Erotic provocateur, racially-influenced humanist, relentless champion for the oppressed, and facilitator for social change, Scottie Lowe is the brain child, creative genius and the blood, sweat, and tears behind AfroerotiK. Intended to be part academic, part educational, and part sensual, she, yes SHE gave birth to the website to provide people of African descent a place to escape the narrow-mined, stereotypical, limiting and oft-times degrading beliefs that abound about our sexuality. No, not all Black men are driven by lust by white flesh or to create babies and walk away. No, not all Black women are promiscuous welfare queens. And as hard as it may be to believe, no, not all gay Black men are feminine, down low, or HIV positive. Scottie is putting everything on the table to discuss, debate, and dismantle stereotypes in a healthy exchange of ideas. She hopes to provide a more holistic, informed, and enlightened discussion of Black sexuality and dreams of helping couples be more open, honest, and adventurous in their relationships.

Showing posts with label masturbation. Show all posts
Showing posts with label masturbation. Show all posts

Saturday, June 22, 2013

Round Midnight

Night time is the right time when those feelings and urges start to surface.  During the day, there are enough distractions and obligations to stay occupied.  On the other side of midnight, the sweet elixir of lust begins to flow freely, creating that dynamic tension, that insatiable need that can only be filled by the release of an earth-shattering orgasm.  She was alone.  More than alone, she was lonely.  Her spirit yearned for connection and intimacy.  Her heart ached to love and be loved.  Her body craved passion, passion of the hot, sweaty, fuck-the-sheets-off-the-bed variety.  Without a partner, however, her options were limited.  Not one to go to a bar for a casual pick-up, and not sufficiently motivated to have a meaningless booty-call or a fuck buddy, her bed was her only companion for the evening.  What does a sexually empowered woman do when she doesn’t have someone to spend time with romantically?  What options does an Afrosensual sista have when there is no companion to satisfy those carnal cravings?  Sometimes, a woman just has to just take matters into her own hands. 

Late at night, with nothing but a red, satin night shirt pulled loosely around her, she began her ritual of self-love.  She was going to make love to herself, fully and completely, just as if she was her own best lover.  Nothing could ever replace the touch of a real lover though, their fingers caressing her body, making her squirm and moan with erotic delight, arousing her passions.  Her full, soft, round breasts needed to be caressed and her nipples had hardened to rock-hard peaks that needed to be pulled, pinched, and twisted.  Her skin was soft and supple, moistened by shea butter, and it glistened in the soft night light.   Closing her eyes, she could almost feel the soft, sensuous lips of her lover softy sucking, licking, and nibbling those peaks of pleasure.  The sensations traveled to her clit and caused her to get even wetter and far more aroused. 

It was the throbbing between her legs that caused her body to thrash about in wild abandon.   The soft petals of her yoni flower blossomed open and its fragrant aroma was intoxicating.    Slowly, her hands slid down the soft expanse of her tummy, moving toward the junction of pleasure that resided between her legs.  She spread the lips of her pussy and her fingers found the spot that would eventually drive her to fits of ecstasy. Stroking her hardened clit with one hand and thrusting the fingers of her other hand past her inner lips and deep inside her sweet spot, she got lost in her ritual of pleasure.  Lips parted, legs spread, her breathing became labored and her moans grew in intensity. 

She wanted to feel her lover’s body on top of hers, crushing her, taking her breath away.  She wanted to taste the salty nape of his neck, feel his hot breath against her skin, hear his profane and erotic confessions of how delirious and light-headed her pussy made him feel.  He was not there.  It was not his steely erection she felt thrusting savagely in and out of her.  She was alone and responsible for her own mounting pleasure, calling her to the pinnacle of release.  Her glasses were fogged and her sexy brown body tossed, turned, and writhed with seething hotness.  She exploded in erotic surrender with her imaginary lover and only her pillow to hold tight.
Copyright 2013 AfroerotiK All Rights Reserved

Sunday, January 30, 2011

Key Elements for a Healthy Relationship

I wrote this in 2005 (and updated some of the political references for today) but I really think it needs to be explored again now.  Not only because I'm going through some relationship drama in my life but because the principles outlined herein are more relevant today than they were six years ago. 

