Bad Religion

I was married a million years ago. My ex husband was cheating on me and I put him out the day I found out. The entire process sent me into depression and I had insomnia. After a month I was delerious and desperate for sleep. One of my best friends suggested I get a meditation tape and listen to it to help me sleep. I got it and the very first time I listened to it I fell asleep. I was hooked. I listened to it every chance I could because when I was asleep that was the only time I wasn't feeling the pain of hurt and betrayal. After a month or so I ventured out and got another meditation cassette tape and started to feel better and better every day.

Curious about meditation and how it worked I started buying books on meditation to get a better understanding. Back in the 90s, I had never heard the term metaphysical before and it felt threatening to my Christianity so I embarked on a mission to learn all about world religions so that I could shore up my arguments that Christianity was the only true and right religion.

I took classes on Judaism and the Kabbalah and spent hours in the library reading everything I could. Six months later I declared myself a Jew. I came to the realization that there was truth in Judaism and I might as well read up on Islam to be able to debate intelligently if someone dare challenge me. I few months later I was pretty convinced I was Muslim.

I still had nagging, lingering questions that no religion seemed to answer but at the time I had been trained/brainwashed not to ask difficult or complex questions because I was pretty sure God would punish me to hell for not believing every word of whatever religion I was practicing. I kept on. Buddhism seemed most truthful of everything I had studied thus far but I was self-aware enough to recognize the pattern. I went back to identifying as Christian but with a comprehensive grasp of all sorts of religions.

It was around that time that I started studying Christanity. Not studying the bible but studying how Christianity came to be, trying to find evidence in history that could prove Christianity was the one true, right religion. What I learned rocked me to my core. I learned that Christianity was an invetion by white men to control the masses, to gain power, to hide real spiritual truths. It started to make sense why the concept of learning about other religions, about questioning God was considered heresy. Interestingly enough it was around this time I started to question everything I had grown to understand about sex and sexuality but that will have to wait for me to explain.

Fast forward to moving to Atl in the late 90s. I was meditating daily, with a group that became my family, and also alone. I started asking the Universe/God for clarity. I put a piece of paper up on my bathroom mirror that said, "I am open and receptive to thy loving spirit of truth." I would say it aloud every time I went into the bathroom. I was also in grad school in the African and African American studies dept. at the time so I could easily put the pieces together of how whites beat Christianity into us as a tool of control, how damaging that was to us psychologically as a people, and I had a greater understanding of the beauty of African religions by that time as well.

Growing up, my mother was a mistress, not in the BDSM sense of the word but in the adulterous whore context. She never went to church because she knew her life was foul. My grandparents and aunts and uncles were the ones to expose me to church. I remember in daily vacation bible school asking why. Why would God damn people to hell for not believing in Jesus if they had never even heard his name before? Why is God so petty that he did so many things to hurt so many people? If God is God, why does he care if you learn about other religions? Why is God a man?

I started to get the answers to those questions through my meditation. The answers didn't come the way I expected them to and they were way more scientific than religious. I just kept saying that I was open and receptive to thy loving spirit of truth.

On May 5th, 2000 the planets aligned. It was supposed to be the first time since Christ was born that they had all formed a straight line. I invited my meditation family over to my apartment and we had a group meditation.

Two days later I had a revelation, a grand epiphany. The truth of the Universe was revealed to me in a flash of a second. It was a sensatoon I will never forget because I was at work and three very distinct explanations of the Universe/God showed themselves to me at the exact same time in a fraction of a second.

In that moment, everything made sense. I understood everything, all my questions were answered. I understood why no religion was valid, how we are all connected. From that moment on I could no longer identify as Christian. I've continued to meditate and study all sorts of metaphysical things, physics, chemistry, and I studied consciousness in grad school to understand my revelations. I've had more revelations and they are all greater understandings of those initial three revelations.

It would be many years before I would ever tell anyone about my revelations. While I can discuss them openly now, I have no desire or inclination to convince anyone of what I believe, I don't need to prove my beliefs to anyone and I certainly don't want or need to debate anyone about religion.

My only requirement today is that in finding and meeting a partner, I require him not to practice a relgion. I want him to believe in something larger than us but I can't be comfortable with someone who practices and believes in the lies of man, of men whose intentions were to use religion to control and oppress people, and to monetize it to line their own pockets. Me dating someone who believes the world was created in 7 days or in an ark that can fit two of every animal on the earth would be akin to me dating someone who thinks Trump is a great president.

I am comfortable identifying myself as a practicing Scottieist, a religion of one.

A Big Nothing Burger with Russian Dressing and a Side of Traitor Tots

Let's examine the facts from the perspective that Trump didn't just accidentally stumble into collusion with Putin based on the Trump Moscow deal; It is my supposition that Putin CHOSE Trump to install and he courted and approached Trump and offered to get him elected as POTUS.  We know that Putin's objective was to disrupt American democracy.  The question is, the glaring question is, if Putin wanted to install Trump as president, if his plan all along was to help someone who was enough of a dullard and egotistical enough to be flattered into doing his bidding inside the Oval Office, why wouldn't Putin manipulate the votes in order to get Trump in office?. Is it because he was afraid of what would happen to him if he did, that he would get in trouble with the CIA, that they would slap him on the wrist?  Is it because he respected our democratic process too much to alter the votes?  Perhaps he trusted that fake Twitter profiles were enough to convince the American public to vote for Trump. That's the question that everyone, it seems, refuses to even give voice to.  It's not as if the voting machines are impenetrable. The NY Times has reported that there are lots of voting machines that can have the software hacked.  Putin obviously knows that but the assumption is he didn't hack them because . . . he wanted every citizen to have their vote counted?  Putin is not beyond manipulating votes in his own country.  Why the hell wouldn't he manipulate votes in ours?  

