Defining AfroerotiK

Apparently, some people are under the impression that AfroerotiK is a porn blog and thus should be limited to “freaky stuff” and not social commentary or discussion of socio-political issues.  Let me explain a few things.  First and foremost, AfroerotiK is a brand, not a blog.  It is a complex, sophisticated, unapologetic resource/outlet where people of African descent can come for validation of our unique identity and culture, for refuge from the daily beat down of racism that we must endure, a place to come for education, enlightenment, and most importantly, for sexual arousal.   It is about our role in a racist society that demeans us, degrades us, and murders with impunity us without even the tiniest consideration for our humanity.  AfroerotiK’s intent is to explore all facets of Black culture, not just our sexuality, with the hopes that understanding our history, our culture, how we are perceived in the world, and how all of these things work towards how we perceive ourselves has much larger implication of how we function in our intimate relationships.  Only addressing sexuality without all the contributing factors that have led to the formation of our collective consciousness and identities would be an exercise in futility. 

AfroerotiK produces erotica, not pornography.  Just because people don’t know the difference between porn and erotica does not make them the same.  Moreover, it does not make AfroerotiK pornographic in any way, shape or form.  Erotica is any artistic work that deals with a sexually arousing subject matter.  The key word is artistic. I get that many people don’t understand the concept of what artistic means because creativity and art died a painful, slow, and tragic death many years ago. Erotica does not mean selfies taken with your cell phone.  That does not mean a picture taken of a woman’s labia, buttocks, breasts, anus, clitoris, and/or cervix in disgustingly close up range.  It does not mean a photographer merely taking pictures of two people having sex.  Erotica does not mean pictures of very attractive women in sexually suggestive poses.  (That’s objectification but that’s another lesson for another day).  Erotica is art that incorporates the construction of images that will leave you feeling the connection between the participants. AfroerotiK images are not about just looking at naked people engaged in a sex act but it’s a beacon of eroticism and sensuality that is evolved from porn, it’s exactly they want I want to feel in the arms of my lover. 

In the past decade and a half, Black erotic stories have become mainstream reading, on everyone’s bookshelf and nightstand.  Unfortunately, it’s termed literature but it’s nothing even close.  Contrary to popular belief, erotica is NOT a barely-literate short story with the words dick, fuck, suck, and pussy in it written at a fourth grade level about a pathetically stereotypical and urban storyline.  That’s not art, that’s commercially produced crap whose sole purpose is to keep the Black masses anesthetized and complacent with stupidity.  We are so desperate to see ourselves depicted in our own media that we’ve lowered the standards of even basic literacy.  We are reading tales of baby mams and jail house visits and adultery and getting aroused because they use scintillating words, never understanding that those unhealthy messages are being imprinted on our subconscious minds with our arousal.  “They” want us to read stories that make sure us glorify rappers and basketball players and drug dealers because they want to keep us oppressed and seeking unattainable and unhealthy goals.  Those stories are pornography in written form, no different than the billions of videos available online to that show us in the worst possible light.   Just as we are more than the sum of our bodies parts we are more than the same tired and ghetto story. 

                                                                                      

AfroerotiK’s primary product, if you will, is erotic stories. Many people don’t know that. There are over 300 erotic stories, “poetic” pieces, scripts, and erotic shorts in the AfroerotiK library.  With very few exceptions, and there are some that do not, they provide a lesson, a model of healthy behavior, they paint a picture of sensuality and passion and love (yeah, that’s a bad word these days) for Black folks to see, absorb, learn, discuss, and enjoy.  They are pieces of literature.  They are grammatically correct, they utilize vocabulary that is above a fourth grade level, and they show all facets of Black life, not just the urban/ghetto clichés.  Because they use correct English does not mean that they are less authentically Black however.  They tell complex stories of the various tapestries of Black life without ever ascribing to a notion that says that our lives and our identities have less value if we aren’t chasing the capitalist dreams of our oppressor.  They are stories of unapologetic blackness, meaning there is far more than just a simple plot with no real substance that leads to vanilla sex, they are celebrations of our struggles and our triumphs as people of color in a world not created for us. 

