At different points in our lives
we have to examine ourselves and our motivations and decide if we need to
change who we are. Today is that day for
me. For the better part of 15 years or
so, I’ve been a Domme. I am what is
referred to as a lifestyle Domme meaning I do not do it professionally but
merely for the pleasure and joy I receive from it personally. More specifically, I am a psychological
Domme, meaning I have no desire to inflict pain on anyone, I don’t want or need
anyone to do stupid tasks to prove my superiority. My arousal, my very physical and sexual
arousal comes from getting in a sub’s head and fucking with the wiring, making
him disoriented, altering his perceptions and his core beliefs. I take what is arousing and a turn-on for
submissives and I use that, I manipulate that in order to get them to a place
of arousal where they are more open and receptive to the reality of their true,
inherent inferiority. If I’ve said it
once, I’ve said it 100 times. I do not
believe in nor am I proponent of theories of Black or female supremacy but I am
Black, female, and infinitely superior.
I have been open and very honest
about my domination in my blog and in my AfroerotiK travels for many, many
years. I’ve been open and honest about
all of my growth as a person, my sexuality, I have no secrets. I don’t hide my identity. I have ONE profile name on every site. I have never created a fake profile or tried
to obscure my identity for any reason. I
have created podcasts discussing all sorts of topics openly and very honestly,
and I have written extensively about my personal revelations. What I do not do is write about my specific
submissives and the experiences I have with them. I feel like if they trust me enough to give
me a part of themselves that is so intimate and scary, the very least I can do
is keep their experiences between them and I. I personally have nothing to be ashamed of,
however, because I am not at all ashamed of what I do. I
exploit white men’s inherent racism, their fallacious sense of superiority, and
their submissive sexual desires in order to make them face harsh realities they
might not otherwise experience but by my hand.
I have been very vocal about ONLY
dominating white men. I do not dominate
men of color, any color, because society is set up to oppress them and I will
not contribute to that. I do not and
will not ever see Black men as inferior to me.
Even if they are less advantaged than I am, I do not see them as
inferior. I see them for who and what
they are: men who have been denied equal access to education, employment, and
who have had to compensate in a very racist society by adapting to their
environment. I know that if they had
been given the same advantages in education and in society that I have been
given, that the strength, beauty, and inherent will of the Black man to excel would,
in fact, make them my equals.
I do not, will not, and have
never dominated a woman, any woman. I
have had two or three occasions to have sexually explicit chats with white
women and there was clearly blurred lines with domination and submission but I
did not have any desire to dominate them.
I am a woman. To do what I do to
a woman would be akin to criminal in my mind.
Even though I don’t feel a sisterhood with white women like I do with
women of color, I still respect that they are their struggles have to mirror my
own at some point on the spectrum of life and it’s a rule I am very comfortable
keeping.
I have had some wonderful subs
over the years. I can truly say that I
have cared for each of them in some way.
Some helped me grow as a Domme, others simply served as toys to express
my sexuality. I have turned down more
offers from submissive white men than can be counted. There was a time when I would get no less
than 10-15 different offers from white men a day, every day, 365 days a year,
for the better part of half a decade. My
standards are strict but so is my play.
I play hard. I take no prisoners
and I’m pretty unapologetic about it. I
have crafted and created plans specific to each of the subs who have belonged
to me. I have had a few occasions to
have one-night stands if you will with submissive white men and with very few
exceptions, very few indeed, they have all been pleasant experiences.
I remember my first foray into
domination. I was completely unaware of
anything to do with the BDSM world. The
gentleman who had been pursuing me romantically didn’t say anything about
wanting to be submissive at all. It was
not until he was kneeling on the ground in downtown Atlanta, loudly proclaiming
for all the midday passersby to hear, that he would do anything for my
forgiveness. Eventually, he would end up
in the middle of my living room floor, weeping with joy and exasperation at the
trials I put him through. I was a
different woman after that night. I knew
that I could, with my superior intellect and reasoning, get white submissives
to a place where I could manipulate their sexuality and their sense of
belonging. I knew that I could hold a
dirty mirror up to white men and reveal to them the pathological and
deep-seated racism that they seem incapable of acknowledging.
I studied their behaviors, their
responses, their core beliefs and it was apparent that submissive white men
held very much the same twisted and disturbed desires to some degree. Some white men were creepy, some were simple,
most were simply self-centered and didn’t give a damn about me, only their
fantasy of being submissive to some sassy Black bitch. Some, the intelligent, serene, worldly ones,
I respected and appreciated. Others,
rich, arrogant, and racist, I enjoyed toying with and breaking and throwing away
like trash.
Over the years, I have had coffee
and/or drinks with dozens of submissive white men for their applications to
belong to me. Most were painfully
average. White men who no one would
think or believe would have submissive desires, middle-class, average white men
who were not spectacular, remarkable, or memorable in any way told me that they
would do anything for me. Most, I knew I
would never hear from them again, others I knew that they were too
one-dimensional to truly grasp that what I would do to them was so entirely
devastating, so extreme and cruel, and they were too oblivious to know that
they were way in over their heads.
Others, I would think there was potential, that they would be great
submissives but they were just too disconnected from the truth, their desires
were too compartmentalized. You see,
it’s one thing to sit in front of a computer and pretend and fantasize that you
are a depraved slutty pig who will do anything, it’s quite another to live the
reality. Most white men fantasize in
extremes. They want to be the gangbang
whore at a party. Apparently, white men
think that Black women frequently sit around at parties where we piss on white
men for amusement. Or they want to be
passed around, having unprotected sex with black men with 12 inch dicks.
