Let’s imagine a world where all
the world’s religious leaders decree tomorrow that eating is bad, sinful, and
wrong, and moreover, that if you absolutely MUST eat, it can’t be enjoyable, it
has to be bland, without taste, and you have to eat in secret and in shame, and
if you enjoy eating that you are a bad person.
Almost immediately, your normal, healthy mind would scream at you to
enjoy that lobster, that juicy mango or summer peach, that hot apple pie with
ice cream at all costs. Everyone would
know in their hearts that eating is essential for life, that there is
absolutely nothing wrong with eating, eating is essential for survival, even
that eating a good meal with family and friends is one of the few joys in life
that has no compare. But the pressure
from society telling you that eating is bad and wrong would set up a mental
conflict, a dichotomy where you feel you would need to lie, cheat, and
manipulate in order to eat, where you were shamed into feeling bad for enjoying
a good meal. Advertisers would use
images of all sorts of delicious food to sell their products but they would
make sure no one was eating in their commercials. Eventually, after enough time, everyone would
co-sign the concept that eating was sinful and wrong and they would publicly
adopt a position of looking down their noses at anyone who said that they
enjoyed eating while you nearly everyone was reading cookbooks, watching
cooking shows in private, and people would be left trying to reconcile why
something that they enjoy so much, something so positive and beneficial, is considered
bad.
Imagine for a moment, if you
would, how eating would become this huge underground phenomenon. If you tell people something that is natural
and healthy is wrong, if you tell someone that their natural urges and desires
are something they should be ashamed of and is bad, they will find a way to
revel in it behind closed doors. People
would have secret food orgies, they would develop food fetishes, like they
can’t eat unless it’s on a paper plate or they only eat donuts or they would
only eat in the dark. No one would have
a concept of what a healthy meal even consisted of because there would be no
honest discussion of nutrition or portion size, because the simple act of even
talking about eating would be considered bad, and misinformation about eating
would be rampant. Children naturally
would experience hunger and want to taste different things but adults would
shame them into believing that eating was wrong and that they couldn’t enjoy
it. On message boards and forums all
over the internet people would have a united voice of feigned moral indignation
and outrage at anyone who said they loved to eat food but in the privacy of
their own homes, they would be installing gourmet kitchens.
After enough time, the government
would step in and enact laws reinforcing that eating was bad and convincing the
masses that bread and water was more than sufficient for survival and that
anyone who liked anything more than that was a social leper and a freak. The
politicians and loudest opponents of eating would secretly have private chefs
making meals fit for a king while they were out proselytizing about how sinful
eating is and the perils of food. People
wouldn’t be allowed to learn how to cook or feed themselves and using
condiments and spices would bring down the wrath of the folks who insist that
eating is only valid if it’s for survival.
So, eventually, you would have a
world where everyone believed that something beautiful, natural, and healthy
was commonly and openly considered bad, wrong, and sinful. People’s psyches would be at war within
themselves. The belief that eating was
bad would seep into every aspect of life and culture to where eventually, no
one even questioned that eating was wrong and anyone who said that eating was
natural and healthy and could even be positive would be shunned. Eating disorders would be the norm and no one
would acknowledge it or seek help for their conditions because they would be
ashamed of admitting that they liked eating.
The human mind can’t function in a healthy way under such turmoil so it
shuts down in the face of such a conflict, it compensates with
dysfunction. Your inner being inherently
knows that eating is right and good but it’s been convinced by society that
it’s wrong so the human mind struggles.
It starts craving eating things that are barely edible, things that are
toxic, things that aren’t even food in an effort to wage a war against what
society tells them is wrong. People
would start eating rotted, moldy food in private, eating stuff that will hurt them;
they start feeling entitled to violently take other people’s food by any means
necessary. Meanwhile EVERYONE would be
eating. A few people would conform and
eat only the bare minimum to survive and society would INSIST that they are the
normal ones and that anyone who enjoyed eating was a deviant. MOST people would be eating and enjoying food
in private and this entire underground eating frenzy would be taking place, in
plain sight and under the radar, because no one is willing or brave enough to
challenge the belief that eating is wrong.
Now, substitute the word eating with
fucking.
It is precisely this
millennia-old belief that sex is taboo, the repression and compartmentalization
of sex, it is the very false belief that sex is naughty, dirty, bad, and wrong
that creates rapists, child molesters, sex addicts, sexual deviants, and a
culture of casual, unsafe sex because the mind and spirit are at war with what
is supposed to be positive and absolutely life-affirming. Religious leaders convinced us long, long ago
that sex was bad, dirty, shameful and wrong.
They needed the world to believe that if one were to have sex, that it
was only to be missionary sex for procreation inside of marriage. They were wrong. They lied.
Sex is normal, healthy, We have been convinced that sex is bad,
shameful, sinful, and wrong when it’s healthy, beautiful, and right. No one, not one of us comes into this world
except through sex. Pleasure is our
birthright. Ecstatic orgasm is a form of
meditation, a form of prayer. There is
such a thing as healthy sexuality and it consists of far more than missionary
position on a Friday night with the lights out between two married, white,
mildly unattractive and boring, financially stable heterosexuals. But humanity is so cut off from what should
be healthy sexuality that we can’t even have a conversation about it. People assume that healthy sexuality is boring
and bland and that’s simply not the case.
Sex should be a beautiful buffet of different sights, sounds, tastes,
smells, and experiences that stimulate us on different levels but it’s become
something we do that we think is nasty and wrong and we need to get off on
degradation and humiliation and pain and whatever else they feel is bad and
wrong to compensate for feeling ashamed about their own natural desires.
