I had a white gentleman tell me a story once that I found fascinating. He told me, admittedly, that he used to be racist but had a transformative experience. He went on to say that he had procured the services of a professional dominatrix. She blindfolded him and went about her business of degrading him, humiliating him, whathaveyou. Unbeknownst to this man, the white pro domme had in fact switched with a Black domme who was responsible for giving him what he felt was the most intense experience of his life. This black domme apparently had urinated on him. Well, once the blindfold was removed, voila', his racism was gone. Healed by the magical piss of the Black woman. I suggested to him that racism isn't just washed away with a little Shug Avery pee (he didn't get it) and that in order for him to truly rid himself of racist behaviors that he would really need to challenge his beliefs. At that point, he called me a racist nigger bitch.
Time and time again, I have white men tell me that they aren't racist because they are attracted to black women, because they want to submit to Black women. But, in the same breath, they are afraid to meet me in public in a place where people that know them might see them. Or they tell me that black women are superior because they are so naturally dominant, never giving credence to the totality of us as women. Uhmm, isn't that racist?
I've had white men tell me that they want to be with a black woman to see if our pussies taste different. Number one, I'm not a scratch and sniff experiment; I'm a human being. There is absolutely nothing different about my physical make up other than the presence of melanin. My blood is the same, my tears are the same, my piss is the same, and my pussy is the same. If there’s a difference in my taste it’s because I’m an individual and EVERYONE is going to have a different taste. If a person thinks a Black woman's pussy tastes different just because of the color of their skin, uhmm, isn't that racist? .
I had a white man tell me the other day that his wife had a black lover and he would be forced to pay the black man to service him orally and how he felt that was the ultimate humiliation. He professed that he wasn't racist and how he thought that Blacks were superior. When asked how he thought Blacks were superior, he listed physical characteristics. Check it, if he thought blacks were truly superior, he would not feel it was humiliating to give a Black man money. I asked him some of the Black people that he thought were intellectually superior and he said Condoleezza Rice and me. First and foremost, there should NEVER be an occasion where Condi Rice and I are compared on the same scale. She is the anti-Christ and I denounce her as a black woman. Second, it's obvious he had no clue about my intellect; he was enamored with my physicality.
I can't tell you how many times I've had white men tell me, "Oh, I wish I was a black man." When asked why, the number one reason, "They have such big cocks." Okay dumbass, you think being a black man is all about fucking white women with your 11-inch dick? You don't see the correlation between black men and the prison population, Driving While Black, the inordinately high Black on Black crime. No, you don't want to be a Black man; you want to have white privilege, a big dick AND have white women throwing themselves at you. White men that say that stupid shit inevitable say, "I don't have a racist bone in my body. Not since I started watching interracial porn (or fill in the blank with a similar sexual experience, as if orgasm while looking at a black person have sex cures diseased perceptions)." What the fuck? Say it with me . . . Uhmm, isn't that racist?
My favorite? White man approaches me and tells me how submissive he is to black women. I tell him I’m not interested in a submissive at this time, white, black, or other. They tell me that they can (fill in the blank with a degrading and humiliating act) and refuses to accept that I’m not interested in him. Next thing out of his mouth . . . NIGGER BITCH.
Let's make a list, shall we?
Saying they aren't racist and then saying that white women should be "bred black" because black men are not good fathers.
Saying they aren't racist, then saying that Jews overcame the Holocaust, as if Jews are inherently superior, and Blacks choose to be lazy.
Saying they aren't racist and then saying how much they respect Oprah, Colin Powell and Michael Jordan and when I ask them what's the last black book they've read they look at me like I'm crazy for suggesting that they would ever read a black book.
Saying they aren't racist and then denigrating Spike Lee, Jesse Jackson, and Al Sharpton in the next breath and having the unmitigated nerve to say that there are no Black leaders. I guess white leadership is so stellar that they have room to critique.
Saying that they aren't racist and then in the next breath calling me a racist because I suggest that there are abundant examples of racism that they don't see because they won't allow themselves to go outside their comfort zone and imagine a life different than their's.