There are, however, some AfroerotiK shorts that were written expressly to tease and tempt people of other races to explore my work further.  At face value, they might seem like just crass and pornographic bits of a story but they were crafted specifically to appeal to the triggers of those who lust after black sexuality in private but who have never taken the opportunity to understand that we are more than a race of sexual savages and to be exposed to facet of our lives that they would not see in porn or reality shows.  There is a method to my madness.  Just as a fisherman uses bait to hook the big fish, I lure people of other ethnicities to my work by enticing them with the keywords that arouse them and then I hit them with unique stories, often times that don’t even include them, and I keep them in an aroused state so that they might see our humanity, that their brains might be reprogrammed to view us as more than objects.  It’s taking what the powers that be do and flipping the script and using the technique to educate those who would only see us as a fetish.  Pretty ingenious, right? 

I am very proud of the fact that before I started AfroerotiK in 2004, there were NO Black erotic images on the net and now Black erotica is a photographic genre.  It’s a small one, but it exists.  There did exist several collections of artistic nudes before AfroerotiK, a different genre altogether that is comprised of models in extreme and contrived poses that highlight their nude bodies but not really a representation of a sexual act.  And, of course, there was porn, with nothing but oiled booties of Black women and models straight from the hood looking to get paid for having sex.  Today, artists and photographers have stepped up to the plate and started creating breathtaking images of Black couples engaged in stimulating scenarios. 

Look for emotion in every AfroerotiK image you see.  Look for connection, intimacy, and passion.  AfroerotiK set the bar for Black erotica and it is high.  All AfroerotiK images are of couples.  It was precisely because there were no Black erotic images that I had to start creating my own.  The goal of every AfroerotiK image is for the viewer to feel as if they opened the door and caught two people in the middle of intense love-making.  Models were selected and used to represent all facets of Black America, not just the ones with the least melanin and the most European standards of beauty.  Each shot was carefully thought out in terms of composition, lighting, angle, framing, background and each shot is artistic, not just clicking away trying to catch a good shot.  While editing is done on the images, it’s not to erase imperfections, because real women with stretch marks and cellulite are deserving of pleasure as much as the size 8 surgically-enhanced and sculpted black Barbies are.  Black men with average sized genitalia should be able to see themselves represented as well and I made sure to choose male models based on their cooperativeness, not penis size.  AfroerotiK is for everyone.   Young, old, big, small, light, dark, everybody gets a shot at seeing themselves as sensual. 

AfroerotiK images depict every sexual orientation.  It has from day one, it will continue to do so unapologetically until the day it is no longer in existence.  Every single person of African descent deserves to see themselves in a healthy, erotic light.  The LGBT community is as deserving of seeing themselves in beautiful images as heterosexuals are.  More so in fact because so many degrading and uninformed opinions exist about any form of sexuality that isn’t normative.  (Shout out to the trans community.  I haven’t gotten the opportunity to shoot any images of you yet but they are coming, I promise.  It’s a priority.)  That offends some people.  I’m perfectly fine with that.  I’m not going to cater or pander to those who are too immature to comprehend that sexuality is complex and flexible and not one narrow, oppressive definition that is based on patriarchy, misogyny, and sexism.  The gay community deserves to have a voice in our liberation and they deserve to be showcased as sensual, beautiful, and erotic, not ghetto thugs, fetishes, or objects of dysfunctional down low lust. 

AfroerotiK is the very definition of old-school feminist.  Old-school feminism is vastly different than this new wave of feminism that is about conforming to and complying with sexist definitions of what makes a woman attractive and calling it empowering.  You will not see women dressed up in constricting, uncomfortable lingerie and outrageously high heels in order to appeal to men’s definition of attractiveness.  You will not see women overly-made up either.  Every woman wants to feel attractive and we use the tools available to us to do that.  That includes makeup.  But we cannot allow ourselves to be defined by perfection or standards that are impossible if not impractical to achieve.  Your hair doesn’t have to be done every minute of every day in order for you to feel sexy and desirable.  Your fingernails and toenails don’t have to have matching polish in order for you to have value as a woman.  And you don’t have to hide, pretend, deny, or regret your choices in the bedroom or your beautiful imperfections. 

