Black BDSM

I'm engaged in an interesting discussion (thankfully, not a debate) about the concept of Black men dominating Black women, and subsequently, Black women dominating Black men.  Several very important questions have been asked of me and I feel it's essential to share my reflections for the larger public in order that others MIGHT examine their own motives, objectives and beliefs and reconsider what they know to be true. 

I dominate white men and white men only.  In this country, with its despicable history of slavery and the exponentially sadistic and cruel treatment our ancestors endured at the hands of white people, treatment in which they did not receive sexual pleasure but that trapped them in a life of servitude, I will NEVER dominate a black body.  I will not degrade, humiliate, or oppress a Black man.  I will, however, work to educate him, lift him up so that he might see his greatness, will offer my unconditional love, support and encouragement.  I owe Black men that much for all that they must endure. 

Black submissive women have been led to believe that choosing to be dominated, giving consent to being beaten and abused by Black men is an empowering alternative to the repeated and persistent rape, molestation, an abuse that we have received at the hands of the men who were entrusted to care for us and who betrayed us.  That is not empowerment, that is conforming to abuse because you know of no alternatives.  It hurts me deeply, on a cellular level, when Black men feel the need to dominate Black women who have been molested, raped, objectified, abused and treated like society's trash. Why is it so hard for us to love each other holistically and completely, without the power exchange and the physical abuse that has been beaten into us?  Obviously, the question is rhetorical. 

Black submissive men are largely, but certainly not all, manifestations of Black men who don't have a foot of black dick swinging between their legs and their internalized self-hatred and low self-esteem resulting from not seeing themselves as “real” Black men in a culture that ONLY respects the engorged penises of African American men.  Manhood is more than just having a big dick however.  Manhood is more than being a hyper-masculine basketball player/rapper/drug dealer who lives to fuck white women.  I've tried to show Black men that manhood is having integrity, keeping your word, developing one's natural skills and abilities with the hopes that they might see that their need to be degraded and shamed for not measuring up to the Mandingo myth is not a measure of their worth in this society. 

Finally the submissive Black men and women who need to submit to white people have an inherent belief that they are inferior, they want to be accepted and loved and valued but they come in the body of darkness that society abhors.  They seek out punishment, to want to be called a nigger whore and other racial epithets because they want to be punished for not being white.  It is the doll experiment all grown up.  Society reinforces in subtle and not so subtle ways that Black is the wrong color.  Is it any wonder that behind closed doors, the very people who want to be respected, who feel frustrated and trapped in a skin color they have been told is wrong seek out insecure white individuals who will degrade them for their Blackness? 

The alternative is to teach Black women to love themselves, to love their dark skin and big lips and their natural, nappy hair that society continually tells them is wrong and bad and ugly.  Love the package that The Creator wanted you to have.  The alternative for Black women is to teach them not to be ashamed of being a victim of rape and molestation as we've been taught to do but rather to shame their abusers publicly and to find TRUE empowerment in demanding that they be treated with sensuality and eroticism and romance rather than submitting to the very men who get pleasure from seeing their pain.  The alternative is for Black women to know their true worth is not to be kicked and slapped and restrained and treated like an object but to KNOW that they are Divine manifestations of the one most high and that is not a white male in sky punishing them for their darkness. 

The alternative for Black men who enjoy dominating Black women?  I don't think there is one.  Their need to feel power over something that comes in the exact form of their mother, the person who gave them life, is reprehensible to me.  If you choose to beat and punish that representation to boost your self-esteem or get sexual pleasure I fear for your eternal soul. 

I dominate white men and men only.  I do not dominate white women because they are victims of the same patriarchal society that oppresses me.  While we do not have the same struggles, I will not participate in their oppression.  I will, however, take great pleasure and satisfaction in divesting white men of their fallacious sense of superiority, their unearned privilege, their arrogance, their condescension and their inherent racist beliefs.  White men have never been the victims of oppression in this society.  They have never been historically and systematically discriminated against.  They have positions of power in which they can maintain institutionalized racism and it is for those and other reasons I will continue to dominate them psychologically.  I do not dominate them sexually as I will not conform to their racist sexual fetishes but I will educate them, I will divest them of their false sense of superiority and I will make them see that my natural superiority is not a role I play to fuel their racist beliefs of what a Black woman is.