The DL man is so afraid to admit to himself that he can’t live up to the narrow role of manhood that society has afforded him that he goes off and engages in unprotected and dangerous sex acts with other men because he can distance himself from the act. It’s not really “him” doing those things, being unmanly, so he can turn off his moral compass and separate himself from his actions. The DL man, in his heart, believes that his manhood is defined by how he receives sexual pleasure, in how many women he can conquer so he doesn’t feel guilt or remorse for telling women how much he despises homosexuals when, in fact, he, feels compelled to have sexual experiences that fall outside that reality without ever having to face up to his own desires or the motivations that drive him to them.
The opposite of the DL man is the AfroerotiK man. The AfroerotiK man is a man who can acknowledge that wearing that role of super-macho, emotionless, manly man isn’t working out for him. The AfroerotiK man, one who can acknowledge the truth that he finds arousal in the arms of another man for many reasons, not the least of which could be the concept of feeling loved, nurtured, protected, and even submissive, is healing and transformative and has no shame in that fact. The AfroerotiK man is one who can redefine manhood to mean something more than paying bills and having a woman on his arm that other men desire. The AfroerotiK man is one who acknowledges that honesty, commitment, integrity, compassion, empathy, courage, and being able to admit your fears, insecurities, and flaws is the TRUE measure of a man. The AfroerotiK man realizes that a woman is more than a pretty symbol of how successful a man is, that she is a partner, a friend, an ally, and someone with whom he can build a solid future with.