AfroerotiK

Erotic provocateur, racially-influenced humanist, relentless champion for the oppressed, and facilitator for social change, Scottie Lowe is the brain child, creative genius and the blood, sweat, and tears behind AfroerotiK. Intended to be part academic, part educational, and part sensual, she, yes SHE gave birth to the website to provide people of African descent a place to escape the narrow-mined, stereotypical, limiting and oft-times degrading beliefs that abound about our sexuality. No, not all Black men are driven by lust by white flesh or to create babies and walk away. No, not all Black women are promiscuous welfare queens. And as hard as it may be to believe, no, not all gay Black men are feminine, down low, or HIV positive. Scottie is putting everything on the table to discuss, debate, and dismantle stereotypes in a healthy exchange of ideas. She hopes to provide a more holistic, informed, and enlightened discussion of Black sexuality and dreams of helping couples be more open, honest, and adventurous in their relationships.

Monday, September 25, 2006

Dear Universe,



At this stage in my life I have come to a crossroads. I can no longer continue through life just merely existing day to day, picking corporate cotton, being satisfied with the mundane and the average trinkets society offers me in exchange for the silence of my spirit. I can no longer ignore the directives sent out from my soul to make substantial and real difference in the world. It is for this reason, I have decided to pursue within the unyielding diligence, my dreams. What is my objective you ask? To help educate and enlighten my people and to assist in raising the consciousness and self esteem of black people so that we might unite and demand equality in housing, education, health care, and the justice system.

My experience - 40 years of being black in a society where racism and injustice are no longer overt, but stealth and institutionalized.

My qualifications - my divinely inspired creativity and drive that demand that my talents be exploited for the betterment of conditions for my people.

My references - Every African man woman and child that survived the middle passage to become enslaved and have their freedom, spirits, and individuality robbed from them, every soul that shed their blood so that I might fulfill their dream, and every black child that faces growing up in an environment where he or she is not taught to honor his heritage and culture, but to believe him or herself to be the lazy, ignorant, criminal animal society has deemed him or her to be.

I believe that one of the most important issues facing the black community today are the vestiges of slavery’s bonds that have created hatred that has run rampant in our veins; it threatens are very existence worse than any bullet, virus, or disease could ever threaten our bodies.

Misogyny, appalling levels of crime, drug use, and the “causalization” of sex, complacency within a racist system, the obscene illiteracy and teen pregnancy rates, the disdain for education and glorification of the ghetto lifestyle, emotionally immature men and women willing to exchange their bodies for money, ALL stem from an inability to love oneself.

This self hatred has created millions of fatherless children, legions of black women who put more value into the roundness of their behinds and the length of their fingernails than in educating themselves and innumerous black men slaughtered in the streets before they’re able to reach their full potential or wasting away in prisons, victims of a mindset that tells them to be a black man is to be a criminal.

I see my people suffocating in materialism for clothes, cars, and money, never seeking to lift up their spirits, connect with their divine source, or shed the chains that Massa placed on our necks.

This same self-hatred has all but erased the mentality of “There but for the grace of God go I” in the minds and hearts of the black middle and upper class. No longer do we look to lift up our less advantaged brothers and our sisters, we take pride in tearing them down to raise ourselves up on an imagine pedestal of superiority.

Collectively we as a people are in a struggle

A struggle with the horror of oppression, injustice and inequality, we struggle like beasts of burden heavy-laden with discrimination, degradation, and disdain.

At the very core of my being is the desire to bridge the gap between those who accept with pride and grace their history and greatness, and those who never knew it. I am the child of civil rights leaders, I learned to walk with freedom and equality as my goals, and I was weaned on theories of nonviolence and social reform.

I grew up hearing the stories of the battles my family waged against Jim Crow, the Klan, and for the right to be treated as equals. I learned at a very early age, that to whom much is given, much is expected. I was given a mastery of the written word, an artistic vision, and a well of creativity that never runs dry.

It is for this reason I must work with due diligence to

Create Social Change

Educate and Enlighten

Break the Chains of Mental Slavery

And Lift the consciousness of African Americans

Sincerely,

Scottie Lowe




Saturday, September 23, 2006

Thought provoking questions


1. If you could travel back in time to the exact slave ship where your ancestors were transported to the States, what would you ask or say to them?

2. You are in a tragic car accident and you die. In the afterlife, you learn that everything you’ve been told about God is wrong, there are no judgments, no punishments, and no preferential treatment for anyone, that the only thing that is important in life is if you expressed the talents that were given to you. You are brought back to life by the magic of modern medicine. How would you live your life differently knowing the truth?

3. Who taught you the most painful lesson you’ve ever learned in life and what was it?

4. You’ve been kidnapped by deranged lunatics and they are going to kill you for sure. They place the gun to your head. In your final 30 seconds of life, what are the last thoughts in your head before they pull the trigger?

5. You’ve been diagnosed with a fatal disease and given 6 months to live. You are making peace with all the people you’ve wronged in your life, apologizing for transgressions you’ve made. Who is the first person on your list and what would you say to them?

God Hates Fags and Dykes



The creator of all, the master architect of the universe, the omnipotent, omniscient source of life hates homos. The Most High God of Divine Intelligence and the eternal fountain of love apparently hates people who love individuals with the same genitals and he loves the people who hate the queers. Let’s make sure we get that straight . . . as it were. God hates the people with love in their hearts and he loves the people with hate in their hearts. God is petty and insecure. God feels threatened by two men loving each other. God apparently feels that in a universe with intentional diversity, that diversity is a bad thing. Makes perfect sense . . . to a slave.

In defense of my homophobic black brothers and sisters . . . I must speak up on their behalf. They have been conditioned to accept the bible and every word in it or else fear the wrath of the ultimate White Master Overseer in the sky. Their desire to be good slaves for god and not question a thing they are told is the reason behind their homophobia. In essence, it is the result of racism, or the enslavement of our ancestors that created their homophobia. African people accepted homosexuality, bisexuality, transgenderism, and even understood that open sexuality was the pathway to spirituality.

But we were beaten.

Our bodies were beaten until we accepted the white man's religion and anything he told us was true.

Our spirits were broken until we came to a point where we accepted what Massa said without question.

We were so psychologically broken that we forgot how to use reason or logic, we only accepted what we were told and feared a whupping from masssa if we challenged it.

Black homophobes are terrified that God will slay them for even acknowledging the humanity and validity of homosexuals because that's how we had to survive, believe whatever we were told and fear questioning what we are told.

Homosexuality is the last thing Black people can hold on to in order to find someone else to condemn, someone else to whom they can feel superior.

Now, I don't offer that as an excuse, only an explanation of our homophobia as a people.

I sincerely apologize to anyone that has been the victim of Black homophobia and been subjected to oppression from people of color who do not value you as a person.

I am truly sorry that you have to feel oppressed by other people of color that cannot see the illogical reasoning behind their homophobia but that are paralyzed by fear.

I'm sorry that they are held captive by such repugnant beliefs that would make them condemn others for merely expressing who they are.

If I could speak the words that would let my people see how insane their false paranoia is, I could heal the world and Black people of many of the ills that have been inflicted upon us by slavery. Alas, I am unable to get them to let go of the fear of Massa and Massa’s diseased “truths” and we must wallow in the filth lies that were given to us like pigs.

