I am a Black woman and I’m
EXHAUSTED from dealing with, having to conform to, and being choked by the booted-foot
of your arrogant oppression. I regret to
inform you that if you are born on this planet in this millennia and you are
white, you are racist. Period! Racism isn’t just defined by wearing a sheet
and burning a cross and saying that you hate niggers, it’s the system of
fallacious beliefs that makes you believe that you have a right to have the
last word, that you and people who look like you can determine what’s better
for others, what’s the right religion, what’s the best form of government, and that
you can conquer, control, and annex any country you want. Feigning indignation, quoting the one half
line you think you know from Martin Luther King, or telling me that I’m racist
because I’m calling you out on your bullshit does not and cannot negate that
fact. I will speak my mind and say what
I want, when I want, in whatever tone I choose and if it’s something that you
don’t like, I invite you to kiss my entire black ass . . . all of it. I’m not going to cower in the corner when you
try to put me in my place; we are not on the plantation any longer.
I’m more than just the ghetto,
sassy, neck-rolling caricature you think a Black woman is. Yes, I am strong, yes I am powerful, resilient,
and proud but I also have fears, insecurities, and I am choked with depression
from having to deal with the fallacy of white supremacy every god damn
day. I crave the sensation of being
loved by a man who has broken the chains of mental slavery and who knows that
his identity is not tied to getting acceptance from anyone who looks like you,
someone who knows that he is more than just a big black cock to satisfy your
racist sexual fantasies. I ache seeing the collective unhealthy
behaviors of my people, knowing that they are victims of a system of racism
that has intentionally disadvantaged them merely because of the color of our
skin.
I’m drained by your “secret” (in
plain sight) maniacal obsession with our sexuality because you see us as
savages yet you cheer for our slaughter in the streets, you celebrate our
deaths in public. I’m sick and fucking
tired of telling you over and over again that your desire to have sex with us
does not indicate that you have been absolved of racism, it doesn’t even mean
you’ve addressed it. I despise you
telling me that I’m a credit to my race because I’m intelligent and
articulate. If you hadn’t been so intent
on under-educating us, we would all be intellectually superior to you. I use to think that we were all equal, given
the same opportunities, but the more I’m exposed to you, the more I clearly see
your collective insanity, the more I see how your delusions of grandeur, your
need to hold on to the status quo where you are considered superior, have
ruined our society, our nation, our collective consciousness. I no longer believe we are all equal. I see
you as inferior. I see in the same light
as a spoiled, bratty child who has to have his way and who throws temper
tantrums when they don’t get undue adulation.
You want to know what will ease
my burden? Stop telling me that all
lives matter when you know good and god damn well that you only believe that
white lives do. I don’t want to be like
you so you can let that delusional notion go.
I don’t think your blond hair and your blue eyes are more
attractive. I don’t want my skin to be
lighter; I don’t want my hair to blow in the wind like a shampoo commercial. I
have less than no desire to alter my features to be have a pointy little nose
or hideously thin lips. I will die, I
will take my own life before I worship a God that is made in your image.
I have a big ass, I love my big
ass, but that does not mean I’m going to put it on display for you to ogle and
objectify me nor does it mean that my self-worth or self-esteem is determined
by how tight I can wear my clothing to show it off. And you’re mother fucking skippy that I’m
better in bed than white women because I’m not burdened with having to pretend
I’m asexual all the time, I’m not defined by my ability to please a man, and I’m
secure in my identity as a Divine BLACK Goddess who does not want or need to
compartmentalize my sexuality. I’m FREE. I’m not shackled by your standards, morals,
or beliefs.
I will not apologize for the
dysfunctional behaviors of my race because they are borne of centuries of
oppression. What’s your excuse? Why is it that your race is more criminal, greedier,
more ruthless and sadistic, more drug-addicted, more deviant and perverse than
any other? Because you’ve had too much
privilege and entitlement? Because
you’ve been falsely told since you were born that all that is good in the world
comes from someone who looks like you? Well, I hate to break it to you. All that is good in the world came from
someone who looked like me and that was stolen by someone who looked like
you. I know, you’ve never been told that
so you don’t believe it but it’s not my job to educate you or ease your
guilt.
So, white world, it seems we are
at a stalemate. You want and need me to
be a slave on the plantation, afraid of your wrath, silenced by your command,
and an object for you to lust after in secret and I refuse to fit in your tiny
box, I refuse to be defined by you. I
want you to see my humanity, to acknowledge my differences and respect them; I
would love for you to work to divest yourself of the fallacious beliefs that
have been ingrained in you. Something
has to give and I can assure you that my will, my integrity, my ability to
survive is much stronger than yours.
This, I promise you.
