AfroerotiK

Erotic provocateur, racially-influenced humanist, relentless champion for the oppressed, and facilitator for social change, Scottie Lowe is the brain child, creative genius and the blood, sweat, and tears behind AfroerotiK. Intended to be part academic, part educational, and part sensual, she, yes SHE gave birth to the website to provide people of African descent a place to escape the narrow-mined, stereotypical, limiting and oft-times degrading beliefs that abound about our sexuality. No, not all Black men are driven by lust by white flesh or to create babies and walk away. No, not all Black women are promiscuous welfare queens. And as hard as it may be to believe, no, not all gay Black men are feminine, down low, or HIV positive. Scottie is putting everything on the table to discuss, debate, and dismantle stereotypes in a healthy exchange of ideas. She hopes to provide a more holistic, informed, and enlightened discussion of Black sexuality and dreams of helping couples be more open, honest, and adventurous in their relationships.

Monday, July 04, 2016

Black BDSM





I'm engaged in an interesting discussion (thankfully, not a debate) about the concept of Black men dominating Black women, and subsequently, Black women dominating Black men.  Several very important questions have been asked of me and I feel it's essential to share my reflections for the larger public in order that others MIGHT examine their own motives, objectives and beliefs and reconsider what they know to be true. 

I dominate white men and white men only.  In this country, with its despicable history of slavery and the exponentially sadistic and cruel treatment our ancestors endured at the hands of white people, treatment in which they did not receive sexual pleasure but that trapped them in a life of servitude, I will NEVER dominate a black body.  I will not degrade, humiliate, or oppress a Black man.  I will, however, work to educate him, lift him up so that he might see his greatness, will offer my unconditional love, support and encouragement.  I owe Black men that much for all that they must endure. 

Black submissive women have been led to believe that choosing to be dominated, giving consent to being beaten and abused by Black men is an empowering alternative to the repeated and persistent rape, molestation, an abuse that we have received at the hands of the men who were entrusted to care for us and who betrayed us.  That is not empowerment, that is conforming to abuse because you know of no alternatives.  It hurts me deeply, on a cellular level, when Black men feel the need to dominate Black women who have been molested, raped, objectified, abused and treated like society's trash. Why is it so hard for us to love each other holistically and completely, without the power exchange and the physical abuse that has been beaten into us?  Obviously, the question is rhetorical. 

Black submissive men are largely, but certainly not all, manifestations of Black men who don't have a foot of black dick swinging between their legs and their internalized self-hatred and low self-esteem resulting from not seeing themselves as “real” Black men in a culture that ONLY respects the engorged penises of African American men.  Manhood is more than just having a big dick however.  Manhood is more than being a hyper-masculine basketball player/rapper/drug dealer who lives to fuck white women.  I've tried to show Black men that manhood is having integrity, keeping your word, developing one's natural skills and abilities with the hopes that they might see that their need to be degraded and shamed for not measuring up to the Mandingo myth is not a measure of their worth in this society. 

Finally the submissive Black men and women who need to submit to white people have an inherent belief that they are inferior, they want to be accepted and loved and valued but they come in the body of darkness that society abhors.  They seek out punishment, to want to be called a nigger whore and other racial epithets because they want to be punished for not being white.  It is the doll experiment all grown up.  Society reinforces in subtle and not so subtle ways that Black is the wrong color.  Is it any wonder that behind closed doors, the very people who want to be respected, who feel frustrated and trapped in a skin color they have been told is wrong seek out insecure white individuals who will degrade them for their Blackness? 

The alternative is to teach Black women to love themselves, to love their dark skin and big lips and their natural, nappy hair that society continually tells them is wrong and bad and ugly.  Love the package that The Creator wanted you to have.  The alternative for Black women is to teach them not to be ashamed of being a victim of rape and molestation as we've been taught to do but rather to shame their abusers publicly and to find TRUE empowerment in demanding that they be treated with sensuality and eroticism and romance rather than submitting to the very men who get pleasure from seeing their pain.  The alternative is for Black women to know their true worth is not to be kicked and slapped and restrained and treated like an object but to KNOW that they are Divine manifestations of the one most high and that is not a white male in sky punishing them for their darkness. 