Friday, September 22, 2006

The Lovers Speak

A love that God has ordained, two souls that were created at the same time, cannot be destroyed or separated by fear. Love is the ultimate truth and that universal love cannot be broken. You’ve come home to me, to us, because our energy is far greater together than apart. You will not find another that will hold you through the night and anticipate your needs like I will. No one else will fuel you passions and satisfy them so completely. It’s not vanity that makes me speak these words. It’s the recognition that we are the sum of two parts that together make a whole. United we are stronger, together we can accomplish any task. You are my Nubian King and I live to serve you, to exalt you as divinely capable, strong, and wise. I know that I reign supremely as your queen; not your servant or your maid but as your partner and your equal. We have put aside those notions of subservience and we have defined anew how we will command authority as a couple. I love you. I love you from the depths of my soul and I place that love upon a pedestal to be honored and cherished. I love your full, sensual lips and those deep expressive eyes that undress me from across the room. I love your stubborn demeanor that yields to reason. I love all of you, flaws and imperfections, strengths and talents too. You promised me a lifetime ago that one day we would join together to become one, to fulfill our destinies and you’ve fulfilled your promise. This love is greater than I’ve ever known. This love is stronger than my mind could conceive and it fills me with a peace that transcends time and space.

Copyright 2005 AfroerotiK

Monday, September 18, 2006

AfroerotiK is . . . African Centered Sexuality


If one were to form an opinion about Black sexuality based upon what the adult industry force feeds us, we would be nothing more than big black bucks whose sole purpose in life was to fuck white women or welfare mamas who take delight in bending over to show off our big asses. Miraculously, we exist in far many more dimensions than how mainstream society depicts us. There are those of us who have taken on other roles, who are willing to redefine our sexuality. This month, AfroerotiK is . . . the Podcast for the exploration of Afrocentric sexuality, is discussing domination of white male submissives in a story that will destroy the stereotypes and embrace our identity beyond the norm. Won’t you listen to this story, Goddess Initiation, with an open mind and fresh perspective?


It takes a while to download and your patience is appreciated.

http://www.afroerotik.com/Podcast/Goddess.mp3

Black and White Love


Interracial relationships are one of the most highly controversial issues that the Black community deals with. Black women feel justifiably slighted by Black men when they choose white women as partners proclaiming them as symbols of status or beauty or behind the cry that white women are more supportive. Black men feel a sense of betrayal and rage when they see sistas with the proverbial “slave master.” All too often, the reasons why white people pursue interracial couplings are based on the objectification of Black people and racist, stereotypical perceptions of our sexuality. There are a host of reasons a great many interracial relationships operate from of an unhealthy perspective. That is not to say that they don’t work for some people. Obviously, with the numbers of interracial relationships, a great many do work for the people who engage in them. For a great many others, they refuse to see how their preferences are not born out of colorblind love but of deep-seated beliefs that white people are better.

As more and more African Americans become completely assimilated, distancing themselves from the Black culture and people in academia, the workplace, church, in every aspect of their lives, it’s only reasonable to assume that those people would have more in common with people who don’t look like them. Does that signal the end of racism or a model for all Black people to emulate? Adopting someone else’s identity to distance yourself from your own unique culture, heritage, history and culture is never psychologically healthy. The mainstream would have us believe that we as Black people should disavow ourselves from anything and everything that has to do with our African identity in order to be more like them. The real problem lies in the fact that African American identity was born out of oppression and slavery; it was formed out of inferiority and self-hatred. Africans who were enslaved had to form their identities, beliefs, customs and coping mechanisms because they were beaten, whipped, and tortured, because they were raped, bought and sold like property, they were taught to hate anything that was inherent to their African identity and to covet those things that their owners possessed. Many African American behaviors are, in fact, unhealthy. Not thought our own devices, however, but because of our unique history of enslavement. It is in the restoration and recognition of healthy African principles, re-establishing and redefining an African centered identity that one should be able to form healthy relationship with someone of another race.

How could anyone love themselves when everything in society tells them that they are inherently inadequate, that they are less than human? Slaves couldn’t love their own hair, their own facial features, their traditions and customs when white people repeatedly beat into them that they were inferior. But that was a long time ago, right? That has no effect on anyone today, right? While no one wants to admit or believe that slavery has had any long-lasting effects, while everyone wants to believe that they are beyond any of the messy realities of an ugly past, unfortunately, there are far too many Black people today who don’t want to be Black. Add a whole bunch of clichés and rhetoric like, “color doesn’t matter,” and “love knows no color,” and you get a whole lot of denial about how many interracial relationships are formed. If you can’t find beauty in the features that stare back at you in the mirror, if you want to distance yourself from the people who look like you, then you’ve set up an internal struggle with your subconscious mind, fighting with your external desire to be someone other than who you are.

What about those Black people who don’t look Black? What about those African Americans who don’t have African features? One could argue that it’s perfectly okay for them to date interracially because they have the same features of white people, they look closer to white than they do Black. That ignores the fact that the history of light skinned Black people is that of rape by slave owners. It discounts the generations of ancestors who did everything they could to maintain their light privilege. Concerted efforts were made to ensure that darker skinned genes didn’t “infect” the family line. How can anyone deny the dysfunction in that sort of thinking? Many do, most people adamantly deny it because they refuse to see the connection of the tragic history of mulatto slaves being given preferential treatment and how that made them want to distance themselves from their Black-featured brothers and sisters.

All too often, when Black people come into an interracial relationship, the assumption is that they have somehow raised themselves up to a level in which they can be equal with whites. That basic assumption is based in the racist belief that black people are inherently inferior. If a person has to have no cultural identity to be with a partner, if they must conform to a set of standards and behaviors that denounce their unique background and heritage, there is something terribly wrong with the balance of that relationship. No interracial partnership should be formed without both parties willing to share equally in cultures and histories and traditions that support the equal and balanced footings of both partners. Black people have a history of slavery, racism, oppression, discrimination, and suffering that has shaped our collective consciousness. To deny that from, from both black and white partners, is unhealthy.

All too often, the selection of a white partner is based on an inheritance of passed on “mental enslavement.” During slavery, white people were heralded as the most attractive, more intelligent and overall better race. The features of white people, thin lips, small noses, flowing hair, and fair skin were held as the standard of beauty for Black people. The nappy hair, thick lips, wide noses and dark skin of African people was thought to be ugly and that belief was instilled in slaves for generations. Those messages have been passed down generationally and have never been addressed on a collective basis to rid our consciousness of those poisonous beliefs. To many Black men, the only women that are attractive are women that look as close to white as possible, so it’s little wonder they would migrate to white women. Dark skinned women represent what they believe to be ugly.

Lots of Black men justify their choices to fuck white women, to have them as sexual partners and not romantic partners, by saying that they are doing it to get back at the white man. Black men do not make a conscious decision to sleep with a white woman because so many Black women were raped at the hands of white men and to seek revenge. The conscious decision to fuck a white woman is made because they like feeling the supposed “power” they have in the beds of white women where the sexual stereotype is reinforced, where they are told that they are superior because of their savage sexuality. I have never met a brother who was so proud of his Black heritage and culture that he decided to seek his own brand of reparations from society and have his way sexually with the white woman to make up for the years of degradation that Black women have suffered. In almost every case, you hear Black men saying how sexy white women are, how beautiful, how uninhibited they are in bed. It’s usually followed by a litany of reasons why Black women are unattractive as partners because they have too much attitude, aren’t sexual enough, or they simply say, “I can’t help who I’m attracted to.”

The thought processes of the plantation are not that far removed from our consciousness. During slavery, light skinned women were allowed the luxury to be in the house, thus, as a Black man, to get one meant you might have some special privileges. White women were even more privileged. Those were the reinforcements that our grandparents were taught by their grandparents. Just because we have stopped delving into the origins of our sickness, does not mean the disease is not rampant. Show me the man that says, “I want my child to have short, wooly hair, a wide nose, thick lips and blacker than coal skin.” Those things are not revered in our society. I'm not saying a man with that consciousness does not exist, I'm saying that in this society, the Black man (and woman) is taught to love everything opposite of that.