It’s become more and more apparent to me, over the course of the last couple of weeks, that most people are absolutely clueless when it comes to what constitutes and establishes a healthy relationship.  What’s worse, we aren’t even interested in changing our behaviors in an effort to move to a different place, we want to hold on to obviously dysfunctional and destructive patterns, justify them, and then blame other people for hurting us.  The choices we make in our relationships are blatantly unhealthy and then we cry and boo hoo that the other person has wronged us.  I know that everyone isn’t on the same path of healing but it seems almost incomprehensible that it’s 2005 and people are not even willing to make efforts to examine their lives in a conscious effort to build a stronger relationship.

NOW, I’ll be the first to say that I’m not an expert on relationships.  I haven’t been in a relationship for almost 15 years.  In those 15 years however, I’ve spent a lot of time trying to analyze why I’ve chosen the relationships I’ve been in, what I did wrong, what belief systems I need to change, and trying to conceptualize exactly how I want any future relationships I enter into.  I’ve tried to determine exactly what I want my partner to be like, how I want to interact with my partner, what I bring to the table, and what things I will and will not compromise on in a partnership.  I’ve come up with some things that I think are essential for building a healthy relationship and I’m going to share my thoughts on the subject with the hopes that some other people will come up with criteria that will work for them in building a strong relationship.

  1. First and foremost, in order to build a healthy and strong relationship, you must, you MUST look at why you are the way you are.  You have to figure out why you like the men that don’t like you, why you choose the women that need to be rescued and then you resent them when they ask you for security.  You have to look at the reasons behind why you fall in love in a week and then three months later you hate that person like they are a serial killer.   Why do you continue to love people that don’t love you?  Why do you feel like your life is over when you get rejected?  All of the reasons why we behave the way we do are set up in our childhood.  We duplicate the things we experienced in our childhood so we must figure out what caused us to be the way we are.  Your dad wasn’t around, your mother played the martyr “Strong Black woman” icon, you saw her have a string of no good men come in and out of your life, you wanted your daddy to love you, you wanted to be like your daddy, cool and aloof and unattached . . . whatever the belief system, you have to figure that out first and foremost so you can identify the pattern in your relationships and work to correct it.  When you see that red flag pop up, you can understand where it comes from and then work towards moving to a healthier place.  The problem with looking at our past is that it’s painful.  We don’t want to have to face the fact that we think we are unworthy of love because we feel fat, ugly, insecure, or flawed.  We don’t want to admit to ourselves that we have fears of abandonment from when we had to go live with our auntie when we were little.  It is that acknowledgement and that ability to examine YOUR OWN LIFE that will make you a better person in a relationship and without that, you are doomed to continue to perpetuate those same horrible relationships over and over again.

  1. You must have a set of emotional criteria that you feel is essential for what constitutes a loving relationship for you.  You must define your emotional boundaries and establish what you need emotionally in a relationship and you have to demand that from your partner.  What does that mean?  Everyone has different things that would make them feel loved and valued, you have to have that clearly defined in your head and then seek a partner that is willing to help you paint that picture.  If you meet someone and they can’t subscribe to your vision of love, if its too much of a burden for them to do the things you need to feed you emotionally, that’s not the person for you.  For some people, you need a partner that will call you every day and check in with you just to make sure you are doing okay.  For others, it means you need physical affection, constant hugs and kisses, and intimacy.  Others still might need a relationship in which there is no fighting.  You have to know what you want your relationship to look like in order for you to be able to achieve it.  The trick is to identify the emotional things that build strong relationships and not the material things that damage them. 

