Erotic provocateur, racially-influenced humanist, relentless champion for the oppressed, and facilitator for social change, Scottie Lowe is the brain child, creative genius and the blood, sweat, and tears behind AfroerotiK. Intended to be part academic, part educational, and part sensual, she, yes SHE gave birth to the website to provide people of African descent a place to escape the narrow-mined, stereotypical, limiting and oft-times degrading beliefs that abound about our sexuality. No, not all Black men are driven by lust by white flesh or to create babies and walk away. No, not all Black women are promiscuous welfare queens. And as hard as it may be to believe, no, not all gay Black men are feminine, down low, or HIV positive. Scottie is putting everything on the table to discuss, debate, and dismantle stereotypes in a healthy exchange of ideas. She hopes to provide a more holistic, informed, and enlightened discussion of Black sexuality and dreams of helping couples be more open, honest, and adventurous in their relationships.

Friday, December 20, 2013

AfroerotiK Wedding Vows

There is a true war on Black love.  There’s a concerted effort by the media moguls, by the powers that be, by those with influence over what we see, consume, and what we are entertained by to make sure there are NO images of Black men and Black women in healthy, committed, romantic, loving, supportive, intimate relationships.  They love to show you a Black person all mixed up in a swirl and proclaiming how color doesn’t matter.  Well, the fact that there are 1000’s of white couples that are happily married in the media and the only instances of Black relationships are based on the gross materialism of hip hop, involve a sports figure, or are based on some sort of “reality” that has nothing whatsoever to do with what REAL Black people have to do in order to maintain a relationship, proves that color really, really does matter.  They don’t want us to love one another.  They want us to think that white partners are better.  They want us to consider the cooning, clowning, and dysfunctional models they show us of getting married for money as real relationships.  Black LOVE is revolutionary. 

AfroerotiK has always been and will always be about the formation and support of Black LOVE first and foremost.  I created the following wedding vows, to be used freely and abundantly, for your wedding ceremony.  They can be used if you are getting married in a church, in a courthouse, in the park, or exchanging vows under a full moon with no one there to officiate but Mother Nature. It doesn’t matter if you are renewing your vows or if you are a same gender loving couple.  The essence of the words, the spirit of them celebrate the unbreakable bond of our DNA that is BLACK, unapologetically and beautifully so, and the union of souls committed to building an enduring AfroerotiK love. 

My beloved, my Divine right partner, I stand here today committing my heart, mind, body, spirit, and my eternal soul to you. 

I pledge my heart to you.  Within me beats a magnificent rhythm, synchronized by Oschun, the Goddess of Love and Abundance, that symbolizes my commitment to us.  The blood that courses through my veins is driven by a strong, steady, and constant force greater than mother Africa herself.  I give my heart freely on this day to you, to love you unconditionally, to be open and receptive, and to be vulnerable, authentic, and true in each and every moment we share together. 

I vow to keep an open mind, to continue to learn, and to occupy my thoughts with how we might be able to build a stronger, more cohesive unit together.  I will put aside my ego that tells me to look out for myself and I will think first and foremost of you and I.  United, indivisible, we possess the potential to create new worlds with our thoughts.  I will read, study, and learn so that I might be prepared for any mental battle we might encounter. 

I promise my body to you and all the pleasures it holds for you and you alone.  I pledge my fidelity without excuses and to share my most intimate self with you and only you.  I solemnly promise I will not hold back any secrets, fears, or insecurities that might hinder our communication.  I will put in effort to be romantic, to show I care, and I will not take our personal time together for granted.  And, if there ever comes a day when I find myself tempted by another’s charms, I pledge to you complete honesty and I will love you enough not to lie to, cheat on, or betray your precious heart. 

On this day, I take your heart, your hand, your love and your spirit and receive them as part of me, indistinguishable from my own identity.  I relinquish my life of solitude for one of partnership, communion, and connection.  I vow to thee a commitment greater than I’ve ever known, one worth fighting for for as long as I have breath in my lungs.  I take you as my spouse, friend, partner, and my equal in all ways.  Let our strengths complement each other and weaknesses be made strong together.  Accept me as your family and we will build a future united in LOVE.