If
I could have a man created specifically for me, with all the things I desire in
a partner, I would ask for a man who took my breath away every time I saw
him. He would be tall and brown and beautiful
and ooze integrity from every pore in his being. He would be wise beyond his years and his
words would be carefully chosen each time he spoke and they would flow like
honey from his lips.
If I could have a man created specifically for me, he
would consider Africa his cultural and spiritual homeland and be willing to
shed the belief systems that we have incorporated during slavery for a more
holistic way of living. He would be
driven to fulfill his purpose in life and single minded in his dedication to a
cause that is righteous and good. He
will meditate every morning and he would pray with me every night. Of course, he will be able to cry on my
shoulder and ask for support because he has come face to face with the demons
that have kept men from evolving emotionally and he will have a commitment to
redefining himself anew. He will listen
first and then speak, he will not internalize every comment as criticism, and
he will apologize when he’s done something wrong.
My
perfect man will live off of a plant based diet, practice a spiritual system
other than Christianity, and he will be openly bisexual. He will have been in an intimate relationship
with another man and loved him. He will
be comfortable with his sexuality not being tied to ridiculous roles that
define him. He will be a patient and
attentive lover who will be willing to please and pamper me with the knowledge
that I will only return the favor tenfold.
He
would never be intimidated by my intellect, potential, or my activism and he
would support me and my efforts with words of encouragement and praise. He would put other’s needs above his wants
and we will travel the world in search of truth. He will know the first and third verses of
the Negro National Anthem and he will stand up when it’s being sung without
being told. He will never use the word
nigger, nigga, or any phonetic or derivative spelling thereof out of reverence
and respect for our ancestors.
I
want my perfect man to be equal parts creative and intelligent, equal parts
spiritual and carnal. Make him open-minded,
tolerant of people’s differences, and as far left as he can get politically
without falling off the scale and ending up in jail at Guantanmo Bay. I want him to be an avid reader and lover of
jazz, art, real theater (not Medea plays) and capable of articulating why the
current brand of hip-hop is misogynist and offensive to not only women but to
men as well.
His
commitment to our relationship will be beyond compare. My perfect man would prioritize and sacrifice
in order for us to continually grow.
Ahh, my perfect lover would hold me in his arms at night and kiss my
forehead and whisper, “I love you, Scottie” and make me feel as if everything
was right with the world.
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