“Females can be ___________,”

When a woman says, “Females can be ___________,” and the blank is filled in with some sort of negative comment that indicates that women tend to be naturally backstabbing, disloyal, manipulative, deceptive, devious, bitchy, etc., etc., etc., that is one of the most blatant forms of self-hatred possible.  To assert that women are somehow genetically prone to being inherently evil, bad, and/or wrong, WHEN IN FACT YOU ARE A WOMAN YOURSELF, is essentially saying that you are inherently those negative traits, that you are not capable of behaviors that are any better than those stank behaviors.

Black culture has handicapped young Black women.  Having been fed nothing but constant media images that represent Black women as constantly fighting, constantly competing for men, constantly needing to prove their worth with their clothes and shoes and fake hair, Black women have no concept of what it means to be a woman.  To be a “female” is to be some negative, reprehensible thing.  We have not taught Black women how to love themselves, let alone love their sistas as friends.   We have not taught them how to be friends let alone how to honor their friendships.   We have not shown them how to form bonds and unions with other women that are truly loving because we teach girls to be self-centered and narcissistic.

People think that self-hatred means literally saying, “I hate myself,” or at the very least saying, “I think I’m ugly.”   They don’t grasp that disliking the things that are inherent in you, natural to you, your core identity is what self-hatred really means.  Conversely, people also are delusionally convinced that being egotistical and making proclamations of, “I love myself,” is a sign of self-love.   Self-love is, in actuality, loving the skin you are in, being self-aware and not needing to conform to anyone else’s definition or standard. 

The inferiority complex that has been bred into Africans born in AmeriKKKa is the very definition of self-hatred. We hate our natural, nappy hair, we think it’s unmanageable, ugly, bad, and wrong.  We hate our natural features.  Our own Black hair isn’t good enough, we need blond hair, we need blue contacts, we need thin lips and light skin and a little tiny nose because our natural black skin is ugly, our natural big lips and noses are grotesque.  And extending that out, when women say “Females can be . . . ,” their subconscious mind says, “Yeah, females are all those bad things.  Hey!  You’re a female so, VOILA’, you are those things as well.”   That is the very definition of self-hatred.

Ladies, let’s start affirming that females are strong, resilient, that we are supportive and nurturing, and that we are capable of boundless, unconditional love.  More importantly, let’s strive to be those traits ourselves; let’s make it our mission to walk in integrity, let’s aspire to not do anything for which we have to apologize.  Let’s be amazing women so that we might attract amazing women into our lives. 

Love Me Tender

Simplicity

Peace and Plenty

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AfroerotiK Stands for Black Excellence

I want nothing more than the evolution of my people.  I want us to walk proud and strong and confident, knowing our history and not being ashamed of it.  I want us to be the best.  I want us to be articulate and informed, knowledgeable and wise.  I want us to be seekers of knowledge and masters of education.  I see absolutely nothing wrong with being mathematicians, scientists, physicists, physicians, even politicians if we have the best interests of our community at heart.  But not everyone is meant to be a scholar so I want us to strive for excellence in whatever it is we do as long as it is aligned with our collective good.  I want us to create great works of art and music and theater that will stand the test of time.  I want us, as a people, to be grand alchemists and metaphysicians, relinquishing the suffocating chokehold that Western religion has around our necks.  I want us be physically strong, rejecting the poison we put in our bodies and vigorously pursuing a sound body and mind.  I want us to embrace the intellect we once possessed that allowed us to be the creators of all the humanities and sciences, that built pyramids and mapped the stars with greater accuracy than modern man can comprehend.  I want each individual of African descent throughout the Diaspora to know their special talent, what purpose they were born to fulfill, and to exploit it to the benefit of themselves, their families, our community and humanity. 

I desperately want us to be healed from our emotional, psychological, and mental wounds.  I want us to heal from our personal abuses and the collective traumas that were inflicted upon our innocence as children and our ancestors.  I want us to repair our broken spirits and fix the hurt we try to suppress.  I want our relationships to be healed, our communication to be clear.  I wish with all my heart for us to embrace honesty, integrity, and responsibility not because they are traits inherent to white people, rather they are the traits of healthy individuals.  I want us to put aside Eurocentric standards and rules and embrace what is holistic and pure and true.  I want us to evolve and grow and mature collectively; I do not want us to be happy remaining stagnant and complacent and dysfunctional.  We must rage against the machine of mediocrity to ascend to our true place of greatness.   I need for us to fight back against racism, oppression, bigotry, and the fallacy of white supremacy, to be armed intellectually to fight the battle against those who do not see our inherent value as human beings.  I want us to prosper financially, to provide for our families and to never know need or lack, but not to be enslaved to capitalism and greed and gross materialism. 

If we were to be citizens of the world, accepting and respecting other cultures but loving our own the most, nothing would make me happier.  Open-minded, non-judgmental, and progressive are characteristic I wish we all possessed as a race.  I desperately want us to love the skin we are in.  I want us to love our natural hair, our full features, our bodies whatever shape they are in, and the deep, dark, melanated skin from whence we all originated.    I think most of all I want us to release the shackles of shame that surround our sexuality so that we might know true freedom.  I want us to embrace and celebrate our sensuality, not be driven by our lusts.  I want us to explore pleasure without boundaries but not be a slave to it.  I want us to redefine our identities, to become more than victims of our circumstances but creators of a new paradigm.  AfroerotiK stands for the passage from dark to light, the transformation from stagnant to vibrant. 

The Black Woman’s Manifesto for the New Millennium

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