Since when did racists get to identify when they aren't racist anymore? Who is defining racism? Is racism just an overt hatred of black people and wearing a white sheet or is it white men looking at me in amazement when I tell them I'm pursuing my PhD and them telling me that I'm a credit to my race? Like for my next trick, I'm going to pull a rabbit out of my hat. Where is the white sub that has read one book about slavery, Black history, Black culture, or one that tried to delve into the reasons for oppression and bigotry? No, he was in a heightened state of arousal and figured out that Black women could be as sexually arousing as white women. Big shit! That doesn't mean he's going to fight for Black children to get a fair education, that he's going to battle discrimination in housing and employment whenever he sees it. He's not even going to tell his buddies at the office that he's attracted to Black women. That's racist.
It’s more than obvious that Black people aren’t capable of determining what’s racist or not because we are the ones that think the N word is a term of affection, that think it’s cute to refer to ourselves as bitches, freaks, thugs, and pimps. Those who don’t use that terminology turn a blind eye and a deaf ear when it’s used. There are far too many black men that think it’s a compliment to be called a bull and to try to impregnate white women for fun. That's sick. FAR, FAR, FAR too many black women think that our beauty is in our behinds, fingernails, or length or our hair and give no credence to developing what’s inside us.
"Whiteness" is a disease of privilege that has been created by a society founded in racism. I didn't say white people are inherently racist because of genetics. I said that because white people have seen black people and people of color as inferior for so many centuries, because it has been so conditioned in their minds, because it has gone unquestioned in their psyches that they are superior, that SOME white people (I would dare to say the vast and overwhelming majority) perpetuate a lack of compassion for anyone's else's experience other than their own, they diminish the complaints of people of color because it doesn't match their experience and it’s certainly not washed away with a little Black piss.
AfroerotiK
Time and time again, I have white men tell me that they aren't racist because they are attracted to black women, because they want to submit to Black women. But, in the same breath, they are afraid to meet me in public in a place where people that know them might see them. Or they tell me that black women are superior because they are so naturally dominant, never giving credence to the totality of us as women. Uhmm, isn't that racist?
I've had white men tell me that they want to be with a black woman to see if our pussies taste different. Number one, I'm not a scratch and sniff experiment; I'm a human being. There is absolutely nothing different about my physical make up other than the presence of melanin. My blood is the same, my tears are the same, my piss is the same, and my pussy is the same. If there’s a difference in my taste it’s because I’m an individual and EVERYONE is going to have a different taste. If a person thinks a Black woman's pussy tastes different just because of the color of their skin, uhmm, isn't that racist? .
I had a white man tell me the other day that his wife had a black lover and he would be forced to pay the black man to service him orally and how he felt that was the ultimate humiliation. He professed that he wasn't racist and how he thought that Blacks were superior. When asked how he thought Blacks were superior, he listed physical characteristics. Check it, if he thought blacks were truly superior, he would not feel it was humiliating to give a Black man money. I asked him some of the Black people that he thought were intellectually superior and he said Condoleezza Rice and me. First and foremost, there should NEVER be an occasion where Condi Rice and I are compared on the same scale. She is the anti-Christ and I denounce her as a black woman. Second, it's obvious he had no clue about my intellect; he was enamored with my physicality.
I can't tell you how many times I've had white men tell me, "Oh, I wish I was a black man." When asked why, the number one reason, "They have such big cocks." Okay dumbass, you think being a black man is all about fucking white women with your 11-inch dick? You don't see the correlation between black men and the prison population, Driving While Black, the inordinately high Black on Black crime. No, you don't want to be a Black man; you want to have white privilege, a big dick AND have white women throwing themselves at you. White men that say that stupid shit inevitable say, "I don't have a racist bone in my body. Not since I started watching interracial porn (or fill in the blank with a similar sexual experience, as if orgasm while looking at a black person have sex cures diseased perceptions)." What the fuck? Say it with me . . . Uhmm, isn't that racist?
My favorite? White man approaches me and tells me how submissive he is to black women. I tell him I’m not interested in a submissive at this time, white, black, or other. They tell me that they can (fill in the blank with a degrading and humiliating act) and refuses to accept that I’m not interested in him. Next thing out of his mouth . . . NIGGER BITCH.
Let's make a list, shall we?
Saying they aren't racist and then saying that white women should be "bred black" because black men are not good fathers.
Saying they aren't racist, then saying that Jews overcame the Holocaust, as if Jews are inherently superior, and Blacks choose to be lazy.
Saying they aren't racist and then saying how much they respect Oprah, Colin Powell and Michael Jordan and when I ask them what's the last black book they've read they look at me like I'm crazy for suggesting that they would ever read a black book.
