AfroerotiK

Erotic provocateur, racially-influenced humanist, relentless champion for the oppressed, and facilitator for social change, Scottie Lowe is the brain child, creative genius and the blood, sweat, and tears behind AfroerotiK. Intended to be part academic, part educational, and part sensual, she, yes SHE gave birth to the website to provide people of African descent a place to escape the narrow-mined, stereotypical, limiting and oft-times degrading beliefs that abound about our sexuality. No, not all Black men are driven by lust by white flesh or to create babies and walk away. No, not all Black women are promiscuous welfare queens. And as hard as it may be to believe, no, not all gay Black men are feminine, down low, or HIV positive. Scottie is putting everything on the table to discuss, debate, and dismantle stereotypes in a healthy exchange of ideas. She hopes to provide a more holistic, informed, and enlightened discussion of Black sexuality and dreams of helping couples be more open, honest, and adventurous in their relationships.

Saturday, February 28, 2015

Sensu-Soul Video


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Action: Two beautiful people are snuggled on the sofa, sharing in each other’s time, space, dreams, and love.  They vibe off each other, they complement each other, they desire each other.  What makes this scene different is that the man and woman are graced with the kisses of warm, rich hues of ebony upon their skin.  It was their ancestors who survived dehumanizing slavery so that their descendents could live and thrive and love.  And love they do, but it’s not a rushed, clich├ęd formulaic love, it’s tender, purposed, sensual, and it’s soulful.  It’s Sensu-Soul. 

Captured in beautiful high-def clarity and stunning visual imagery, rarely seen in adult offerings, Sensu-Soul is the groundbreaking, TRULY erotic feature that explores Black love, in a way that is sure to set your libido on fire.  Play the role of voyeur as you watch some of the most passionate, titillating, intimate, and romantic expression of intimacy and seduction ever witnessed.  This is the love of true Gods and Goddesses, of Kings and Queens, of brothas and sistas.  Sensu-Soul is hot, sweaty, fevered passion that can only come as the result of the most purposed, skillful seduction. 

Every Black woman will be unable to take her eyes off this video, entranced by the attention, affection, and outrageous tenderness lavished upon someone who looks just like them, with full lips and round hips and brown skin.  Every Black man will use this video to learn the techniques of seduction, romance, and how to please a woman.  People of all races will be aroused and stimulated by the pure, raw, uninhibited sensuality of two exquisite specimens of brown beauty displaying passion like artisans of sensuality.  Unlike most Black adult videos, in Sensu-Soul there is no use of the word bitch, ho, freak, ghetto, pimps, playaz, and especially not the N word.  There is no slapping, choking, gagging, no degrading facials, no booty shots, and no cheap motel room. Sensu-Soul is pure, sophisticated, Ebony erotica. 




Friday, February 27, 2015

Cheating



I was married for a brief period of time so long ago I sincerely don’t remember when I got divorced. I think it was 93 or 94 but it someone showed me my divorce decree (which I have NO idea where mine is) and it said 95 I wouldn’t be shocked.  We were married in 89 and we separated in 91.  When the actual divorce was finalized is beyond me however. 

The reason my ex-husband and I separated is because he cheated on me.  The entire marriage was unhealthy but of the four years we were together, two years were good, two were extremely horrible.   Oddly enough they weren’t consecutive years.  My ex-husband was a pathological liar (a theme that has been consistent in my partners throughout my life) and he was emotionally abusive.  If I didn’t know any better, I would say that he trained under my mother because he was the male (extremely handsome) version of her. 

I put him out the first time he cheated.  I had told him from day one, “Don’t cheat. If you feel like you want to have sex with someone else, come to me FIRST.  Let’s talk about it, let’s figure out if it’s just a physical attraction, if you are unhappy in the relationship, let’s get to the source of your feelings BEFORE you cheat.  Once you cheat, our trust is destroyed and I can never trust you again.  All I ask is that you let me leave the relationship with my dignity before you decide to cheat.”  Apparently, those instructions were too complicated for him to grasp because he cheated anyway. 

I put him out the first time I found out he cheated.  Apparently, he had been cheating with a woman almost the entire time of our relationship but that was not the woman I found out about.  There was no room for negotiation, no need for counseling at that point.  My mother was a mistress all my formative years and I saw first-hand how deceptive men could be when they were cheating.  I was willing to tolerate the emotional abuse but cheating was my hard limit.  Clearly, he had no desire to be married to me any longer because he broke my one cardinal rule. 

I wasn’t enlightened at the time.  I wasn’t at all self-aware or introspective.  I was intelligent by nature but I hadn’t explored, read, studied, or research 1/10th of the things I’ve done in the decades since I put him out.  I hadn’t examined my own issues nor had I decided that I needed to work on or heal myself from my childhood traumas.  I couldn’t even have admitted to myself that I had childhood traumas at the time because I was still of the, “My mother beat me and I turned out fine,” mindset.  I had low self-esteem but I would have told you at the time that it was high.  I was average.  I was still relaxing my hair and an unquestioning Christian.  I was not at all the evolved and conscious person I am today. 