Suppose, as a woman, you think love is having a man buy you all sorts of thing and pay all your bills.  You seek that out in a partner and then he beats you, controls your every move, you feel trapped.  What you’ve done is identify a selfish material need, not an emotional need.  The emotional need would be to feel security.  Security comes in many forms and can be expressed in lots of ways.  If your man helps you organize your bills so you can pay them on time yourself, helps you get your resume together so you can get a better job with more income, quizzes you with interview questions, if he helps you plan a budget so that you can save to buy a house and you won’t have to be uprooted once a year, that’s meeting your emotional needs, not your physical ones.  If, as a man, you want a relationship where you have a woman that looks like she stepped off the cover of a magazine or a video set every day in order to show other men that you are better than them, in order to prove that you have what it takes to get the best looking woman, what you are looking for emotionally is confidence and self esteem.  That can’t come from a woman; true confidence and self-esteem must come from inside.  That woman that has her hair done all the time, her nails and toes painted to match, that wears the designer outfit in her two-seater, convertible sports car will not honor you as a man, she will use you for your money and move on when the next man with more money offers to buy her.  The woman that will help you go back to school and get your degree, and who will get up at 5 am on a Saturday morning to help you train for that marathon is the woman that will support your accomplishments and be a loving partner.  As long as you go for the packaging and not what’s inside, you’ll be doomed to be miserable in your relationships.

3.      A healthy relationship must be built on integrity and selflessness.  Integrity means steadfast adherence to a strict moral or ethical code and selflessness means exhibiting, or motivated by NO concern for oneself; unselfish.  Those are foreign words to most people these days because we’ve been socialized to look out for self.  The idea of putting another person’s feelings above our own is impossible for some people to grasp.  You can’t be in a healthy relationship if you lie, cheat, or make choices that benefit you and not your partner.  Every choice, every decision, every move you make has to benefit your partner or your relationship.  Now, here’s the rub.  Your partner has to have the same commitment to the relationship in order for it to work.  You can’t say, “I love John/Mary, but I have to go out on Friday night to party because that’s what I love to do and if they don’t like it, too bad.”  Well, that’s not entirely true.  You can say that but you will be in a very unhealthy relationship if you do.  To be in a healthy relationship, you have to put your needs last and have a partner that is willing to put their needs last as well.  If both of you are working on building a relationship where you honor and love the other person, where you put the other person’s needs ahead of your own, both of you will be in a relationship where neither on will jeopardize the relationship by doing something selfish.  That means you can’t have instant gratification all the time.  That means you won’t cheat when the opportunity comes up because you think you can get away with it because you will think about your spouse and know that your actions would hurt them.  You won’t stay out all weekend without calling because you will know that they will be worried to death about you.  You won’t buy the super expensive hot tub or the entertainment system you’ve always wanted without asking permission first because you know any selfish choice you make for yourself in the relationship will negatively effect how you get along.  You will ask your partners opinion on things and come to a compromise that honors both of you. 

4.      It almost goes without saying because it’s so essential and most people will say they want it in a relationship but hardly anyone at all practices it.  Honesty is the foundation for a healthy relationship.  Honesty means telling your partner all your dirty little secrets, fears, fantasies, dreams, and insecurities.  Honesty is the ultimate measure of respect for your partner and it’s the cornerstone for two people relating in a way that will grow and build.  You must start by being honest with yourself.  That means you must be able to admit to yourself that you really do like the idea of having sex in a tub of chocolate pudding and that it’s not going to go away, no matter how much you want it to.  You have to tell be able to tell your partner all of the things that make you tick or otherwise you are only presenting a shell of yourself to your partner and you are not allowing them to love all of you.  If you have a sexual fantasy that you are afraid to share you’re your spouse, that means you are ashamed of your fantasy.  If you are ashamed of your fantasy, that means you are not being true to yourself.  “But my wife will never understand that I want to get fucked in the ass with a strapon, she’ll think I’m gay.”  “My boyfriend will never understand that I want to be gangbanged.”  If you are with a partner who will not be willing to communicate and love you for who you are, you aren’t in a healthy relationship.  There is no consensual sexual fantasy or fetish that should not be able to be discussed.  You, as an adult, should be able to  A.) point to the emotional need it fills in you and work to get that in other ways, and B.) keep in mind that if you choose to fulfill a fantasy without your partner, you’ve violated the rule of putting your partner’s emotional needs first. 

