The Big Lie

 

I have always known I wasn’t free in this society, racism is a prison in and of itself.  I’ve always known that my progress and self-actualization were influenced by racism. I didn’t understand the depth and complexity of my enslavement until 2021. Now, I know that I’m a slave in this reality. I am but a mere pawn in a game of exploitation and deceit, an insignificant piece in a racist game where I don’t know the rules, where the rules change, where the rules I’ve been given actually hurt me and benefit others in ways I can’t comprehend. It’s apparent to me that the Big Lie has nothing whatsoever to do with the election of Agolf Twitler but rather the massive and magical manipulation of time and consciousness that distorted history and turned people of African descent into beasts of burden for white exploitation. 

I know deep in my soul that there is no way in hell that the history of this country, the timeline that we have been force-fed, is accurate which means no history is correct, it means that all history is “his story”, made up, constructed to distort the truth.   I know that this country, its cities, building, it’s infrastructure had to be established, built, constructed long before the accepted timeline that the United States educational system taught me. I know that current technology is far more advanced than we have been told. I know that there exists a different dimension where my actions here unknowingly benefit or enrich others in ways that I’m unaware of.  The system is built to exploit and oppress and I’m a pawn. 

What little I know, I know is unfair.  

Our Black Wound

Our Black Wound can be defined as the source of our pain, it's the origin of how we have coped with being Black in a society that hates us. Obviously, our individual Black Wound is individual and unique to us, it’s from a personal experience that shaped our world view and formed our personality, our compensation for our defect, being born the wrong color. Our individual Black Wound was inflicted by our families, our communities, and our personal experiences in life. Our collective Black Wound originated in slavery. Our collective Black Wound was inflicted by society. Our collective Black wound is based on centuries of the false belief that we are inferior.

It's hard to identify our own wounds. We can barely identify our own coping mechanisms to deal with our wounds, it's virtually impossible to identify our wounds themselves. We've been told that not being a perfect person makes you a bad person. There is no such thing as perfection but the belief that perfect can be attained and that it's our choices, it's our inherent stupidity or unattractiveness, or it's . . . our Blackness that keeps us from being perfect, that belief that we aren't perfect and it's our fault that we aren't and that we are worthless unless we are perfect - that is the belief that keeps us tied to suffering.

Our Black Wound, in our mind, is the experience, event, the circumstances that first let us know that who we are as a person is not good enough, that the skin we come in is not Grade A. We don't have to have just one Black Wound but we carry those wounds with us for our entire lives, festering, infected, untreated, and malignant.

It's almost impossible to identify your Black Wound by yourself. The part of your brain that sees your own flaws and fuck ups, it has been told time and time again that you're born a sinner, that you are a piece of shit just for taking a breath. That belief, the belief that we are inherently bad people, distorts the mirror so to speak, it creates and image of perfection for us to behold. It’s not that we are unable to see our own flaws, we have been socialized in a society that thinks glamor and the perception of perfection give a person more value. So when we look in the mirror, metaphorically, what your subconscious mind allows you to see is someone who is right and good and perfect, and everyone else who doesn't "look" (i.e. think, believe, love, party, vote, pray) like you is wrong. It's a piece of cake to readily identify everyone else's wounds, society has taught us to name everyone else's flaws and faults and failures but that mirror is really foggy when we look in it.

We have to identify our Black Wound. We have to identify the way in which we cope with that internalized hatred and shame. Do we only date white people? Do we make sure we speak proper English in front of white people to make sure they know we aren't . . . one of those niggers? Do we just give up trying to better ourselves and rot in complacency because we can't imagine that we deserve better than the fucked up life we have been given?

There are a million ways we use to cope. Some brothas lie, cheat, and make a million and two babies to hide the fact that they don't know how to ask for love, they can't say that they're afraid, they can't admit to feeling weak. Sistas readily embrace being objectified and used by men as a sign of empowerment to keep from feeling objectified and used by the perpetrators who want nothing more than to hurt and violate us. Too many of us bust our asses working on the corporate plantation, convinced that it's the measure of our security, identity, and relative importance in life if we get a good performance review at a job we hate; that we need that pension and that paycheck to be valuable human beings in life. We bust our asses to make rich white people richer review while we are barely surviving. All those behaviors are coping mechanisms for the Black Wound. It's time to heal the Black Wound. It's time to clean and dress it so that we can become healthy.

We have all kinna Black Wounds and coping mechanisms to hide them. What we need are treatments to heal our Black Wounds. We need medicine. We need therapy. We have to face and accept that all of us have Black Wounds because we live in a society that has historically hated our melanin.

