Acting “White”

If a Black person looks to better themselves with an education, he or she is accused of acting white. The Black community loves to throw that saying around like it’s an insult. What exactly does that mean? If you speak well, if you embrace education, if you don’t identify yourself as ghetto, that means you are acting white. It is our way of embracing ignorance, claiming that we have some inherent birthright, based on our color, to poverty and stupidity. Moreover, white people LOVE to feign insight into the Black community by denouncing those who don’t want to “act white” and embrace African Americans who are anxious to divorce themselves from the Black community and identify themselves as colorless. There is no such thing as being colorless in this society and intellect, articulation, and excellence are not exclusive to white people. If we are ever to evolve as a people, we must stop this absurd notion that white people are equivalent to excellence and that being black means we are dumb.

Pick up a book, go back to college, take a night class, use the internet to learn out our history instead of just wasting your life away.

Copyright 2009 AfroerotiK All Rights Reserved

The New and Improved, "I'm not Racist."

I've noticed a recent trend. Any time a white person says something racist, insensitive, or just plain uninformed and I correct them, they immediately respond with, "Hey, I voted for Obama." It doesn't even matter what the topic is. Their immediate, knee jerk response is to say, "I voted for Obama." It's the new, "I'm not racist."

I have to wonder how many of these people are lying. Not every white person voted for Obama. Many didn't vote for him because he is Black. It seems white people have an instant out now by claiming that they voted for Obama and that is supposed to absolve them of any of their misdeeds.

Mr. AfroerotiK Application

Mr. AfroerotiK Application

I’ve given up on finding love. It’s just not going to happen for me. I’ve learned my lesson and I’m prepared to spend the rest of my life alone. I’m not saying that there aren’t any good men out there; I’m saying that the men that I attract are not emotionally mature nor are they capable of vibrating on the same level as I am.

That being said, I’ve created a fool-proof method to get rid of any potential bothersome men who might try to distract me and convince me that true love might in fact be possible for me. I have the quintessential disqualifier of sorts. I’ve composed a series of application questions that I’m going to give to any suitors who may catch me when my guard is down and give me a glimmer of hope that companionship and intimacy might be an actual possibility for me.

The following is a list of questions that any man who is interested in me must complete in full. Those who are unwilling to even attempt the questions are automatically seen for the insincere boys that they really are. Those who complete some of the questions and not all of the questions will prove themselves to only be capable of handling the good situations in life and not the rough or difficult situations. Those who complete all the questions but their answers reveal some hidden misogyny, insecurity, immaturity, or personality flaw will be politely dismissed and summarily discarded with a quickness. That combination of disqualifiers will ensure that no Black man will ever earn the title of “Mr. AfroerotiK.” I demand a man who is introspective, who has examined his life, who can be honest even when the answers are painful.

It’s not too much to ask for a man to answer these questions. If I am to give you my heart, my body, my love, then it certainly should be a privilege for a man to take the time and answer these questions because what he gets in return will be a woman who is loving, nurturing, supportive, challenging, and who will love the dirty socks off him. We as women, myself included, are too quick to allow a man access to our hearts when he hasn’t proven himself worthy. I refuse to get hoodwinked by evil, manipulative, pathological liars and cheaters who know how to say what they think I want to hear but really feel another way. The questions are constructed to weed out the brothas who think they don’t have to do a damn thing to be in a relationship, the game players, the boys, and the emotionally immature.

1. What did you do wrong in your last serious relationship to cause its demise?
2. What does it take to make you happy?
3. What are you going to be doing 10 years from now?
4. What can you say to reassure me that you will never cheat on me?
5. What would you do if you discovered that your wife was cheating on you?
6. Who are your heroes?
7. You are writing our own wedding vows. What would yours be? (roughly)
8. What mistakes did your parents make in raising you?
9. What are you better at than anyone else in the world?
10. If we were in love, how would you SHOW me that you loved me?
11. What is the worst thing your ex’s could say about you?
12. What do you consider your responsibilities in a relationship?
13. Describe in detail your religious, spiritual, philosophical outlook.
14. Why do you think most marriages fail?
15. How would you make our relationship last if one of us were to have to relocate to a distant location?
16. What causes infidelity in relationships?
17. What traditional roles, if any, do you expect your mate to fill in a relationship?
18. What traditional roles, if any, will you be willing to fill in a relationship?
19. What is the sexiest thing a woman has ever done for you?
20. What’s the sexist thing a woman could ever do for you?
21. What do you think is the most important issue facing our country today?
22. What do you think is the most important issue facing the Black community today?
23. Describe the events in your life that made you grow up the most.
24. Describe your position on the following topics: abortion, welfare, homelessness, unemployment, reparations, the war in Iraq, legalizing marijuana,
25. Whom is the person you hate most?
26. Where would you go on your ideal vacation? Describe what you would do.
27. Describe your perfect wedding, honeymoon, and dream home.
28. What’s the biggest regret you have had in your life?
29. What is the stupidest thing you’ve ever done in your life?
30. What’s the smartest thing you’ve ever done in your life?
31. What aspects of your personality would you change if you could?
32. What will they say about you at your funeral?
33. How do you feel about going to counseling?
34. What is the biggest improvement you need to make in your life?
35. How many women have you had unprotected sex with?
36. When will you know when you have found Ms. Right?
37. What makes you think you are ready for a long term relationship?
38. Why do you like me?
39. What is the most important thing you want to teach your children?
40. What is the most important thing that your parents taught you?

Any man who can answer those questions will have proven that he has done the work on himself that is deserving of a chance to be my man.

Pregnant with Desire

Pregnancy can be erotic. Explore the sensual side of being full with child in this selection of images and audio that celebrate the beauty of the ultimate gift of womanhood.

Sexual Healing

In the Shadows

Do openly bisexual Black men really exist?

I'm only interested in openly bisexual Black men as partners. I'm not attracted to bi men who are DL, the ones who can't admit that they are physically or emotionally attracted to other men. I'm not looking for a super freaky threesome either. The last reason I'm looking for a bisexual man is sexual. I'm interested in openly bisexual Black men for many reasons, primarily because I'm attracted to men who have let go of absurd notions of gender and sexuality. I’m interested in bisexual men who can acknowledge that their manhood and masculinity aren't defined by how they experience pleasure. I'm only attracted to men who can distance themselves from the misogynist, patriarchal, sexist, oppressive notions of what it is to be man and how society tells men to relate to women. Men who have redefined their notions of top and bottom and see themselves as sexual beings without labels arouse me. I'm attracted to bisexual men for a host of socio-political reasons but I can't seem to find a bisexual man who is interested in forming a relationship with me. They either prefer men or they find some excuse to display knee jerk homophobia in front of other people. I desire an openly bisexual man. That doesn't mean that he has to wear a t-shirt in public saying "I like Dick," but he at least has to speak up when people say antiquated, homophobic comments. He can't pretend to be straight around people and then only admit his sexual attraction to men behind closed doors. We are so distorted and warped as a people; our sexuality is so unhealthy and dysfunctional that I'm beginning to think that openly bisexual men don't exist.

We are Family