My Man

I recently communicated with my ex-husband with whom I've not spoken in 22 years.  I've had a lot of time to heal from his betrayal and lies but while he moved on, well, he married his mistress, I've not found true and abiding love in the subsequent decades.  I have to confess, that physically, my ex-husband is my ideal.  I was as physical attracted to him the day we broke up as the day we met.  I find it ironic that several of my current requirements he had when we were married but I found them offensive or not assets at the time.  My tastes and standards have evolved tremendously as well as my knowledge of self.  I get that one can never find perfection, and I’m not seeking perfection but merely someone perfect for ME.  I am utilizing all of the law of attraction methods I know to manifest a man who matches my needs.  I would like to be partnered.  I would like to find a mate with whom I can share my time and space and energy, whom I can love and be loved by.  We all have our preferences and tastes but I think that with the closure I had with my ex-husband that the Universe might just see fit to bring me someone incredibly close to what and who I am looking for. 

It seems that any time I write about my preferences in a mate people get their panties in a bunch, because apparently, nothing offends people more than me stating what I want in my partner.   I always seem to get the most vitriolic and hateful responses from people who feel that my standards are too high or they don't like my criteria because they don’t meet them or they don’t want the same thing I want in a partner. I’ve been told more times than I can count that I should lower my standards and be satisfied with the superficial criteria they use in choosing a partner or that my criteria is impossible to find and I’m being unrealistic.  My response to my detractors is this:  1. I’m not average.  I’m not looking for someone average.  I am not asking for anything that I don’t bring to the table.  If I exist, then certainly there is someone out there who matches my energy.  2. I don’t really care if you are offended by my list.  If you don’t meet my criteria or you want something different in a partner, that’s fine by me.  

Finally, I'm always willing to compromise on the things I want but I'm not willing to settle on what will make me happy.   I know the elements that are essential for me to be happy in a relationship and I know the things that are niceties that are the icing on the cake.  I would never overlook a man who brings all the essential components I require to the table just because he’s not the right height or he doesn’t have every single thing I am asking for.  More importantly, it’s not anyone’s business to tell me what I should or shouldn’t compromise on.   

Shall we begin?  OK. 

It goes without saying that he must be a Black man.  I'm outrageously turned on by someone the same skin tone as me as I adore making love and seeing our limbs intertwined and not knowing where I end and he begins.  Again, it’s my preference, but I'm putting it out there what I want.  I’m attracted to a man’s essence, his character, his intellect, his integrity, and his gigantic heart so he can be any shade under the sun from blue black to ultra light.  His consciousness must, however, be that of a Black man.  I don’t want an assimilated, acculturated man who wants to be white or thinks that we should all be colorless.  I want a Black man, inside and out. 

I'm attracted to men who are 6'3" or 6'4".  I'm 5'10", I love to wear heels, and that height just fits me perfectly.  I'm much more apt to date someone shorter rather than taller because, oddly enough men who are 6'5" or taller just "don't fit".  5'11" is the absolute shortest I'd want to go but my dream man is 6'3" tall.  I’ve found that physical attraction is a key component in the integrity of my relationships.  I was not physically attracted to my last partner and I convinced myself that I was attracted to him physically because I was so attracted to his intellect.  Looking back, I remember times being in the grocery store and holding hands with him and feeling uncomfortable because in the back of my mind I didn’t find him attractive.  I didn’t consciously acknowledge it but I knew it was always going to be there from the minute I laid eyes on him.  I love a man who is 6’3” because it makes me feel warm and tingly when I stand on my toes to kiss.  I love the sensation of having a man be taller than me when I’m dressed up and we go out.  I love the way I can find my exact spot in his arms when we are snuggled in bed, they way my body conforms to his.  I love the look of a man in a suit when it falls just right  . . . it just gives me chills.   

It's hypocritical of me to suggest I want a man whose body is tone when I know good and god damn well that I'm currently 20 pounds over my ideal weight.   I would like to think that there is a man who is active and trim, not a gym rat, not a hard body, who doesn’t mind a woman with some mature curves.  I don't at all intend to stay the weight that I am currently but I also don't think I have to be perfect before I find the man who is perfect for me either.  If I meet a man and he’s got a few extra pounds, we can work it off together.  I’m cool with that.  I’ve dated men who were big and handsome and, again, it’s about maintaining that physical attraction.  I don’t want to have to manufacture attraction to my mate.  I want it to be organic and real. 

I'm not a size queen.  I don't want a guy with a gigantic dick.  Ouch!  I much prefer average to slightly above average.  Seven inches would be perfect for me.  And while we are talking about sex, I’d like him to be sensual, romantic, and erotic.  They are all different things and I’d like him to be versed in all of them.  His sexual skill has to have evolved past hitting it, stabbing it, and killing it.  If he’s willing to take his time and pleasure me, I’m going to put it on him like he stole something.  He MUST understand the art of being verbal during sex but it can’t be based on calling me a slut or a whore.  His skill must have evolved past what he learned when he was 16.   I love exploring fantasies with my partner but he must be evolved enough to understand that everything I think about are not things I always want to do.  Sometimes, I just enjoy talking about taboo, kinky things.  I’m addicted to intimacy so it’s about sharing and being transparent and being completely open, it’s not about going out and doing everything that crosses my mind.  Finding a man who gets that is essential. 

