I'm engaged in an interesting
discussion (thankfully, not a debate) about the concept of Black men dominating
Black women, and subsequently, Black women dominating Black men. Several very important questions have been
asked of me and I feel it's essential to share my reflections for the larger
public in order that others MIGHT examine their own motives, objectives and
beliefs and reconsider what they know to be true.
I dominate white men and white
men only. In this country, with its
despicable history of slavery and the exponentially sadistic and cruel
treatment our ancestors endured at the hands of white people, treatment in
which they did not receive sexual pleasure but that trapped them in a life of
servitude, I will NEVER dominate a black body.
I will not degrade, humiliate, or oppress a Black man. I will, however, work to educate him, lift
him up so that he might see his greatness, will offer my unconditional love,
support and encouragement. I owe Black
men that much for all that they must endure.
Black submissive women have been
led to believe that choosing to be dominated, giving consent to being beaten
and abused by Black men is an empowering alternative to the repeated and
persistent rape, molestation, an abuse that we have received at the hands of
the men who were entrusted to care for us and who betrayed us. That is not empowerment, that is conforming
to abuse because you know of no alternatives.
It hurts me deeply, on a cellular level, when Black men feel the need to
dominate Black women who have been molested, raped, objectified, abused and
treated like society's trash. Why is it so hard for us to love each other
holistically and completely, without the power exchange and the physical abuse
that has been beaten into us? Obviously,
the question is rhetorical.
Black submissive men are largely,
but certainly not all, manifestations of Black men who don't have a foot of
black dick swinging between their legs and their internalized self-hatred and
low self-esteem resulting from not seeing themselves as “real” Black men in a
culture that ONLY respects the engorged penises of African American men. Manhood is more than just having a big dick
however. Manhood is more than being a
hyper-masculine basketball player/rapper/drug dealer who lives to fuck white
women. I've tried to show Black men that
manhood is having integrity, keeping your word, developing one's natural skills
and abilities with the hopes that they might see that their need to be degraded
and shamed for not measuring up to the Mandingo myth is not a measure of their
worth in this society.
Finally the submissive Black men
and women who need to submit to white people have an inherent belief that they
are inferior, they want to be accepted and loved and valued but they come in
the body of darkness that society abhors.
They seek out punishment, to want to be called a nigger whore and other
racial epithets because they want to be punished for not being white. It is the doll experiment all grown up. Society reinforces in subtle and not so
subtle ways that Black is the wrong color.
Is it any wonder that behind closed doors, the very people who want to
be respected, who feel frustrated and trapped in a skin color they have been
told is wrong seek out insecure white individuals who will degrade them for
their Blackness?
The alternative is to teach Black
women to love themselves, to love their dark skin and big lips and their
natural, nappy hair that society continually tells them is wrong and bad and
ugly. Love the package that The Creator
wanted you to have. The alternative for
Black women is to teach them not to be ashamed of being a victim of rape and
molestation as we've been taught to do but rather to shame their abusers
publicly and to find TRUE empowerment in demanding that they be treated with
sensuality and eroticism and romance rather than submitting to the very men who
get pleasure from seeing their pain. The
alternative is for Black women to know their true worth is not to be kicked and
slapped and restrained and treated like an object but to KNOW that they are
Divine manifestations of the one most high and that is not a white male in sky
punishing them for their darkness.
The alternative for Black men who
enjoy dominating Black women? I don't
think there is one. Their need to feel
power over something that comes in the exact form of their mother, the person
who gave them life, is reprehensible to me.
If you choose to beat and punish that representation to boost your
self-esteem or get sexual pleasure I fear for your eternal soul.
I dominate white men and men
only. I do not dominate white women
because they are victims of the same patriarchal society that oppresses
me. While we do not have the same
struggles, I will not participate in their oppression. I will, however, take great pleasure and
satisfaction in divesting white men of their fallacious sense of superiority,
their unearned privilege, their arrogance, their condescension and their
inherent racist beliefs. White men have
never been the victims of oppression in this society. They have never been historically and
systematically discriminated against.
They have positions of power in which they can maintain
institutionalized racism and it is for those and other reasons I will continue
to dominate them psychologically. I do
not dominate them sexually as I will not conform to their racist sexual
fetishes but I will educate them, I will divest them of their false sense of
superiority and I will make them see that my natural superiority is not a role
I play to fuel their racist beliefs of what a Black woman is.