TRUE empowerment does not mean that you jump in and out of bed with anyone, not respecting that there are very real and often times dire consequences to having multiple partners.  Empowerment means you make informed, intelligent, conscious choices in your partners that are not based on manipulation, getting something in exchange for sex, cheating, lying, or having sex with someone without even knowing anything other than their Instagram name.  AfroerotiK feminism is not just for women.  AfroerotiK wants to insure that Black men are evolving, seeing women as complex human being, not just holes to fuck.  AfroerotiK is providing a framework where brothas evolve emotionally and sexually to honor relationships, not just sex.  Men can be feminists; because feminist doesn’t mean feminine.  Black men need to see women as complements, not adversaries. 

Women have been led to believe that ANYTHING a woman does is empowering, even if and especially if it’s degrading to herself.  In AfroerotiK artforms, you will never see a Black woman being called a bitch, a ho, a slut, or any other degrading name.  You will never see a Black woman depicted being slapped, choked, spit on, or otherwise used by men for their sole pleasure.  Yes, I understand completely that many sistas enjoy being called degrading names, that they experience pain as pleasure, and they have no issue with being spit on or used by men, multiple men in fact.  I also get that there is a growing movement for Black women to “own” their abuse by choosing to be sexually submissive to men as a way of controlling the fact that we have been raped, molested, and beaten by the men in our lives at every stage in our development.  Luckily for them, there are bajillions of outlets for them to find arousal on the net.  AfroerotiK is not one of those places however. 

OK, you say, but you have read plenty of AfroerotiK stories in which white people were called degrading names, where they were beaten and slapped and choked.  Very true.  The difference being, white people have 10 billion other outlets where they can find images of themselves as being virtuous, being desired, being depicted as the most attractive people on the planet.  Black people don’t.  We only have AfroerotiK where I work diligently to create images of us that make us the heroes, that make us the morally superior and advanced, like they’ve seen themselves depicted for 1000s of years.  AfroerotiK is not now, has never been, will never be for white people to see themselves in a healthy, erotic light.  The purpose of AfroerotiK’s interracial stories is for white people to address race and racism in ways that they’ve never done before.  It’s to show them that we are not things for them to use to get their jungle fever fix.  Every interracial story I write exposes white people to our complexity and our humanity.  They may be lured to my stories because of their interracial fetish but they are going to leave having digested much more than that. 

AfroerotiK was created for Black women, like me, who want to be valued, treasured, seduced, romanced, and loved.  AfroerotiK is for women who don’t want to be objects but rather seen as and treated like real human beings with multifaceted needs and desires.  AfroerotiK is certainly not softcore however.  It is for women who want commitment, who want equal partners who are willing to communicate and build based on a desire to see their relationships flourish and grow and evolve.  Basically, I started AfroerotiK because there was nothing that spoke to me as an African-centered, highly-educated, multi-dimensional woman.  I wanted to see nappy women being sexual, I NEEDED to see older women taking control of their sexuality and not being led by shame or guilt that we grew up on.  I wanted to see women who weren’t conforming to European standards of beauty and who weren’t attracted to the pathetic archetype of Black men that is ever-present that is little more than a dog standing upright.  AfroerotiK explores every consensual fantasy possible, some taboo, some extreme, all intense and all with the express purpose of depicting our collective enlightenment through our sensuality.  We have embraced dysfunction, we have internalized our own oppression.  We rationalize that our unhealthy behaviors are inherent to us, not borne of a system of racism.  Look for the lesson in every story; look for black history, examination of our roles in larger society, look for the evolution of the characters from flawed but healthy to slightly less flawed and infinitely sexy. 

