Apparently, some people are under
the impression that AfroerotiK is a porn blog and thus should be limited to
“freaky stuff” and not social commentary or discussion of socio-political
issues. Let me explain a few things. First and foremost, AfroerotiK is a brand,
not a blog. It is a complex,
sophisticated, unapologetic resource/outlet where people of African descent can
come for validation of our unique identity and culture, for refuge from the
daily beat down of racism that we must endure, a place to come for education,
enlightenment, and most importantly, for sexual arousal. It is
about our role in a racist society that demeans us, degrades us, and murders
with impunity us without even the tiniest consideration for our humanity. AfroerotiK’s intent is to explore all facets
of Black culture, not just our sexuality, with the hopes that understanding our
history, our culture, how we are perceived in the world, and how all of these
things work towards how we perceive ourselves has much larger implication of
how we function in our intimate relationships.
Only addressing sexuality without all the contributing factors that have
led to the formation of our collective consciousness and identities would be an
exercise in futility.
AfroerotiK produces erotica, not
pornography. Just because people don’t
know the difference between porn and erotica does not make them the same. Moreover, it does not make AfroerotiK
pornographic in any way, shape or form. Erotica
is any artistic work that deals with a sexually arousing subject matter. The key word is artistic. I get that many
people don’t understand the concept of what artistic means because creativity
and art died a painful, slow, and tragic death many years ago. Erotica does not
mean selfies taken with your cell phone.
That does not mean a picture taken of a woman’s labia, buttocks,
breasts, anus, clitoris, and/or cervix in disgustingly close up range. It does not mean a photographer merely taking
pictures of two people having sex. Erotica
does not mean pictures of very attractive women in sexually suggestive
poses. (That’s objectification but
that’s another lesson for another day). Erotica
is art that incorporates the construction of images that will leave you feeling
the connection between the participants. AfroerotiK images are not about just
looking at naked people engaged in a sex act but it’s a beacon of eroticism and
sensuality that is evolved from porn, it’s exactly they want I want to feel in
the arms of my lover.
In the past decade and a half,
Black erotic stories have become mainstream reading, on everyone’s bookshelf
and nightstand. Unfortunately, it’s
termed literature but it’s nothing even close.
Contrary to popular belief, erotica is NOT a barely-literate short story
with the words dick, fuck, suck, and pussy in it written at a fourth grade
level about a pathetically stereotypical and urban storyline. That’s not art, that’s commercially produced
crap whose sole purpose is to keep the Black masses anesthetized and complacent
with stupidity. We are so desperate to
see ourselves depicted in our own media that we’ve lowered the standards of
even basic literacy. We are reading
tales of baby mams and jail house visits and adultery and getting aroused
because they use scintillating words, never understanding that those unhealthy
messages are being imprinted on our subconscious minds with our arousal. “They” want us to read stories that make
sure us glorify rappers and basketball players and drug dealers because they
want to keep us oppressed and seeking unattainable and unhealthy goals. Those stories are pornography in written form,
no different than the billions of videos available online to that show us in
the worst possible light. Just as we are more than the sum of our bodies
parts we are more than the same tired and ghetto story.
AfroerotiK’s primary product, if
you will, is erotic stories. Many people don’t know that. There are over 300
erotic stories, “poetic” pieces, scripts, and erotic shorts in the AfroerotiK
library. With very few exceptions, and
there are some that do not, they provide a lesson, a model of healthy behavior,
they paint a picture of sensuality and passion and love (yeah, that’s a bad
word these days) for Black folks to see, absorb, learn, discuss, and enjoy. They are pieces of literature. They are grammatically correct, they utilize
vocabulary that is above a fourth grade level, and they show all facets of
Black life, not just the urban/ghetto clichés.
Because they use correct English does not mean that they are less
authentically Black however. They tell
complex stories of the various tapestries of Black life without ever ascribing
to a notion that says that our lives and our identities have less value if we
aren’t chasing the capitalist dreams of our oppressor. They are stories of unapologetic
blackness, meaning there is far more than just a simple plot with no real
substance that leads to vanilla sex, they are celebrations of our struggles and
our triumphs as people of color in a world not created for us.