The alternative for Black men who enjoy dominating Black women?  I don't think there is one.  Their need to feel power over something that comes in the exact form of their mother, the person who gave them life, is reprehensible to me.  If you choose to beat and punish that representation to boost your self-esteem or get sexual pleasure I fear for your eternal soul. 

I dominate white men and men only.  I do not dominate white women because they are victims of the same patriarchal society that oppresses me.  While we do not have the same struggles, I will not participate in their oppression.  I will, however, take great pleasure and satisfaction in divesting white men of their fallacious sense of superiority, their unearned privilege, their arrogance, their condescension and their inherent racist beliefs.  White men have never been the victims of oppression in this society.  They have never been historically and systematically discriminated against.  They have positions of power in which they can maintain institutionalized racism and it is for those and other reasons I will continue to dominate them psychologically.  I do not dominate them sexually as I will not conform to their racist sexual fetishes but I will educate them, I will divest them of their false sense of superiority and I will make them see that my natural superiority is not a role I play to fuel their racist beliefs of what a Black woman is.  

Friday, July 01, 2016

Color Matters





I can't get over how quick people are to repeat cliché’s as if they have any foundation in truth whatsoever.  COLOR MATTERS.  Color matters in every fucking thing.  It matters in every single facet of society.  Color matters in the partners you choose and in the preferences you have for partners.  "Oh, color doesn't matter, love is all there is."  BULLSHIT.  This country is founded on racism, racism exists everywhere you turn.  As long as black children are intentionally undereducated to keep a menial working class, as long as drugs are continually pumped into black neighborhoods to keep the people in the most pain anesthetized, as long as the systems to prevent equal access to people of color still exist, COLOR FUCKING MATTERS. 

Slave mentality still exists.  The preference for light skin and unnatural hair is a manifestation of slave mentality.  If that hasn't been healed, that one tiny drop in the bucket of diseased beliefs that we inherited, then how in the hell can anyone claim that color doesn't matter in an interracial relationship where light skin and "good hair" are going to be the result of procreation?  Brothas dating and marrying white women to get light kids is all too common and then they say, "Well, I didn't meet any black women that were interested in me," or, "white women treat me better." 

Color matters because Black people don't even know the history of the land they came from.  We don't even know the painful history of our past in this country.  How can color not matter in a relationship where slavery and all of its many horrors can not be discussed in an effort to heal the race of people that make up 50% of the relationship? 

Preferences aren't some magical things that happen in a vacuum.  If a black man prefers white women, or Hispanic women, or Asian women, or any and every woman other than Black women, it's because he's been led to believe that black women are “less than” these other women.  "Oh, I can't help who I'm attracted to."  Right, you can't.  However, that doesn't mean that your influences weren't shaped by racist beliefs either, beliefs that made you hate black women and see white women as better.  If the only black woman that you know that you respect is your mother, you can be assured that you have a diseased view of black women that is unhealthy.  If you can't find one black woman that treats you right, if you think that white women treat you better consistently, then you damn skippy are trying to deny your blackness and find your identity in the being colorless which is . . . self-hatred. 

Can people of differing races find love?  Sure.  Does that mean that color doesn't matter?  Hell no.  There are layers upon layers of untreated wounds in black people that lead them to find comfort in the arms of another race.  That's not even addressing the racist beliefs that white people inherent being raised in this society.  To deny that those racist beliefs shape the fabric of interracial relationships is ridiculous. 

White women aren’t inherently more supportive than sistas.

White men don’t have a gene that allows them to treat black women better. 

The black people, both men and women, that claim that they can’t find anyone of their own race to love aren’t colorblind, they are oblivious to their own debilitating beliefs. 

Are there examples of healthy interracial relationships?  Sure, with black people who are secure with their identity, that are not willing to ignore their history, culture, and the oppression of people of color, who do not have to denigrate black men or women in order to find love with another race, and who don’t ascribe to the utopian notion that color doesn’t matter. 

Wednesday, June 29, 2016