In my lifetime, the men that I’ve maintained substantial and meaningful friendships with have been men with whom I’ve had no physical relationship. Often times, my attraction to them grows because of the communication and intimacy that we share but it’s not based on an initial romantic attraction. Occasionally, Men that want to get me into bed and then realize that it’s not going to happen, they usually make a half hearted attempt at being a friend. That illusion doesn’t last for very long, a couple of months at best. Once it sets in that they aren’t going to get any pussy, they stop calling and aren’t available when I call.
There are exceptions to that rule. I have one amazing male friend with whom we were both immediately attracted to one another but our respect for each other’s intellect and individuality allowed us to set boundaries that we’ve never crossed. We’ve engaged in sexual play that has included everything but penetration. He’s one of the two men that I know that can sleep in the bed with me and will not try to have sex with me. There are times when I ask him to come over and snuggle and he lets me know up front that he won’t be able to do that because he can’t handle the temptation and I respect him tremendously for that honesty. On other occasions, he’s called me and asked if we can explore some of his fantasies and we share an evening of sensuality without intercourse. Once, we got together with another friend of mine and had a threesome, without penetration. Our friendship has lasted for years and even though we don’t see each other very often, we have a mutual respect that transcends our sexual relationship. He’s been there for me anytime I’ve needed him and I know without question that he respects me as a person above all else.
Women often have friendships with men with whom they are not physically attracted. The stereotype of the “faghag” is all too common. Women often seek friendships with men with whom they can share non-sexual male/female bonds. Men, not considered attractive by societal standards often relegate themselves to the role of buddy to attractive women because women overlook them as potential partners.
Men choose friendships with women based on physical attraction and the prospect of a sexual relationship. Men don’t have the same standards for their male friends; a guy can have a friend that is fat, sloppy, slovenly and they are still their boys. It’s extremely problematic for us as a people if we can’t form friendships unless they are based on sexual attraction.
Married women express objections when their husbands have friendships with women and I’m not at all convinced that married women pursue friendships with men unless there is some sort of romantic undertones. Friendships formed prior to marriage must, inherently shift and be redefined when a person gets married. I’m pessimistic enough to believe that the vast majority of intergender friendships within a marriage are unhealthy. Women afraid of their husbands having with women is problematic and I know personally that the married men that identify me as friends to their wives would all like a shot at my panties. The only platonic friendships I have with married men are those in which I am friends with the wife as well. I have had married men that attend church every week, good providers, the model of the perfect husband try to fuck me. Men that say they are perfectly happy in their marriages have tried to get the panties.
I have a friendship with a gentleman that has survived years of evolution. It started as an internet romance and has evolved into genuine love and respect for one another as individuals. We got together recently and we ended up in a pretty steamy situation and it has altered our relationship. Where we go from here is going to be based on our communication but it seems evident that we are both holding back now. I don’t see the potential for a relationship even though I was the one that had the stronger attraction when we first met. Sex fucks up friendships.
There are exceptions to that rule. I have one amazing male friend with whom we were both immediately attracted to one another but our respect for each other’s intellect and individuality allowed us to set boundaries that we’ve never crossed. We’ve engaged in sexual play that has included everything but penetration. He’s one of the two men that I know that can sleep in the bed with me and will not try to have sex with me. There are times when I ask him to come over and snuggle and he lets me know up front that he won’t be able to do that because he can’t handle the temptation and I respect him tremendously for that honesty. On other occasions, he’s called me and asked if we can explore some of his fantasies and we share an evening of sensuality without intercourse. Once, we got together with another friend of mine and had a threesome, without penetration. Our friendship has lasted for years and even though we don’t see each other very often, we have a mutual respect that transcends our sexual relationship. He’s been there for me anytime I’ve needed him and I know without question that he respects me as a person above all else.
Women often have friendships with men with whom they are not physically attracted. The stereotype of the “faghag” is all too common. Women often seek friendships with men with whom they can share non-sexual male/female bonds. Men, not considered attractive by societal standards often relegate themselves to the role of buddy to attractive women because women overlook them as potential partners.
Men choose friendships with women based on physical attraction and the prospect of a sexual relationship. Men don’t have the same standards for their male friends; a guy can have a friend that is fat, sloppy, slovenly and they are still their boys. It’s extremely problematic for us as a people if we can’t form friendships unless they are based on sexual attraction.
Married women express objections when their husbands have friendships with women and I’m not at all convinced that married women pursue friendships with men unless there is some sort of romantic undertones. Friendships formed prior to marriage must, inherently shift and be redefined when a person gets married. I’m pessimistic enough to believe that the vast majority of intergender friendships within a marriage are unhealthy. Women afraid of their husbands having with women is problematic and I know personally that the married men that identify me as friends to their wives would all like a shot at my panties. The only platonic friendships I have with married men are those in which I am friends with the wife as well. I have had married men that attend church every week, good providers, the model of the perfect husband try to fuck me. Men that say they are perfectly happy in their marriages have tried to get the panties.
I have a friendship with a gentleman that has survived years of evolution. It started as an internet romance and has evolved into genuine love and respect for one another as individuals. We got together recently and we ended up in a pretty steamy situation and it has altered our relationship. Where we go from here is going to be based on our communication but it seems evident that we are both holding back now. I don’t see the potential for a relationship even though I was the one that had the stronger attraction when we first met. Sex fucks up friendships.
I’m not questioning if men and women can be friends; yes it’s possible. It’s possible for men and women to have friendships but under the current conditions it’s highly unlikely that male/female friendships are based on a solid, healthy foundation if attraction as the motivation for the friendship. I am well aware that the level of friendship between genders that exists now is dysfunctional but there has to be a shift. Men must decide to look at women as human beings, beyond the physical to form friendships. Friendships should be based on common interests, personalities and experiences, not on how attractive a woman is. Women must stop putting “men who are attractive on the inside” in the friends category and pursuing pretty boys as mates. We can get to the promised land but we have a lot of work to do to get there.
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