Honesty goes far beyond just sharing your fantasies.  You have to be able to tell your spouse that you peed your pants in the third grade when the teacher called you to the blackboard and you were nervous because you didn’t know the answer.  You have to be able to tell your spouse that your cousin molested you when you were 10 and it’s fucked with your head ever since.  You have to have a commitment to telling your partner that you’ve made a mistake and were unfaithful and let them choose how to process that information in a way that is healthy for them.   You have to not keep the information that the IRS is going to repossess your home for tax fraud you had before you got married.  Any time you keep a secret from your spouse, any time you lie, and time you allow dishonesty to come between you and your partner, you are chipping away at the foundation of your healthy relationship. 

“Well, I’m in a relationship and I know that he or she will leave me if I told them the truth about all the shit I’ve done.”  That is a glaring indication that you are in an unhealthy relationship.  There are too many things that will work to destroy your relationship outside your front door.  Again, you have to have a commitment to telling the truth and you have to have a partner that is equally as committed to telling the truth.  If you start letting dishonesty in your relationship, your partner will not have your back when the shit hits the fan.  Having a healthy relationship is not easy, in fact, it’s very hard.  Lies and healthy relationship just don’t mix.

5.      Good communication is essential in building a healthy relationship.  You and your partner must have a way to disagree that doesn’t include yelling, screaming, and calling names.  Most of us don’t know how to do that so go get a book on communication or go to counseling.  You must be willing to let your partner be mad without getting defensive.  You must be willing to let your partner have the space they need in order to process their emotions.  You have to be willing to look things from their perspective and see things as they see them.  You have to be willing to find a partner that is committed to having the same standard to communication as you or else you’ve just entered into another dysfunctional relationship. 

6.      Similar belief systems are a key ingredient to building a strong, healthy relationship.  I’ve heard many people say that they want a partner who shares the same social interests as them but they don’t care what their philosophical, or political, or spiritual beliefs are.  That is a recipe for a shaky relationship at best.  It would be great if you and your partner liked the same music and movies and you both liked to bowl.  Those things are entertainment and it would be great to share those things with your partner.  If, however, you are looking to build a healthy relationship with you partner, those things are icing on the cake and not the key ingredients to building a relationship.  If you are a radical libertarian and you get involved with someone who thinks Sarah Palin will make a great president (which is saying a whole helluva lot) then you are going to be setting up arguments in your relationship about your core beliefs.  If you like skating and your partner likes chess but you both are staunch Green Party, Pro-Choice, Anti-war, vegetarian, Hassidic Jews then you can go out skating, your partner can go out and play chess and when you come home you’ll be share your thoughts and feelings over a plate of curry lentils and plan out a strategy to hug a tree and rally for legislation to bring our soldiers home.  Those are the things that will make the community better and building a strong community starts with building a strong family unit first.  If you like 50cent and your partner like Cold Play, you can set times to listen to your music and his or her music that doesn’t piss both of you off.  If you believe in your heart that a gay couple has a right to adopt and your partner does not, you are going to go to bed pissed off and mad many, many night. 

7.      Compromise is a huge keyword for relationships.  People seem to confuse compromising with your partner and compromising your standards.  If you have done your homework and you are really interested in building a strong relationship, you’ve already decided what you need to emotionally fulfill you.  With that list in hand, you need to compare every person you meet to that list and decided which things are must haves, which things are “nice to haves.”  On your emotional list, you must be rigid in the selection of your partner because if you compromise on what you need, you’ll end up unhappy and miserable and you’ll end up sabotaging your relationship by trying to make your partner feel as unhappy as you are.  Now, there’s another list of things that you want in your partner, the physical things.  You want a partner that is a certain height, weight, complexion, hair length, etc.  Other than hygiene, treat everything on that list with a grain of salt.  “Oh, but I know what I like and I can’t change what turns me on.”  That’s great.  Mature adults in healthy relationships, however, can see far beyond the outside of the package.  Make your priority the qualities of the heart you are looking for and not the 38DDDs or the 10 inch dick.  I’m not suggesting you partner with someone you think is ugly, but if you find someone you find attractive and they aren’t as tall as you’d like, or they don’t have small feet or something superficial, look past that. 