If Putin's plan was to install a president whom he could manipulate, if he has the alleged pee pee tape or some other compromising sexual dirt on Trump, if he simply saw Trump as a starry-eyed sycophant whose greed could be manipulated and he approached Trump as said he could get him elected with the help of a hacking/internet/fake news campaign, then the next and obvious question is why wouldn't Putin manipulate the vote totals?  If Putin's plan is to disrupt American democracy and his very first tactic isn't changing the vote totals, he's not very good at hacking elections.  It's seems impossible to me, inconceivable to me that Putin wanted to hack the American election and his entire plan consisted of creating fake Facebook/Twitter profiles to post fake Tweets and hacking John Podesta's emails for a risotto recipe.  I've never stolen an election before but if I were to decide to become an Atlanta dictator and autocrat who wanted to install my granddaughter as president of her 5th grade class,  I wouldn't rely on a few glittery posters and some cupcakes to influence the outcome. The very first thing I would plan to do is stuff the ballot boxes.  I can't believe that Putin's plan was to just cross his fingers and hope that the inane emails found in the DNC hack would convince the majority of American people to vote for the the village idiot.  

Now, let's take a look at the facts that we know for sure from the perspective that the Russian scandal is based on Trump being selected as the perfect malleable candidate, not that he decided to run for President and Putin saw an opportunity to manipulate him when he was approached by Cohen or Don, Jr about the Trump Moscow  deal.  Let's suppose for a minute that Putin approached Trump and said, "Hey, I am looking to make a lot of money and I have a plan and I need you and only you to pull it off."  Trump starts salivating and says he is in on the deal.  They set out to have Trump run for POTUS and surprise, surprise, he wins primary after primary.  We know that Trump is guilty of whatever he accuses others of doing.  Right before the election, he started suggesting that he had no faith that the votes were going to be legitimate and that the results were going to be manipulated, that there was going to be voter fraud.  Don't you think that's because he knew Putin was going to have his hackers manipulate the totals for him?   Isn't that classic Trump, accuse others of doing what he is doing himself? 

If he was Putin's puppet, that explains the people with whom he decided to align himself .  If you look at his actions from the perspective that Putin was his boss all along, everything makes more sense. From his choice of Eric Prince's sister Betsy Devos as Sec. of Education, to Putin's best oil bud Rex Tillerson as SoS. It explains Jill Stein's presence at the RT dinner, it explains Russian fanboy Carter Page's appointment, and itt explains anyone and everyone who had Russian ties being in Trump's inner circle.  Putin wanted his closest comrades in place to pull off his mission to make billions once the sanctions were lifted. Trump was/is forming an annex office of The Kremlin in Washington DC and he wanted to place Russian friendly associates in place to help him.  It explains why Jared wanted to have a back channel to Russia and felt comfortable saying that he was okay with using their equipment: it's because he and the Trump organization have been cooperating with Russia since day one.  It makes sense why Trump was sooooo willing to ignore the warnings about Flynn.  It explains EVERYTHING.  It explains the Seychelles, the sanctions question from Butina, and even Devon Nunes hiding in the bushes, more importantly it explains every single action Trump has made.  It explains why he has been so Putin friendly every step of the way.  Everything makes sense when you examine things from that perspective.  Wouldn't that also explain who hacked the NRCC?  Trump only understands mob tactics.  Wouldn't it make sense that he asked Putin to get dirt on Republicans with the hopes that they were doing something illicit and scandalous in those emails and he could use that info to blackmail them to take the pressure off of him and the Russian nothingburger as he calls it? Makes a lot sense, no?.  

Finally, if we have learned anything about the current WH, we know that they lie about everything.  The official reason they said they finally fired Flynn was because he lied to Mike Pence.  Mike Pence knows that Trump was illegitimately elected.   I don't know how Pence is connected to Russia but you can be sure he is if he is aligned with Trump.

I realize I'm not the first person to assert this position.  I have not read the Steele Dossier but I'm going to assume that it supposes these things as facts and provides evidence.  I understand all too well that society is invested in avoiding any subject matter that approaches sex and sexuality as anything other a vanilla and benign activity done only by married white heterosexuals on a Saturday night. America is invested in hiding white men's collective depraved sexual behaviors so I get that the media didn't want to give credence to an actual pee pee tape.  I would just like to give a few minutes of contemplation to the concept that Putin created the plan to disrupt American democracy and he chose Trump as his guy because he had dirt on him and that the votes were manipulated.  

I have little doubt that whomever is pulling the strings behind he scenes is operating under the assumption that they don't want to reveal that our democracy was infiltrated to the extent that vote totals were changed.  The American people not only deserve the truth about our election process and it's vulnerability, however, but also it's imperative that the status quo can't be maintained in order to protect the crimes of traitors and the egos of racist, xenophobic Trump supporters.  

I'm a woman of color in this country and every day I see policies being made and people being installed who are going to erode the rights of individuals who look like me.   The questions I am imploring you to ask yourself are, what if Trump truly is a Manchurian candidate and, most importantly, why wouldn't Putin direct his hackers to manipulate the vote totals?