Acknowledgements

I am determined to get my book published. Ive met so many different obstacles to getting it published, from agents who request my work and never get back to me and publishers who are afraid to take a chance on Black erotica that is not ghetto crap. I have amazing supporters who remind me every day that my work has merit and that my words are transformative. I need a little help. If you appreciate my stories, my essays, my website, if you want to see In Loving Color on the shelves, say a prayer to whatever God you serve that I might be able to fulfill my mission and that my book can get published.

I am getting antsy. I just want it to happen so badly. I'm so tired of living like this. I have remained so good about not sharing any of the stories from my book with anyone other than agents and publishers. It's my best work. It makes my stuff that I post on the net look like a third grade reader. Below, I've posted the acknowledgement for my book. I have to keep putting the positive energy out there because I know it's imperative that my work help heal Black relationships, sexuality, and destroy stereotypes.

Forty years ago, a girl child was born who was to be a messenger; it was decided before she took her first breath that she would carry Truth and Justice with her voice. She lived an ordinary life, with no accomplishments and kudos, one filled with self-doubt and intense introspection. She spent most of her years thinking she could have no profound effect in life because no one would find legitimacy in her words. One day, the stars aligned and this messenger of Truth sang out, she cried out in anguish, she shouted from every corner. People stopped to listen; they were moved by her clarity and wisdom. She touched those she spoke to in profound ways and she showed them a path to transformation. Her life became a beacon of light for many and she learned to accept her mission with grace and humility. I AM merely a manifestation of The One Most High, seeking to experience itself with this costume and this role. All Praises.

To my ancestors who survived the long march, the slave castles, the middle passage, seasoning in the Caribbean, transportation to the US, and dehumanizing chattel slavery, I humble myself before your souls and ask that you continue to guide me and lead me to Truth. I will not let your blood be spilled in vain.

To my Grandparents, my debt to you is greater than the any words can convey. You are my rock, my stability, and my inspiration. You provided the foundation for my activism, my integrity, my understanding of what real love and commitment are. Your unconditional love and support has been invaluable to me and I love you in ways more profound than you can imagine. Thank you for being such exceptional role models, for loving me and for helping me become the woman that I am today.

To Michael, I kept trying to tell you that I wasnt cut out to pick cotton; you just didnt believe me. Youve taught me lessons in forgiveness and love that I didnt think were possible. When you were mad at me for not conforming, you still loved me. When you would scratch your head at my choices and I would defend them with a logic you couldnt understand, you still loved and supported me. Weve made quite a transition in our lives and I only pray that the relationship we share continues to grow. You are the first place I run when I need validation and support, thank you for never being stingy with either. I love you.

To my mother, Ive struggled for years to be who you want me to be, to not be like you, just to make sense of this love/hate dynamic that has consumed anything that could have been positive and fruitful between us. I acknowledge your contribution of creativity, attention to detail, and aesthetic artistry to who I am as a person. Your influence has shaped me in profound ways and when its all said and done, the journey may have been painful but I love who I am at the end of it. For that, I can say thank you and I love you. To Tanya Marie, my sister and my friend. Your belief and love have kept me going when I didnt think I could go on. I pray that you can find your mission and your own Truth and work tirelessly to accomplish it. I will be by your side, Ill have your back, and Ill do whatever you need because I believe in you and I love you.

To Chelsie, this acknowledgement is the final feather in your, I told you so, cap. Its been a long time coming and for years you pushed me to write a book when I was consumed with fear and doubt. You kept me off the street when I didnt have a place to go and loved me through some trying times. Thank you beautiful queen, for everything. I love you.

To Emmanuel, you have been the sole outlet for my passion and my pain for so long; I almost dont know how to separate the two concepts. Ive learned more about myself from loving you than most can comprehend. Im a much better person for having had the experience of the dysfunctional drama that has been our friendship, I truly wish you peace and many blessings on your journey, and I now release you completely.

To the person that has added breathtaking visual images to my words, Aaron, your artistry, and vision are truly beyond compare. Only you can take a picture of the mundane and give it life so that it takes ones breath away. I knew you were the one I trusted to capture the images that would be seen as groundbreaking artwork for years to come. You are a creative and visual genius and Im incredibly blessed by the bond and the friendship that we share.

There are so many others I need to acknowledge that have helped me get to this place. To Michael, George, Tricia, Frank, and Bruce, youve each been there for me in invaluable ways. To Jim, Dean, Stuart, Mark, and Gary, you contributions to the AfroerotiK dream kept it alive when it was on life support. To the members of my AfroerotiK group, whove been with me through thick and through thin, to those that have hated me for being so blunt and those that would send me messages of encouragement when I thought I could not go on. To everyone that has come into my life and enriched me with an experience that helped me refine and define who I AM, I thank you.

Peace and many blessings.