I actually prefer a hairless man.  I modicum of body hair is not at all a turn off but very hairy men don't do it for me.  Smooth, baby soft skin?  I’m drooling.  Oh, and I have a thing for hands.  I’m not even sure I know what it is but something about a man’s hands and fingers captivate me.  It’s not a fetish or anything and I don’t even know what sort of hands I like, I just know that I like nice hands. 

I will not date a Christian man.  Never again.  I would prefer he not be atheist because atheists tend not to acknowledge the wonder of the universe and how Divinely ordered we all are collectively.  Any and all organized religion is off the table with the exception that I will consider dating a man who is Buddhist.  My preference is someone who is spiritual, not religious, and who has a holistic, integrated view of science and consciousness interconnecting.  What?  It's my dream man.  I can ask for whatever I want.  Meditation, yoga, some centering/grounding practice is a must. 

I will never ever again in life date a man who identifies as heterosexual.  He must be OPENLY bisexual.  He has to be comfortable with his identity as a versatile, bisexual, Black man.  He has to be anally aroused and have toys to satisfy his needs when he is without a partner because he is discerning.  I will not tolerate someone who goes out and hooks up with strangers and sucks men off in glory holes to satisfy his cravings for sex with another man.  He must have loved another man, been in a relationship with another man.  He will be comfortable with his identity as bisexual, just as I am, and he will not be obsessed with unsafe and dangerous behaviors because he's tormented by not being straight.  This is an absolute, no compromising. 

He must be monogamous!  I'm bisexual and monogamous so I expect that from my partner.  Once I find my ideal partner, I want to focus all my time and energy on loving him.  I want him to do the same for me.  I get that it's unpopular to identify as monogamous these days but there are so many unhealthy, dysfunctional people in the world that when I find the man created for me, I don't want to bring another person's energy into our relationship.  I will work like a Hebrew slave to make sure that we stay happy, that we communicate our needs, desires, fears, and concerns with one another.  That takes commitment.  Having other people in and out of our bed will only serve to be a distraction and potentially infect our relationship with their negative or unhealthy energy. 

If he is a kinkster, meaning he is in the BDSM world, I would prefer that his role be that of a Dom to white men exclusively.  Black doms who dominate white women?  No thanks.  I want nothing to do with men who think it's a turn on to be a BBC nigger buck/bull.  If fucking white women is a turn on for you, I'm not the woman for you.  I will not even entertain the idea of a man who dominates Black women. You are degrading your mother, your sister, your daughter.   I want our relationship to be one of equals, partners, who love each other passionately, not a power play.  I am not submissive, I will not ever be submissive.  I do not desire to dominate my partner.  I am not attracted to men who want to be submissive to me.  He doesn't have to be a kinkster but if he is, I would like him to enjoy dominating white men with me.  (We can discuss and negotiate if we will do it together as a couple and how we will deal with the sexual element).  I'm perfectly fine if he's not in the life as well but I'm hoping that he will be understanding of the fact that a significant portion of my sexual arousal comes from divesting white men of the fallacy of white supremacy. 

If I'm creating the perfect partner and the ideal life together, I would like to us to share the perfect submissive together.  I would like it if we could find one white man who would belong to us, whose energies matches our own.  I don’t want a full time/live in sub, just one who could play when the need strikes us.  Since I’m using up all this manifesting energy, I should probably take the time to make out my own little list of all the things I’m looking for in an ideal submissive.  Finding my lover is the most important thing.  If he has no interest in dominating white men, I never have to dominate another white man as long as I live. 

Culturally he has to be super Black, Black-Black-blackety-black.  I don't care if he is as light skinned as Walter White (don’t ask, look him up), I need him to make Jesse Williams look like an arm chair activist.  He has to be committed to the liberation of Black minds.  My greatest fear is that I will find a man who is all the things I’m looking for and he won’t meet this one criteria.  I want him to love black art, and be knowledgeable about black history, and listen to jazz and love Alvin Ailey as much as I do but something in my gut tells me that the man who is created for me won’t be willing to confront racism with as much unapologetic fervor as I do.  I don’t want that to be an issue of contention for us.  It’s all speculation and conjecture because obviously I haven’t found anyone even close to meeting my standards yet but something tells me, I have a very strong FEELING, that this is the one thing that will challenge us most.

Politically, he has to be as left-leaning as one can get before falling off the scale and landing in Guantanamo.  I need a socialist who believes in helping the poor and the under-educated become self-sufficient.  Moderates are offensive to me.  Conservatives are repulsive and repugnant.  He has to see himself mirrored in people of all nationalities and colors around the world as well as fight for our unity, not our division. 

