AfroerotiK

Erotic provocateur, racially-influenced humanist, relentless champion for the oppressed, and facilitator for social change, Scottie Lowe is the brain child, creative genius and the blood, sweat, and tears behind AfroerotiK. Intended to be part academic, part educational, and part sensual, she, yes SHE gave birth to the website to provide people of African descent a place to escape the narrow-mined, stereotypical, limiting and oft-times degrading beliefs that abound about our sexuality. No, not all Black men are driven by lust by white flesh or to create babies and walk away. No, not all Black women are promiscuous welfare queens. And as hard as it may be to believe, no, not all gay Black men are feminine, down low, or HIV positive. Scottie is putting everything on the table to discuss, debate, and dismantle stereotypes in a healthy exchange of ideas. She hopes to provide a more holistic, informed, and enlightened discussion of Black sexuality and dreams of helping couples be more open, honest, and adventurous in their relationships.

Tuesday, July 21, 2015

A primer for disgusting cheaters

If you are in a relationship and you aren't happy, if you want to have sex with other people, tell your partner BEFORE you cheat.  Let them have the dignity of leaving with their self-esteem.  Cheating hurts.  It's a betrayal of trust.  If you cheat, if you hurt your girlfriend/boyfriend/wife/husband, you are leaving an emotional scar that doesn't just go away.  You have changed them for the worse, you have broken their heart in ways that can't be repaired. 

If you tell them you are unhappy, if you tell them that you don't want to be with them any more, if you are HONEST with them before you cheat, you will hurt their feelings but people can rebound from that.  If you betray their trust, you have destroyed a part of their soul.  Be mature.  If you love sex with different people more than your family, more than your partner, don't bring anyone else down with your deception, lies, and betrayal.  You might get a thrill sneaking, lying, and having sex in the back of your car but the consequences of your immaturity have lasting impact on more than just you. 

If you're single, if you sleep with married people because you don't want an emotional commitment, you are the very definition of immature.  You are hurting the spouse even if they don't know about you.  You are hurting a family, a parent has to look in their children's eyes and lie about where they were and what they were doing.  If you don't want someone cheating on you, don't be the person that someone cheats with. 

There are more than enough single people who will have sex with you.  If you have children and you think that staying with your spouse is better and cheating is better than leaving, you are a pretty shitty parent and your kids are much better off knowing that you are being honest, not lying, not cheating. 

And if you  have cheated in the past and you've gotten away with it, tell your partner/spouse.  Why?  Because it's the right thing to do.  Because they deserve to know the truth so they can be informed.  They can decide if they want to stay and try to work things out or they can decide if they want to leave.  Information is power.  Tell them because you should apologize sincerely for your immaturity and betrayal. 
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