Compromise inside of a relationship is essential.  Once you’ve found the person who has looked at their own issues, that is committed to being honest, and putting your feelings ahead of theirs, that is interested in communicating without yelling and has the same passions as you, THEN and only then can you compromise on what movie to go to Friday, whose parents you are going to for the holidays, and what to name the children.  In order to get the sort of person that is worthy of that sort of compromise, you must BE that sort of person first.  All too often, we say, “Oh, I’ll change when I meet the person that is worth it.”  Sadly, you have to change who you are first and then you’ll attract the sort of people that will be worth it. 

If you aren’t in a relationship now and you want to be, how do you ensure that the next relationship will be healthier than your last?  Go down the list and start by making a commitment that you are going to work on all of those things before you enter into a relationship again.  Practice being honest, it’s not easy.  Practice resolving conflicts in a different way.  Decide what emotional needs you want met in your relationship and be willing to put them on the table as non-negotiables.  When you find a person and they fit the outside criteria and not the emotional needs, make a commitment to pass and continue to invest your time and energy into relationships that is healthy.  Sit down and write out all the things that shaped your personality.  Take the time to really get to know a person BEFORE you commit to them.  Take some time to get to know yourself.   That means stay in the house for a few weekends, don’t talk on the phone every night trying to find someone to hook up with.  Don’t be so desperate to be in a relationship that you throw yourself at the next person that shows interest in you.  I’d say if you did any combination of those things, you’d be on your way to a more fulfilling, satisfying, enriching relationship than the ones you’ve been in in the past.

Copyright 2005 Scottie Lowe

Saturday, January 29, 2011

I Want a Lover with a Slow Hand

Life is always giving us opportunities to grow and evolve, right?  Ever the introspective one, I’m always attempting to look within, challenge my beliefs systems, and heal my wounds by being radically honest and self-aware.  I had the opportunity recently to connect intimately with a potential partner.  For several reasons, I decided that it was going to be several months before we had sex.  Of course, there were times when I was hot and bothered and I rationalized how several weeks rather than months would be sufficient for our self-imposed abstinence.  Of course, at times, I was so incredibly aroused I was willing to say, “To hell with weeks, days, hours, or minutes, I need you inside me NOW!”  Calmer heads prevailed and we didn’t have sex.  I’m fortunate that we didn’t because I subsequently learned that he was not anywhere near the quality and caliber of man that I was looking for in a partner and sex would have not only made me more intimately bonded to him, it also would have made it virtually impossible (or, more accurately, extremely difficult) for me to break that bond when he revealed his true, disingenuous colors.  In our erotic exploration, however, I learned a few things about myself and my erotic needs.  

I have a clear vision of what I want, crave, and need from a lover.  AfroerotiK is not just my company, my brand, a vehicle for my writing, it is my philosophy.  AfroerotiK is how I live my life.  My lover, the man who will ultimately get to share my body in ways that few will ever tastes the pleasures of, is someone who does not feel the need to degrade me during sex.  While I understand clearly that the prevalence of porn and women who have been socialized to be objects creates an almost understated forgone conclusion that women will want to be called a bitch, whore, and a slut during sex, that we will want to be pounded, slapped, and made to suck dick, gag, and willingly accept cum on our faces or down our throats and enjoy it, there are some of us, at the very least I am absolutely NOT aroused by or interested in any such treatment.  That doesn’t mean that I need slow and gentle lovemaking with candles burning and Teddy Pendergrass playing every time in the background.  I just need the simple acknowledgment that he understands that my body is a gift to him and that I don’t feel any arousal at being objectified, used, or humiliated.  I love getting fucked.  In fact, I adore the concept of my lover being so incredibly aroused that he is driven to fits of almost maniacal lust inside me.  My lover will not need to spank, slap, restrain or call me names during sex.  That means that I want him to see me as the special, unique, and wonderful woman I am.  I cannot and will not tolerate being called names in the heat of passion in order to appease a male ego that needs to degrade women in order to feel arousal.  