Saying they aren't racist and then denigrating Spike Lee, Jesse Jackson, and Al Sharpton in the next breath and having the unmitigated nerve to say that there are no Black leaders. I guess white leadership is so stellar that they have room to critique.
Saying that they aren't racist and then in the next breath calling me a racist because I suggest that there are abundant examples of racism that they don't see because they won't allow themselves to go outside their comfort zone and imagine a life different than their's.
Since when did racists get to identify when they aren't racist anymore? Who is defining racism? Is racism just an overt hatred of black people and wearing a white sheet or is it white men looking at me in amazement when I tell them I'm pursuing my PhD and them telling me that I'm a credit to my race? Like for my next trick, I'm going to pull a rabbit out of my hat. Where is the white sub that has read one book about slavery, Black history, Black culture, or one that tried to delve into the reasons for oppression and bigotry? No, he was in a heightened state of arousal and figured out that Black women could be as sexually arousing as white women. Big shit! That doesn't mean he's going to fight for Black children to get a fair education, that he's going to battle discrimination in housing and employment whenever he sees it. He's not even going to tell his buddies at the office that he's attracted to Black women. That's racist.
It’s more than obvious that Black people aren’t capable of determining what’s racist or not because we are the ones that think the N word is a term of affection, that think it’s cute to refer to ourselves as bitches, freaks, thugs, and pimps. Those who don’t use that terminology turn a blind eye and a deaf ear when it’s used. There are far too many black men that think it’s a compliment to be called a bull and to try to impregnate white women for fun. That's sick. FAR, FAR, FAR too many black women think that our beauty is in our behinds, fingernails, or length or our hair and give no credence to developing what’s inside us.
"Whiteness" is a disease of privilege that has been created by a society founded in racism. I didn't say white people are inherently racist because of genetics. I said that because white people have seen black people and people of color as inferior for so many centuries, because it has been so conditioned in their minds, because it has gone unquestioned in their psyches that they are superior, that SOME white people (I would dare to say the vast and overwhelming majority) perpetuate a lack of compassion for anyone's else's experience other than their own, they diminish the complaints of people of color because it doesn't match their experience and it’s certainly not washed away with a little Black piss.
AfroerotiK
4 comments:
I don't have a problem with white men liking black women, I like white men myself, but these men sound like fools and they need a good beating and afterwards they should turn to Jesus. These men are damaged beyond repair and if they are not willing to open up to Jesus, Hell is there for them.
As soon as fools approach you with filth coming out of their mouth, slap them with your mouth in Jesus name and send them on their way.
@Felicity: Somehow when you bring in god to a blog about erotica and sexual nature, I think you've missed the mark.
Anway...
I am going to respond to your post Scottie, but first, I feel I need to tell you, the entire reason I'm here is due to a black woman. When I was twelve I was new in town, and as the new guy at school, in Missouri, in the sticks, you run up against some well established cliques. I was the guy eating at his own table. Until she moved to town. Then (because there were no other tables to sit at) I no longer ate alone. Eventually we became friends, it wasn't until high school that we really came to hang out commonly though: I was afraid of being seen with her because all the other kids and their parents questioned what I was doing with the black child at school.
During high school though, when we were more open about being friends, the heat finally started to come off. Other people began accepting her as well as me. There were still sideways glances and such but meh, we were used to them. Its also then I learned just how taboo a white man and black woman together was. Her and I never did anything sexual, hell we didn't even kiss we were just friends.
Senior prom came and it was being held in downtown St. Louis. She went with some girls and I went with some guys I knew (again, high school softened the whole social problem for us).
After the dance, I met her again at a gas station, where both the attendants were black. This wouldn't be unusual at all for a gas station in St. Louis, but there was something in the way she was treated there. It was the same way I was treated actually. When she spoke to the attendants they were brunt, and seemed like they did not want to talk to her. We just brushed that off and started walking around, talking about college and the remaining weeks of high school. Along the way, there were other black people, and other stares. And more abrupt rudeness towards her. We began to get suspicious.
A year later, back from our first two semesters of school, we happened to talk about that night. She'd learned why she was treated so strangely: she was white. Huh? She was definitely black skinned, and white people generally didn't treat her like other white people, this we knew, so what did it mean that she was "white?"