And, unfortunately, for those of us who are champions of karmic justice and retribution, you cannot have a white wound. It is impossible for you to have an emotional wound associated with your whiteness when whiteness is fallaciously revered around the world as being superior. Do you understand how being able to feel safe and secure in your skin, knowing that you can go anywhere in the world and people will respect you for no other reason than the color of your skin is something that Black people simply can’t do.

Reality

Every single day, without fail, I have white men convey to me that they don't think any other white men in the known universe wants to be sexually submissive to Black men. They don't seem to be as freaked out about being submissive to Black women, and know that are countless numbers of white men who are, but it's just that every white man on the planet seems to have convinced themselves that to be a white man means that it's impossible, it's inconceivable, it's entirely unfathomable for the very concept of a "real" white man to be attracted to being sexually submissive to Black men. They seem to be convinced that they are unique, rare, that it's an anomaly in the space/time continuum for them to want to be a faggot slut to Black men, which is exactly what they want. They frame their desire for Black men in language that takes the responsibility off of them. "I want to be raped . . .I need you to force me, brainwash me, blackmail me." They're convinced that REAL white men would never want to be cuckolds, real white men would never want to be submissive to Black people, they hold on to the belief that they are inferior because they want to be sexually submissive to Black men and a real white man would never even contemplate being a bottom bitch to a Black man.

Here's the deal. Every white man with a little dick wants to be submissive to Black men because we live in a society that :

Despises, loathes, hates, and abhors Black men

Praises hypermasculinity

Defines manhood by the number of inches between your legs

Socializes Black men to see themselves as giant, aggressive dildos

Perpetuates the fallacy of white supremacy

Presents scripted TV as the false reality of how people act, think, and behave.

Possessing a big(ger) dick does not mean white men are exempt from their secret lust for Black dick, but it's impossible for little dick white men, who define themselves in this society by their wallet, their power, and the number of inches between their legs, NOT to be driven to manacle obsession with being sexually submissive to Black men because they know for a fact that they don't measure up according to society's standards. How many white men have little dicks? Hmmm, well, I don't think Mitch McConnel, Bill Gates, Donald Trump, or Lindsey Graham have more than a foot of dick combined so you tell me.

You want to know what's real? Porn. Specifically, amateur porn shows you the real world and how people interact in it.

On social media, the entire world erupts in horror, indignation, and disgust at the mere mention of pedophilia, we castigate Matt Gaetz and that Epstein guy. Go on Pornhub. There are ads for CGI pedo sites everywhere, there have been for decades. Where are the online petitions to shut those sites down? Where are the news exposes covering the companies producing this content? No where to be found. You know why? Because behind closed doors, in this society, the truth is, the reality is, pedophilia is so widespread it's a pandemic, a plague infecting every facet of our society. Read the comments on videos with not even covert porn names like Yung something or other, or whatever code words they use to put videos of women who look like children on the internet. Do people say the same thing on Twitter as they do on YouPorn? No, they sure as hell don't because white people compartmentalize their sexuality, it's not real unless it's on Facebook.

Dig deeper. Go on the sites like this one, Fetlife, like Motherless, and Thisvid, Efuct, etc., and the sites that show more extreme porn. The incest videos consistently trend at the top. The top trending videos on dark and depraved websites are always incest, rape, murder even, and all manner of things that society shuns. And it's all there. Not one or two videos a day. Tens of thousands, 100s of thousands of pornographic images are uploaded hourly to the world wide web showing white people doing sexual acts that they themselves then go on mainstream websites and decry as oh so shocking and offensive.

People are posting videos of themselves doing heinous, evil, reprehensible things. The comments are never, "That's outrageous, I'm offended, I'm going to report you." The comments are, "That bitch deserves it. I need a cunt I can destroy like that," or, "Any nasty mothers out there that want to play, DM me." There's no need to hide it because the disconnect from reality makes people believe that the people who comment on Twitter and YouTube are not the same people who watch women getting fucked by dogs or eat shit.

I stopped watching porn about a month ago because on ThisVid I saw videos of Eastern European women fucking and shitting on dolls who were the exact same shape and size of newborns. It's not hard to grasp that they are trying to entice people to fuck infants. I had never even looked at 3D cartoon porn before 2021. What I found when I looked at it was horrifying. There were professionally produced videos with Disney characters and other popular cartoon characters, doing HEINOUS things. They weren't just fucking, they were doing degrading and violent acts, far more extreme than even what's allowed to be posted on the more mainstream sites. You can't post a video of a human being engaged in scat on XHamster, my porn site of choice, but you sure as hell can post a video of a cartoon character shitting in a Minecraft character's mouth. Children, preteen children exposed to porn will gravitate to that content, they have predators showing them those videos intentionally. Disney can find someone using their images on YouTube and delete them but they have never once thought to look for their images on a porn site? Give me two fucking breaks.