In very recent years, Black women have decided to make a mass exodus of sorts and start dating white men. For many, it’s a choice because they say that the pool of Black men is shallow, for others, it’s a variation of the same theme as it is for Black men. White men are seen as validation. The message implied is that if a white man is attracted to a Black women, that has to mean she is attractive that she’s achieved the ultimate acknowledgement of acceptance, right? White men are the final say on everything so their approval has to indicate overcoming the insurmountable stigma of Blackness. The desire to have kids with good hair, and light eyes is rampant in the discussions of Black women who date white men but it’s drowned out by the discussions of how so much more supportive white men can be. How can that be healthy? The answer is that it’s not but those of us who speak out about the REASONS why so many of us find comfort in the arms of people who don’t look like us, we are attacked by the masses who refuse to acknowledge that there are a myriad of contributing factors to the interracial dating trend, most of which are dysfunctional.

Interracial dating is still the forbidden taboo on many people’s lips and in many people’s hearts. The taboo is the people who aren’t willing to look at the reasons why they date interracially. The taboo is in not peeling off the layers and seeing that the true reasons for interracial dating are self-hatred at its most extreme in far, far too many cases.

Copyright 2006 Scottie Lowe


Thursday, September 07, 2006

“Those Black Women”



You see it all the time, every day in fact. (Psychospiritually Disabled) Black women look for any opportunity they can to ridicule, belittle, and denigrate “those black women.” You’ve seen it, if a Black man finds a lame excuse to malign black women as gold diggers, or bitches, or some other offensive and sexist slur, Black women will come out of the woodwork to jump on the bandwagon and throw some fuel on the fire. To hear them tell the tale, these upstanding and outraged women are always the best mothers, the most exceptional pillars of the community, beyond reproach with nothing but contempt for “those Black women.” They have nothing but venom for the underprivileged, disadvantaged, or god forbid, women who’ve made a mistake. They are perfect and they make sure to stand atop their pedestal of condescension to point the finger of disgust at “those Black women.” They don’t have a problem with misogynist rap lyrics because it doesn’t refer to them; they are referring to “those Black women.” They are above any vile criticism of Black women in general because they are not one of “those Black women.” Their anthem? “I’m a strong Black woman.” They have no compassion, no empathy, nothing but judgment and hatred.

Am I not my sister’s keeper?

Black men have no such pathology. In fact, they tip the scales on the opposite end of the spectrum. Black men can never find fault, flaw, or blemish with another Black man no matter how reprehensible their behavior. Black men can have 23 children for which he pays not one thin dime and you will find brothas lined up to excuse his behavior.

Both behaviors are unhealthy.

Any person that feels that he or she has to malign someone else is inherently insecure. There’s a huge difference between identifying the unhealthy behaviors of Black women while trying to bring about a certain amount of consciousness and healing and talking sh!t and badmouthing other Black women so as to appear superior/perfect. Hating other black women for being victims of societal conditions shows no compassion and compassion is a sign of maturity. This whole, “I’m a strong Black woman,” archetype is delusional because it perpetuates this myth that Black women are these super sassy, indestructible forces that can raise children on their own, go to school, have a job, and maintain a relationship without blinking an eye. News Flash, Black women are suffering from depression, dying of heart disease, high blood pressure, diabetes, and doubled over with fibroids and it’s because we are so intent to hold on to this irrational stereotype. The women who live long, happy, healthy lives are the women that understand that it’s human to have weakness, to ask for help, and to admit imperfection. There’s no valor in being so hardened, so filled with hate at your fellow sistren that you lack the empathy, a quality Black women should embody.

Standing up against oppressive, sexist, and misogynist depictions of ANY Black woman is a measure of evolution. We all suffer, when we are referred to as bitches and ho’s, those that believe themselves to be just that and those that would sooner spit on those women than acknowledge that their plights are the similar. Aren’t we all as Black women, looking to feel validated and loved, like our life has value? Yes, some women have been led astray by unhealthy influences and messages and yes, they behave in ways that are detrimental to their self esteem and self worth. If we can’t come together, however, to stand united against the oppression of Black women we will perish in a quagmire backstabbing and denial.

The Days of Empowered Black Women are Gone


There was a time when women fought to have their voices heard, demanded to be treated as equals and not as objects, a time when feminist wasn’t a dirty word and meant more than “angry lesbian.” Those days are long gone. Today, women live to be the voiceless, un-opinionated, glamorous playthings of rich, high-profile men. There’s been a shift from women wanting to define themselves as human beings capable and autonomous, to women willing to accept that they are nothing more than sex objects defined by the length of their hair, the price of their outfit, the roundness of their behinds, and the attractiveness of their feet. Whereas, the 60s were the days of women asserting themselves and fighting for equality, the new millennium is the day of women showing off their midriffs and having men pay for their company.

Black women have been the targets of a very concerted effort to silence their voice, to stifle their growth. Thirty years ago, Black women were standing up for the right to be more than teachers, maids, and nurses. Today, sistas are striving to be the well-kept trophies of successful thugs and be rated on the sexist scale of attractiveness. Black women have been convinced that being a woman means having a man, and not having a man is a stigmata of shame, a lack or void that surely signifies that you aren’t good enough in bed, you aren’t beautiful enough, you don’t live up to your primary role in life of pleasing a man. Forget holding men accountable for their actions, forget having standards that fall outside of material possessions, to hell with asserting that being a woman is more than living up to a patriarchal model that feeds the distorted egos and libidos of men. Yeah, that crap is over. Today, women want to be objectified, complacent, and conform to the role of being seen (as beautiful) and not heard.

For a lot of women, they defend the notion that being a woman means how many men want you. It’s easy to do for the women that have light skin, that have long hair, that have a size six body with a size ten booty that look like a model and can pull the men that want to buy their souls in exchange for a roll in the hay. For the women that fit the profile, it’s all about maintaining that image and not rocking the boat. For the women who don’t fit that image, for the women with dark skin and hair that doesn’t flow in the wind, for women that don’t look like they stepped off the pages of a magazine or fresh from the set of a music video, they are left to deal with their self-esteem in a society that tells them that they are less than a woman. It’s a burden Black women don’t talk about because it’s shameful to admit that you don’t compare to the standard of beauty that Black men want and you feel like you’re fighting an uphill battle within yourself that you can never win, that’s beyond your control. What about the women that will never be able to wear the skimpy little halter tops and the five inch heels, and fling their shoulder-length hair and have men stumbling all over themselves to pay their car note? What if you look in the mirror every day and feel like you’ll never measure up? Those are the women that perpetuate the myth of the Strong Black Woman. They feel the need to suffer in silence and to endure a lifetime of abuse and pretend nothing hurts, to put up an impenetrable shell of distance and melodrama that leaves them perpetually emotionally drained. Convinced it’s an honor to be a strong Black woman, they hold onto the pain and feelings of inadequacy like a gold medal in the Depression Olympics.

The Challenges of Being a Black Man


Being minus a penis, I have to speculate what it is to be a Black man in a society created to cater to their egos and feed their dysfunction. I can only suppose that because I am a woman and a feminist woman at that, because I’m such a keen social observationist, and because I can recognize the failure of the “system” to raise emotionally mature Black men, that my analysis of Black men’s challenges will probably not be reflective of what most Black men think, feel or believe are their challenges. That being said, I think, as a Black woman, I must acknowledge the struggles that Black men face that keep them, in far too many instances, from self actualization and wholeness, which is probably not the objective of more than a handful of Black men anyway.

I can’t say that these are in order of importance but they are the ones I feel I can best articulate, or at least try to articulate.