Well, she didn't talk like southern black people. She knew nothing of rap music other than that it played on the radio and MTV. She grew up in a white town, hence, she wasn't indoctrinated in black culture. At college, she had finally met and started hanging around black people, only to learn that she didn't use black slang. That she didn't realize when she was being discriminated against and when she was not (she and I both thought everyone just had it out for her, and that was being confirmed). That she (apparently) couldn't ever trust a white person 100%, because she just never knew what that person was going to do next.
I had an eyebrow arched the whole time, confused as hell. We knew that she wasn't treated well by white people in the hick town we grew up in, but apparently this disqualified her from being treated well by black people too? She somehow, now, did not meet the criteria to be "black" because she had grown up being treated differently by whites and all while alone with only a white guy, also an outcast, to lean on?
Who the hell said she was somehow less black for not having 20 black friends, and a black church to go to? We both figured out then that black and white people were both really no different: both races kick out their own for silly reasons, both races don't really want much to do with the other regardless of whatever anyone says.
Its been a long time since then. We both live on opposite coasts and she did learn how to "act black" enough that she has girlfriends now who are black, and not just some white girlfriends who wanted a black girl in their clique.
This is how I came to be on this site: not too long ago, I went to spend a weekend with her. I was taking vacation the next week and felt the West Coast would be a good place to hang for a while. The night I got in her husband was out of town, we went out to eat and then back to her house ("why spend money on a hotel, honestly"). Talking, her sipping tea me sipping coffee, flipping through her cable. I wasn't paying attention and flipped right into some porn.
I turned red I image, I said "sorry" and flipped to another channel, and looked away. She grabbed, the remote, flipped back, and hiked up her skirt. "This is hot." I barely heard that because now I was staring at my best friends cunt for the first time and she was fingering herself. I shrieked and freaked out. What the hell? Thats a little forward!? She kissed me. Now I finally settled down and thought "oh my god, there is porn on the tv, you were masturbating and now you are kissing me with a ring on your finger" and then "damn she can use her tongue." She laughed, told me to stop being silly and enjoy the show. Too stunned to do anything but stare she continued to do, well, everything.
A few moments (could've been minutes felt like moments to me) later she brought me into her bed, and we had sex for the first time. I had been too busy to have a life outside work for the last few months so combine pent up energy with her, prowess, and it was the most satisfying sex I've ever had. The next morning I awoke to a monster sucking my dick straight off my body. No, wait, that was her.
Whomever Shaneesha is (might of spelled that wrong), if you ever read this I want to thank you for telling her how good sex is with a childhood friend, that how especially satisfying it is when it breaks some taboo. After the morning bj I finally could make English words again and apparently this girl she knew convinced her that sex with a childhood crush (that was news to me) was quite amazing (which I'll agree too). Thats why the previous night had happened. It was then I learned that my friend had, post college, gotten into erotica and had met her husband through her husbands sister, who she had been sleeping with prior to (they don't have sex anymore, not since becoming sisters in law). She was a full blown swinger, and her husband didn't mind what we had just done. A few months later I learned her husband REALLY didn't mind when I was first introduced to bisexual sex and threesomes.
It was that day, the day after our first copulation, that she introduced me to Afroerotik. It was a week after that I found this blog. It took a while for me to find a reason to post here, but yah. We have sex regularly now, together, with her husband, with my girlfriend, and even a few clubs. There have been scary moments to it but I know I can trust her whenever we do something new.
Its because of her and the experiences we had as a kid that I am the way I am. I will say right now I know plenty about Jessie Jackson, Al Sharpton and Spike Lee. And I think they are worthless human beings. Who are they to set criteria, intentionally or unintentionally, for being black? Why did my friend suffer due to her lack of blackness in college?
And why do you use the term "white leaders?" Who are they? To this date I have never met a white person who will look at a political leader and say "thats the leader of white people." I know the KKK and residents of Indiana might but all white people aren't them. I certainly have no idea who my "white leaders" are.
I think its counterproductive to set standards on what is or is not black. Same goes for whites: being white does not mean suburb with a fence and a SUV!
And Scottie, I've read the Autobiography of Malcom X. I've read slave diaries (my family is descendant of slave owners), I've seen many of Spike Lee's films and during college saw many indie films that were supposedly "black" in their nature. Maybe all that makes me more a racist in your eyes, I don't know.