I desire a lover who understands well that intimacy, sensuality, and passion are intricately tied to lovemaking and that sex is an expression of spiritual and emotional communion and love as well as lust and desire.  I need a lover who understands that making love is not just fucking slow.   He will understand that the more time he takes to get me wet the more I will be willing to show my passion for him in virtually unspeakable and unthinkable ways.   He will be willing to take his time to learn my body.  And by take his time, I don’t mean 30 minutes of foreplay and dirty talk, I mean weeks if need be to understand what buttons to push to make me soak the sheets and wake the neighbors.  I need a lover who will slowly, sensually, caress every square inch of my body in an effort to provide me with pleasure, not just a perfunctory, half-hearted massage that barely masks his thinly-veiled attempts to get to get directly to my pussy.  The man who understands that my asshole needs slow, tender gentle attention in order to get to the fast, furious earth-shattering fucking that will come when he takes his time.  I am not the first woman you fucked when you were 16 years old and what she liked is surely not what I will like.  I need someone who can understand that my body is sensitive in ways that most other women’s is not and that biting, pinching and grabbing will not get me anywhere near the place where I’m begging to have a man inside me.  Quite a few men would do well to learn how to give a good massage, not trying to squeeze and knead out tension like a sports therapist but to play my body like an instrument, coaxing it to arousal with soft caresses.   

One of the traits that is essential for me in a man is his ability to control his lusts.  If a man feels he must masturbate every day, look at porn every single day, then it’s apparent to me that he can only see sex as a physical outlet and that I am nothing more than a receptacle for his sperm, a masturbatory aide.  Masturbation is healthy, it feels good, it’s a much needed release.  Being unable to go a week or even two weeks without ejaculation is a sign of sexual immaturity and dysfunction.  Yes, I fully understand that men tend to have higher sex drives than women and I’m almost sure I understand that what they feel is vastly different to the sensations I feel when I orgasm.  That being said, however, a sexually mature individual is someone who can appreciate delayed gratification.  I’m sure there are lots of men who are offended by the concept of me suggesting that their daily masturbation is somehow wrong.  For them, perhaps it is not.  For my potential lover however, it most certainly is.  A man who is driven by his need to cum is a man who will lie, cheat, and manipulate in order to get sex.  That man has absolutely NO chance of ever experiencing my body.  I might add that there are some men who say that they never masturbate.  I think I am to understand that they say that masturbation doesn’t feel as good as the real thing, that it’s not manly, or there is some biblical reason to abstain from self pleasure.  Those are the very same men who will fuck anyone without standard or discrimination in order to get off.  Needless to say, those men are not the men who will gain access to my sacred space either.  Balance and maturity are the keys to my treasure.  

My AfroerotiK lover is one who will use his lips, tongue, and mouth gently to explore every inch of my body.  He will be willing to take the time to bathe my body, anoint me with oils and lotions, lick my pussy softly and sensually until I’m creaming in his mouth and begging for him to penetrate me.  He will use his dick, not as a weapon to stab but as an vehicle of pleasure to drive me to fits of pleasure, orgasm, and ecstasy over and over and over again.  

Copyright 2011 AfroerotiK All Rights Reserved

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Promises, Promises

Being a bachelor is great, right? You can do what you want, come and go as you please, with no one to answer to. There’s a side to living the single life that a lot of guys don’t like to talk about however. If you’re not the type of brotha who’s a playboy, with hot, nympho supermodels coming in and out at all hours of the night, if the majority of your sex comes from a computer screen and not a human being, life can be really lonely for the single guy.

That was the sad reality for Chase. He worked 9 to 5 or so at an insurance company at a job that was so incredibly boring that he contemplated running away to Rio every morning during his daily commute. He couldn’t really complain too much, he got away with doing as little work as possible and got paid well enough to go on vacation, party, save a little, and live comfortably. He wasn’t ugly, he was attractive by most standards, but he just wasn’t the sort of guy that felt comfortable going out picking up random chicks. He could if he applied himself to the effort but it just didn’t seem worth the drama.