While he does not have to be as intellectual as I am, he must be well-read, he must be entertained by music and art and literature that is far beyond what the masses consume.  I want him to love to dance, and if he can salsa that would be a huge plus.  He not only has to read, he has to be captivated by my writing and want to devour everything I've ever written.  I want him to love the theater, and not those crappy Madea plays.  I want him to enjoy neo soul and rare grooves and world music and straight ahead jazz.  If he is well-versed in many topics and can speak about them articulately at dinner parties, I don’t need him to understand the fundamentals of quantum physics or explain the axiological parameters of indigenous consciousness.  I can discuss those things with academic colleagues. 

My man is creative/artistic.  I want him to be able to express himself with music or art or painting or sculpture or acting, hell, it can be jewelry making.  I can’t stand men whose only interests are sports and video games.  They bore me.  I want someone who is passionate about creating art.  My art is my writing.  I want to create art together.  I want to write songs together or a play or create some lasting and profound body of work that is our creative baby. 

Actually, I should re-order my list to make his emotional traits first.  To say that I want a man who is emotionally mature is an understatement.  He MUST be emotionally mature, first and foremost, not compromise.  He has to apologize when he’s wrong, he has to be able to communicate his concerns without projecting and deflecting blame or guilt.  He can’t be self-centered.  He has to know his issues and his triggers and be constantly working on them. He must be driven to evolve constantly.  His commitment to honesty and integrity is imperative.  I need an excellent, effective communicator.  He has to prioritize our relationship and understand that the minute he isn’t happy, he has to tell me so that we can decide if it’s time to move on or we need to change the dynamics of our relationship.  I am not tolerating a sexist, patriarchal, misogynist man.  He’s not like that at all.  I know him.  I feel him. 

Weed, or natural botanicals are the only drugs I’m comfortable with him doing.  We both drink alcohol in moderation.  I’m lacto-ovo pescatarian but I don’t mind a carnivore at all.  His food tastes have to be advanced beyond fried chicken wings from the Chinese spot, or the same boring foods that he eats over and over however.  A bit of a foodie would be awesome.  An organic foodie would be preferable.  My man has a unique sense of style.  He can wear a tuxedo and look damn good and wear jeans without looking like a 20-something rapper. 

One of the most essential traits for my man is that he can’t be intimidated by me.  He can’t be intimidated by my intellect, my activism, or by letting my star shine.  He has to be completely comfortable with the enigmatic being that I am and still see all the facets of me, even the fragile, insecure, damaged parts.  He has to be supportive and nurturing and be my biggest cheerleader. 

Notice I didn’t include car or job or income or wealth or house or any of those things.  Those things don’t matter to me.  Those things are truly superficial.  I would like a man whose aesthetic tastes are complimentary to my own so that one day, when we build a house together and furnish it, that it can be filled with the art and furnishings that we both love.  I would love our garden to feed all our friends and family and neighbors.  I would love to make love to him every single solitary day until we are old and ready to transition.  That’s my dream. 

Well, there you have it Universe.  I’ve put it out there.  If I can see it, I can achieve it.  Bring forth the manifestations of my desires to me now.  And so it is! 

The Law of Attraction for African Americans

The Secret.  The Law of Attraction.  Manifesting your Desires.  It’s called different things but it’s all based on the same principle that has been touted in every religion in the world.  “As a man thinketh, so is he.” Proverbs 23:7.  “What you think, you become.”  Buddha.   Secrets texts have been telling us for millennia that we create our reality with our beliefs.  But for lots of African Americans, the Law of Attraction seems to be more difficult to master than for other races. 

The Law of Attraction is based on the laws of physics.  Everything in the Universe is made up of atoms.  Look at your hand, it’s not really solid, it’s made up of billions of cells and each human cell is made up of 100s of trillions of atoms.  Atoms are energy vibrating at different rates that make things appear solid.  There is nothing solid, there is nothing “real”.  The building block for every single thing in the universe, tangible and intangible, is the atom, is energy.  The Universe is one big field of vibrating, pulsating energy.  We are that energy.  Our thoughts are that energy.  There is nothing that exists other than the cosmic soup of vibration.  God is not some Big White Sky Daddy who sees everything and punishes you if you sin but God is the consciousness that exquisitely orchestrates the blooming of the flowers in Spring and the birth of perfect little babies and all the vibrating atoms in the Universe that make our “perfect” reality, all the energy that is ALL THERE IS that creates our world. 

Our thoughts are vibrational.  Our BELIEFS about life, about how the Universe works, the things we know to be true shape our personal reality are just the energy we put out into the Universe. 