1. An inability to communicate emotions. Being socialized to suppress emotions, feelings, and not being taught how to communicate other than aggression, I would imagine that a great many black men feel silenced when they feel frustration, disappointment, sorrow, longing, loneliness and a host of other emotions because they can’t even identify what they are feeling, let alone how to express it constructively. I suspect it’s why so many black men create phonetic, hieroglyphic, ebonic ways to communicate because without an emotional outlet, they must feel like a mute person trying to speak a foreign language. Because, however, you can’t articulate a problem you don’t know you have, a great many men must feel angst and frustration and be unable to pinpoint why or most fail to even acknowledge the sensation as a problem. As human beings, the need to be understood, to release your emotions is there but the socialization of our men is such that they equate sex with release.

2. Living up to the Mandingo Myth. I would almost guess that most Black men don’t think that this is a challenge, they think it’s some sort of rite of passage or it’s the natural order of the universe. Unfortunately, the Mandingo myth is a creation of the white man and living up to his expectations is dysfunctional at best, and harmful at its most effective juncture. Far too many Black men have bought into the myth, believing that they are sex gods whose sole purpose in life is to spread their seed. Society reinforces that Black men are superior athletes with big dicks and doesn’t leave them room to be anything else. It creates a sense of inferiority in Black men who don’t have a twelve inch dick and who can’t slam dunk and it paralyzes those who are packing and ballin’ to believe that they are capable of nothing more.

3. Being as good as the white man. The white man is all powerful. Anything he says or does is beyond reproach. He can commit crime and get a slap on the wrist. He can be a total idiot loser and have inherited money and affluence pave the way for him in life. He makes the most money, he has the most power, he has the most influence, and he get’s the most beautiful women. For a Black man to look in the mirror and see himself as a man and not have the same autonomy as white men must be terribly crippling. To add insult to injury, the measure of manhood is SUPPOSED to be dick size and sexual skill and to have that and NOT be able to navigate life with the ease of a white man must create an ache inside the likes of which I will never know. The constant struggle to prove that you are as good as a white man must consume all too much time and energy. The fact that there’s virtually nothing a Black man can say or do to give him equal footing to the white man in society, to know that he will always be seen as inferior to the white man regardless of his accomplishments has to be frustrating.

4. No viable role models of Black manhood. With so many women in this, “I don’t need a man to raise my son,” kick, the inability of those women to foster and nurture responsibility in their sons, and the entire social structure being catered to tell men that they can do no wrong, that women are the creators of sin, you have generations upon generations of Black men that haven’t been raised to be good Black men, they’ve been raised to be males. Being a man is far more than pissing standing up. Manhood is having integrity, fulfilling your responsibilities, being honest when you realize that it’s not the easy way out, and being able to release patriarchal roles and treat people like human beings and equals, not as objects to manipulate. We don’t have Black role models to teach men how to be good fathers and husbands. We don’t have Black role models to teach men how to have integrity and pursue excellence above all else. Without these role models, we are replicating empty, shallow, superficial models of manhood that are based on sexuality and aggression and not what a man is truly supposed to be.

If I were to repeat the rhetoric of the chest-thumping masses of Black men, their biggest challenges would be not being able to find a good black woman, too many gold-digging Black women, women not being supportive, being pulled over by the police unjustly, and not being able to be the head of the household like a man should be. Those are the empty frustrations of men seeking validation for their dysfunction. The biggest challenge of us as black people is to get Black men to see that their perspective is flawed and that their penis doesn’t give them the right to come and go as they please without respect or regard for anyone else other than their own selfish desires.

Sunday, September 03, 2006

The Challenges of Being a Black Woman

The three black men that I thought were going to respond have already responded and I doubt that there will be any more to step up to the plate. I’ll open the floor up for Black women to tell you what they feel their biggest challenges are and let’s see if there is some overlap.

I’m not a mother but I will ATTEMPT to speak on behalf of those of my sistas who are. Being a single mother has to, by far, be the single most stressful challenge of being a Black woman. The evidence is there in outrageous numbers that Black women are raising our Black children alone. Parenting is, without a doubt, THE single most stressful, emotionally draining, demanding, challenging job ever. To do it alone, without a support system, or a support system that only shows up every other weekend, is damaging the entire race. The financial, emotional, and physical responsibility of rearing children is too much for one person to do alone yet Black women do it alone so much, that it’s seen as the standard. Every mother wants to provide for their child, to give them more opportunities, to protect them but it’s virtually impossible to do without a partner. At least not effectively. The absence of Black men in the home, as co-parents, is The single most detrimental challenge to black women POSSIBLE. It weakens our community and our spirits.

I’m not all Black women; I’m not even particularly typical in any sense of the word. I see things vastly different than most of my peers but I can share with you what my biggest challenges as a black woman are.

Every man that finds me attractive thinks he has some right to fuck me. I’m sure men think it’s a compliment but it’s annoying and offensive and it eats away at my very soul having to constantly be approached by men who don’t give a flying fat fuck about me as a person, who only see me as a potential hole to stick their dick. Educated men, homeless men, professional men, jobless men, toothless men, younger men, older men, married men, single men, Black men, white men. I’m sick and tired of being seen as an object, I’m sick and tired of having to deflect advances from men who don’t know me, don’t want to know me, don’t give a damn about me, or who pretend to give a damn about me just to get the panties. On the street, on the internet, at work, everywhere I go, I have to deal with men who are constantly trying to manipulate me for sex. ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. It’s hurt so much inside to be constantly seen as just another piece of ass, to know good and god damn well that the men who want to fuck me couldn’t care less about me as a human being, when I’m a woman with feelings and dreams and preferences and an entire personality that exists beyond their need to fuck me. Many women have internalized the attention as flattering. They think it means that they are attractive, desirable but the end result is the same. They have learned to compensate for being objectified by objectifying themselves. But at what cost? What do they lose of themselves never being approached by a man whose first objective isn’t to fuck them? They shut down that part of them that makes them human in order to conform to the role that men will allow them to be, objects.

Being one of the members of the “highly educated” Black women clique, I can say that my second biggest challenge is finding a partner who is emotionally mature. I can find men who are intelligent, articulate, professional, successful, and attractive. Not a lot mind you, there are far more Black men who are not my equals vocationally, educationally, or intellectually which is a problem in and of itself because I need a man who is at the very least my equal in those terms. But of those Black men who are educated and professional, I can’t find men who have dealt with their issues, who are capable of being introspective, who don’t think of themselves first. In fact, the more money and success they’ve achieved, the more they expect women to just fall at their feet because they consider themselves “hot property” in the dating field. They feel like they have no responsibility to give of themselves, to even being just plain ole’ honest. I’ve done a helluva lot of work on myself, I’ve healed my demons, I’ve prepared myself to be a great partner in a relationship, I’ve relinquished the . Where are the black men who’ve done the same?

For all the Black men that accuse Black women of being “Toms” in the workplace in order to get ahead, that we are somehow betraying the Black race by climbing the corporate ladder, I say, “kiss my entire black ass.” Being a Black woman in the corporate world has given me more stress and heartache than anything else in my life. White men dismiss what I have to say without even listening to me because they don’t even see me as human, let alone an equal or god forbid a superior. Black men want to fuck me (see number 1) or want to discredit me because they think I’m going to take something from them. White women, dear lord, white women are the most ruthless, conniving, back-stabbing, manipulative, evil people when it comes to the workplace. White women have lied, cheated, stolen, and conspired to make me look bad and to make themselves look good in EVERY job I’ve ever had. White women are the instigators of more office politics, more interpersonal drama than anyone. Every disciplinary action that has ever come up in my career has been the result of a white women trying to discredit me to make herself look good. I’m under attack in the workplace from everyone as a Black woman and I get no support from Black men because they accuse me of trying to suck corporate dick in order to make them look bad because they aren’t as ambitious. I’m trying to build a future and provide a home for my family and I have to endure endless attacks of racism and sexism in order to do so on a daily basis. It’s what causes me to have high blood pressure, to have heart disease. Cleaning Miss Sally’s toilet was easier for Black women because it didn’t take years off of our lives. Climbing the corporate ladder is detrimental to our health.