Of course Disney, Fox, and every media executive know that every porn site has porn videos with their copywritten images on them but they don't care because they want us to think that porn is disconnected from reality. They want us to believe that white people are moral, righteous, just, vanilla, when white people are . . . NOT. Any society that tells people that sex is bad, dirty, wrong and shameful is going to produce sexual deviants. That's the plan's design.

See My Humanity

 White people don’t see Black people as human. White people are, in fact, incapable of seeing us as human beings. White people don’t empathize with our pain because they don’t see us as equals. White people see us as sex objects, as minimum wage workers, as entertainers and athletes, and as inherently inferior, a sub-human species. That’s been the programming for centuries. We have darker skin and fuller features, our hair is different so they can look at us an see something other than what they are, a human being.

What’s always astounded me is the fact that white people can have such empathy and compassion for animals and yet the same white people who shed actual real tears over a dog in a dog fight or an animal killed on safari will cheer, they will openly applaud a Black person being killed by the cops. As much as it pains me to state the obvious, animals are a truly a different species to homo sapiens. There’s no way you can confuse an animal for a person yet white people will fall apart at a video of an animal being abused. When a Black person is murdered for the unforgiveable crime of being Black, white people donate money to the killer and go on full troll mode, purposefully seeking out Black people online who are outraged and hurt, only to inflict more hurt, to taunt and torment them by saying that that Black person’s life DESERVED to be taken for driving with expired tags or for smoking a cigarette or whatever lame excuse white people use for slaughtering us.

Not all white people love animals more than Black people though, right? Some white people torture and murder animals. See what I did there? You were expecting me to talk about the great white people who aren't racist. That's the programming. You expect whiteness to be exalted as superior. More to the point, it’s not like the animal killers love Black people. They are the ones who are torturing and killing animals, practice for killing Black people. How can I say that? As much as it pains me to say, I’m Black, I know white people. I know how evil they are, I know how much they hate us. I know white people in ways white people can never possibly know us because you are our predator and we have to know you in order to survive. White people, without having read one book by a Black author, without having seen a play, never having any exposure to blackness whatsoever, white people are convinced they know everything about us, our lives, our motivations. Black people have a deeper understanding of white people because you force your culture and norms down our throats and because if we don’t know exactly what type of white person we are dealing with, it could be fatal. It's like how Black people know to distrust cops because there are far more bad apples than white people acknowledge. We know that the TV shows and movies that show white people as the heroes and saviors, saving the day with their inherent goodness are all BULLSHIT.

This new wave of anti-racism is interesting. First and foremost, just like saying, “I’m not racist,” saying, “I’m anti-racist,” doesn’t make it so. “Woke” white people, the infinitesimally small and rare occurrence of them, are CONVINCED, beyond a shadow of a doubt, they are not racist because they follow Black people on Twitter and they proclaim how horrible it is to see those videos of Black people being murdered. And it is. It’s heart wrenching to see Black people’s lives being snuffed out because society says our lives aren’t worth anything. But for me, when I see those videos, Black people begging and pleading for their lives, terrified, I see me. I see my family, my cousins, my uncles and aunts, I see my brothers and sisters. I could easily be a hashtag. All day, every day, I’m in danger of being hashtagable because my skin is melanated. White people, even the ones who proclaim to be anti-racist, can never be hashtagable in this society because this society is set up to see them as the norm. White people see a Black person being murdered and they don’t see their loved one being murdered, they see “other.” They say, “Oh, it’s such a tragedy and I’m sorry I didn’t realize it before.” The key sentiment is that before ". . . I hated Black people and looked down on you previously but I wasn't overt about it but now I’m a good person.” And then when they close their laptop, social justice is done, back to white reality where they don’t have to think about Black pain and they certainly don’t feel it.

Should they? Should white people feel the pain of Black people who have been murdered like animals in the street, their lifeless bodies on display as a message to other Blacks, “Stay in your place or you’re next.” No, no one should have to feel that sensation. I want a life where I don’t have to feel that dread, that ache, that hopelessness. That’s what the cops want us to feel, the fear that we are next, it’s paralyzing and debilitating and that’s the entire purpose of slaughtering us for minor infractions. The power structure knows that we will be forced to hide our pain, suppress our fear, alter our behavior in order to survive our next encounter with the police. Whiteness wins every time a video of a Black person being murdered is shown because no matter how empathetic and woke white people are, they aren’t inviting anyone who looks like Rayshard Brooks or Amhad Aubrey to their dinner table. To their bed? Sure, Blacks are great at sex. But are those white people hiring more Blacks at their jobs, or standing up for the inherent injustice that is built into the very fabric of out society? Not at all. But every Black person who sees those videos wonders if they could be next.