All people of color on earth are victims of a fallacious belief that Caucasians are inherently superior.  Because white people have convinced the overall collective consciousness that being a victim means being weak, being flawed, that being a victim means voluntarily choosing to be treated unfairly, there are some people reading who will automatically reject anything I say from here on out, they will vehemently deny that they are a victim of anything.  Being a victim means that someone has wronged you, there should be no shame in being a victim.  The only people who benefit from the concept of a victim meaning someone who is weak are people who seek to take advantage, use, and oppress other people.  I have no clue how or why the belief that white people are better has been perpetuated but it has been.  Some individuals have been affected by it more than others, some races have been more affected by its legacy than others.  So, when it comes to manifesting your desires, when it comes to your beliefs about the Universe, there has been no other race of people who feel more entitled to wealth, more entitled to stuff than white people.  From the minute they are born, everything in society, everything they are taught, exposed to, and learn is that their skin color makes them better than people of color.  Beauty standards say blond hair and blue eyes the most attractive.  Jesus is depicted as a white man.  God is depicted as a white man.  We’ve been falsely told that white men invented, created, and discovered every great thing on the planet.  Not only did they STEAL everything they claim to have invented, they have committed the greatest crimes against humanity in history to achieve their wealth, status, and achievements. 

It stands to reason that one manifests what they BELIEVE, if on attracts the things they think about, if follows that white people (and specifically white men) would feel that they are more deserving, more entitled to the things they want.  The law of attraction doesn’t respond to what we have earned, it doesn’t respond to how honest we are, it doesn’t respond to how much we have suffered or worked or sacrificed.  The Law of Attraction doesn’t even respond to your intellect or talent.  It responds to what we BELIEVE we deserve. 

African Americans have a unique history.   We were stolen from our homeland and our ENTIRE identities were decimated, our history was wiped out, our traditions, culture, our sense of personhood was replaced with the belief that we were nothing more than things to be bought and sold, subhuman.  We were convinced that our natural traits, like our hair, our skin color, our features, our religion, our bodies, even our names were repulsive and wrong.  No other race of people have had that sort of decimation to their identities.  I don’t say that as some sort of challenge to racists who want to assert that what that happened to Blacks wasn’t bad, nor is my objective to play Oppression Olympics with individuals who want to assert that what happened to other races was equally as detrimental.  NO OTHER RACE OF PEOPLE WERE TAKEN FROM THEIR HOMELAND, TRANSPORTED THOUSANDS OF MILES AWAY, ENSLAVED FOR THEIR PHYSICAL CHARACTERISTICS, AND STRIPPED OF ANY AND EVERY CONNECTION TO THEIR IDENTITY, PAST, HISTORY, CULTURE, TRADITIONS, AND RELIGION.  NO OTHER RACE OF PEOPLE WERE GENERATIONALLY SUBJECTED TO ABUSE BASED ON THEIR PHYSICAL CHARACTERISTICS BEING DIFFERENT FROM THEIR CAPTORS.  NO OTHER RACE OF PEOPLE OTHER THAN AFRICANS WHO WERE ENSLAVED AND THEIR DESCENDENTS ENDURED THEIR SENSE OF SELF BEING COMPLETELY ERASED, DENIED RIGHTS AS HUMANS, FORCED TO LABOR UNDER INHUMANE CONDITIONS, SUBJECTED TO HEINOUS PRACTICES LIKE RAPE AND SADISTIC TORTURE ROUTINELY, BOUGHT AND SOLD LIKE ANIMALS, AND TOLD THAT EVERYTHING ABOUT THEM WAS SICKENING.   The Holocaust was 7 years.  Jews did not have their history, identity, culture, or traditions ripped from them.  Their religion has remained the same for thousands of years.  Africans who were enslaved by other Africans were not enslaved for their physical characteristics.  You cannot degrade and shame a slave who has the same facial and physical features, if their appearance is the same.  Native Americans who were genocided in numbers that are sickening and horrific, were not transported from their homeland, their identities were not stripped from them.  So while their populations were destroyed, they have a history that is unique and original to them.  African Americans can make no such claims. 

African Americans, descendants of slaves, both individually and collectively have NO concept of where their home is.  They know the continent but not the place, not the region, not the country.  We do not know the traditions our ancestors practiced, the rites of passage or religious ceremonies our ancestors performed, we do not know what tribe we come from or what language they spoke.  NO OTHER RACE OF ENSLAVED PEOPLE CAN SAY THAT.    Why is that significant?  Because the African American identity is the youngest in the world.  It was created in slavery.  Every other race of people can trace their lineage back to some sort of creation story.  Our identity is the result of white people, again who feel superior and entitled in astronomically unbelievable ways, telling us that we were ugly, stupid, and inherently inferior.   We don’t have one single thing we can point to that allows us to have any connection to who and what we were before our ancestors were kidnapped and enslaved.  Again, why is that important?  Because our entire identities as a race of people is dependent upon the belief that was beaten into our ancestors that our blackness makes us inferior.  And as much as it pains some Black folk to acknowledge, every single solitary one of us is victim to a racist, oppressive, system that has deemed we are inferior. 