There are, however, some AfroerotiK
shorts that were written expressly to tease and tempt people of other races to
explore my work further. At face value,
they might seem like just crass and pornographic bits of a story but they were
crafted specifically to appeal to the triggers of those who lust after black
sexuality in private but who have never taken the opportunity to understand
that we are more than a race of sexual savages and to be exposed to facet of
our lives that they would not see in porn or reality shows. There is a method to my madness. Just as a fisherman uses bait to hook the big
fish, I lure people of other ethnicities to my work by enticing them with the
keywords that arouse them and then I hit them with unique stories, often
times that don’t even include them, and I keep them in an aroused state so that
they might see our humanity, that their brains might be reprogrammed to view us
as more than objects. It’s taking what
the powers that be do and flipping the script and using the technique to
educate those who would only see us as a fetish. Pretty ingenious, right?
I am very proud of the fact that
before I started AfroerotiK in 2004, there were NO Black erotic images on the
net and now Black erotica is a photographic genre. It’s a small one, but it exists. There did exist several collections of artistic
nudes before AfroerotiK, a different genre altogether that is comprised of
models in extreme and contrived poses that highlight their nude bodies but not
really a representation of a sexual act.
And, of course, there was porn, with nothing but oiled booties of Black
women and models straight from the hood looking to get paid for having sex. Today, artists and photographers have stepped
up to the plate and started creating breathtaking images of Black couples
engaged in stimulating scenarios.
Look for emotion in every
AfroerotiK image you see. Look for
connection, intimacy, and passion.
AfroerotiK set the bar for Black erotica and it is high. All AfroerotiK images are of couples. It was precisely because there were no Black
erotic images that I had to start creating my own. The goal of every AfroerotiK image is for the
viewer to feel as if they opened the door and caught two people in the middle
of intense love-making. Models were
selected and used to represent all facets of Black America, not just the ones
with the least melanin and the most European standards of beauty. Each shot was carefully thought out in terms
of composition, lighting, angle, framing, background and each shot is artistic,
not just clicking away trying to catch a good shot. While editing is done on the images, it’s not
to erase imperfections, because real women with stretch marks and cellulite are
deserving of pleasure as much as the size 8 surgically-enhanced and sculpted
black Barbies are. Black men with
average sized genitalia should be able to see themselves represented as well
and I made sure to choose male models based on their cooperativeness, not penis
size. AfroerotiK is for everyone. Young, old, big, small, light, dark,
everybody gets a shot at seeing themselves as sensual.
AfroerotiK images depict every
sexual orientation. It has from day one,
it will continue to do so unapologetically until the day it is no longer in
existence. Every single person of
African descent deserves to see themselves in a healthy, erotic light. The LGBT community is as deserving of seeing
themselves in beautiful images as heterosexuals are. More so in fact because so many degrading and
uninformed opinions exist about any form of sexuality that isn’t
normative. (Shout out to the trans
community. I haven’t gotten the
opportunity to shoot any images of you yet but they are coming, I promise. It’s a priority.) That offends some people. I’m perfectly fine with that. I’m not going to cater or pander to those who
are too immature to comprehend that sexuality is complex and flexible and not
one narrow, oppressive definition that is based on patriarchy, misogyny, and
sexism. The gay community deserves to
have a voice in our liberation and they deserve to be showcased as sensual,
beautiful, and erotic, not ghetto thugs, fetishes, or objects of dysfunctional
down low lust.
AfroerotiK is the very definition
of old-school feminist. Old-school
feminism is vastly different than this new wave of feminism that is about
conforming to and complying with sexist definitions of what makes a woman
attractive and calling it empowering.
You will not see women dressed up in constricting, uncomfortable
lingerie and outrageously high heels in order to appeal to men’s definition of
attractiveness. You will not see women overly-made
up either. Every woman wants to feel
attractive and we use the tools available to us to do that. That includes makeup. But we cannot allow ourselves to be defined by
perfection or standards that are impossible if not impractical to achieve. Your hair doesn’t have to be done every
minute of every day in order for you to feel sexy and desirable. Your fingernails and toenails don’t have to
have matching polish in order for you to have value as a woman. And you don’t have to hide, pretend, deny, or
regret your choices in the bedroom or your beautiful imperfections.