When white real estate agents start outing the racism in their industry, when woke white people who work at Jiffy Lube or Just Brakes or the electric company expose the blatant racism built into their policies, when white people put themselves in jeopardy, when they have skin in the game, that is when their activism is authentic. When white people start calling out their bosses, the people who sign their paychecks, for the inherent racism built into their workplace, then I’ll be convinced of their sincerity. Now, it’s all empty platitudes and lies. Where are the woke nurses calling out the racism inherent in hospitals? Oh no, can’t do that. That would threaten their livelihood. It’s better to just be woke online, on a profile that doesn’t have your name or picture, where you pretend you are horrified at racial injustice and you go to work and you contribute to the disease of racism with your actions and your silence.

The other side of the table are the white people who hate Black people and blackness and they will scour every word I write, finding one sentiment that perhaps I didn’t articulate well or, more likely, find offense at one fact that they think they can dismantle because they believe themselves to be intellectually superior. Of course white people believe that they are smarter than Blacks, it’s how you’ve been conditioned. You feel it’s your responsibility to come on my page and critique and dismantle anything I say about racism or whiteness because I can’t possibly be as smart as you and you can’t let me think I’m smarter. We can’t have those negroes thinking that they can talk shit about the system that allows white people to work less and get paid more, that allows them to commit crimes and then act self-righteous and indignant at a Black person committing a crime to survive.

I’ve yet to meet the Wall Street exec who had to steal to put food on his table but I promise you that I’ve had a half a million of them tell me how criminal Black people are with no sense of irony whatsoever. And he commits more crimes before noon on a daily basis than I’ve committed in multiple lifetimes. White people who do drugs, commit crimes, have criminal delinquent children and are in the most dysfunctional relationships possible will come on this very post and proceed to tell me that I’m wrong about my perception of racism and whiteness because they know more than me. Promise.

I’m not asking white people to love me. I’m not asking for special favors or privileges. I want the exact same special privileges and favors white people get. That’s it. I want Black people to have the exact same privileges, points, perks, bonuses, and rights as white people have. We deserve to have the exact same things that you have because we are human beings, just like you. And the irony is, white people don’t have to give up a damn thing for that to happen. White people don’t have to give up any privileges and favors, they don’t have to become the unwanted of society, they don’t have to trade places with us and become the inferiors. I want to know that my skin will not cause me to be a target. I want to know that my life, my talent, my contributions have value in this society. That’s not asking too much.

Even if I don’t make a mother fucking contribution to society, my life still has value. I want white people to feel pain when they see yet another hashtag and not say, “Oh, it’s so bad that happens to Black people,” but rather say, “Why is this happening to US, why is this happening to me?” See me as a human being. See me as the same as you. Feel my pain. Feel it as your own. Feel the death of . . . whoever the latest Black person murdered was today, as a member of your family. They are. We are all human beings. We deserve more respect than a dog. We cry, we feel pain, we suffer challenges, we are fucking human beings.

The inequity that white people have created in this society is most highlighted by the homeless. I’ve never lived in Idaho or Wyoming, I don’t know what the racial makeup of those places are. I have lived in NYC, Baltimore, sort of Philly (an hour commute away) and Atlanta. I’ve visited a dozen or more other major metropolitan cities in my lifetime, nationally and internationally. The overwhelming and vast majority of homeless people are Black. Not by accident. Not because of any individual or collective choice that they’ve made. Black people are disproportionally homeless because white people don’t see us as humans.

White people make mistakes. They are forgiven. No, that’s not accurate. They are not forgiven, that implies some level of remorse or accountability. White people don’t normally have to feel remorse for their mistakes because society has told them that they are the alpha and the omega. Mistakes don’t define white people. If a Black person is homeless, we say it’s because of their poor choices. Is it? Did they decide to be born Black in a society that despised Blackness? Did they choose to be born poor in a country where a person’s wealth determines their worth as a human being? Did they choose to be undereducated by a system that wants to keep Blacks poor and uneducated? No, they didn’t. Did they choose to seek housing in a real estate market where white men think nothing of cheating, lying, and manipulating to build wealth as the expense of Black people’s safety? No, of course they didn’t make those choices. They were pawns in a game that hates Black pawns. Every facet of society is intended to CREATE Black homeless people, to step over them with an air of indignation and superiority. “I didn’t make the poor choices you made so I’m better than you.”