Slave mentality, as I define it, is the perpetuation of practices, beliefs, and ideologies that slaves learned at the end of a whip.  Slaves were told that light skinned women were prettier, had more value.  If a Black person today BELIEVES that light skinned women are prettier, if they BELIEVE that blond hair and blue eyes are prettier, they are slaves to a belief system that tells them that African hair and skin and features are ugly.  Changing and altering our NATURAL hair texture to be like that of our oppressor is slave mentality.  It is saying that our God-given hair is wrong and ugly.  That’s what slaves were told.  So when Beyonce sits in a hairdresser’s chair and has another person’s hair sewn in her head, she is reflecting the slave mentality that tells her that she has to be blond with long, flowing, straight hair in order to be beautiful just like slaves on the plantation heard over and over again, just like that was beaten into them.  When Black women get relaxers, when they change their natural hair texture to “be more manageable” what they are saying is, “My own natural hair is a bad texture and it needs to be straighter to be effectively controlled.”  That is slave mentality. 

Being Christian is slave mentality.   Africans who were enslaved, those who were kidnapped, transported, and survived the middle passage were not Christian.  They had religions that were vastly different than those of their white captors.  Slaves were beaten and killed for practicing their own religion.    They were beaten and tortured until they relinquished their God(s) and accepted Jesus as their lord and savior.  So when African Americans today say that they only BELIEVE in Christianity, that they are Christian because their grandparents were, they are slaves on the plantation.  Slaves, those born here, had no choice but to BELIEVE in the slave master’s religion.  They didn’t think to question Christianity’s validity because they were born into a system that told them that everything the white man said was right and that anything African was heathen, wrong, and bad.  Our ancestors who were transported here in slave ships, chained to the diseased, dead, and dying, didn’t think it was a blessing to worship this white God.  They fought to keep their traditions, practices, and cultures alive in secret.  Their children, born into the hell of slavery, beaten into believing that Christianity was the only right religion accepted Jesus because that’s what they white man told them they had to do, they believed that the white man’s word, his religion, his doctrine was all there was. 

Rape, abuse, violence, and torture were all tools white people regularly used to control slaves so mental slaves today BELIEVE that beating a child controls them, that power and control comes from violence.  Black parents beat their children, abuse them, and claim it’s for their own good exactly the way slave masters did.  Their need to overpower, subjugate, control, and manipulate their children is a manifestation of slave mentality.  Black men want to control something, anything, so they rape, molest, and abuse females in an effort to feel more powerful, to feel more like the white man, to control some aspect of their worlds where they can feel like they are the masters.  That is slave mentality. 

Everything that African Americans BELIEVE was born in slavery and is the by-product of slave mentality.  We BELIEVE that having more money makes us better people.  We BELIEVE that if our clothes have designer labels that we are somehow more valuable.  Black men BELIEVE that if their penis is larger, their skin is darker, they have more value because the Buck with the biggest dick, with the darkest skin sold for the most on the auction block. 

We are still slaves on the plantation. 

White people take their first breath in a world where they are told in every way that they are superior, that they are deserving and worthy of all that life has to offer.  Some, especially those with money, even if that money was gotten from stealing, embezzling, or cheating other people, believe that their life has more value, their the air they breathe is more sacred, that their very identity as white is as close to God as a person can get.  Poor white people are told the same messages but they don’t have the benefit of money so they TEND TO struggle with feeling worthy, deserving and entitled to things in the same way as middle and upper class whites do.  They are told that Black people, Mexicans, that every person of color is inferior to them. 

Let’s just pretend for a moment that no one said those things specifically to a white child.  Let’s just suspend reality for a little while and assume that in some little tiny corner of America, there is a white child that has grown up in a household where the parents have only said, “Color doesn’t matter, can’t we call get along, and Martin Luther King had a dream.”  That child is still the beneficiary of every single, solitary book they read depicts the hero who looks like them.  They turn on the TV and go to the movies where the good guy always looks like them.  They go to church and look up at a stained glass depiction of God that looks like them.  They turn on the news and the only faces they see represented as evil are brown and look nothing like them.  It doesn’t take parents burning a cross and saying, “I hate niggers,” for a white child to grow up with a fallacious sense of superiority.  All it takes is them going to school and the teacher teaching them that Columbus discovered America, that George Washington was the most honest President, that the first man on the moon was Neil Armstrong.  If you are a white male, you are told that every great invention in the last 2000 years comes from someone that looks exactly like you.  So can there be any question that white people, specifically white men feel more entitled to wealth, health, happiness, and anything their heart desires? 

Now, back to The Law of Attraction.  The LOA responds to your vibration, what you send out into the Universe.  Your thoughts become your reality, right?  So, African Americans have been born into a system, a culture where they BELIEVE that they are inherently inferior what is reflected back to them is what they BELIEVE.  Not everyone has the same degree of slave mentality and some, on an individual basis are even able to transcend the messages they are given, but the system of racism in America reinforces that Blacks are inherently criminal, inherently lazy, inherently stupid, and that we have to work twice as hard to get half as much.  Our beloved and well-intentioned foremothers and forefathers told us that we have to be perfect in order to get God’s favor, that we can’t have any sin.  We are told as a people that we can’t expect rewards on earth, that we have to wait for heaven to find freedom from pain and suffering.   We are taught to BELIEVE that everything white is right and that the closer we are to whiteness in our dress, our language, our carriage is better. 