Sexuality is not bad, dirty, shameful or wrong.  Not every expression of our sexuality is healthy however.  That message, unfortunately, has been lost amidst the din and the noise of validating patriarchy, under this new guise of feminism masquerading as empowerment.  Rather than women making smarter, more informed choices about their sexuality, their partners and practices, and their behaviors, they have been programmed to believe that equality is to be found replicating men’s unhealthy, dysfunctional, detrimental sexual patterns.  Logic and reason are things of the past.  They have been replaced with arrogance and egotism at the mere mention that some of women’s behaviors are simply not wise.  Yes, women have a right to walk naked down the street if they want.  You also have a right to leave your car running with the doors unlocked too but that’s just not a smart choice.  We have failed to teach young women that they can make intelligent, informed choices, and while they might not be as fun as say, going to a college party and getting drunk off your ass and asking seven fraternity brothas to get you home safely because you lost your shirt in the wet t-shirt contest, they take into consideration that expecting a lion not to eat a baby gazelle left alone is not the smartest logic either.  Yessss, I get it.  If you don’t wear shorts that expose 3/4^ths of your ass cheeks, you are going to spontaneously combust into flames because any time the temperature is over 60 degrees wearing anything more than that is oppressive.  I   understand.  What I’d like young women to understand is that showing off every bump and curve doesn’t make you sexier, it merely advertises that you are insecure with the person on the inside so you have no choice but to highlight the packaging with the false hopes that some man will pick you above all the other women who have squeezed into impossibly small outfits. 

AfroerotiK women know that being sexy emanates from the inside and that it one’s attitude, that one’s integrity, one’s character and intellect is what makes them inherently attractive, not one’s hair, or the cost of one’s purse, and not the contest to see who can wear the least, show off the most, and who can pout their lips and gyrate like a porn star.  So while you are obsessing over your eyebrows being on fleek (which is not a real word and it’s indicative of a community obsessed with embracing ghetto mindsets as the norm) and your dress being short enough to leave bodily fluids on your chair when you sit down, AfroerotiK women are confident in the fact that they don’t have to be attractive to every single man under the sun in order to have value and worth in this world.  AfroerotiK women are comfortable with the fact that they can dress in appealing clothing but that it doesn’t have to conform to the teeny, tiny, itsy, bitsy, teensie, weensie definition of what men think is hot in order for them to feel attractive.  That is not empowering.  That is not feminism.  That is conforming to patriarchy!  AfroerotiK women don’t feel a need to be sexy to all of society, just their partner with whom they have mutual love and respect.  The key word being mutual, with love being the cherry on top the sundae. 

AfroerotiK women understand that using men is unhealthy.  You cannot be upset that men are using you, treating you like an object and then turn around and use them and think that’s empowering.  It’s wrong regardless of gender. I know, that’s crazy, right?  Lying, manipulation, and cheating are wrong regardless of whether the person has a penis or a vagina!  Who knew?  Oh, emotionally mature people do.  AfroerotiK people do. 

Getting money for your sexuality is not empowering.  It is participating in the objectification of women. It’s reinforcing and validating to men that women are things to be bought and sold by men to be used and traded for a better model at their immature whim.  You devalue ALL women when you decide that your body has a price tag.   Oh dear God, I get that some woman’s studies professor told you that sex work was empowering and now, that is the rule, anyone who says anything different is trying to oppress you and slut shame you and they are evil and sexist.  Yes, yes, I get it.  I’ve been told to have two seats and shut the fuck up and I’ve been called everything but a child of God for suggesting that there is a better way than selling your body to some dude who does not give a half a fat fuck about you as a person and who only sees you as a hole to pump his sperm. 

If the man with whom you share your body is not going to fix you chicken soup when you are sick, if he’s not going to calm your fears with words of encouragement when you are scared, if he’s not going to love and support you and your growth as a human being for the UNIQUE individual you are, not just your pussy or ass or weave or your Loubutins, but for who you are and what you bring to the table, sweetness, that’s not empowering.  Empowerment comes from being selective with your partners and holding them to high standards, exacting standards that you demand from a partner, not handing out coochie to any Tom, Dick, or Harry every time you feel a tingle between your legs or when you need your car note paid.  Demand honesty.  Demand fidelity.  Demand respect and all the things you need in a relationship from whomever gets your juicy delight.  That is empowering!  Annnnnnnnnnnd queue the respectability politics police to scream that women can have casual sex all they want with anyone they want just to fill their sexual needs and that sex doesn’t have to be about antiquated love and romance.  Right, you sure can.  But there are consequences to replicating men’s unhealthy behaviors and they ain’t pretty, trust me on that. 

