Erotic provocateur, racially-influenced humanist, relentless champion for the oppressed, and facilitator for social change, Scottie Lowe is the brain child, creative genius and the blood, sweat, and tears behind AfroerotiK. Intended to be part academic, part educational, and part sensual, she, yes SHE gave birth to the website to provide people of African descent a place to escape the narrow-mined, stereotypical, limiting and oft-times degrading beliefs that abound about our sexuality. No, not all Black men are driven by lust by white flesh or to create babies and walk away. No, not all Black women are promiscuous welfare queens. And as hard as it may be to believe, no, not all gay Black men are feminine, down low, or HIV positive. Scottie is putting everything on the table to discuss, debate, and dismantle stereotypes in a healthy exchange of ideas. She hopes to provide a more holistic, informed, and enlightened discussion of Black sexuality and dreams of helping couples be more open, honest, and adventurous in their relationships.
Sunday, November 15, 2015
Thursday, July 23, 2015
Sunday, November 16, 2014
I've been trying desperately to explain to this generation of young women who think that objectifying themselves is empowering that feminism is NOT about being as sexually indiscriminate as men. I understand, recognize, and fully acknowledge that my generation has let them down. We have let them be raped, molested, abused, and used. We have let them grow up in a society that shames them for their sexuality and conversely celebrates men's sexist behaviors. My generation dropped the ball. We never told or taught our girls that being sexy should not be their objective. We never taught our daughters to love themselves as unique human beings and individuals, instead we told them to be beautiful to get a rich man, to sell pussy to pay the bills, to be be competitive and petty with other women. We didn't show them examples of love, of respectability so they rally against it, they reject and hate the very concept of respectability because they feel as if it invalidates their place on the planet. We didn't teach them to lift themselves up, we let them wallow in dysfunction and we turned a blind eye to it because we never addressed our hurts from the men who used us, who violated us.
We let our daughters be raised by Zane's tales of adultery and promiscuity without offering a healthier alternative. We didn't give them guidance and direction about becoming a woman and understanding their sexuality, we let them raise themselves. Now, we have a generation of women who believe that showing your ass is empowering. We have a generation of women who believe that being degraded and humiliated during sex is normal and healthy. We have a nation of young women who righteously want to strike out and rally against the oppressive forces that look to silence them and diminish them for their identity as Black women but we haven't properly armed them for the fight. We have allowed them to set their standards so low that they consider barely literate, immature criminals, thugs, and violent males as ideal partners. We've not given them anything to strive for, no standards to set for themselves so they rally, they fight, they violently defend conforming to sexist, patriarchal, and demeaning sexual objectification because that's all they know.
My generation has to take full responsibility for dropping the ball. We are to blame. We let our daughters think that having a big ass gave them value, that having a man with money was more important than having a man with integrity. We didn't teach them the difference between not being ashamed of their sexuality versus being proud of being vulgar. They think the world is defined by their flagrant sexuality. Deep inside, they want to feel valued and loved and understood for more than their sex, they have the very human need to be connected and partnered but we haven't shown them anything close to a healthy relationship let alone how to sustain one so they get offended if a man speaks to them, they are disgusted when someone suggests that all they've known to be true and right is wrong.
Assism is not Feminism but to tell that to a generation who has been raised with Beyonce flaunting her sexuality, with the degradation of women in porn available 24 hours a day before they become fully mature sexual adults, the subculture of weavism and housewives who don't do any housework but who marry one dimensional, sexist men with money has completely handicapped the Black community. We've let boys continue with their emotionally immature, sexist, oppressive, bullshit and we've let girls think that wearing seven inch heels that cost as much as rent makes them have more value.
Monday, April 08, 2013
- I will not trade, barter or sell my body for any amount of money because in doing so I know that I devalue my divine self, my sisters, and I enable men to believe that women are objects to be purchased.
- I will experience healthy instances of fear, insecurity, pain and depression without feeling as if I am less of a woman.
- I will hold my sons accountable for their wrongdoings, I will teach and guide them to be selfless, to be considerate, and I will give them consequences for their actions when they behave in ways that are self destructive or cause harm to others.
- I will raise my daughters to believe in their inherent value as human beings and not teach them to use men for money or that their appearance, skin tone, hair length, or body parts give them value.
- I will NOT entertain, engage, flirt with, or become involved with a married partner, a partner who is engaged, or anyone who is in a committed relationship with another person. I will respect myself enough to choose solitude over adultery.
- I will set healthy boundaries for myself and I will not tolerate physical, emotional, or sexual abuse from any person.
- I will not defend the actions of Black women when they are reprehensible. I am equally willing to call out the pathologies of Black women as I am Black men. I don't feel the need to defend the actions of my gender simply because we share the same chromosomal makeup.
- I will enter into each new relationship expecting the best. I will come to every relationship with an open mind and an open heart.
- I will express my concerns and feelings with my partner without projecting negativity. I will take the time to listen carefully without getting defensive. I will take the time to collect my thoughts and speak from a place of calmness before I express my concerns. I will make sure I’m not arguing just to be right and that my concerns are valid.
- I will not judge men on the size of their wallets, the size of their penis, their car, or their job. I will judge men based on their integrity, their character, their compassion, their vision, their progressiveness. While I look for certain beliefs systems to be the same, I'm open minded enough to know the difference between differing lifestyle choices and differing core values.