The Law of Attraction is immutable, meaning it can’t be changed.  The Universe ABSOLUTELY gives you what you BELIEVE you deserve.  So, if you look around you and you are in a job you hate, you are in a an abusive relationship, if you are in debt with no way out, if your health is failing and you are miserable it’s because that’s what you BELIEVE you deserve.  The Law of Attraction does not respond to your karma, if you do bad things, if you are a criminal, the Law of Attraction doesn’t say, “No, no, no, you can’t have wealth and success and prosperity, you are being punished.”  The Law of Attraction doesn’t say, “You have to be super talented and a genius in order to acquire wealth and riches.”  Nope.  The Law of Attraction says, “Abracadabra!  If you BELIEVE you are deserving, worthy and entitled to whatever it is your little heart desires, you get it.” 

You have the same body temperature of David and Charles Koch.  Your lungs process the exact same air as Bill Gates.  With very few exceptions, everyone has the same respiratory, muscular, nervous, cardiovascular, skeletal, and neurological systems as every other human being and they operate in exactly the same way.  Every billionaire on the planet has cell’s that are comprised of the exact same genetic materials as you have operating in you right now.  There is nothing that makes rich people more deserving of wealth than their belief that they do.  There is nothing keep you from wealth other than your belief that you are undeserving.  There are dumb people who are filthy rich.  There are untalented people whose wealth is measured in millions.  There are criminals who have raped, murdered, stolen, cheated, manipulated, lied, coerced and deceived their entire lives and they are living in the lap of luxury.  Greedy people, selfish people, unenlightened people, a person’s character doesn’t determine their wealth.  The only thing that determines a person’s reality is their belief about their what they deserve. 

“That’s not true,” you say!  “What about people who are born into wealth, whose parents are rich before they are even conceived?”  The Law of Attraction says that if a person doesn’t BELIEVE that they are deserving of wealth, they will lose that wealth.  Children born into rich families are told that they are deserving for no other reason than just having breath in their lungs so that’s the reality they manifest as they get older.  They expect cars and drugs and whatever it is rich people think makes them better than everyone else and the Universe says, “Ask, and it is given.”  Really, the Universe says, “Believe and you shall receive.”  Whatever it is you BELIEVE you deserve is around you right now.  When you change your mind about what you believe you are deserving of, you change your reality. 

It’s not so easy for African Americans to change their belief systems.  It’s not impossible, it’s just not as easy as it is for white people to manifest a shift in consciousness where they get all their heart’s desires just from changing their vibration (Remember, the entire Universe if vibration, nothing more than atoms colliding around in space and nothingness).  Sure, you have Oprah and Michael Jordan and a ton of rappers and basketball players and entertainers and even some CEO’s and doctors and lawyers who are filthy rich.  But, for the vast majority of Black people we are trapped in a belief that we are undeserving of wealth, that the best we can hope for is to work a 9-5 and get a measly pension.  The most SOME Black people think that they best they deserve is doing something illegal to get a cash flow to pay the bills or buy whatever materialistic item they think gives them value.  Whatever you BELIEVE about your reality is the life you are living. 

Any people who are descended from slavery are going to have a more difficult time manifesting a loving relationship because our relationships were controlled by the slave master.  We can’t pass down healthy patterns to our children because the days of healthy patterns in our relationships were left on the shores of West Africa when our ancestors boarded slave ships.  We accept cheating and infidelity as the norm, we expect lying in relationships.  We don’t even have a concept of what a healthy relationship looks like so we continue to manifest all we know, relationships based on financial transactions and appearances.  If Black women BELIEVE that all men are good for is paying the electric bill in exchange for sex, guess what, all the men in our lives will use us for sex and give a few bucks for the gas and electric.   

What’s that you say?  “That’s not true, I want to be rich and I want a loving relationship.”  Unfortunately, the Universe doesn’t respond to what you want.  What do you BELIEVE you deserve?  Whatever is in your life right now is what you BELIEVE you deserve.  You might want to drive a Bentley and live in a 20-bedroom mansion but you BELIEVE you deserve to live in Section 8 housing and get food stamps.  You think that’s all you are worth in life, your core beliefs tell you that you are no better than that, that you can’t expect any more than that.  You can wish, hope, and dream, you can visualize and pray until your knees are ashy and crusty but until you BELIEVE that you are worthy of all that life has to offer, all the wealth and riches you want, until you know deep down in your heart that you can have anything and everything you desire just because you are a manifestation of the universal collective consciousness, you are going to get only what you BELIEVE you deserve. 