Take it from someone older and wiser and with many more years of experience and scar tissue on my heart. Learn from my mistakes. Your refusal to understand that communication, intimacy, respect, and cooperation should be at the foundation of your choices in partners, not who has the most money, or who is the most attractive, or who has the biggest dick, or even who is available to sex you up when you are in the mood is going to bite you in the ass when you get older.  I wouldn’t even be telling you this if I didn’t love young Black women and want the best for you all.  I don’t want you to end up alone, with your expensive things you’ve purchased from selling your body and no one to share them with because you haven’t been taught how to form a relationship, all you’ve been taught to do is lie, cheat, manipulate, and barter your body to the highest seller.  You’ve never been taught the skills necessary to form a healthy relationship so your plan, to just sell it when you’re young and stop when you’re 30 or so and settle down and get married, that ain’t going to work.  Why?  Because men aren’t going to want a woman to settle down with when you’ve been reinforcing and participating in them buying women like convenience store fuck holes.  I get that 10,000 YouTube videos say differently.  I get that the overwhelming belief is that anything a woman does with her body is empowering.  You don’t have to believe me, agree with me, or change your mind; you don’t have to waste your time or mine telling me how ignorant I am.  I’m working to provide a model of healthy relationships for people of African descent, giving our pathologies, our issues, and our challenges in a racist society.  Go on believing that degrading yourself is empowering if you so choose.  Fine with me. 

AfroerotiK is not just for women however.  I have been passionate and relentless in holding a mirror up to Black men’s collective unhealthy behaviors and trying to provide them a model that is healthier than the one-dimensional hyper-masculine caricature that they have become.  I’m educating men to see women as complete beings, not objects.  I’m educating men to be more honest with themselves and their partners so they don’t falsely believe that some women are for marrying and some are for sexing. I work hard trying to educate men and women, to liberate them from absurd ideas about sexuality that should have been left behind in the 1800s.  I’m ever amazed at how many people believe such silly concepts about sex when information is abundant.  It’s slow, arduous, tedious work because women are intent on countering every positive thing I teach men with their negative behaviors that reinforce to men that all men need to bring to the table is a wallet and a dick.  But with every AfroerotiK story, I expose men to a model of what it is to be an empowered man, making mature, intelligent, informed decisions about birth control, about the emotional bond that IS formed with the connection of two bodies, and about their confidence in their manhood has nothing to do with how they receive pleasure. 

AfroerotiK is not just stories or photography.  Well, AfroerotiK used to be a website, owned and solely operated by me.  I’ve had to shut down two different versions of the website: the first because it was hacked and destroyed by someone who didn’t want me spreading my messages of erotic enlightenment to the Black masses.  I’ve had more AfroerotiK social platforms shut down than I can count.  I think there have been three Facebook groups shut down alone.  But I keep coming back and I won’t stop until I accomplish my mission of providing a framework for people of African descent to use in helping them construct healthier relationships.  The ability of a race to survive depends upon our intimate relationships: without ourselves, with our partners, with our families and communities, and with the people who would prefer to see our demise.  The second version of the AfroerotiK website had to be shut down because it was costing me more than I was making.  Never fear, AfroerotiK is not going anywhere.  It’s going to continue to grow and evolve.  I fully intend for my future book, In Loving Color, to have a great impact and scope than 50 Shades of (poorly written) Gray.  AfroerotiK will continue to be founded on breathtaking images and compelling stories and it will also shares podcasts, events, music, and . . . VIDEO.  That’s right.  I have plans for an extensive video venture that showcases our beauty and complexity.   All the steps I’ve made on my journey, all the perfectly-guided missteps, still have me headed to creating a shift in consciousness for me people that allows us to be more holistic, self-aware, and enlightened.  Can’t nobody hold me down. 

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