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

The Petition to Keep CBS from Airing Racist Survivor.

The thirteenth season of CBS’ Survivor pits teams of African-American, Asian-American, Hispanic and White players against one another to compete for a million dollar prize. This blatant and offensive example of perpetuating racism is unacceptable. The choice to air this racist programming is nothing less than sensationalism for the sake of ratings. It seems that the producers of Survivor care nothing about a person standing on their individual merits; they want people to be judged by the color of their skin, not the content of their character.

Won't you sign the petition and forward this very important message on to as many people as you can.



Click HERE to Sign the Petition

You’s a punk mother fucking bitch


Yeah, you punk mother fucker, thinking you all that. You ain’t shit bitch, that’s right I called you a bitch. You talk shit all fucking day about how you all this and that and you ain't got shit to show for it ‘cept halitosis. You stand on the corner, grabbing your dick, but everybody know you ain’t packin. All that hot air you blow is just mental farts to compensate for the fact that you ain't jack. Whaaa, whaaaa, whaaa, you bitch and moan how everybody is trying to keep you down. You keeping yourself down by spending 18 hours a day fucking with XBox when you should be getting a job. You got babies over here and babies over der, not taking responsibility for any of em. And you cry how you are such a good black man and you can’t find a woman who will support you when you don’t do anything worth supporting. You’re lazy, dumb, broke and black, you ain’t good for nothing but a roll in the hay and sometimes not even that. You can’t eat pussy, you don’t last long, all you do is pump a few times to get yours and you’re gone. You smoke weed all day and you live in your mama’s basement.. You’re a loser bruh and it’s fact, you ain’t nothing but a punk ass little bitch mother fucker and there’s no doubt.

These are the lyrics to a new song I’m working on. It’s for all those men who defend offensive rap lyrics by saying that it’s not about ALL Black women. For all the men who don’t speak up about the offensive rap songs that degrade Black women, this goes out to you. It’s not about ALL Black men, just the ones that refuse to defend the honor of Black women by defending misogynist (c)rap. Put a beat to it and I got a platinum single right der. Now you know how it feels.

Seven Myths about Black Men



Someone recently posted in my yahoo group a list of 7 myths about Black men. The list was supposed to counter these lies with truth. Unfortunately, the list didn’t really address the core issues, it simply was a way for some poor soul to try to feel validated as a human being. I understand that need but it should have been done with much more introspection. Therefore, I’m going to step up to the plate and dismantle his list of lies and myths of Black manhood summarily and with efficacy.

Black men are morally and intellectually inferior.
The intellectual inferiority of Black PEOPLE, not just men, is directly related to the fact the educational system is designed to keep Black people stupid. Black PEOPLE are not inherently or genetically intellectually inferior. If you undereducate an entire race for hundreds of years, yes, unfortunately, you are going to have a race of people who aren’t intellectually superior. That’s not an indication of our capability or potential as a race, it’s just a manifestation of the fact that whites are the beneficiaries of a better education in this country. Poor nutrition, a staple in the black community, leads to lesser intellectual capacity as well. That’s not something that is inherent to Black people, it’s across racial lines. If a child is raised on sugar and processed food, they aren’t going to be able to have their brains develop properly because they lack the essential and key nutrients that stimulate brain function. Again, not inherent to Black people, it just so happens that we’ve been socialized to eat out of Styrofoam boxes, not gardens. Black people are just as capable of learning and intellectual superiority as any other race. Unfortunately, we were denied education for our first 250 years and it takes a lot longer to catch up. Unfortunately, the playing field isn’t level so we haven’t been able to catch up en masse the way we could have. There are plenty of examples of Black brilliance in spite of our handicaps and that speaks volumes to our potential and our natural intellectual gifts despite the roadblocks that white people have institutionalized to keep us oppressed. Moral inferiority is a joke. White people are so amoral it boggles my mind. Who else could start a war that kills thousands of people, endangers the environment for thousands of years, destroys hundreds of thousands of lives, for MONEY? Serial killers and pedophiles and bestiality . . . white people got immorality on lock down but the media is white so they have a vested interest in making us look immoral.

All black men are well-endowed and are better lovers.
Many, many, many Black men are better endowed. Not every single one, but a great many are. The reason why white slave masters were so intimidated by Black men is because they did in fact have larger penises. They would gather around in mobs and castrate Black men in order to feel empowered. The fact that Black men tend to have larger penises, and more muscle tone, which would make for a better lover, is not a myth. The myth comes in making their larger sexual organs and better skills something negative. The Black man is not a sexual savage. He should not be defined by his sexual skill or endowment. He is far MORE than just a big dick and a primal fuck. Sadly, most Black men have come to define their manhood as just that.

Black men prefer white women
White women are seen as the standard of beauty in this society. They have been put on a pedestal as the icon of beauty for hundreds if not thousands of years. Black women, in this country, have been told for hundreds of years, not only are we not beautiful, but that we are ugly and undesirable. It’s no great shock that many, many Black men subconsciously see white women as more attractive, better partners. We have a nation of black women who are trying to change their aesthetic to those of white women, wouldn’t it stand to reason that a woman who doesn’t have to have a relaxer to “correct” her nappy hair is better than one who does? Doesn’t it stand to reason that if a black boy is told that he is black and ugly that he would want to make sure that his kids have a chance at being mixed and beautiful? A great many black men see white women as more beautiful subconsciously. White people feed their subconscious lust for white women by saying, “love knows no color,” and thus allowing them never to heall their wounds and address their own issues of self hate. Thankfully, not every Black man prefers white women, but the failure as a culture to address the centuries of brainwashing Black people have endured, does in fact create a large percentage of black men who feel white women are more socially, sexually, and/or romantically desirable.

Black men are irresponsible fathers
Seven out of ten black children are born to single mothers. Black women are raising their boys in homes without fathers, in emotionally incestuous relationships that cripple their sons and make them incapable of accepting responsibility as adults. It’s a cycle that will repeat itself till the end of time unless we address the emotional maturity of black men. Parenting skills in Black men are dangerously lacking for the most part. Again, that’s not something that is inherent to us or a genetic trait that is passed down. It’s a manifestation of socialization and a byproduct of lessons learned, and unlearned, in slavery. African men were just that, men, and completely capable of raising their families. During slavery, breaking up the home, preventing men from being good fathers was essential to controlling the slave population. (THERE WAS NO GOD DAMN WILLIE LYNCH) The model for the black home was set when responsibility was taken from the black man and it’s damn near impossible to give it back to him now. Even when black men are present in the home, their parenting skills are usually based on a patriarchal “I’m the bread winner and the disciplinarian: model which is unhealthy as well. Are Black men incapable of being good fathers? Absolutely not. Are the vast majority of Black men emotionally crippled as to not lend themselves to being good fathers, unfortunately, yes, but it’s not an unfixable problem, its not something that in inherent to Black men because of genetics.

Black men are superior athletes and entertainers
Black men ARE superior athletes and entertainers. Again, the problem isn’t in stating that as a fact, it’s in relegating that to the only things Black men are capable of. No, not every single black man is a superior athlete or entertainer. Our naturally muscular bodies and our natural rhythm lend themselves well to sports, dancing, singing, playing music. There’s nothing wrong with that. The problem lies in saying that’s the ONLY thing Black men are capable of. The problem lies in relegating Black men to roles of entertainer or athlete. Are there some white men who can sing and dance and have muscular bodies? Of course. But no one is telling them that’s all they can be. Check it, white people wouldn’t have kidnapped and enslaved us if our bodies weren’t superior and our dark skin didn’t make it easy for them to differentiate us. Anyone who could survive the middle passage is a physically superior person, genetically. The fact that white people like to be entertained by us is more of a commentary on them than anything disparaging to us.