For some African Americans, like myself, we were the victims of physical, emotional, and mental abuse from our parents who literally beat into us that we were unworthy and undeserving just because we were born.  The relationship that was supposed to be the most nurturing, most loving, most supportive relationship we’ve ever had was . . . not.  For some Black people, like myself, our parents tried to beat our dreams out of us.  They wanted us to suffer as much as they were suffering inside.  They wanted us to pay for their pain.  They wanted us to conform and BELIEVE that we were unworthy.  So they imprinted on our subconscious minds with their beatings that we were wretched, unworthy, undeserving, and inherently bad.  The pain, frustration, rage, and anger of being Black all too often comes out in our parenting.  How many times have you heard a Black mother tell her son that he’s a dumb nigger just like his daddy?  She’s holding in the pain of her experience and inflicting in on her son.  Black mother’s do the same to their daughters if their daughters show signs of independence, that they aren’t going to be miniature versions of themselves.  In an effort to validate their pain, Black parents will beat their children and say, “I got worse beatings as a child and I turned out fine.”  No, you didn’t.  You are hurt and angry, and you haven’t manifested your dreams or desires. 

For some Black people, if our mother’s had particularly painful, difficult, and unwanted pregnancies, they started sending out the energy that we were unworthy and undeserving before we were even born, they imprinted into our DNA that we were inherently unworthy just for being born.  Thoughts are energy and the energy that some of our mothers sent to us as fetuses was that we were inherently bad.  I’ve worked for twenty years at the Law of Attraction.  I’ve written more journals, recited more affirmations, I’ve visualized, acted “as if”, I’ve done everything every Law of Attraction book, workshop, retreat, and conference has ever advised.  I STILL struggle with manifesting my desires.  I have to admit and acknowledge that I still hear my mother’s voice telling me that I’m nothing, that I will never be anything, that I’m destined to be a nobody my entire life.  I hear her telling me that she hated my father and that I’m just like him, meaning to my small child mind, that she hated me. (And she does hate me, she just didn’t come out and say it)  I’ve meditated, I’ve listened to recordings, I’ve done sweat lodges.  I’ve tried to be perfect, I’ve tried to release my desires, I’ve tried everything that I know how to do in order to manifest my desires.  I don’t have a clue what it’s going to take for me to BELIEVE that I’m deserving of all my dreams coming true, of having the relationship I want, of having my career finally take off, but one thing I know for sure is the Universe is vibrational and when I BELIEVE that I’m worthy, it will show up in my life. 

I’ve manifested my desires before.  I’ve done it several times.  There are books that will tell you that you have to be happy in order to manifest your desires, that you have to be appreciative of what you have before you can manifest wealth in your life.  I’ve been in an abusive relationship and depressed and trying to keep my head above water and manifested a way out before.  I wasn’t happy.  I wasn’t appreciative of the hell that I was going through at the time.  What I did have was a BELIEF that I deserved a decent apartment that I could afford to pay rent for myself without help from anyone.  I always got the job, I always got the perfect apartment, I always got exactly what it was I BELIEVED I deserved.  My slave mentality always limited what I got.  It wasn’t the best.  I never got the job paying $100,000 because I BELIEVEd that you had to have special talents, you had to work your way up; my reality always reflected my beliefs and that was that I was only deserving of slightly more than the bare minimum.  I deserved more than a ghetto reality but I certainly never BELIEVED that I was deserving of wealth.  Wealth is something my mother told me was only for people who were perfect.  That was her message to me, that formed my belief system.  She would beat me if I wasn’t perfect.  She would fly off into a rage if I wasn’t perfect.  She would withhold her love and tell me it was because I wasn’t perfect.  I’ve associated wealthy, prosperity, abundance, love, and success with perfection since before I even understood what any of those words meant. 

Let’s look at George W. Bush for a moment as it relates to the Law of Attraction.  He’s far from perfect.  He’s not at all intelligent, in fact, he’s the opposite of intelligent.  He doesn’t have any particular talent, he’s ruined every company he’s run.  He’s pretty much a complete and total screw up in the scheme of life.  But, he BELIEVED he was deserving of running the wealthiest country in the nation.  He BELIEVED he could manipulate the country into wars that made profits for he and his friends to become even more filthy rich.  It wasn’t an accident that he became the president, ballots in Florida notwithstanding, but it was his BELIEF that he was deserving of being president that made the Universe/God move heaven and earth, to do whatever had to be done, in order for him to be able to manifest his desires. 

If your football team doesn’t win, it’s because more players on the winning team felt deserving to win.  You play the lottery every week, hoping and praying that one day you will be one of the lucky ones.  Until you BELIEVE that you are deserving of winning, until you know in your gut that you deserve that kind of wealth, you won’t manifest a dag gone things.  The Universe gives you exactly what you BELIEVE you deserve. 

Most times, Black people don’t even know what our core beliefs are.  We have never thought about or questioned what we BELIEVE.  We certainly have never thought about the impact of slavery on our belief systems because we are ashamed of our slave past.  We BELIEVE that we truly were inferior and that white people were superior and if we even think about slavery it’s like admitting that we are second rate.  Never does it occur to Black people that it was actually white people who were inferior for kidnapping, enslaving, buying, selling, beating, raping, torturing, and murdering human beings simply because of the color of their skin. Nope.  We get up day after day after day, never thinking one time about what we BELIEVE we are deserving of.  We have a pattern we function off of.  We are deserving of the job we have, the income we get, we are only good enough to get the sort of housing we have. 