I said all of that to say this.  I didn’t cheat on him to pay him back.  I didn’t take him back and forgive him time and time again.  I didn’t stalk the woman he cheated with and try to make her life hell.  For as average and mediocre as I was at the time, I didn’t do any of the classically dysfunctional things so many average and mediocre people do.  I had my hard and fast limit and when he crossed it, I ended things succinctly and I didn’t look back.  I found out he cheated and he packed his things that day and he was gone.  There was a brief period, or about a month and a half, more than a year after we separated that we tried to reconcile and he told me how he was going to therapy and how much he was going to be a better man for me.  Turns out he was cheating on me with two other women during the reconciliation.  I confronted him, with one of the women as soon as I found out, and I have never seen him since. 

I’ve been divorced over twenty years (I think).  Cheating and adultery is entertainment these days when it wasn’t back then.  Cheating is so commonplace these days, people don’t even see it as a hard limit, they expect cheating in the relationship.  The same people who are cheaters are offended and outraged when their partner is cheating on them.  I simply can’t be that dysfunctional.  I can’t allow that much drama in my life.  If you don’t want me, fine, move on and let me move on.  I’m not for every one, I get that.  I do, however, bust my ass to make my relationships work, even more so now than I did when I was in my 20s and stupid.  If you don’t value, cherish, appreciate, and love me enough to work at our relationship, if you find someone else more appealing, cool, go pursue a relationship with her and I’m going to make space in my life for more healing and introspection. 

If people today no only don’t set hard and fast limits about cheating, but they lie and cheat and deceive their partners, if they are having internet relationships, texting relationships, if they are having sexual relationship with other people while supposedly committed to someone how can any relationships ever be healthy?  If you can turn on the TV and see a dozen shows at any giving time about cheating how on earth are you ever going to say to yourself that you won’t cheat, let alone that you will end the relationship at the first sign of cheating?  I think cheating, revenge cheating (Is that a thing?  I’m sure there’s a name for it) and the acceptance of cheating is so commonplace that even the long lasting relationships are victims of it.  How can we ever get to a place of having healthy relationships ever again? 

I have lots of ideas of how to show people healthier models of relationships (and I’m fully acknowledging that I’ve never had a healthy relationship other than in my mind) but people are so desperate to hold on to their dysfunction they don’t want to listen.  (I feel like the word dysfunction is my most used word).  Black culture promotes cheating.  TV promotes cheating.  Music promotes cheating.  And here I am, little ole me, trying to beat the drum of emotional maturity.  I don’t think anyone hears it. 

Saturday, February 14, 2015

Your Blue Eyes Ain’t Like Mine





I need to talk to white people for a minute.  I’m here to say that you have been fooled into a false sense of superiority.  Black people have been trying to emulate your looks since we were enslaved on the plantation.  We spend countless hours, dollars, and tears trying to alter ourselves, changing the way we are supposed to look in order to look more like you.   You think that we should think, act, and look like you in order to be considered attractive.  It seems you have established yourself as the standard of beauty and everyone else is supposed to bend, meld, and conform to what you look like in order to be considered attractive.  I’m here to tell you that I’m not a slave.  I’m free from the mental chains that tell me that your features, traits, and aesthetics are better than mine.  I’m not obsessed, intrigued, or captivated by the beauty standards of white people. 

I don’t covet or crave your flowing, straight hair; I simply don’t think it’s more attractive than my own.  I love my nappy, wooly, African hair.  I don’t have to have bouncy, shiny curls in order to feel beautiful and you can rest assured that  I have less than zero need to sew someone else’s hair in my head to try to emulate what grows out of your head.  I adore the hair that God has graced me with and I don’t think it’s bad, unmanageable, or ugly.   Long hair is more attractive on women, or so you say.  I say I can rock my hair short and feel confident, beautiful, and unapologetically Black.  No, my hair is not the color of the sun, it’s the color of the dark night sky, the color of the vast and infinite universe.  I think my hair is beautiful in its natural state that is nothing like yours.  It defies gravity.  Your hair can’t do that.  I don’t need to dye, lighten, or change my hair color to feel more attractive.  My black hair, my BLACK hair is gorgeous, just the way it is. 

I don’t have to alter my appearance to try to look like you because I’m comfortable in the skin I’m in.  Your light eyes are nice, for you, but I much prefer my own deep, dark soulful eyes.   I will never buy colored contacts because I think that your blue or green eyes are more attractive.   I don’t want or need to have children who are beige, I don’t want to see their hazel eyes reflected in mine because I honor and love the Black Africans who came before me, whose blood courses through my veins, not the slave masters who raped my ancestors.  If you know nothing else in life, if there is one thing you can be assured of when you take your last breath on this earth, you can know without question that I will never try to lighten my skin to look more like you.  My melanated, brown skin is perfection in my eyes.  My full lips and wide nose may be ugly to you, you may be repulsed by my thick facial features.  That’s okay with me.  I don’t think your thin lips and pointy noses are attractive.  If I pick up a magazine or turn on the TV, the media would have me believe that I’m obese if I’m over a size 6.  That’s fine . . . for you.  For me . . . not so much.  I’m blessed with a big, round ass and thick thighs and I that fits me just fine. 

You see, there shouldn’t be just one standard of beauty in this diverse, colorful world.  So while most Black people are trying to look like you, while they feel that they are more attractive the less African they look, I’m not burdened with that unhealthy and debilitating belief.  I can celebrate myself, my features, and my own inherent African beauty and be confident and secure.  I can hold my shoulders back and my head high.  I LOVE the skin I’m in. 
Copyright 2015 AfroerotiK