I’ve been homeless several time in my life. Well, I’ve been without shelter a few times in my life, I’ve lived with friends, slept on sofas, I’ve lived in hotel rooms for weeks on end because I didn’t have an address but I don’t consider that homeless. I’ve had two occasions where I had no residence, no place to go for several days. It was terrifying, not in the physical safety sense. That was draining and stressful. The terrifying part was the voices in my head that told me that I was flawed as a human being because I wasn’t living in a four-bedroom McMansion with granite counter tops and his and hers walk in closets. Wanna take a guess how man woke white people are living like that right this minute and have no concern or care for the homeless? More than can be counted.

In the early 90s, I remember I had just separated from my husband, I was depressed and scared; he had just told me he had one woman pregnant and he was in love with another woman and that he never wanted the reconciliation that he had told me he wanted for two months. I ended up on a 72-hour psych hold because I got drunk as hell and I was walking the streets crying and screaming like a crazy woman. When I was released, I didn’t have a place to go. My best friend was without an address and sleeping on someone’s floor at the time. He offered to let me sleep on her floor while she was at work for a few hours a day until we could find an apartment and move in together. For three ofr four days, I walked the streets of NYC all night, waiting to take the train to Brooklyn in the morning so I could I get a little rest. You can’t rest. When you don’t have a place to lay your head, your brain doesn’t stop working, telling you that you’re a failure. My friend was an immensely talented, brilliant Black man. (He died.) I am an immensely talented, brilliant Black women. Did we both end up without an address because of some inherent flaw within us. NO! The system is built to foster whiteness and neither of us was born with that benefit.

The other time was when I was living with a . . . man I had loved for 7 years. He wasn’t a boyfriend, we weren’t even in a relationship. He was an individual with whom I had a complicated and dysfunctional relationship that consisted mostly of me loving him and him loving light skinned women and him loving how I made him feel for two weeks a year . . . for 7 years. After the two weeks were over, he would say something hurtful, leave, and come back a year later. Whatever one calls that, that’s what we had. I moved out of his place in Chicago, drove back to Atlanta, and didn’t have a place to stay for a few days. I ended up sleeping in my car in the parking lot of a 24 hour Home Depot for a few nights. I honestly can’t even tell you where I ended up living after that. I can tell you that being without shelter didn’t define me. I had just finished writing what will be (or what may be already in another dimension) the most amazing stories of my life. I knew I was an amazing writer with a voice that deserved to be heard even while I was trying to hide from the cops to get me to move my car. Me not having a home in that moment didn’t change any of those things. I didn’t automatically become stupid, or untalented, or lazy because I didn’t have a home. Nothing about me changed other than the fact that I didn’t have a support system or an income to provide for the basics. Being homeless didn’t mean that I made bad choices. It means that society is built to keep me, all Black people oppressed. Period.

Every homeless person has a story. Every homeless person is a human being deserving of respect and an opportunity to provide for themselves. The American system is set up to keep homeless people homeless because they are the plague that everyone loves to decry is so unfortunate but you don’t lose a minute’s sleep over it because you have a bed, you have a car and a fridge full of food so you NEVER have to think about homeless people if you don’t want.

We, collectively, as a society, look at homeless people in the exact same way white people see Blacks. “It’s their fault they are in that situation and it doesn’t affect me, it’s not my problem. It’s sad and unfortunate and I have to pretend to be concerned because I know that society expects me to show compassion but in all honesty, when I don’t see them, I don’t give a fuck about them one way or the other, they never enter my consciousness, their existence doesn’t change my reality.”

The white people who think they are anti-racist and oh so woke don’t care about Black people, they care about the perception that they are racist. They don’t see the humanity of Black people all of a sudden, they see their shame that they were virulent racists and didn’t realize it. There is so much narcissism in white people proclaiming their wokeness and posting about Black Lives Matter.

I’ve said it 1000 times. The worst thing you can call a white person is racist. There is no greater insult. White wokeness is a response to that, it’s the way white people can say, “Look at me, I’m not racist.” Ask a woke white person to invite a homeless person into their home for dinner, give them a place to stay, let them sleep on your couch for a few months and help them get on their feet. You’ll get the, “It’s not safe . . . mental issues . . . my job . . . my children,” all those arguments.” Without knowing one homeless person, without knowing if they had a fucked-up husband who cheated on them or a racist employer who fired them, white people will blanketly disparage homelessness and blackness because they don’t see us as human. No human being deserves to sleep on the street or in a shelter where the admins are going home to huge houses and profiting from their pain.