I do agree that white men who just see black women as some sort of "scratch and sniff ticket" are racists, yah, same goes for Black men treating white women like that. Hell, at a club with my friend I found that there are black women who treat white men the same way. I'll never forget the words "I've never been with a white guy before" as stated this Amazonian woman and her shemale friend.
I'll even admit that I've deleted and re-written parts of this message that I thought might offend, only to put them back in one form or another.
I say all this because I think that others like me have given you this feeling that all white men are inherently evil. That we are all some kind of warped being bent on dominating you and yours.
You have it all wrong. Thats a whole other post, but suffice to say white men are more scared right now in this world than anything else. Not because they see their "kingdom" boiling away or because they are afraid of the advances of others. Thats racism on your part.
No, they are afraid because they know they've already been judged.
Your world, Scottie, is filled with lurking white boogie men waiting to feast on your accomplishments and dismiss you. But watch out, your not the only one who is scared of the boogie man.
I find your comments and perspectives to be extremely racist but I won't bother to address each instance as it won't to a god damn bit of good anyway.
I have been reading your blog, off and on, for about a year now. On the balance, I really enjoy it. "Healing Piss" is no different. I thoroughly appreciated your perspective and insight into what you have experienced and chosen to share. It is your perspective and we are each entitled to express our perspective if we so desire. Most of us are conditioned to keep our opinions to ourselves when confronted with the overwhelming beast of conformity and corral those who are so bold or naïve as to not refrain from honesty.
A black woman speaking openly of sexuality, racism, self hate, self love and being true to oneself, no matter how counter-culture, with a damn-it-to-hell confidence is off-putting to many; possibly confusing as well. The audacity to challenge generally accepted notions and beliefs is a much welcomed and needed sight.
I am perplexed, but not surprised, at some of the responses your openness receives. I find it exceedingly difficult to even remotely grasp why people would bother to dissect and critique personal reflection on personal situations that they have had absolutely no interaction with, no influence over or the slightest possibility of that situation affecting them on any level. Well, other than the obvious of being exposed to subject matter of which they were not privy to until now.
As individuals, we each have but a sliver of a view of the totality of humanity. Together, with all of our views taken into perspective, we have the possibility of seeing the overwhelming beauty and variety that is Life. Some of those views may appear aberrant, repugnant, silly or even ass backwards. But we cannot approach true understanding without acknowledging that all viewpoints, formed by those of sound mind, have credence even if they fall a country mile outside of our comfort levels. Keep in mind I said approach understanding. That’s all we can do as mere mortals.
I have no intention of responding directly to others who have taken the time to leave comments. I find it combative, counterproductive and just plain rude. We are each entitled to our opinions. All that I can say is I grew up walking that hell of a middle ground of being born a black male who lived in two worlds. I can truly say that before I came to accept myself as human, above all else, I behaved in accord with whomever or whatever group I happened to be with at the time. No one else’s fault. I refuse to allow my lack of self confidence at the time to negatively view those with whom I commiserated. I never acted anything but what my spirit was strong enough to withstand.
To say that when I was looked at with suspicion from folks who looked a hell of a lot like me was more defining of my reality than those who looked at me and had the gall to mouth “you’re not like other blacks” would be a coward’s retreat. Both responses came from a deep, ingrained ignorance. Not of themselves, but of generally accepted concepts and notions that they failed to examine on any meaningful level. I have neither contempt nor pity for either party. Ignorance is a choice. I found camaraderie, appreciation, respect and love from a multitude of people of many persuasions, weaknesses, strengths and hues.
Having said that, now when I meet ignorance, I spare ignorance no quarter. However I react, short of escalating it to the fake male bravado weapon of choice, physical confrontation, I am justified. I can relate to challenging someone who must preface a statement with “I’m not racist” or “I have black friends” on some ignorance that is soon to fall from their lips. I can also relate to some weak soul needing me to be on me knees in the mud with them. My perspectives and reactions to those various situations wouldn’t sit well with a lot of people. But it does not matter. It is my perspective that can not be completely understood by those who have not walked my path or one similar. Just like I can never completely understand childbirth. It is. I must be as empathetic as possible and keep my mouth shut on how a woman chooses to express that uniquely feminine quality.
Keep on doing what you do, Scottie. Some folks appreciate the honesty.
We all need more of that.
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