TRUE empowerment does not mean
that you jump in and out of bed with anyone, not respecting that there are very
real and often times dire consequences to having multiple partners. Empowerment means you make informed,
intelligent, conscious choices in your partners that are not based on
manipulation, getting something in exchange for sex, cheating, lying, or having
sex with someone without even knowing anything other than their Instagram
name. AfroerotiK feminism is not just
for women. AfroerotiK wants to insure
that Black men are evolving, seeing women as complex human being, not just
holes to fuck. AfroerotiK is providing a
framework where brothas evolve emotionally and sexually to honor relationships,
not just sex. Men can be feminists; because
feminist doesn’t mean feminine. Black
men need to see women as complements, not adversaries.
Women have been led to believe
that ANYTHING a woman does is empowering, even if and especially if it’s
degrading to herself. In AfroerotiK
artforms, you will never see a Black woman being called a bitch, a ho, a slut,
or any other degrading name. You will
never see a Black woman depicted being slapped, choked, spit on, or otherwise
used by men for their sole pleasure.
Yes, I understand completely that many sistas enjoy being called
degrading names, that they experience pain as pleasure, and they have no issue
with being spit on or used by men, multiple men in fact. I also get that there is a growing movement
for Black women to “own” their abuse by choosing to be sexually submissive to
men as a way of controlling the fact that we have been raped, molested, and
beaten by the men in our lives at every stage in our development. Luckily for them, there are bajillions of
outlets for them to find arousal on the net.
AfroerotiK is not one of those places however.
OK, you say, but you have read
plenty of AfroerotiK stories in which white people were called degrading names,
where they were beaten and slapped and choked.
Very true. The difference being,
white people have 10 billion other outlets where they can find images of themselves
as being virtuous, being desired, being depicted as the most attractive people
on the planet. Black people don’t. We only have AfroerotiK where I work
diligently to create images of us that make us the heroes, that make us the
morally superior and advanced, like they’ve seen themselves depicted for 1000s
of years. AfroerotiK is not now, has
never been, will never be for white people to see themselves in a healthy,
erotic light. The purpose of
AfroerotiK’s interracial stories is for white people to address race and racism
in ways that they’ve never done before.
It’s to show them that we are not things for them to use to get their jungle fever fix. Every
interracial story I write exposes white people to our complexity and our humanity. They may be lured to my stories because of
their interracial fetish but they are going to leave having digested much more
than that.
AfroerotiK was created for Black
women, like me, who want to be valued, treasured, seduced, romanced, and
loved. AfroerotiK is for women who don’t
want to be objects but rather seen as and treated like real human beings with multifaceted
needs and desires. AfroerotiK is
certainly not softcore however. It is
for women who want commitment, who want equal partners who are willing to
communicate and build based on a desire to see their relationships flourish and
grow and evolve. Basically, I started
AfroerotiK because there was nothing that spoke to me as an African-centered,
highly-educated, multi-dimensional woman.
I wanted to see nappy women being sexual, I NEEDED to see older women
taking control of their sexuality and not being led by shame or guilt that we
grew up on. I wanted to see women who
weren’t conforming to European standards of beauty and who weren’t attracted to
the pathetic archetype of Black men that is ever-present that is little more
than a dog standing upright. AfroerotiK
explores every consensual fantasy possible, some taboo, some extreme, all
intense and all with the express purpose of depicting our collective
enlightenment through our sensuality. We
have embraced dysfunction, we have internalized our own oppression. We rationalize that our unhealthy behaviors
are inherent to us, not borne of a system of racism. Look for the lesson in every story; look for
black history, examination of our roles in larger society, look for the
evolution of the characters from flawed but healthy to slightly less flawed and
infinitely sexy.
Sexuality is not bad, dirty,
shameful or wrong. Not every expression
of our sexuality is healthy however.