I’ve done it. I’ve had homeless people stay with me in my home to help them. One was an extraordinarily gorgeous man, one was a mentally ill woman who could sing like an angel. They didn’t rape me or steal from me. I never felt in danger because I see myself in them. I saw them as human beings deserving of help. I’ve fed homeless people out of the trunk of my car at midnight because I worked as a concierge at a luxury condo and I would take the food when I got off at midnight and go to the church around the corner from my apartment. When I lived in NYC, one brotha named Carlos was in love with me because I would give him money every day, stop, and talk to him. He went to jail once for a few months and I was panicked. I asked every employee in the bank where he slept what happened to him, I asked the newspaper guy who literally was 5 feet away from him every day. No one even knew who he was, let alone his name. We treat the homeless like lepers, like they are deserving of living like that because we are a heartless, shallow, self-centered nation. A racist nation on top of that which looks at Black people as is their skin is a crime. The crime is whiteness and what it’s done to create the belief that only people with white skin deserve respect, accolades, pleasure, and opportunity.

As long as white people don’t see Black people’s humanity, nothing is going to change. Until you see that we laugh, we cry, we bleed, we fear, we love in the exact same way as you, until you have compassion and empathy for our unique and individual stories, until you see our HUMANITY, until you acknowledge that we deserve to have everything that you have, a life with minimal, third world stressors like your water heater broke or you have to carpool with your spouse because your car is in the shop, then nothing is going to change.

My ideal white submissive

 

I now know on an intrinsic, or at least I’m trying to accept on some level, that it’s not possible for me to get what I want.  I’m a pawn in a fucked up, racist game, not a special pawn, just a piece on the board.  They can’t stop me from dreaming though.  I know I’m an extraordinary Domme and I deserve someone compatible with me who appreciates and values all that I bring to the table.  I’m holding out hope for the great Black reset and a new consciousness however manipulated by the powers that be my perspective on that may be.  If BDSM still exists in my new reality, I want a submissive of my own, long-term, who fits me perfectly. 

My ideal submissive is approximately 55 years old.  I’m not interested in anyone significantly younger than that and for me to consider anyone in their late 40s they would have to not only meet but far exceed every other criteria.  I need him to be single or divorced.  He should be 6’ tall and I’ll get him in shape physically if he’s not already.  He should be attractive.  So, it’s a little slippery slope to say I want a white submissive to be attractive because, first and foremost, attraction is subjective.  I am not generally attracted to white men so it’s sort of disingenuous and hypocritical for me to say that I want one who is attractive.  I need someone who is attractive because I need him to represent me.  I’m elegant, sophisticated, I command attention wherever I go and I need someone who can withstand that sort of scrutiny.  His primary role will be to attend to Black men and I don’t want to offer up someone who immediately turns them off with his appearance.  I’m not averse to minor plastic surgery for teeth, dermatologists, spa treatments, a true makeover but nothing major.  If Black men look at him and they aren’t aroused, if they can’t see someone worth fucking, then he is of no use to me. 

He will NOT be regularly dressing as a woman, his primary role will not be that of a sissy faggot crossdresser;  he will dress and present as a man the vast majority of the time.  I’ll be responsible for picking his wardrobe for his dates with black men and he will be dressed according to my tastes and that includes suits, expensive, tailored suits and far more than casual khakis and golf shirts.  I will train him to crossdress and be appealing as a man who presents as female for the occasions that is requested of him but his default mode will be a white man who satisfies, pleasures, caters to, and submits to Black men. 

He will be my intellectual equal; we will be able to enjoy cocktails and discuss many subjects for hours. That presents a unique problem in that anyone who is my intellectual equal holds an advanced degree and I am not interested in anyone whose loyalties lie elsewhere or who is obligated to lie to me. No civil servants, no military personnel , no jet-setting rich playboys who inherited wealth. Ayahuasca, DMT, acid are fine, but if I get to pick and choose my perfect sub, I would say he should smoke weed, he is open to plant medicine and psychedelics in moderation, but he stays far away from chemical drugs.  So, if I get to create my dream submissive, he is someone who was raised in a family that valued education but placed more value in a person’s character, their intrinsic value, not their salary or title.  I would love it if he dropped out of college because he was too liberal and thought outside the box and has remained somewhat of a loner . . . like me.  I know!  That limits my potential submissive pool to a needle in an infinite universe of haystacks. I said it would be virtually impossible for me to find what I’m looking for in a white man but this is my dream list so I’m putting everything I want on it. 