So how do some Black people become successful when most Blacks don’t?  They BELIEVE they are deserving.  They BELIEVE that their rapping skills are world class and worthy of a recording contract.  They BELIEVE that they are deserving of starring in a reality show.  The Universe always gives you what you BELIEVE.  I know some of you are screaming, “That’s not true! I BELIEVED with all my heart and soul that I deserved to be drafted in the first round of the NBA draft (or whatever your dream was) and I didn’t get it.”  Well, that’s because on some level, you didn’t BELIEVE you were worthy of it.  The people who acquire wealth and lose it don’t BELIEVE they are worthy of keeping it.  Their core beliefs tell them that they can’t keep the wealth they have amassed.  And it certainly becomes easier to BELIEVE you are worthy of wealth the more wealth you get.  That’s why the rich keep getting richer, they BELIEVE they are deserving of more money. 

Every once in a while, there are anomalies.  Every once in a while you’ll find someone who has overcome the most horrific past, who didn’t have loving and supportive parents who told them they could accomplish anything, every once in a while there will be a story of great triumph and accomplishment that seems like it defies all the odds.  I think, suspect, can’t be sure but it seems reasonable to me that those people made a contract to bring a message to the world before they were born and the Universe moves heaven and earth despite their belief systems.  I can’t explain those few instances, it’s not my area of expertise.  My area of expertise is how African Americans formed their collective consciousness. 

So, every human being on the planet is deserving of wealth.  Not just some people, not just lucky people, not just the talented intelligent ones.  And the Universe will give wealth abundance, prosperity, and success to anyone who BELIEVEs they deserve it.  EVERYONE.  “There’s not enough money in the world for everyone to be rich.”  Sure there is.  The Universe is vibrational, it can create anything.  We can create anything because we are the Universe.  We are the exact same atoms and vibrations that exist in every other thing that exists.  The only reason everyone on the planet is not super wealthy is because they BELIEVE they are deserving of the circumstances they were born into. 

Do I think everyone deserves wealth and abundance?  Unquestionably, YES!  Should everyone manifest wealth immediately?  Probably not.  I think that people of African descent should experience some sort of liberation from their slave mentality before they manifest wealth.  How judgmental does that sound?  Very.  I acknowledge that.  But everyone reading this has to remember that we are victims (not a bad word) of a brainwashing and conditioning that is unhealthy for us.  I would love for us to release at least one stronghold that Eurocentric culture has imposed on us.  I want us to be healthy spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and psychologically, not just financially.  Capitalism is a manifestation of Caucasian greed, the entire system was created to further their belief that they were more deserving than anyone else.  If everyone were to start manifesting wealth and abundance, if everyone were to become rich overnight, there would still exist within people of African descent born in America a mentality of dysfunction.  Being healed shouldn’t be a prerequisite of being wealthy, and it’s not.  The Universe doesn’t care if you are emotionally or mentally healthy, but there are consequences for everything and without a modicum of healing, the Universe and all the energy contained within is going to have an equal and opposite reaction to the imbalance of financial versus spiritual growth. 

OK, so let’s get to manifesting, shall we?  First and foremost, we have to start believing that we are deserving of bigger and better things.  We have to start believing that we are deserving of a better job than one that just pays the bills and we’re miserable.  We have to start believing that we are better than the abusive relationships that we keep manifesting.  Let’s start affirming together, “I am deserving of true and abiding love, a relationship that nurtures and fulfills me.”  Keep repeating it.  Say it over and over until ugly stuff about your past comes up.  Keep saying it until you pass the tests that you keep getting where you keep making the same mistakes over and over again.  Tell yourself that you are beautiful in your soul, that you deserve anything you want just because you have breath in your lungs.  Be appreciative of the things you have, give thanks, those things are great.  But the most important thing for you to do is BELIEVE that you are deserving. 

I AM deserving of Love. 

I AM deserving of wealth.

I AM deserving of a better car. 

Visualize your life with your new car but do more than that.  Don’t just see yourself with a new car, tell yourself that you don’t have to do, be, or earn a damn thing in order to have it that you deserve it just because you are alive, just because you have breath in your lungs, just because you want it.  You tell the Universe, “HEY!  Give me my stuff.  I deserve it.  I’m worthy of the things I want for no other reason than I want them.”  Tell yourself that you are beautiful, that you are smart, that you are a nice person.  Tell yourself that even though you’ve made mistakes that doesn’t mean you aren’t deserving.  Wrap yourself in love.  Tell your inner child, tell yourself as a child that you are infinitely deserving.  Make it your mantra and let’s see how fast the Universe moves heaven and earth to bring us our desires. 

Ashe

Copyright 2015 Scottie Lowe All Rights Reserved