Black men are poor businessmen
I’ve never heard of this, Black men are poor businessmen, myth. I’ve heard the myth that black business are poorly run so I guess whatever Black man wrote this list co-opted the myth to fit black men. It’s almost redundant at this point to mention that there is nothing inherently inferior about Black people that makes us behave in negative ways OTHER THAN the set of circumstances that white people inflict on us. We aren’t as likely to have inherited businesses, trust funds, endowments, willed fortunes, and insurance policies to give us the capital to start and run a business. We also have, what I call, the Black people disease. We have been socialized to fear our own success; we would rather work for someone else. There’s no DNA code for Black people that renders us more likely to be an employee than an employer, it’s just that we have been taught to follow the rules, not make our own. White people are taught that they can do anything, its drilled into their heads from childhood, We are taught that we have to do whatever we can to barely stay alive and that we have to conform to do it. Those of us lucky enough to have gotten different messages are more than capable of running successful businesses.

Black men contributed nothing to the advancement of civilization
I’m not sure why gender is an issue here. Black PEOPLE, both men and women, were the architects of civilization. This propensity to erase women from history is yet another example of how black men have been socialized to accept the norms of the white man. Erasing Black women from history serves what purpose, to elevate Black men to a position of superiority? The need for black men to want to rule over Black women, to diminish our contribution is one learned in slavery and it’s self destructive.

Oddly enough, the most glaring myths about black men are missing. Black men are supposedly more criminal, drug addicted, and lazy. Those are the myths I would have love to seen addressed. In each of those instances, I think white people take the award, hands down. Stealing land, stealing people, stealing resources, slaughtering millions of people. THAT’S Criminal. White people can find ways to justify their criminality in ways that boggle my mind. In my local newspaper yesterday, they had a picture of a black baby left in a car white the guardian was robbing a bank, took up half the front page with a color picture. Two weeks ago, a woman was arrested for embezzling a million dollars from her company and her husband was the State Comptroller for the state of Delaware. Page six, no picture, two paragraphs. Her husband is the man responsible for the finances of an entire state and that wasn’t even enough to warrant being on the front page. White people might not be genetically more criminal but they certainly are socialized to think their criminal behavior is justifiable, invisible.

I don’t know about now, but I know when I was in college 20 years ago, white people were doing drugs like they were vitamins. Black parties I would go to, everyone was concerned with dancing and rubbing your little thing up on someone, there might be some weed somewhere. White parties, there was coke, and pills, I don’t know what kind, and they wanted to drink until they puked. Drug addiction certainly isn’t genetic but white people have this, “I need to get fucked up,” attitude far more than black people. Now, with all of these manufactured drugs like X and meth, that are being produced in white homes and neighborhoods, its hard for me to comprehend how anyone could say that Black people are more addicted to drugs. We might have more homeless drug addicts but that’s not a measure of us being more drug addicted, that’s just a measure of how white people treat their drug addicts and a whole measure of economics.

One could argue that if white people weren’t so lazy, they could have built their own nation rather than having to enslave people to do it for them. Is that a trait inherent to them? Far be it from me to say that, god forbid. In fact, SOME might say that white people are inherently more violent, that they’ve made violence a form of entertainment, that aggression is what they are capable of most. My great grandfather was a sharecropper for a white man. He would work 16 hours a day to grow and harvest food for the white land owner. At the end of the year, that white landowner would steal the profits he was supposed to share with my great grandfather and keep them for himself. One of those men was lazy, one was not. Sadly, the entire system of sharecropping was built on the model that the black man would work for an entire year and the white man would reap the benefits of his hard work and not give him one thin dime, and in many cases force the black man to pay him. If one were making an argument about who was inherently lazy, it would be hard to form the argument that it was black men.

Myths and stereotypes have origins in truth. The problem becomes when Black people are narrowly defined by their stereotypes. Black men are more than just big black bucks who can run and jump and shoot and breed white women. If one asserts that Black men are incapable of more than that, that all they are is a collective of negative traits that have been ascribed to them, that’s the definition of racism.

Copyright 2006 Scottie Lowe

Scottie Lowe is the founder, CEO, and the creative driving force behind AfroerotiK, THE most unique website dedicated to showing the true beauty of Black sexuality in all its many facets. AfroerotiK creates customized and personalized erotic stories written from a decidedly Afrocentric perspective and embraces diversity in sexual expression. Tired of erotica that portrayed black women as man-stealing gold diggers and brainless nymphos, and black men as thugs, players, and emotionally immature dick-slingers, she decided it was time to write erotica that represented the complexity and full spectrum of African Americans. Look for her highly controversial upcoming book, In Loving Color, to create quite a stir with literary works of art that are dripping with sensuality and explore groundbreaking, socially relevant topics. It will include breathtaking photography that will be sure to arouse and stimulate intense passion and establish In Loving Color as the standard for Black erotica.

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Acknowledgements


I am determined to get my book published. Ive met so many different obstacles to getting it published, from agents who request my work and never get back to me and publishers who are afraid to take a chance on Black erotica that is not ghetto crap. I have amazing supporters who remind me every day that my work has merit and that my words are transformative. I need a little help. If you appreciate my stories, my essays, my website, if you want to see In Loving Color on the shelves, say a prayer to whatever God you serve that I might be able to fulfill my mission and that my book can get published.

I am getting antsy. I just want it to happen so badly. I'm so tired of living like this. I have remained so good about not sharing any of the stories from my book with anyone other than agents and publishers. It's my best work. It makes my stuff that I post on the net look like a third grade reader. Below, I've posted the acknowledgement for my book. I have to keep putting the positive energy out there because I know it's imperative that my work help heal Black relationships, sexuality, and destroy stereotypes.

Forty years ago, a girl child was born who was to be a messenger; it was decided before she took her first breath that she would carry Truth and Justice with her voice. She lived an ordinary life, with no accomplishments and kudos, one filled with self-doubt and intense introspection. She spent most of her years thinking she could have no profound effect in life because no one would find legitimacy in her words. One day, the stars aligned and this messenger of Truth sang out, she cried out in anguish, she shouted from every corner. People stopped to listen; they were moved by her clarity and wisdom. She touched those she spoke to in profound ways and she showed them a path to transformation. Her life became a beacon of light for many and she learned to accept her mission with grace and humility. I AM merely a manifestation of The One Most High, seeking to experience itself with this costume and this role. All Praises.

To my ancestors who survived the long march, the slave castles, the middle passage, seasoning in the Caribbean, transportation to the US, and dehumanizing chattel slavery, I humble myself before your souls and ask that you continue to guide me and lead me to Truth. I will not let your blood be spilled in vain.

To my Grandparents, my debt to you is greater than the any words can convey. You are my rock, my stability, and my inspiration. You provided the foundation for my activism, my integrity, my understanding of what real love and commitment are. Your unconditional love and support has been invaluable to me and I love you in ways more profound than you can imagine. Thank you for being such exceptional role models, for loving me and for helping me become the woman that I am today.

To Michael, I kept trying to tell you that I wasnt cut out to pick cotton; you just didnt believe me. Youve taught me lessons in forgiveness and love that I didnt think were possible. When you were mad at me for not conforming, you still loved me. When you would scratch your head at my choices and I would defend them with a logic you couldnt understand, you still loved and supported me. Weve made quite a transition in our lives and I only pray that the relationship we share continues to grow. You are the first place I run when I need validation and support, thank you for never being stingy with either. I love you.