I’m unwilling to consider taking the oath myself or drinking the juice or whatever you people do for a multitude of reasons at this stage in my . . . whatever this is . . . reality?  I’m not going to say that I won’t ever but with my convictions and my perspectives, I would feel like a traitor at this stage in my life, it would be like saying that I’m better than the people who I’m striving to lift up plus I’m a pathological truther so it’s not a good fit for me anyway. 

He will undoubtedly be progressive politically and he will be both, artistic, talented, and creative, as they mean distinctly different things.  My perfect submissive will be a jazz enthusiast and being bilingual is a plus.  I will be able to go to jazz festivals and concerts with him without being ashamed or embarrassed.  He will certainly get extra bonus points if he likes neo soul and rare grooves, salsa, etc., but it’s not a requirement whatsoever.  I need him to be a feminist.  I need him to be comfortable with his bisexuality.  I need him to be respectful of everyone’s differences and challenges. 

Europeans and white men raised outside of the US move to the head of the line please as I am going to imagine that re-training individuals not born into the racist hellhole that is AmeriKKKa will be easier.  I will not debate my submissive about race so she should come to the table as anti-racist as possible and I will work with him to train him to navigate the world as my submissive, and that means he will understand and be as articulate about race and racism as I am.  My plan to divest him of racism is intense and no one has ever attempted anything like it.  He will be subjected to sexual, psychological, and cultural instruction from a team of Black men and women who will incorporate pleasure and pain as incentives to learn how to be antiracist. 

He will be mine exclusively and we will see each other three or four times a year. The first year of training will be intense and extensive.  I’m going to reprogram and completely break him down and then recreate him in my image:  culturally, mentally, emotionally, socially, and sexually.   I intend for our relationship to span years, my prayer is that I will only have one submissive for the rest of my life so we will travel together and be comfortable in each other’s presence.  I will genuinely like him, like our time together as he will be courteous and polite in public and insatiable and ravenous behind closed doors.  His tastes will be similar to mine in that he will appreciate the finer things in life but he will not be too good to eat at Applebee’s nor will he think he’s too good to volunteer to work in the hood to do the real work of lifting people’s consciousness out of the ghetto. 

He should be financially secure and generous but I’m not looking for a sugar daddy.  I abhor the concept of blackmail.  If someone feels they need to be forced to worship and adore me because they’re afraid I will destroy their life, move on, I’m not cut out for them.  I want someone who recognizes me for the unique entity that I am and who feels privileged to belong to me and will show me with signs of his appreciation and love.  There is no dollar amount required but there is also the acknowledgement that I’m exceptional and you can not expect to belong to me for free. 

Ideally, I would love to find someone who would finance the creation of some of my cutting-edge interracial erotic content without the expectation of a ROI but rather just as a testament to his devotion to me.  I understand my worth.  I know what an honor and privilege it will be to say that you belong to me.  Investing money in creating groundbreaking, breathtaking, controversial, fucking sexy ass interracial erotica seems, to me, like it would be an honor.  I’m not white and I don’t have the same relationship with money as white men do, I don’t base my self worth on my bank account and white men do.  White men, who monetize and capitalize off of AIR, they think they have rights to make money off of air, who think nothing is wrong with stealing land and then profiting from it, tend to expect domination for free as, if it’s an honor for me to dominate them.  I don’t belong to that school of thought.  I’m not looking for material possessions, I could care less about purses or red bottom shoes.  I want community gardens in Black neighborhoods.  Finance that and get the keys to my heart.  I want experiences and memories, not material things.  More than anything, I want a submissive who feels honored to spoil me and does so because he truly loves me. 

Eventually, my ideal submissive will get access to me sexually.  That means, that one day, after he has proven himself, proven his loyalty and trustworthiness, after I’ve transformed him into the submissive of my dreams, he will have access to licking m pussy, tonguing my ass, to sucking my tits like a baby in my arms.  That is not something any white submissive has ever earned but I’m not looking for someone average.   It’s not something that will happen any time soon but he’s not average and he is going to get exceptional benefits if he belongs to me. 