White men always act offended and
outraged when I suggest that those fantasies, were just that, fantasies and
that what I would do to them would be extreme but never insane or
dangerous. When they’re horny, you can’t
reason with them; with their dicks in their hands, they swear that they will do
anything. When the reality of their lives
resumes in the light of day, they compartmentalize, deny, and run away for months. They can’t deal with the fact that I might
actually be able to transform them to the thing that they want to be
secretly. They run in fear because they
know that if they were to submit to me, it would no long be just a fantasy but
that I would turn their fantasies into their greatest fears.
I’ve written many times about the
commonalities of submissive white men.
Their behaviors are pretty consistent and delusional. They are adept at compartmentalizing their
sexuality in ways that not one Black person I’ve ever met, as disconnected and
detached from any sort of healthy grasp of sexuality as we are, has ever come
close to. White men have a level of
arrogance, of entitlement, a belief that they are beyond reproach in a way that
is highly disturbing.
There have been a few white subs
I haven’t been able to break. One, I
groomed for five years and he would run away every time we met. He was so warped he made up a wife that never
existed. I wish I could say he was the
only one but he was far from the only one who did that. White men want to have an excuse, an
out. They actually think that I will
fall in love with them or that I will stalk them. It’s part of their delusion, they think that
I would covet and want them, that I will somehow inflict myself into their
life, that I will need them to complete me.
I’m patient, extremely patient in fact, and I have had subs who kept
coming back time and time again only to get close to the day when I would
dominate them, with or without a partner, and they would disappear for several
months. They always come back. ALWAYS.
Racism is a mental disease. Couple that mental disease with the
overwhelming desire to submit to Black sexuality, and the need to be racist and
offensive in public and private circles to maintain the status quo, to maintain
the image that they hate blacks when you in fact they lust after us, when they
have done absolutely NO work to rid themselves of their racist beliefs and their
inherent sense of superiority, and you have the recipe for internal conflict
that sets the stage for white men acting like assholes. I have experienced far more of that than I
would like to. Obnoxious, arrogant,
offensive . . . I’ve seen it all. I love
the ones that say, “Well, if you were truly superior, you could break me of
being an asshole.” White men are racist,
mentally ill, they are deluded in their beliefs that they are superior. Me being superior has nothing whatsoever to
do with making them realize the ways of their profound assholery and making
them change. My superiority has to do
with my ability to see and recognize their behaviors for what they are and not
lowering myself to their sickness but rather staying confident, secure, and
sane in my walk on this earth, speaking truth to power, and being the gifted
visionary I was born to be.
I haven’t done that. I have slipped and fallen and I can’t get
up. I have let a sub and his mental
illness break my spirit and my will. It
is for this reason, after deep reflection and self-examination, that I am
announcing that I will no longer dominate white men. I will no longer refer to myself as a Domme,
I will no longer engage in any activities personally that require my
interaction with white men and psycho-sexually dominating them. I am not superior to mental illness and his
has infected me. I have wanted him out
of my life for a decade. He comes back,
over and over and over again. He feels
entitled to insinuate himself into my life when he wants, how he wants, with no
respect or regard for anything other than his own sick and twisted fantasies of
being blackmailed and extorted and ruined.
He is a pathological liar. He has
broken my spirit. I hate him. I have never hated a sub before in my
life. They aren’t important enough in my
life for me to hate. I hate him in a way
that lets me know that he has won, he has broken me. If I could let him get to me the way he has,
I know that it’s time for me to pack it up and move on to the next phase of my
life.
I dread coming to my blog every
day; every day I dread the thought of seeing a comment from him. I feel like I have to be careful what I write
because I will incite him to bother and annoy the piss out of me again. I can’t do that. I can’t let a white man control what I
write. I gave him the opportunity to
belong to me. I opened myself up and
said, “Hey, I obviously can’t get rid of him so I’ll just do what I do best and
dominate him.” What an idiot I was. I
can’t dominate insanity. I knew it was
time for me to stop being a Domme when I actually prayed for his death. When I let myself be that dysfunctional, all
because a white man, it’s time for me to let it go. I have to make peace with the fact that I
will never be rid of him and I have to find a way to accept that and
incorporate it into my life without the feelings of disgust, anger, and
resentment that he has evoked in me.
I will not dominate white men any
more. I have done it, enjoyed it, and
it’s been a great ride. Going forward, I
will have to rethink seriously my involvement with interracial content. I know that I must continue to write my own
particular brand of interracial erotica.
I know that I have opened white men’s eyes, I know that I am the only
voice who is approaching it in the way that I do. I have plans for a series of interracial
videos that are unlike anything that can be found on the internet today. I know I must go through with them because I
know I need Black people to see ourselves as truly superior, not just pawns,
not just nigger sex objects to fulfill whatever dark continent fantasies white
people have. What I despise at this
moment is that every time I come out with new content, I know I will be dragged
back down into the abyss of this particular leech and his insane world where he
is justified in all the twisted lies he tells, all the immature tactics to get
my attention. He will, as he has done
repeatedly and consistently for the last decade, find reason to critique me,
feign indignation, arrogance, and outrage towards me, and then sing my
praises. He’s done it since day
one. He’s so warped, he has created fake
girlfriends, fake profiles, fake realities just to insinuate himself into my
life.
If I don’t come to some sort of
peace dealing with the fact that I will never be rid of him, I will certainly
self-destruct. I want and need to
distance myself from the sickness that is white male submission. Their insanity isn’t questioned, challenged,
or addressed in any sort of meaningful way and I am the only one doing so. I have plans for all sorts of interracial
events that will make white men come to terms with the dichotomy that is their
racial love/hatred for Black folk. I
can’t even think about executing them because I know that each and every time I
do, he will be there, in some way, inflicting himself into my life. I PRAY for the day I will never hear from him
again. Sadly, I know in a matter of
months, he will come back, again, and again, and again.
