Erotic provocateur, racially-influenced humanist, relentless champion for the oppressed, and facilitator for social change, Scottie Lowe is the brain child, creative genius and the blood, sweat, and tears behind AfroerotiK. Intended to be part academic, part educational, and part sensual, she, yes SHE gave birth to the website to provide people of African descent a place to escape the narrow-mined, stereotypical, limiting and oft-times degrading beliefs that abound about our sexuality. No, not all Black men are driven by lust by white flesh or to create babies and walk away. No, not all Black women are promiscuous welfare queens. And as hard as it may be to believe, no, not all gay Black men are feminine, down low, or HIV positive. Scottie is putting everything on the table to discuss, debate, and dismantle stereotypes in a healthy exchange of ideas. She hopes to provide a more holistic, informed, and enlightened discussion of Black sexuality and dreams of helping couples be more open, honest, and adventurous in their relationships.
Wednesday, August 26, 2015
Black culture has handicapped young Black women. Having been fed nothing but constant media images that represent Black women as constantly fighting, constantly competing for men, constantly needing to prove their worth with their clothes and shoes and fake hair, Black women have no concept of what it means to be a woman. To be a “female” is to be some negative, reprehensible thing. We have not taught Black women how to love themselves, let alone love their sistas as friends. We have not taught them how to be friends let alone how to honor their friendships. We have not shown them how to form bonds and unions with other women that are truly loving because we teach girls to be self-centered and narcissistic.
People think that self-hatred means literally saying, “I hate myself,” or at the very least saying, “I think I’m ugly.” They don’t grasp that disliking the things that are inherent in you, natural to you, your core identity is what self-hatred really means. Conversely, people also are delusionally convinced that being egotistical and making proclamations of, “I love myself,” is a sign of self-love. Self-love is, in actuality, loving the skin you are in, being self-aware and not needing to conform to anyone else’s definition or standard.
The inferiority complex that has been bred into Africans born in AmeriKKKa is the very definition of self-hatred. We hate our natural, nappy hair, we think it’s unmanageable, ugly, bad, and wrong. We hate our natural features. Our own Black hair isn’t good enough, we need blond hair, we need blue contacts, we need thin lips and light skin and a little tiny nose because our natural black skin is ugly, our natural big lips and noses are grotesque. And extending that out, when women say “Females can be . . . ,” their subconscious mind says, “Yeah, females are all those bad things. Hey! You’re a female so, VOILA’, you are those things as well.” That is the very definition of self-hatred.
Ladies, let’s start affirming that females are strong, resilient, that we are supportive and nurturing, and that we are capable of boundless, unconditional love. More importantly, let’s strive to be those traits ourselves; let’s make it our mission to walk in integrity, let’s aspire to not do anything for which we have to apologize. Let’s be amazing women so that we might attract amazing women into our lives.
Wednesday, August 05, 2015
Friday, October 31, 2014
Monday, October 20, 2014
Monday, April 08, 2013
- I will not trade, barter or sell my body for any amount of money because in doing so I know that I devalue my divine self, my sisters, and I enable men to believe that women are objects to be purchased.
- I will experience healthy instances of fear, insecurity, pain and depression without feeling as if I am less of a woman.
- I will hold my sons accountable for their wrongdoings, I will teach and guide them to be selfless, to be considerate, and I will give them consequences for their actions when they behave in ways that are self destructive or cause harm to others.
- I will raise my daughters to believe in their inherent value as human beings and not teach them to use men for money or that their appearance, skin tone, hair length, or body parts give them value.
- I will NOT entertain, engage, flirt with, or become involved with a married partner, a partner who is engaged, or anyone who is in a committed relationship with another person. I will respect myself enough to choose solitude over adultery.
- I will set healthy boundaries for myself and I will not tolerate physical, emotional, or sexual abuse from any person.
- I will not defend the actions of Black women when they are reprehensible. I am equally willing to call out the pathologies of Black women as I am Black men. I don't feel the need to defend the actions of my gender simply because we share the same chromosomal makeup.
- I will enter into each new relationship expecting the best. I will come to every relationship with an open mind and an open heart.
- I will express my concerns and feelings with my partner without projecting negativity. I will take the time to listen carefully without getting defensive. I will take the time to collect my thoughts and speak from a place of calmness before I express my concerns. I will make sure I’m not arguing just to be right and that my concerns are valid.
- I will not judge men on the size of their wallets, the size of their penis, their car, or their job. I will judge men based on their integrity, their character, their compassion, their vision, their progressiveness. While I look for certain beliefs systems to be the same, I'm open minded enough to know the difference between differing lifestyle choices and differing core values.