That message, unfortunately, has been lost amidst the din and the noise
of validating patriarchy, under this new guise of feminism masquerading as
empowerment. Rather than women making
smarter, more informed choices about their sexuality, their partners and
practices, and their behaviors, they have been programmed to believe that
equality is to be found replicating men’s unhealthy, dysfunctional, detrimental
sexual patterns. Logic and reason are
things of the past. They have been
replaced with arrogance and egotism at the mere mention that some of women’s behaviors
are simply not wise. Yes, women have a
right to walk naked down the street if they want. You also have a right to leave your car
running with the doors unlocked too but that’s just not a smart choice. We have failed to teach young women that they
can make intelligent, informed choices, and while they might not be as fun as
say, going to a college party and getting drunk off your ass and asking seven
fraternity brothas to get you home safely because you lost your shirt in the
wet t-shirt contest, they take into consideration that expecting a lion not to
eat a baby gazelle left alone is not the smartest logic either. Yessss, I get it. If you don’t wear shorts that expose 3/4ths
of your ass cheeks, you are going to spontaneously combust into flames
because any time the temperature is over 60 degrees wearing anything more than
that is oppressive. I understand.
What I’d like young women to understand is that showing off every bump
and curve doesn’t make you sexier, it merely advertises that you are insecure
with the person on the inside so you have no choice but to highlight the
packaging with the false hopes that some man will pick you above all the other
women who have squeezed into impossibly small outfits.
AfroerotiK women know that being
sexy emanates from the inside and that it one’s attitude, that one’s integrity,
one’s character and intellect is what makes them inherently attractive, not
one’s hair, or the cost of one’s purse, and not the contest to see who can wear
the least, show off the most, and who can pout their lips and gyrate like a
porn star. So while you are obsessing
over your eyebrows being on fleek (which is not a real word and it’s indicative
of a community obsessed with embracing ghetto mindsets as the norm) and your
dress being short enough to leave bodily fluids on your chair when you sit
down, AfroerotiK women are confident in the fact that they don’t have to be
attractive to every single man under the sun in order to have value and worth
in this world. AfroerotiK women are
comfortable with the fact that they can dress in appealing clothing but that it
doesn’t have to conform to the teeny, tiny, itsy, bitsy, teensie, weensie
definition of what men think is hot in order for them to feel attractive. That is not empowering. That is not feminism. That is conforming to patriarchy! AfroerotiK women don’t feel a need to be sexy
to all of society, just their partner with whom they have mutual love and
respect. The key word being mutual, with
love being the cherry on top the sundae.
AfroerotiK women understand that using
men is unhealthy. You cannot be upset
that men are using you, treating you like an object and then turn around and
use them and think that’s empowering.
It’s wrong regardless of gender. I know, that’s crazy, right? Lying, manipulation, and cheating are wrong
regardless of whether the person has a penis or a vagina! Who knew?
Oh, emotionally mature people do.
AfroerotiK people do.
Getting money for your sexuality
is not empowering. It is participating
in the objectification of women. It’s reinforcing and validating to men that
women are things to be bought and sold by men to be used and traded for a
better model at their immature whim. You
devalue ALL women when you decide that your body has a price tag. Oh dear God, I get that some woman’s studies
professor told you that sex work was empowering and now, that is the rule,
anyone who says anything different is trying to oppress you and slut shame you
and they are evil and sexist. Yes, yes,
I get it. I’ve been told to have two
seats and shut the fuck up and I’ve been called everything but a child of God
for suggesting that there is a better way than selling your body to some dude
who does not give a half a fat fuck about you as a person and who only sees you
as a hole to pump his sperm.
If the man with whom you share
your body is not going to fix you chicken soup when you are sick, if he’s not
going to calm your fears with words of encouragement when you are scared, if
he’s not going to love and support you and your growth as a human being for the
UNIQUE individual you are, not just your pussy or ass or weave or your
Loubutins, but for who you are and what you bring to the table, sweetness,
that’s not empowering. Empowerment comes
from being selective with your partners and holding them to high standards,
exacting standards that you demand from a partner, not handing out coochie to
any Tom, Dick, or Harry every time you feel a tingle between your legs or when
you need your car note paid. Demand
honesty. Demand fidelity. Demand respect and all the things you need in
a relationship from whomever gets your juicy delight. That is empowering! Annnnnnnnnnnd queue the respectability
politics police to scream that women can have casual sex all they want with
anyone they want just to fill their sexual needs and that sex doesn’t have to
be about antiquated love and romance. Right,
you sure can. But there are consequences
to replicating men’s unhealthy behaviors and they ain’t pretty, trust me on
that.
