AfroerotiK

Erotic provocateur, racially-influenced humanist, relentless champion for the oppressed, and facilitator for social change, Scottie Lowe is the brain child, creative genius and the blood, sweat, and tears behind AfroerotiK. Intended to be part academic, part educational, and part sensual, she, yes SHE gave birth to the website to provide people of African descent a place to escape the narrow-mined, stereotypical, limiting and oft-times degrading beliefs that abound about our sexuality. No, not all Black men are driven by lust by white flesh or to create babies and walk away. No, not all Black women are promiscuous welfare queens. And as hard as it may be to believe, no, not all gay Black men are feminine, down low, or HIV positive. Scottie is putting everything on the table to discuss, debate, and dismantle stereotypes in a healthy exchange of ideas. She hopes to provide a more holistic, informed, and enlightened discussion of Black sexuality and dreams of helping couples be more open, honest, and adventurous in their relationships.

Monday, December 07, 2015

Willful Ignorance


It’s the 21st century.  We are living in a time when we have more access to information, to knowledge than any other time in recorded history.  It amazes me, it astounds me actually, the willful ignorance that abounds about sex and sexuality in this day and time truly boggles my mind.  We might as well be living in The Dark Ages with leeches to treat deadly plagues because people, the vast and overwhelming majority of people, believe the most stupid, asinine things about sexuality.   

Being bisexual does not mean that you have to be equally attracted to both men and women.  Being bisexual does not mean that you automatically want to form a romantic, emotional relationship with someone of the same gender, it simply means that you can have sex with both genders.  Just because you have a preference for one gender over the other that does not mean that you are somehow heterosexual.  It’s very possible to be sexually aroused by both genders without your masculinity or femininity being altered in any way.  If you are blindfolded and you are sexually stimulated you will be aroused regardless of the gender of person.  If a woman is sexually aroused by other women that does not mean she is going to become masculine NOR does it mean that a man is going to become feminine if he is sexually aroused by other men.  

Men and women have the EXACT same anatomy that allows them to experience arousal and pleasure when stimulated anally.  That’s not entirely true.  Men have a prostate that women do not have and when the prostate is stimulated, it provides pleasure.  Not just gay men.  Not just feminine men.  Not just some men.  ALL men have the potential to experience pleasure when stimulated anally.  It has nothing to do with a man’s sexual preference or his masculinity.  Bottoms, tops, sissies etc., they are all labels that reinforce the false belief that being a woman is synonymous with being submissive, being humiliated, being degraded and I have news for you, those things are not inherent to women.  There is no genetic markers that make women predisposed to being slapped, spit on, gangbanged or used.  If a man is anally aroused, putting on a dress and wearing stockings and heels does not make him a woman.  

Unfortunately, common sense, logic, reason, and facts have no bearing on the absurdity that people believe about sex and sexuality.  Black people especially.  Because we expect men to be one-dimensional, hyper-masculine Neanderthals, we claim that there is no such thing as bisexuality, that a man has to be gay if he is sexually aroused by both genders and that he’s just denying it.  Because we are so desperate to believe the white man’s religion that was beaten into us, we turn our backs on plain truths that can’t be denied.  There is no big bad sky daddy who watches what we do in the bedroom and who is offended by our pleasure.  We believe all sorts of truly stupid things: that the tightness of a man’s jeans or the color of his shirt can determine if he’s bisexual, that only bisexual men are responsible for the spread of HIV.  This is 2015 and people really believe that.  There is too much information at our fingertips, there is too much damn porn in genres that have to be seen to actually be believed that prove beyond all reasonable doubt that people are aroused by far more than heterosexual, missionary sex on a Friday night with the lights out.  Yet we live in willful ignorance and pretend that humans are supposed to be asexual and chaste.  I’ll tell you what’s a sin.  It’s sinful that we choose to be so close-minded and brainwashed. 

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