To my mother, Ive struggled for years to be who you want me to be, to not be like you, just to make sense of this love/hate dynamic that has consumed anything that could have been positive and fruitful between us. I acknowledge your contribution of creativity, attention to detail, and aesthetic artistry to who I am as a person. Your influence has shaped me in profound ways and when its all said and done, the journey may have been painful but I love who I am at the end of it. For that, I can say thank you and I love you. To Tanya Marie, my sister and my friend. Your belief and love have kept me going when I didnt think I could go on. I pray that you can find your mission and your own Truth and work tirelessly to accomplish it. I will be by your side, Ill have your back, and Ill do whatever you need because I believe in you and I love you.

To Chelsie, this acknowledgement is the final feather in your, I told you so, cap. Its been a long time coming and for years you pushed me to write a book when I was consumed with fear and doubt. You kept me off the street when I didnt have a place to go and loved me through some trying times. Thank you beautiful queen, for everything. I love you.

To Emmanuel, you have been the sole outlet for my passion and my pain for so long; I almost dont know how to separate the two concepts. Ive learned more about myself from loving you than most can comprehend. Im a much better person for having had the experience of the dysfunctional drama that has been our friendship, I truly wish you peace and many blessings on your journey, and I now release you completely.

To the person that has added breathtaking visual images to my words, Aaron, your artistry, and vision are truly beyond compare. Only you can take a picture of the mundane and give it life so that it takes ones breath away. I knew you were the one I trusted to capture the images that would be seen as groundbreaking artwork for years to come. You are a creative and visual genius and Im incredibly blessed by the bond and the friendship that we share.

There are so many others I need to acknowledge that have helped me get to this place. To Michael, George, Tricia, Frank, and Bruce, youve each been there for me in invaluable ways. To Jim, Dean, Stuart, Mark, and Gary, you contributions to the AfroerotiK dream kept it alive when it was on life support. To the members of my AfroerotiK group, whove been with me through thick and through thin, to those that have hated me for being so blunt and those that would send me messages of encouragement when I thought I could not go on. To everyone that has come into my life and enriched me with an experience that helped me refine and define who I AM, I thank you.

Peace and many blessings.

Thursday, August 24, 2006

Civil Rights, Civil Fights

One can barely have a discussion about civil rights without discussing the movement of the 1950s and 1960s, the two being virtually synonymous in conversation. In its classical definition, civil rights can be defined as the inalienable rights granted by a nation to its citizens. Rights that are supposedly afforded to everyone, irrespective of race, gender or age, nor to sexual orientation, national origin or physical ability. Duly noted, civil rights should never have to be championed in this, the supposed seat of democracy; they should be administered justly, without discrimination. The very fact that this country was founded on the premise of all men being created equal, while millions of its inhabitants existed as chattel beneath citizenship, speaks to the very inequities of the political and social clime that we as contemporary African Americans emerged from. When one’s citizenship is granted as an afterthought, as an amendment, it’s reasonable to assume that liberty and justice will most certainly not be for all. It also might be safe to postulate that those persons with original privilege, and their descendants, are more likely to be the beneficiaries of the judicious administration of rights.

The need for equal access to employment, quality education, housing, voting rights, and protection under the law is still very much an issue, if not more so, than it was 30 years ago. Racism and discrimination, instead of being administered at the hands of hooded cowards in the dark of night, is now stealth and institutionalized. Yes, we can ride on the front of the bus but African Americans are at risk for being denied loans for housing, being looked over for promotions, unjustly imprisoned and grossly undereducated. But because there are no more marches, no more poignant speeches from eloquent leaders, we have been lulled into a false sense of security that we have our civil rights. Perhaps we think that the struggle is over because there are no more dogs and fire hoses. We ignore modern day church burnings and the lynchings of Black men as insignificant. The fact remains that African Americans are more likely to be pulled over in our cars for perceived and minor infractions, victims of “Driving While Black.” Brown skin will land you in jail for a negligible possession of drugs while the white perpetrator of the same crime will end up in rehabilitation or on probation. Substandard housing has become so acceptable for economically disadvantaged African Americans that no one even raises an eyebrow at their deplorable conditions; there are many of us who have come to view urban decay as a sign of “Blackness.” Now, with the presence of a black middle-class that drives big cars and lives among the oppressor with relative ease, it becomes easier to overlook the social injustices of the masses. Yet the fight for social justice and civil rights is far from over.

Civil rights has in fact become a term that is synonymous with African Americans. Race becomes the pervasive and deciding factor when one is discussing civil rights. Color trumps sexual orientation, age, creed and disability. The white homosexual will always be able to slide under the proverbial discrimination detector when driving in his car. The black homosexual is a Black man first, and is afforded no protection from his own skin. The loan officer sees black skin approaching the desk first, not religious affiliation. Such is the case with the black elderly, the disabled and gender biased offenses. Affirmative action, enacted to Disparity based on race is rampant and the ideals of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness seem to be more and more evasive for people of color in this society.

I’ve noticed from a few of my contemporaries an interesting trend towards disregarding the contributions of the warriors of the civil rights movement by saying that what they did was counterproductive to the betterment of Black people. According to some, the civil rights movement was lead by a middle-class, elitist, bourgeoisie whose only agenda was to fatten their pockets and “Tom” their way to the political forefront. I find this an interesting position in that the real villains of justice to Afro peoples in this country wear white, whether it be skin, collars and/or sheets. Public policy has done more harm to the advancement of African Americans than those foot soldiers that risked their lives so that we might have a better way of life. It smacks of a certain amount of disrespect to belittle the contributions of those that sat-in, those that marched, those that put their lives on the line. Rather than attack racist agendas and GOP politics, they point the finger at those that resisted the status quo with negative critique. It is my contention that the civil rights leaders of the past did the best they possibly could under the extreme circumstances. The civil rights movement didn’t die in the 1960s, it was assassinated. It didn’t end because Negroes had obtained all of their rights and were finally equal; it ended with a bullet on the balcony of the Lorraine Motel. It ended in gunfire at the podium of the Audobon ballroom and in illegal raids in Oakland, CA. The movement ended because its efforts were effectively halted and the forward movement of an oppressed people quelled. The remaining civil rights leaders didn’t pack up their things and move to the suburbs saying, “job well done, I got mine.” Agendas became scattered, organization broke down. Everyone, working and middle-class alike went their separate ways, doing the best they could to carry on in the shadow of injustice.

I cut my teeth on the civil rights movement, learned to walk with freedom and equality as my goals. I am the offspring of a civil rights leader and it was towards the end of the volatile era of the civil rights movement that I garnered my agenda for affecting social change through civic-minded responsibility. Through the eyes of a child, I saw the remnants of a dream that had been killed, and I struggle to resuscitate it daily.

In 1968, Operation Draw Fire was an initiative in coordination with Lincoln University and the Maryland NAACP to desegregate local eating establishments in response to the arrest of three South African students trying to get served at a local pub. In the plan, a colored operative would go in and order food, and if he was denied service, he would then signal for the second team of whites to come in and request service. This lone individual went into these establishments unarmed, without backup in the territory that was the headquarters for the Klan in the violent 1960s. Tensions were high and tempers easily flared at the thought of a Negro trying to take away white privilege. On many occasions, guns were pulled and life and limb threatened. There is very valid reason that none of this information is footnoted and documented. This story is a part of my legacy, tradition I can call upon at any time. That solitary colored operative was my grandfather. It is the blood of a hero that courses through my veins, and it is his name that I carry.

