AfroerotiK

Erotic provocateur, racially-influenced humanist, relentless champion for the oppressed, and facilitator for social change, Scottie Lowe is the brain child, creative genius and the blood, sweat, and tears behind AfroerotiK. Intended to be part academic, part educational, and part sensual, she, yes SHE gave birth to the website to provide people of African descent a place to escape the narrow-mined, stereotypical, limiting and oft-times degrading beliefs that abound about our sexuality. No, not all Black men are driven by lust by white flesh or to create babies and walk away. No, not all Black women are promiscuous welfare queens. And as hard as it may be to believe, no, not all gay Black men are feminine, down low, or HIV positive. Scottie is putting everything on the table to discuss, debate, and dismantle stereotypes in a healthy exchange of ideas. She hopes to provide a more holistic, informed, and enlightened discussion of Black sexuality and dreams of helping couples be more open, honest, and adventurous in their relationships.

Tuesday, August 12, 2014

I am a Colored Girl





I am a colored girl.  I am a colored girl who has considered suicide when my life seemed cloudy and gray.  I am a colored girl who has been raped more times than any woman should, given her body and her love to undeserving men, and who has been a mother to an unborn baby whose life I chose to terminate.  I am a colored girl who has had to suppress, deny, and internalize my pain because I’ve been told that I don’t have a right to express my angst, that to be a good colored gal is not to be uppity but rather to be a sassy, one-dimensional caricature.  I am a brown woman who has been blue in a white world that is responsible for spilling the red blood of my black ancestors. 

Ultimately, however, this little missive isn’t about me, it’s about Tyler Perry’s For Colored Girls and its impact and impression on the Black community.  The fact that the movie speaks to me, to my artistic spirit, to my personal struggles and survival as a Black woman beyond the offensive and incessant deluge of Basketball/Rapper/Housewives gold-digging, materialistic, shallow depictions that flood the media is almost irrelevant.  I get that most Black women are entertained by their own objectification, that the more degrading the image, the higher the ratings.  What shocks me most is that I am almost singular in my praise of the movie among my peers.  Of all of my feminist, womanist, academic, like-minded friends, I stand essentially alone as a fan of the movie, its message, and its execution. 

I went to the movie on its opening night with a sweet gentleman who had more baby momma’s than can literally be counted on two hands.  The theater was packed to capacity with loyal Madea fans who really don’t give a damn if their entertainment is buffoonery or comes at the cost of their degradation.  They laughed at inappropriate places and yelled homophobic taunts at the screen as if the actors could actually hear them.  When I cried, my companion held my head to his shoulder to comfort me and whispered to me that everything was going to be okay.  As we all filed out of the packed auditorium, I heard the same sentiment echoed throughout the halls, “Yo, that movie was deep.” 

It wasn’t until I sought solace and comfort among my contemporaries that I found this, what I can only call bizarre critique of the film.  I fully anticipated that Black men would hate the film, that was no shock.  Any discussion of Black men that doesn’t proclaim them flawless and unfairly maligned is going to be met with a unanimous proclamation of, “Male Basher!”  I never once thought white people would get it, the cadence and rhythm, the subject matter is truly beyond the scope of what they deem to be acceptable Black entertainment.  Hollywood only loves Black movies when we are criminal, degenerate, or ghetto so I knew not to expect praise from The Academy.  It was only when I turned to the women who I thought would see the beauty and innovation of the project that I felt alone.  It seemed to me that almost every woman I thought would love it, said she hated it or wasn’t moved by it.  It was from my inner circle that I heard the critiques that it was nothing more than of unwarranted male bashing, that it was simply another typical Tyler Perry flick with no substance, that it was . . . too poetic.  The very same women who lament almost daily that there are no stories that tell our tales are the women who said that they couldn’t stand the movie.  I heard everything from contrived critiques that Perry only made the movie to hide his sexuality to he didn’t stay true to the original author’s vision.  One has to ask themselves exactly how hypercritical one must be not to take note of the fact that there were good black men in the movie, that the poetry remained essentially in tact, and that there was a beautiful story woven around Ntozake Shange’s words that had absolutely nothing to do with Mr. Perry’s personal life but the original play. 

I am not a Tyler Perry Fan.  My critiques of his movies falls more along the lines of Spike Lee’s assessment than those who have a collection of bootleg Madea DVDs they’ve purchased before the movies even come out.  That didn’t prevent me however, from going to the movie with an open mind and seeing the beauty, artistry, and genius of this film.  From the way it was directed, filmed, the exquisite way the stories were interwoven and interpreted, to the fact that it wasn’t watered down but that Perry maintained the integrity of the poetry, For Colored Girls was nothing less than brilliant.  Young and old, rich and not so rich, the movie gave voice to the myriad of women who have been socialized in a society that was not created for them. 

