Swinging 101 in Black and white

I've noticed several trends in the swinging lifestyle that are different between Black and white participants. When Black couples go to a swing club it's for different reasons than white couples. I've been to mixed clubs, all Black clubs (still stands as the most erotic and sensual experience I've ever had) and I've been to private parties where all the people were Black.

When white couples go out to swing clubs, it's primarily so the wife can fuck other people, mostly men but occasionally women. She's dressed like a hooker and he's dressed like it’s dress down Friday at the office. White women will dance together in groups like at prom while the hubbies stand and watch. Anyone who has been to Trapeze or 2 Risque can atest to that. Black couples look like they are a couple, dressed for a Friday or Saturday night at the club, attractive, stylish but nothing over the top and certainly nothing where the woman could be confused for a prostitute.

White people don't really care about making a connection with whomever they hook up with, they go for appearance first and foremost and it stops there. White women will walk up to me and say, "Oh my god, you are so sexy,” and the next thing you know, they are on their knees trying to eat my pussy without asking me my name, or if I'm even interested in them going down on me. Black couples want to have a drink with the person or couple they hook up with, they want to have a while where they bond first, get to know each other and then go off to play.
It's far more about exhibitionism with white couples than it is for black couples. White men want their wives to be seen, they want people to watch and join in. Black couples want to go off to a private room together and get busy behind closed doors. I’m not saying that Black couples don’t get off on being seen but I’m saying that if you have a club with private rooms, Black couples will be lined up waiting for a room and when the door opens and the people come out, it will usually be occupied by Black couples.

White women, 9 times out of 10, will ride their husband on top. You rarely see a white dude downstroking at a swing club. Anyone who goes, check it out next time. If I'm lying I'm dying. If you see a white couple together, husband and wife, the wife is almost always riding old boy and he's chilling out relaxing. Brothas are always hitting it, working out the technique, driving it home. If a black woman is on top, you can be sure there’s another black women riding his face and they are kissing and sucking each other’s titties and whathaveyou.

White men do eat pussy a helluva lot more and in fact, they will bring their women to orgasm with their mouths more and not have the need to have sex after that. Brothas, based on my observations, eat pussy as foreplay before getting to the fucking. There are exceptions to every rule. The friends I used to go with for example, I never fucked, I only had oral sex with them. My boy would eat my pussy so well people would gather around just to watch me nut all over the place. If I had been willing to have sex with him, however, I can almost promise you that eating pussy would have only been the appetizer. One can only assume that white couples, man and wife, don’t have any such “no fucking” restrictions so eating pussy as the appetizer, entrée, and dessert is by choice and not by force.

And for the most part, white couples are far less vocal during sex. White women can cum and you'd never know it. They might breathe a little heavier and you have to assume they had an orgasm. There might be one or two white guys in the spot talking shit but the majority are not. Black couples are talking shit, moaning, groaning, and being expressive. I have seen white women screaming and acting a fool, but usually only when they are with black men. I saw this one white chick get the shit beat out of her in a BDSM room and she didn't even whimper. Go figure.

Single brothas are WAY more respectful in swing club environments. White men want to touch and put their hands on women without asking. Brothas have more manners, they'll ask and if you say stop, they apologize and don't do it again. White men will think that just because you are in a different room that gives them permission to try to jerk off on you again. The one opportunity I had to go with someone who I was dating, he was very protective of me, making sure that no one touched me or made me uncomfortable. I liked that more than when I went with my friends; I was pretty much on my own having to deal with unwanted advances.

I've NEVER seen a Black woman have a gangbang situation, in all Black swing clubs or in interracial ones. I've seen porno’s of it where ghetto mamas are getting banged by five or six dudes at the same time but I've never seen it in real life. I'm sure it happens but I've never seen it. I've seen white women get fucked by men and she never even saw their faces; fucked in the pussy, fucked in the ass, fucked without condoms, while hubby stands there and jerks off.

Black people show up after midnight, white people are standing in line when the door opens. We do have a different time orientation than white people. It’s considered negative because it’s different than the norm for white people but it is simply an indication that we are less rigid in how we view linear time, not a negative stigma that indicates we are somehow inferior.

And anyone else who has been to a swing club can testify. White men have erectile dysfunction a whole HELLUVA lot more than brothas. I've seen more white men with dicks that won't get nowhere close to being hard masturbating for hours at the spot.

I’ve only been to swing clubs in ATL, so there are possibly different dynamics in other cities. NYC and LA I’m sure have different dynamics. Interracial couples bring a whole nutha set of rules to the table. I’ve not seen many black women with white men at swing clubs but I’m sure that’s logistical as well. In LA or NY, I’m sure black women are stepping out with white men in larger numbers. I can recall one couple (BW/WM) who were pretty regular at Venus and they were both a little on the heavy side and it appeared that she was his domme.

From a person who thought swinging was nasty and disgusting before I went, to a person who can’t wait to find a committed partner to share in the erotic experience again, I’ve changed my perspective about what it is, and what it brings to a relationship. One thing is for sure, it brings a whole different element to Black relationships than it does to white ones. Perhaps we can delve deeper into the why’s and the mechanics of the differences with open discussion and dialogue.