Take it from someone older and
wiser and with many more years of experience and scar tissue on my heart. Learn
from my mistakes. Your refusal to understand that communication, intimacy,
respect, and cooperation should be at the foundation of your choices in
partners, not who has the most money, or who is the most attractive, or who has
the biggest dick, or even who is available to sex you up when you are in the
mood is going to bite you in the ass when you get older. I wouldn’t even be telling you this if I
didn’t love young Black women and want the best for you all. I don’t want you to end up alone, with your
expensive things you’ve purchased from selling your body and no one to share
them with because you haven’t been taught how to form a relationship, all
you’ve been taught to do is lie, cheat, manipulate, and barter your body to the
highest seller. You’ve never been taught
the skills necessary to form a healthy relationship so your plan, to just sell
it when you’re young and stop when you’re 30 or so and settle down and get
married, that ain’t going to work.
Why? Because men aren’t going to
want a woman to settle down with when you’ve been reinforcing and participating
in them buying women like convenience store fuck holes. I get that 10,000 YouTube videos say
differently. I get that the overwhelming
belief is that anything a woman does with her body is empowering. You don’t have to believe me, agree with me,
or change your mind; you don’t have to waste your time or mine telling me how
ignorant I am. I’m working to provide a
model of healthy relationships for people of African descent, giving our
pathologies, our issues, and our challenges in a racist society. Go on believing that degrading yourself is
empowering if you so choose. Fine with
me.
AfroerotiK is not just for women
however. I have been passionate and
relentless in holding a mirror up to Black men’s collective unhealthy behaviors
and trying to provide them a model that is healthier than the one-dimensional
hyper-masculine caricature that they have become. I’m educating men to see women as complete
beings, not objects. I’m educating men
to be more honest with themselves and their partners so they don’t falsely
believe that some women are for marrying and some are for sexing. I work hard
trying to educate men and women, to liberate them from absurd ideas about
sexuality that should have been left behind in the 1800s. I’m ever amazed at how many people believe
such silly concepts about sex when information is abundant. It’s slow, arduous, tedious work because
women are intent on countering every positive thing I teach men with their
negative behaviors that reinforce to men that all men need to bring to the
table is a wallet and a dick. But with
every AfroerotiK story, I expose men to a model of what it is to be an
empowered man, making mature, intelligent, informed decisions about birth
control, about the emotional bond that IS formed with the connection of two
bodies, and about their confidence in their manhood has nothing to do with how
they receive pleasure.
AfroerotiK is not just stories or
photography. Well, AfroerotiK used to be
a website, owned and solely operated by me.
I’ve had to shut down two different versions of the website: the first
because it was hacked and destroyed by someone who didn’t want me spreading my
messages of erotic enlightenment to the Black masses. I’ve had more AfroerotiK social platforms
shut down than I can count. I think
there have been three Facebook groups shut down alone. But I keep coming back and I won’t stop until
I accomplish my mission of providing a framework for people of African descent
to use in helping them construct healthier relationships. The ability of a race to survive depends upon
our intimate relationships: without ourselves, with our partners, with our
families and communities, and with the people who would prefer to see our
demise. The second version of the
AfroerotiK website had to be shut down because it was costing me more than I
was making. Never fear, AfroerotiK is
not going anywhere. It’s going to
continue to grow and evolve. I fully
intend for my future book, In Loving Color, to have a great impact and scope
than 50 Shades of (poorly written) Gray.
AfroerotiK will continue to be founded on breathtaking images and
compelling stories and it will also shares podcasts, events, music, and . . .
VIDEO. That’s right. I have plans for an extensive video venture
that showcases our beauty and complexity.
All the steps I’ve made on my
journey, all the perfectly-guided missteps, still have me headed to creating a
shift in consciousness for me people that allows us to be more holistic,
self-aware, and enlightened. Can’t
nobody hold me down.
Copyright 2016 AfroerotiK All rights reserved