It’s almost as if the movie’s harshest critics were the same women who have dedicated their lives to fighting for our stories to be told, but when they actually saw their stories, with all their blemishes, they didn’t like what saw; they saw something ugly and it looked a little too close to what was reflected in their mirror.  In a day and age when what passes for artistry in the African American community are rap songs with the rhyming skill of a third grader, unscripted “reality” shows that have nothing whatsoever to do with any sort of reality, and plays with the exact same you-don’t-need-a-man-you-need-Jesus storyline rehashed time and time again, this jewel, this rare gem was cerebral, earthy, and genuine.  It’s a very sad commentary that the people who appreciated the movie the most probably have no clue what Sister Shange was attempting to do with her seminal choreopoem. She, like Perry, wasn’t trying to bash men or put out a work that was too sophisticated for the average Black person to grasp, she was telling the tales of colored girls who have considered suicide when the rainbow is enuf . . . like me. 

Monday, August 11, 2014

My Love/Hate Affair with My Country

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The Revolution has to be Televised



You will not be motivated to riot in the streets. 
You will not want to even get off the couch to look for the remote to change the channel.
The revolution has to be televised or Black people will miss it.
The revolution has to be televised in High Definition with a hip-hop soundtrack or it will be completely missed. 
The revolution will be a video game for Wii to get your heart rate going.
The revolution has to be televised
The revolution has to be televised because Black people will never read a newspaper.
The soldiers of the revolution will have intensive combat training with Solange.
The revolution has to star Kevin Hart or Black folks will not have a clue the revolution has begun.

The revolution will be brought to you by that vodka endorsed by Diddy.
The revolution will have to be an awards show or Black folk won't give a damn about it. 
The revolution will be a leaked as a sex tape with Kimye.
The revolution has to be televised
The revolution has to be degrading and offensive.
You have to subscribe to Comcast for the revolution because Direct TV doesn't carry it.
Subscribe to Amazon Prime to watch the revolution on your Kindle and Netflix will offer season one.

The revolution?  There's an app for that.
The revolution will have a commercial with a couple of those Real Housewives.
The revolution has to be televised
Don't worry, if you miss the revolution, you can watch it on YouTube.
The Revolution has to be televised because Black people don't want to create social change.
They want to Tivo the revolution and watch it in the comfort of their own home. 

The revolution will be released on DVD at Red Box with a coupon code.
The #revolution has to be 140 characters or less.
The revolution has to be televised
The revolution has to be televised
The revolution will be 6 seconds long. Do it for the Vine, ain't gonna do it.
God help the revolution if it is scheduled to air in the same time slot as Scandal.
The revolution will be available On Demand, free with your subscription.

The generals of the revolution will have to say the word nigga a hundred times before anyone listens. 
The revolution will have its own Facebook page, follow the revolution on Instagram and Tumblr.
The revolution has gots to be televised
The revolution "be like" barely literate.
Who has time for a revolution? 
Download the revolution to your I-pod and listen to on your way to the corporate plantation.

The revolution will be produced and directed by Tyler Perry.
It will star Lil Wayne if he's not in rehab and Rihanna's uniform will be see-through.
The revolution has to be televised
Without television, there will be no revolution
The winner of the revolution will be determined by viewer votes.  Texting rates may apply.
The revolution will be nominated for an Emmy as "Best Comedy of the Year"

The revolution will be a telethon with an 800 number to call in and pledge money.
"Hey, what happened to all that money donated for that Revolution thing?"
The revolution is dead.
The revolution died long ago.
The revolution has to be televised!
The revolution has to be televised!
The revolution has to be televised!

Copyright 2014 Scottie Lowe.  All rights reserved. 

Unprotected





Her Name was Jenny.  She'd been infected by her addict boyfriend with the virus that causes AIDS for over 10 years. She'd lived a hard life, an inhabitant of the housing projects in the Bronx and dependent on the state for her survival for her entire life. Her daughter is one of the most beautiful and amazing women, both inside and outside, I’ve ever had the pleasure to meet. Jenny was determined to see her child graduate from college so she willed herself to live. The universe masterfully orchestrated events so that I was there with Jenny the day she died. Less than 24 hours earlier, Jenny was her usual, sickly but fiercely independent self. She spoke her last words to me; I fed her her last meal. I covered her naked body after the doctors and nurses left her lying like a piece of trash on a stretcher. The doctor didn't even tell us that she had died. He said, Oh, are you here for Jenny? You can pick up her personal belongings with the nurse." They are so much more sympathetic on ER.