It was the ride home from work where Chase’s inner sexual demons started taunting him. Living alone, Chase had become addicted to masturbation. He felt guilty about the fact that he felt like he was enslaved to his raging sexual desires. Sitting in bumper-to-bumper traffic, he made a deal with himself. “I’m not going to do it tonight. Yeah, I’m not going to do it for another month, starting today,” he affirmed aloud.

Arriving home, Chase headed straight for the bathroom. Pulling out his dick, he let loose with a stream of hot urine into the bowl. It felt good to piss and before the strong yellow stream finished, his dick was getting wood. He stroked it a little and pulled his balls out and started rolling them in his fingers. Catching a glance of himself in the mirror, the guilt hit him and he stopped before he got too carried away.

Getting out of his suit and putting on some comfortable sweats, Chase was free to fix dinner. Well, he ordered take-out because he had never even used his stove before. Committed to his vow, he sat down to watch TV while he ate his buffalo wings. He hadn’t even been home for an hour before he started getting anxious. “I’ll just log on, check my email, and log off,” he said to himself, knowing that it was the Internet that was his downfall.

Before he could even open up a browser, he got an IM from one of his buddies saying, “hey whaz up u gonna cam 2nite?”

“Nah, not tonight,” he replied before he went invisible. He checked his email and other than notification that an ousted Nigerian parliamentarian was seeking his assistance in getting $2 million bucks out of the country, he didn’t have any emails. He checked his MySpace and Black Planet pages, wrote about how much he hated his job on his blog, and he didn’t see a reason not to check his Xtube page while he was at it. The temptation was just too great and he checked out some of the recently added videos. He watched a few women getting pounded hard in the ass while he played with his nipples, twisting and rubbing them. There couldn’t be any harm in checking out a few tranny vids, could there? Before he knew it, Chase had been watching porn for two hours and his dick was as hard as a rock and he was stroking it with his favorite lotion for lube. He’d been teasing himself the entire time and he was desperate to cum.

He struggled within himself. He didn’t want to go back on his vow but he was so horny, so turned on. He felt ashamed of himself, and guilty. It was almost as if his lust controlled him when he was in this sort of aroused state. Now, completely naked, he was fingering his ass and didn’t give a damn about the empty promise he’d made to himself.

He went to his closet and got out all of his toys. Chase had a collection of dildos that went from small butt plugs he could wear under his suits at work with no one the wiser to gigantic, humongous, enormous dildos that didn’t look like human beings could take them. They ranged in color from light cocoa to the darkest of ebony. His dick leaked precum at the very thought of feeling those huge, fake dicks penetrating his ass.

Part of his arousal was feeling the shame. He felt dirty and abnormal for loving things shoved up his ass but that turned him on as well. He was terrified he was the only brotha in the world who loved women, loved pussy, loved fucking but also loved feeling his asshole stuffed with hard, huge fake dicks. When he was aroused like this, his ass had a mind of it’s own. He couldn’t count how many times he’d thrown every dildo he owned away, promising to never do it again, only to wind up a few weeks later, replacing all the ones he’d discarded and buying even more to add to his collection. He just couldn’t come to terms with the fact that his asshole would get as horny as a pussy, throbbing and desperate to be filled, fucked savagely, and left gaping open.

As hard as he tried, he couldn’t go more than three or four days without it. Something in him took over and it was all he could think about. He had a ritual. He went from small to large, talking to himself out loud the entire time. “Ohh, that’s it. Ohhh, it feels so good going in my tight hole. Mmmm, I can feel the head of that dick stretching my anal ring, sliding in deep. Damn, I love feeling that thick shaft in me.” He didn’t even have to touch his prick, it leaked on it’s own. When he did jerk his stiff, hard erection, he craved the feeling of a big, hard dildo deep, deep inside him. He loved feeling slutty and by the time he was in the zone, he as out of control with his fantasies. “Fuck yeah, fill my pussy with that hard meat. Give it to me, fuck me with that big dick.”

