I Don’t Want to be Slapped

It is generally presumed that women have some sort of genetic predisposition to being degraded during sex, that we are hard-wired to want to be submissive to men.  I have zero submissive inclinations, less than zero in fact as the thought totally turns me off.  I don’t want to be slapped, choked, or spit on during sex.  I don’t want my nipples bitten, twisted, or pulled or my breasts mauled or squeezed.  I don’t think it’s erotic to be called a bitch, slut, or a whore because I’m none of those things.  Who’s my daddy? McKinley Scott was and he was altogether exceptional I don’t want or need another one.  While we are on the subject, I don’t want or need to be tied up, restrained, spanked, or disciplined.  I’m not a bad girl, I’m an amazing woman.  Don’t you dare hold my head when I’m going down on you or try to force your dick down my throat to make me gag or vomit or you might lose a nut . . . if you’re lucky.  There is nothing erotic about anyone forcing their entire hand in any of my orifices. .  I don’t want to have casual sex with someone who is undeserving of my body nor do I want to have sex in a public restroom or alley or some filthy, disgusting location.  Just the thought of having a train run on me, with multiple men using me like a piece of trash is repulsive.  What’s more than repulsive?  Whatever it is, multiply that times 1000. 

As much as I love a vigorous, enthusiastic, intense anal fuck, the only ATM I’m doing is Bank of America’s for cash withdrawals.  I don’t care what you read in 50 Shades, pain is not a motivator nor an aphrodisiac for me.   Don’t cum in my mouth unless I give you permission and until your dick squirts Lancome Absolue L'Extrait at $360 a pop, literally, don’t even think about shooting your cream on my face.  I’ve been raped.  It’s horrifying and violent, it’s not a secret fantasy.  I’m not going to wear 7 inch heels or some restricting, oppressive, costume and swing around on a pole to turn you on because I’m not an object or thing to be used for your pleasure.  Most importantly, no means no.  Stop means no.  Don’t means hell no.  My body is not a receptacle for you to pound out your anger, frustration, your low self-esteem, or even your recreational lust. 

I can’t tell you the exact number of women who love each and every one of those things but I’m sure it’s astronomical.   I can with some certainty tell you that the number of men who need to degrade women during sex is greater than the number of women who want and/or need it.  That’s cool for other people but I ain’t the one.  I don’t feel that being degraded makes sex hotter and I don’t want to be called names out of bed so why the hell would it be a turn on for me to be called names in bed?   I can see people’s eyes rolling around in their heads.  How dare I even suggest that I’m too good for those things!  I can hear people screaming at their screens that I’m denigrating others for their preferences.  No, I’m not.  I very clear that I don’t like those things but I have no need to dictate what anyone else should or should not like.  But, the common belief is surely that anyone who doesn’t like those things is a puritanical prude who only likes boring, vanilla sex, right?  Wrong!!!!   I simply don’t want or need any sort of shame, humiliation, pain, or subservience associated with any sort of sex I have. 

What I do have is a genetic predisposition to being loved, nurtured, pampered, cared for, and being passionately made love to.  I adore being pleasured until my eyes roll back in my head and the sheets are soaked with . . . all sorts of stuff.  I want to be licked and fingered and fucked after hours and hours of foreplay.  I want to massage, caress, and stroke every inch of skin my lover has and in turn have him do the same to me.  I’m not ashamed of my sexuality and I have no need for sex to be shameful, secret, taboo, or degrading for it to be arousing to me.  I am unapologetically in need of passion, intense intimacy, and communication as the only essential elements that will have me soaking wet and begging for more. 

Play with my nipples for hours, keeping me on edge until I’m begging for you to fuck me.   I love playing with toys mutually.  I love incorporating role-play and fantasies into sex.  I am aroused by exhibitionism with the person I love and I want to fuck like an animal until we both explode in a heap of spent love and lust and passion for one another.  I want to cum in my man’s mouth.  I want to be responsive to his needs and have him be responsive to mine as well as long as it’s with the understanding that sex is not about power for me.  I want to share all my dirty fantasies and secrets with him.  I want to be loved and made love to.  I want to be respected.  I want to be admired.  I want to be cherished and desired and fucked like a beast.  Lick my nipples softly and gently.  Rub my clit on the right side with my vibrator, listening to my moans grow louder and more intense until you know how to make me cum as well as I do.  Tease my wet pussy with your tongue, fingers, and dick and you’ll be rewarded with a mouthful of sweet, juicy creamy reward.  And when I am begging and screaming for it, when I have a crazed look in my eyes and I’m waking up the neighbors, FUCK ME.  Fuck me hard and steady and relentlessly until we cum in orgasmic fits of pleasure. 