On July 25, 1968, Ku Klux Klan members threw 15 sticks of dynamite into the home of the first Black man to run for political office in Cecil County Maryland. Fortunately, the dynamite rolled down a bank and no lives were lost. If the perpetrators of that deed had accomplished their mission, I would not be alive today. I was in that home along with my uncle and my grandparents. It was my grandfather’s dedication to paving the way for all Black people that motivated him to continue to struggle past the death threats and attempts on his life. Not greed or power, it was his passion to fight for our rights as human beings.

My mother desegregated her high school in 1960 and was the only Black student in North East High School for three years. She went on to be arrested four times in 1964 attempting to integrate a movie theater as a student at Morgan State College. She was sprayed with insecticide, fed moldy food, and housed in the general population of the jail with murderers and violent criminals. As you can see, my heritage is rich with the tradition of the civil rights movement. Today, I head a non-profit organization created to battle the injustices of inequality in this society. It is my mission to create social change and to make level the playing field that keeps my people disadvantaged.

In conclusion, I might suggest that one’s civil rights in the new millennium are just as elusive as they were for the freedmen during reconstruction. The culprits are not as blatant, but they are equally as oppressive nonetheless. I will leave you with the words of my grandfather and his admonition to my generation in the pursuit of civil rights for us all: “As you travel along life’s highway, keep a sharp eye on that door that leads to equality, don’t let it close behind you because your brother or sister may be trying to get in.”

Copyright 2001 Scottie Lowe

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Monday, August 21, 2006

Do Black men have bigger dicks?



Black people have bigger noses, bigger lips, bigger asses, why on earth is it so hard to conceive that Black men have bigger dicks. Overall, more often than not, in general, the answer is yes, black men have bigger dicks. Of course not every single one is big but by and large, yes, brothas pack more. I’ve seen quite a few dicks that were larger than average, all of which belong to black men. I’ve seen a few on black men that were obscenely large and scared the hell out of me. I saw one that was so big it hit him in the chin and he told me that his doctor told me that he was in the top 4% of men with large penises. I was terrified by that thing and I had to fight to get him out of my apartment. I can’t even imagine what the top 3% looked like cuz that thing was bigger than a horse dick. (He was a neighbor, not a date btw)

I think this topic is one that must be explored in great depth. I have conversations with white men daily, DAILY, that beg me to look at their little dicks, that tell me beg me to humiliate them on cam and insist that I must love to laugh at little white weenies. When I tell them that I have no such inclinations, that's when they insist that I only like Big Black Cocks. They can't seem to comprehend that I love black men for far more than just their genitals and they get offended when I say that they are racist for objectifying Black men for their penises. Usually, they then launch into some diatribe about how black men can't raise their children, or how all they are good for is sports and how they all want to fuck white women. I guess when I call them out for their racist behavior that triggers their true racist feelings and they can't stop themselves from spilling their racist guts.

It's been my experience that black men do have larger penises than white men. I've seen more than my fair share of tiny micro penises on white men and dicks that are far less than average. Black men fall in the average to above average range in almost every case that I've seen with very few exceptions. Now, that being said, I don't think penis size has a god damn thing to do with being a man, masculinity, or giving me sexual pleasure. I think it's a dangerous thing for black men to identify themselves with their dick size because the men that aren't packing 11 inches are somehow made to feel less than a man. I know quite a few black men that have chosen to live a gay lifestyle or choose to be sexually submissive to women because they feel like they could never satisfy a woman with their completely sufficient, fully functioning average sized penis.

It breaks my heart every time I see a brotha with a screen name that references his dick size and then says that he wants to (insert some metaphor for fucking that references hurting a woman with his dick). I want black men to see themselves as more than just a dick to fuck white wives while white husbands watch. I want black men to equate their manhood with being a full, well-rounded human being, able to process their emotions, able to be introspective, able to communicate openly with their partner. Brothas don't get that fucking white women for the entertainment of cuckold hubbies does not make them more of a man. It doesn't make white men respect them more. In fact, it makes them respect them less because all they do is see Black men as savage Mandingos, not as complex human beings. Most times, white men are quick to tell me that they think its degrading to have their wives "fuck black" because black men are such big dicked beasts. These brothas are just fueling the racist beliefs of white people and degrading themselves in the process. YET NOT ONE is addressing the fact that interracial porn is the largest growing segment of the adult industry and that 100% of the images perpetuate Black men in a negative light.

Sadly, there are more than a few black men with average penises, 5-6 inches, that somehow think that they aren't living up to the ideal of black manhood, that are suffering psychologically, It’s an ugly byproduct of the myth. It is equally as tragic that brothas with 8-9 inch dicks feel inferior because of this outrageous standard of Black masculinity. I find that a lot of brothas with average sized dicks SAY that they have much bigger dicks in order to feel like they fit into the brotherhood. Black men with large penises are, in far too many instances, the least emotionally evolved individuals because they've accepted their role as Mandingo to the detriment of building strong relationships. We need to redefine black manhood so that penis size has nothing to do with manhood.

I've asked for years now for brothas to speak up and discuss how the fact that they have an average sized or small penis has affected their self-esteem and self-perception as a Black man. Good thing I wasn't holding my breath for an answer. With such a dirty little secret how can we ever heal as a people?

Tall and Tan and Young and Lovely


Michael Baisden’s radio show with the same name discusses issues that are supposedly meant to bridge the chasm between men and women. His perspective, from what I gather, is to let women in on the secrets that would enable them to keep a man. I was supposed to be a guest on the show and for some reason, they . . . well, I’m not sure what happened. A producer called me and asked me to be on the show and told me she would contact me in a couple of weeks to discuss a date for me to be on the show and then never called back, returned my emails, nothing. Apparently he changed his mind about having me on the show. Probably a good thing because I have LOTS of issues with Mr. Baisden. I’ve not read his books, nor do I have any desire to having listened to his radio program. I find him to be one of the most offensive men with a public voice who does nothing but promote misogyny.

I was listening to the Michael Baisden show the other day and he was discussing the Brazil phenomenon. Black men are
going to Brazil in droves to experience uninhibited sex with the women there. He went on and on about how BEAUTIFUL the women there were. He said that the women there make the most beautiful women in this country look average. He named off who he considered the most beautiful women which included Halle Berry, J Lo, and Beyonce. I was so furious I almost drove off the road. Mr. Baisden, let me say to you, that if you find women with African features and brown skin so repulsive, the very same women who brought your books and propelled you to fame, take your happy ass right on the fuck to Brazil and live there. If the only women you find attractive don’t look like your mama, then I would invite you to pack your bags and move to Rio immediately.

This trend, for brothas to go to Brazil in search of sex with multiple mulatto hookers, and MOVE there is yet another glaring example of how Black men are emotionally immature and piss poor partners in relationships because their priorities are fucked. It’s extraordinarily superficial and shallow to want women to use as sexual objects and to control. And you can best believe that they are doing more than having sex, there’s scat, bestiality, pedophilia and any perverse thing you can imagine going on in Brazil. Who, besides me, is going to identify the pathology of black men who are so emotionally immature as to want women to shit and piss on and fuck like dogs, or be fucked by dogs and consider that heaven as opposed to forming a relationship with a woman who is going to be supportive and work towards building a family and future together? Black men that go to Brazil state that the women there “never question your judgment or threaten your authority.” Real men aren’t that insecure. What authority can you have if you need to pay women to sleep with you? Little boys need unconditional approval no matter how foul their behavior is. How extraordinarily immature! Isn’t that their same argument about white women? Us dumbass Black women are trying to be meet the impossible standards of these damaged men in order to find a partner when we need to be saying, “AWWWW hell no.” I wouldn’t even want to touch a man after he came back from Brazil, I wouldn’t even want to be in the same room as one because they are damaged psychologically. That’s a twisted and sick individual that sees women as things to purchase.