Truth be told, he was crazy for the feeling of being penetrated but he was terrified of being bisexual. Those fears seemed to disappear when he was fucking himself; he got off in those moments of depravity by thinking of himself as a faggot gangbang slut, taking on four and five dudes at a time, being used, driving them crazy with his insatiable asspussy that couldn’t be satisfied, that would drain them of their cum and be ready for more.

By 11:00, Chase was deep in his nightly routine and he was ready for the 13-inch dildo in his ass. It was over four inches thick at the base and as black as night. He positioned the base on the wall and got on his knees. He teased himself by rubbing it up and down his ass crack and over his balls. He liked teasing himself, pretending that he had to beg for it like a filthy whore. His asshole was throbbing with desire and he heard himself moan as he backed up on the head. For Chase, that was one of the most intense feelings, feeling that thick head pop in his hole. He taunted his fantasy lover, “Oh yeah, does that feel good? You like the way my tight, wet, hot pussy makes you feel?” He backed up on the dildo and felt every inch as it went deeper and deeper inside. Luckily, he’s laid out some towels on the floor because by the time he’d worked that entire dildo in his ass, he’d pissed himself and it felt damn sexy.

The feeling of fullness was indescribable. Chase wished he could stay like that forever, with that huge dildo deep in him, filling him, keeping him on the edge of pleasure and satisfying a need in him to be filled. He grabbed another dildo and shoved it in his mouth, sucking it like only a cheap whore could. He wanted two real dicks filling him, making him take every inch. In his mind, he was a cum slut, bareback bitch, getting hot cum pumped in him from both ends. Chase was like an animal, sweating and moaning and fucking himself like crazy. He worked every inch of that thick dildo in his ass and wiggled that ass like a stripper to work it deeper. He got into a rhythm where he would take it all the way out to the head and slam back on it hard, causing himself to moan out in pleasure as he fucked himself over and over again. When he felt himself getting close to cumming, he stopped; prolonging the pleasure was such an intense high he didn’t mind only getting a few hours sleep at night in order to scratch that itch in his mancunt.

When he lay on the bed, with his legs in the air, he could see the dildo going in and out of his pussy in the mirror. He loved looking at his sexy brown hole gape open, imagining loads and loads of hot cum dripping from it. He found himself on more than one occasion licking and sucking a dildo directly from his ass, tasting his manly ass juices and shoving it back in only to lick and suck it again. He talked to himself in the mirror, “Look at you. You are so nasty. Look at you cleaning that filthy dick straight from your shithole. Mmm, it tastes so good.”

When he knew he couldn’t take it anymore, when he knew he was about to explode with cum, he turned on his web cam, mounted his favorite, curved dildo to his chair and gave a show for anyone who wanted to see. His fans loved seeing him ride that thick dildo as much as they loved seeing him stroke his own impressive dick. Every time that curved dildo hit his spot, he would moan like a bitch. “Fuck yeah, I love feeling that big hard dick in my pussy. I’m such a faggot slut. I can’t get enough. I’m addicted to feeling that thick, hard shaft shoved in me. I need it deeper, harder.” The muscles in his thighs flexed and he jerked his erection in time, hard and fast. “I’m such a fucking cumwhore. I love getting fucked in my ass. Shit, fuck me. Fuck, it feels so fucking good. Goddamn bareback pussy boi whore who can’t get enough. Fucking fag boy who loves getting fucked. Dirty, nasty shithole slut, getting that hot, thick dickmeat where I need it. Come on, can’t you fuck me any harder than that? Use this tight manpussy, rip it open. Oh god, I can’t take it, I’m going to cum. Shit . . . Fuck . . . Damnnnnnnn!!!! Oh fuck, I’m cumming.”

Cleanup was a bitch. The last thing he wanted to do at 3 in the morning was to wash up and put everything away in its hiding place. He knew if he didn’t, Chase knew that if he didn’t put everything away then and there, that when he came home from work later that evening, that he would be too tempted to do it again. And this time made a promise to himself that he wasn’t going to do it again for at least another month.

Copyright 2008 AfroerotiK