In terms of things that will be off limits for him . . . My philosophy is simple, it has not and will not change.  If he doesn’t want to do something, he will not have to do it. Ever. If he says no, stop, anything even remotely close to taking his consent away, things come to a halt immediately.  I’m not here to force him to do something he doesn’t want to do or to facilitate his rape or anything of the sort.  It is my jog as a Domme to create a space for you where you can be uninhibited and insatiable, where you crave stimulation like a junkie.  I

I identify as a veraciphile, a word I created that means I’m aroused by the intimacy of sharing one’s most darkest secrets, however evil they might be.  A great many white men can’t understand that my arousal is from being the source of intimacy in your life, the person with whom you can share anything, any deeply depraved and sick secret.  White men almost always assume that means that I want them to do deeply depraved and sick acts for me, to arouse me.  I’m repulsed by the deeply depraved and sick acts that white men confess to me, I’m intensely aroused by them being forthcoming, sharing, opening up, and being honest with me.  My dream submissive will understand that, he will NOT be deeply depraved in fact.  He’s not a psychopath hiding in plain site, he’s someone with insatiable passions who desires to unleash them in private with select partners whom I choose and who wants to make me proud. I will train him in the things that arouse me and they will be options on the ala carte menu when he offers his services to Black men. In fact, he’s not driven by his sexual lusts whatsoever.  I know, impossible to find in a white man.  But I can dream. 

Now that I’m thinking about it, I may want two submissives.  One will be my equal, my perfect pet and another will be my toy to abuse and destroy, one who will be nastier and filthier who only performs for me when I need someone disgusting.  I would have a different relationship with him.  Finding that submissive is not a priority for me.  I’m sure I could create him if I took the time to go through all the offers I get currently but he’s almost a backup in my mind.  My priority would be to find the white submissive created for me. 

I Truly Feel Sorry for White People

 What empty, meaningless, superficial lives white people lead. This entire reality was created for you, for your ego, and you’re still not happy, it’s still not enough for you. I don’t know how reincarnation works, but knowing what I know now, I would never knowingly choose to come back to this reality as a white person. You are completely unoriginal, petty, and devoid of substance. You, you advanced degreed, oath-taking, compact-signing, mead-drinking, Limitless, legacy mother-fuckers know the truth. You know you have stolen EVERYTHING. You know that Black people invented everything, created everything, you know that we are the master architects of science, technology, arts, civilization, medicine, of every damn thing under the stars yet you STILL arrogantly think you’re superior. The Munchkins, the dumb fucks who don’t know the truth, they believe lock, stock, and barrel in the big white lie, but I’ll be damned if they don’t benefit from the fallacy of white supremacy and they’re just as arrogant as the ones who know the truth.

In this fake reality white people have access to better education, access to better jobs, housing, healthcare, loans, even healthier food. Damn near every movie, book, and song is written about your experience from your perspective. This world was created so you could have access to better everything. You’d think you’d say, “Hey, we are the imposters in this scenario, let’s try to be as humble and respectful to Black people as we can be since, ultimately, we really aren’t in control here and they got the shitty end of the stick and we know it.” Nope. That thought never crosses your mind. You make everything about you. About your desires. Your wants. You believe your own lies.

White people have an entire justice system created to isolate you from any ramifications, responsibility, or accountability of any of your wrongdoings and crimes and that’s still not enough for you. You live in a reality created to perpetuate the lie that white men are the source of all that is good and right but are you happy with that? No! You have to protest Black people kneeling. You send money to cops who murder us. You can’t even fucking acknowledge that black lives don’t have as much value as yours in this stinking fake reality. You fucking stalk and harass Black people online for standing up for ourselves and demanding the same rights that you take for granted every day.

You want to be sexually submissive to Blacks behind closed doors with your pitiful need to pretend you are being forced and blackmailed and then you go back to being racist the second you go back to your vile, co-opted, white life. The second I say that I’m not interested in dominating you, that I don’t want to play your contrived game where I conform to your delusional concept of what it means to be a dominant Black woman, you revert to your true nature, your racist, offensive, arrogant selves. You lust after Black women but you marry white women because they have the power in the magical realm, and you exist in your loveless marriage of pretense for . . . what . . .? The promise of money? For what? More power? You don’t have enough currently? I will never understand. No wonder you are all aroused by being cuckolds. You don’t have a choice. White women don’t marry you for love, they marry you for blood, for I’m assuming some sort of power and status. Of course they want dick from Black men. Who wouldn’t want a real man, a man capable of sensuality, capable of authenticity, a man capable of doing everything better than you? If only we had the same access to magick as you.

You lie. You all lie You don’t know how to be honest. You’re incapable of telling the truth. Everything is a calculation, everything is a manipulation, there is nothing authentic or real about you. I feel sorry for you. I’m real. I’m honest. I’m FREE. I can express true passion; I don’t have to lie or pretend I’m something other than what I am. I don’t have to live by absurd superstitions and rules of morality that were created from the beyond insane and egotistical psyche of whiteness and you still think you’re superior. Pathetic. Truly fucking pathetic. I’d rather be Black and enslaved by the power hungry wizard in this false reality than be white and inauthentic in any other dimension.