Some ago I was the "houseguest" of someone with whom I've had sex with for many many years. We used condoms twice, when we first met, and haven't used one since. I KNOW him to be a pathological liar. I KNOW that he was having unprotected sex with multiple partners when I was sleeping with him. I KNOW for a fact that he was engaged in high risk behaviors with people who were potentially infected. He would tell me that he loved me, that he wanted to be inside me, and he wanted to give me a baby and I would spread my legs and invite him to my sacred space without a condom. The year before that, I met a younger man, substantially younger who was altogether brilliant and who has an entire matching set of baggage due to sexual molestation as a child. We waited a month before we slept together. He told me he loved me. He told me that the wanted to be my man. I craved the connection and the intimacy. No condom.

Six months before that, I met a man who was a promoter for a Black swing club. There was no profession of love, there was no promise of a future together, there was no long history or extended courtship. I hadn't had sex in eighteen months prior to that and I was lonely and horny and the first time he kissed me I felt electricity course through my body. We slept together the very next time we saw each other and every step of the way I kept saying to myself, "I should tell him to use a condom." I didn't.

The truth of the matter is, sex without condoms feels incredible. For me, it's symbolic of the pure, unadulterated love I'm longing to share with someone. I have no doubt in my mind that my not having a child is a biological trigger for my poor and unhealthy risky behavior. If I, Ms. sexually aware and painfully celibate, is engaging in unsafe sex practices, when I've seen the effects of AIDS taking its toll on someone, then I'm quite sure that there are millions upon millions more who aren't as self aware, who aren't as secure with their sexuality, who making the same unhealthy choices and worse.

Black women, especially the ones that are the most outwardly critical of bisexual men, are the most likely to engage in unsafe sex. They put the responsibility of their HIV status on their partners, they don't take ownership of their responsibility of keep themselves HIV negative. They are the women who are BEGGING men to not use condoms, telling them that they are offended if a man says he wants to use a condom with them. I've spoken to countless bisexual men who tell me that they were in the heat of the moment and they wanted to use condoms with women and the women insisted that they not use a condom.

I've seen condom use in swing clubs. I've spoken to many a married man who says that they love their wives too much to bring a disease home (I know, cheating is the ultimate disrespect but they rationalize it anyway) so they always use a condom. I'm convinced that men who are bisexual or men who engage in sex acts with other men (even if they refuse to identify themselves as bi) are in most cases in denial about what they want, about their desires, so they get in the zone, they are all hot and bothered, and they don't use condoms because it's surreal to them. They are outside of their own reality so they suspend reason for fantasy and unsafe sex.

I have tested negative since my foray into stupidity. I’ve only had two lovers in the last 8 years and both were tested completely before we had sex.  I sometimes fantasize what it will be like the next time I have sex, imagining that it will be with the man that I spend the rest of my life with. Never once, in all of my visions of love, have I never imagined that he and I use a condom. I can consider myself pretty typical in my behaviors I'm sure, just a whole helluva lot more open and honest about my shortcomings and willing to take responsibility for my HIV status.

Saturday, August 09, 2014

Are you worthy?




You’ve read my interracial domination stories and you’re curious about me but are you intimidated by me?  Are you afraid of what you may become if I dominate you?  You should be; and for good reason.  I’m more cruel, more psychologically sadistic, more inherently superior to you than you can wrap your mind around.  I am sexually aroused by breaking white men of your arrogance, your ignorance, your smug, fucking condescension.  It turns me on to see white men groveling and crying and transformed into a thing of my creation.

The thing is, you’ve been socialized and programmed to believe that is not even possible.  Your fascination with Black sexuality is not because you believe we are inherently superior.  No, it’s just the opposite in fact.  You believe that we are inherently inferior so you think it makes you particularly nasty to degrade yourself with us.  Isn’t that right?  Blacks are beneath you so it’s exponentially nastier to suck a black dick than a white one. Submitting to a Black Domme is slumming it.  Well, I’m superior to you, in every conceivable way.  I’ve said it before, I will say it again.  I am not a believer in or supporter of theories of Black or female supremacy even though I am Black, female, and infinitely and inherently superior. 

I don’t need to negotiate terms or beg to dominate you.  I don’t give a fuck if I dominate you or not.  I don’t NEED to dominate another white man ever again, it’s not a compulsion or a drive for me compared to your need to be depraved.  I do it because I enjoy it, I do it because I’m exceptional at it and I’m turned on seeing white men emotionally, mentally, and psychologically stripped, broken, and destroyed.  I’m not a hooker or a whore; I’m not even a materialistic Real Housewife wanna be.  You can’t buy me, I’m not for sale.  I’m not going to cater to your fantasies or fetishes.  That does not mean however that you will have me dominate you and fulfill your fantasies without some sacrifice to you.  No sir, you will not have your submissive cake and eat mine too. 

If I were to dominate you, I would recreate you in the way that I see fit and you really have no say over it.  I’d respect your limits but I doubt you have many.  I’m a Black Domme, a quite remarkable one at that, and I demand that my subs not only service Black men, but make very concerted efforts to empower and enable Black people.  The vast and overwhelming majority of you reading this are not worthy to be my sub.