I disagree with ALL the standards of raising children when it comes to sexuality today. I find it hard to believe that we as a nation can let our children watch violence as entertainment and we refuse to accept that it has any effect whatsoever. Forget the fact that children are committing mass murder, gang rapes, and going on shooting sprees for fun. No, watching violence has nothing to do with that. In the same vein, we let out kids watch pornographic music videos, we pretend their sexuality doesn't exist until it's too late, we don't show them healthy examples of sexuality, and we tell our children to wait till marriage to have sex or we let them have orgies in the basement and think we are great parents. I've yet to meet the single mother of a son who has a healthy perspective of her son's sexuality. Time and time again, they either insist that their sons are asexual angels and blame girls for trying to seduce their sons or they don't even care that their sons are sexually active at age 9 or 10, they think its some sort of sign of manhood.
Parents today seem to think that it's not good to show our children our "freaky" side. First and foremost, any person that considers their sexuality freakish is not going to have a healthy perception of their own sexuality. Sex is beautiful, natural, and healthy. Damn right children should witness their parent’s sexuality. Notice I didn’t say that children should watch their parents have sex but children should know that their parents kiss, that they are intimate, that they need time alone to relate to each other like a man and woman (or whatever gender the parents happen to be). How else can you teach a child how to relate to a partner in a romantic and intimate way if not by showing them by example? Children should know that their parents enjoy touching and kissing and holding each other. Children should know that on some weekends that they have to go to Mom-Mom and Pop-Pop's in order to give their parents time alone and that it's perfectly okay to tell them that Mommy and Daddy are going to have sex. If we continue to make something nasty, dirty, and secretive, we are never going to heal as a people.
I think it's unbelievably damaging to a child to ignore their sexual maturation. I have a professor whose wife is a counselor at an inner city school. A mother actually sat and watched pornos with her 7-year-old child because she said she didn't want him to be gay. That child is now damaged for life because his sexuality has been shaped by objectification and misogyny. Children should not be exposed to sex at that age and there is not justification for a child to be introduced to sex by an adult. Kids have more access to pornography than when I was a kid and I saw my fair share of it. Kids today grow up with images of sex on music videos that objectify women and make sex recreation. Every movie makes sex into some gross distortion bumping and grinding.
We don't teach our girls to love their bodies, to respect their bodies, we teach them to use their bodies as ways to manipulate men. We don't teach our girls that their bodies are sacred and that a man must earn her treasure with his honesty and integrity, we teach them that designer jeans will make their asses look better to get a bad boy. We don't teach our boys to honor their bodies and to treat them as sacred, we say, "Don’t get anyone pregnant" and that's that. We don't teach our children anything about sex and they grow up with distorted and fucked up images.
We try to repress the natural sexual development of our children, trying to deny their sexuality when they reach puberty. Instead of talking to them about sex, explaining to them step by step that sex is something that is emotional, spiritual, and physical, we don’t discuss it at all and then expect our children to come to us and tell us about their sex lives. Instead of having discussions about masturbation and providing children the opportunity to grow up without porn images shaping their sexuality, we turn a blind eye and pretend that our children aren't sexual at all. Kids are doing things these days that I had never even heard of when I was their age. I remember that almost everyone in my high school was having sex except for the ugly and the nerdy, and even a few of them were having sex with each other. I have no doubt in my mind that the instances of children NOT having sex is probably so rare it should be documented if it’s found.
Parents today seem to think that it's not good to show our children our "freaky" side. First and foremost, any person that considers their sexuality freakish is not going to have a healthy perception of their own sexuality. Sex is beautiful, natural, and healthy. Damn right children should witness their parent’s sexuality. Notice I didn’t say that children should watch their parents have sex but children should know that their parents kiss, that they are intimate, that they need time alone to relate to each other like a man and woman (or whatever gender the parents happen to be). How else can you teach a child how to relate to a partner in a romantic and intimate way if not by showing them by example? Children should know that their parents enjoy touching and kissing and holding each other. Children should know that on some weekends that they have to go to Mom-Mom and Pop-Pop's in order to give their parents time alone and that it's perfectly okay to tell them that Mommy and Daddy are going to have sex. If we continue to make something nasty, dirty, and secretive, we are never going to heal as a people.
I think it's unbelievably damaging to a child to ignore their sexual maturation. I have a professor whose wife is a counselor at an inner city school. A mother actually sat and watched pornos with her 7-year-old child because she said she didn't want him to be gay. That child is now damaged for life because his sexuality has been shaped by objectification and misogyny. Children should not be exposed to sex at that age and there is not justification for a child to be introduced to sex by an adult. Kids have more access to pornography than when I was a kid and I saw my fair share of it. Kids today grow up with images of sex on music videos that objectify women and make sex recreation. Every movie makes sex into some gross distortion bumping and grinding.
We don't teach our girls to love their bodies, to respect their bodies, we teach them to use their bodies as ways to manipulate men. We don't teach our girls that their bodies are sacred and that a man must earn her treasure with his honesty and integrity, we teach them that designer jeans will make their asses look better to get a bad boy. We don't teach our boys to honor their bodies and to treat them as sacred, we say, "Don’t get anyone pregnant" and that's that. We don't teach our children anything about sex and they grow up with distorted and fucked up images.
We try to repress the natural sexual development of our children, trying to deny their sexuality when they reach puberty. Instead of talking to them about sex, explaining to them step by step that sex is something that is emotional, spiritual, and physical, we don’t discuss it at all and then expect our children to come to us and tell us about their sex lives. Instead of having discussions about masturbation and providing children the opportunity to grow up without porn images shaping their sexuality, we turn a blind eye and pretend that our children aren't sexual at all. Kids are doing things these days that I had never even heard of when I was their age. I remember that almost everyone in my high school was having sex except for the ugly and the nerdy, and even a few of them were having sex with each other. I have no doubt in my mind that the instances of children NOT having sex is probably so rare it should be documented if it’s found.
There is nothing we do right as a society when it comes to raising our children and sexuality. We hide nudity from our children like it's a bad thing and let them think it's okay to have sex in a club for some Krystal. I'm not a parent but if I'm ever blessed enough to raise children, I can promise you that I'm not going to raise them in any way shape or form like most people do. My children will grow up understanding that homosexuality is normal and natural, that music videos are degrading, that sex is natural and beautiful and that it's a form of communication in a relationship and not something to do in the basement on a Friday night in order to get off. I will teach my boy children to call the police if an older woman propositions them for sex and that it’s not a rite of passage to have sex with an older woman, it’s a crime. I will teach my children that they should have an emotional and spiritual connection to whomever they lay with and that they must be prepared to nurture their partners and unless they are prepared to do that they shouldn’t have sex. My only prayer is that there will be other parents out there, raising their children in an equally enlightened way, so that my children can have partners that have perverted and distorted views of sex.
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