I Desire

I desire a Black man that loves me so completely, that when another sister approaches him, he laughs at her advances because he knows he has it so good at home.

I desire honesty. Not leaving out parts of the truth, not vague or deceptive answers, not conveniently forgetting to tell me very important details, not blatant stories made up to impress me, not withholding facts, not lies. Honesty! I would rather have you tell me the truth and have my feelings get hurt than lie to me, have me find out later, and destroy our relationship.

I desire emotional intimacy. I desire a Black man to share his dreams, fears, disappointments, aspirations, feelings, and memories with me. I desire to be able to share my most intimate self with a man and know that he in not going to try to take advantage of me, manipulate me, use me, or disregard my feelings as inconsequential.

I desire common goals. I long to be able to share his vision for the future and make coffee and pass out flyers for the movement. I need to know that he will do the same for me. I want him to pay attention to our relationship. I have no desire to shoulder 100% of the responsibility for making the relationship work. I want to know that he is going to put thought into our anniversary, go out of his way to surprise me with a token of affection, and seduce me once in a while.

I desire a Black man that would never, ever even contemplate raising his hand to me. I desire my man who can kill the bugs, fix the thingy in the sink, change the oil in the car, cut the grass without me having beg, and do various other sundry things that is takes a penis to do. (Yes, I will do traditional feminine chores in exchange, it's only fair)

I desire a man whose spiritual vision is greater than his oppressors' I desire a man who is willing to take his time and learn exactly what it is I like in the bedroom, (or kitchen, bathroom, or very public place) and not assume I am going to like what his last woman liked.

I desire a man who can apologize when he has made a mistake, say I'm sorry, and can forgive me when I've done the same. I crave the knowledge that my man needs me in his life, and that I mean more than just convenient ass, or someone he can take advantage of.

I desire a brotha who loves me for all of me, my flaws, my weaknesses, my shortcomings and can compliment me and help lift me up without making me feel inferior or degrading me. I want him to be my biggest cheerleader, and I have it be sincere. I desire a man who thinks of me before he makes any decision that will affect our lives together. I desire a man who thinks I am beautiful and sexy and smart and intelligent and kind and compassionate. Not because I'm vain but because I think he is all those things and more.

I desire a man who has let go of the stereotypes that preclude women to roles of ho, babymama, golddigger, and maid. I desire a man to love me; mind, body and soul.