Scottie Lowe

Copyright 2015 All Rights Reserved

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AfroerotiK Stands for Black Excellence

I want nothing more than the evolution of my people.  I want us to walk proud and strong and confident, knowing our history and not being ashamed of it.  I want us to be the best.  I want us to be articulate and informed, knowledgeable and wise.  I want us to be seekers of knowledge and masters of education.  I see absolutely nothing wrong with being mathematicians, scientists, physicists, physicians, even politicians if we have the best interests of our community at heart.  But not everyone is meant to be a scholar so I want us to strive for excellence in whatever it is we do as long as it is aligned with our collective good.  I want us to create great works of art and music and theater that will stand the test of time.  I want us, as a people, to be grand alchemists and metaphysicians, relinquishing the suffocating chokehold that Western religion has around our necks.  I want us be physically strong, rejecting the poison we put in our bodies and vigorously pursuing a sound body and mind.  I want us to embrace the intellect we once possessed that allowed us to be the creators of all the humanities and sciences, that built pyramids and mapped the stars with greater accuracy than modern man can comprehend.  I want each individual of African descent throughout the Diaspora to know their special talent, what purpose they were born to fulfill, and to exploit it to the benefit of themselves, their families, our community and humanity. 

I desperately want us to be healed from our emotional, psychological, and mental wounds.  I want us to heal from our personal abuses and the collective traumas that were inflicted upon our innocence as children and our ancestors.  I want us to repair our broken spirits and fix the hurt we try to suppress.  I want our relationships to be healed, our communication to be clear.  I wish with all my heart for us to embrace honesty, integrity, and responsibility not because they are traits inherent to white people, rather they are the traits of healthy individuals.  I want us to put aside Eurocentric standards and rules and embrace what is holistic and pure and true.  I want us to evolve and grow and mature collectively; I do not want us to be happy remaining stagnant and complacent and dysfunctional.  We must rage against the machine of mediocrity to ascend to our true place of greatness.   I need for us to fight back against racism, oppression, bigotry, and the fallacy of white supremacy, to be armed intellectually to fight the battle against those who do not see our inherent value as human beings.  I want us to prosper financially, to provide for our families and to never know need or lack, but not to be enslaved to capitalism and greed and gross materialism. 

If we were to be citizens of the world, accepting and respecting other cultures but loving our own the most, nothing would make me happier.  Open-minded, non-judgmental, and progressive are characteristic I wish we all possessed as a race.  I desperately want us to love the skin we are in.  I want us to love our natural hair, our full features, our bodies whatever shape they are in, and the deep, dark, melanated skin from whence we all originated.    I think most of all I want us to release the shackles of shame that surround our sexuality so that we might know true freedom.  I want us to embrace and celebrate our sensuality, not be driven by our lusts.  I want us to explore pleasure without boundaries but not be a slave to it.  I want us to redefine our identities, to become more than victims of our circumstances but creators of a new paradigm.  AfroerotiK stands for the passage from dark to light, the transformation from stagnant to vibrant. 

I "Be Like" Confused

I feel stupid asking these sorts of questions constantly but I really need someone to explain to me the objection Black people have to using correct grammar.  Is it because it's too many words to use and they feel that they can communicate more effectively by completely eliminating parts of speech so as to be more concise?  Is it because speaking correct English conforms to a European standard and to be "really" Black is to rebel against the slave master's language by butchering his language?  Black people embrace every other thing the slave master beat into us: his religion, his standards of beauty, his social mores, but I’m supposed to believe that we are rallying against prepositions and dangling particles because the white man gave it to us?   

I've heard the argument that Black people are simply replicating the patterns of speech from West Africa and even ancient KMT but that's absurd.  We don't replicate anything else from Africa, why only speech patterns.  And maybe I’m the only one who can see the obvious but it seems clear to me and anyone with half a brain that Black peopel are clearly replicating the speech patterns of the slave, not the West African.  Is there some moral objection to speaking correctly I'm unaware of?  I'm really confused why conjugating verbs seems to be so offensive for Black people.  I don't want to assume it's only because the educational system has handicapped us to be inarticulate.   I know that schools in Black neighborhoods aren’t held to the same standards as those in rich, white neighborhoods but it CAN'T be because we don't know that they are speaking incorrectly because everyone has a television and access to  . . . . Oh wait . . . I think I just partially answered my own question.  Almost every Black TV show, movie, and certainly every Black song on the radio butchers the English language beyond recognition to some sort of ghetto code so it's very likely that people just don't comprehend that they are not speaking correctly; they believe that they are using the English language in its correct usage. 

Anyone who knows me knows that I'm super Black.  I'm Blackety, Black, Black, Power-to-the-People, Raise-Your-Fist-in-Defiance, Red, Black, and Green, Black.  Not once have I ever considered my correct usage of the English language anything other than an effective tool for communication. I don't think, and maybe I'm wrong but it doesn't make sense to me, that using multi-syllabic vocabulary words makes me a sellout.  I use the correct tools when I garden.  I use the correct tools when I sew. I don't think that using a Frisbee and a can of sterno will enable to make a gourmet meal because those aren't the proper utensils. I use the correct tools when I speak and when I write so that I might be able to effectively communicate my thoughts and feelings to others.  It seems to me that the Black community is wallowing in butchering the English language and proud to do so because they . . . I'm not sure why they are so intent on slaughtering the English language, thus the formulation of my question.  Communication is the foundation for the way we interact with people and it appears to me that Black folk are content with third grade linguistics and not much more.