“But, that’s crazy,” you say,
“That’s a silly comparison. Everyone HAS
to eat, you need it to live. Sex isn’t a
necessity.” Oh, but you are so very
wrong. Sex is essential for our healthy
existence. We can live without it but we
are damaged without it as well. Touch is
essential for life, intimacy is essential, hot, sweaty orgasms with another
human being are essential for our survival.
I’m not just talking about the fact that sex for procreation is essential,
obviously, civilization dies if we don’t have babies. I’m not talking about sex for recreation when
people go on craigslist and they screw the first person who sends a face
picture. People have been CONVINCED that
everyone else in the world is sexually conservative, that no one else could
possibly have different, complex, or even unhealthy fantasies. Society tells us that the only acceptable way
to have sex is with soft music playing in the background and candles lit and
three minutes of vigorous humping. In
reality, people are doing things sexually that are extreme, dangerous, and even
hurtful and there’s evidence everywhere you turn that people are into all sorts
of extreme sexual behaviors in every corner of this not so great nation. Think of a sexual fetish, no matter how
obscure, and there are hundreds of websites catered to exactly that. Yet for centuries, society has implied that
everyone on the planet is having sex only for procreation and anyone doing
anything more than that is a degenerate.
So, the mind, unsure of how to deal with these contradictory messages,
copes by compartmentalizing sex, shutting it off until it becomes an urge and a
drive that have dire consequences when approached from an emotionally and
sexually immature vantage point.
Your subconscious minds tells you
that it’s perfectly natural to enjoy oral and anal sex because it feels
delicious and yummy but since childhood, you’ve been told that anything you
feel “down there” is rooted in evil.
Your subconscious minds knows that sex with the same gender doesn’t
define you, make you evil, or make you a freak, it’s simply another way to
experience pleasure. But thousands of
years of denial and lies tells you that if you experience pleasure with someone
of the same gender, you are in the minority, a freak of nature, that you are
weird. You aren’t weird. Everyone else is a freak for actually
believing the lie that gender has anything to do with how you experience
pleasure. Experiencing pleasure with
someone of the same gender doesn’t alter your identity, it doesn’t make you
less of a person, you aren’t even in the minority. That’s just another lie society has told
us. EVERYONE can experience pleasure
with someone of the same gender it’s just that they have been socialized to
believe it’s wrong. Nothing more.
Every sexual dysfunction can be
traced back to this belief that sex is bad.
People molest children because they have been brainwashed to believe in
this erroneous concept that people are sexless, so being sexual with a child
becomes the ultimate arousal. Their
innocence, or the act of taking it, making children into something dirty and
naughty, becomes a point of arousal for individuals who can’t reconcile the
fact that sex is natural and that they shouldn’t be trying to coerce or
manipulate children into being sexual. Sex
with children is taboo and anything that is wrong, taboo, kinky, different, or
unspoken becomes more arousing sexually for people who don’t have a healthy
concept of what intimacy, passion, love,
connection, or what it takes to maintain an adult relationship. If we taught people that sex was natural, and
had discussions about the psychological, social, physical, mental, and
emotional ramifications of having sex, if we taught people how to be sexually
mature rather than convince them that they are the only people in the world who
have sexual desires beyond missionary sex, we could eliminate childhood sexual
abuse in one generation. Men rape
because they have been socialized in a society that tells them that sex is
wrong and bad but they have urges that tells them that sex is natural. They rationalize the use of violence and
force to rape in order to feel like they are taking back what is their right,
because rape becomes synonymous with pleasure.
People have sex with animals rather than humans because animals don’t
judge, they don’t tell secrets, they don’t have to emotionally connect to a dog
or a horse the same way they need to invest in a relationship with another
person. A human being has the ability to
judge and shame, an animal will only love you more and more unconditionally and
satisfy their sexual desires without complaint.
Every sexual fetish, the act having one’s sexual aroused tied to a
non-sexual object or situation, stems from someone being shamed for a normal
expression of their sexuality when they were in a heightened state of
arousal. They were told that sex was
shameful and bad, the feelings that they experienced were normal and natural,
and then they made a subconscious connection with that object and sex and
shame, BAM, their sexuality is intricately tied to that thing.
Porn addiction is at pandemic
proportions. Men in their 20s need Viagra
because they suffer from erectile dysfunction.
I have no clue why HIV isn’t more rampant in this country because people
are having unprotected sex and they are not getting tested or having their
partners tested in numbers that are staggering.
I strongly believe that the molestation of children, both boys and girls,
is so widespread and commonplace, I dare not think about it too much or it will
make me sick to my stomach. All of these
things are to be expected when sex is deemed taboo and dirty by the powers that
be. If you tell people that something
that is inherent to their nature, a drive as natural as eating is wrong and
bad, their psyches rebel.
I think that when children,
especially girls, who have sex before the age of puberty, (meaning who are
touched, molested and raped in childhood) they grow up to be more sexually
addicted than those who have sex at a more "normal" age, like mid
teens. I'm not condemning anyone with my comment, I'm simply looking at the
origins of the behaviors. I've found that the women who had sexual experiences
with adults in early childhood become hardwired for sexual addiction and crave
more experiences like slapping, choking, humiliation, degradation, etc. when they
become adults, they need sex for validation, they need abuse for validation.
I've found the same for men as well, they simply tend to be hardwired to
subjugate and oppress when they become adults if the sexual abuse was from a
female. They tend, and the key word is tend, to be sexually submissive and
masochistic if the abuser was male but they display the same level of sexual
need and addiction as women. Again, I'm not judging anyone. I'm simply trying
to figure out the origins of our sexuality in an effort to create a healthier
dialogue about sex. So, while I am not putting anyone down for what they like
sexually, I really am suggesting that the need to be humiliated and degraded is
one not a natural one that comes from an healthy place. I acknowledge that some
people want and need to be degraded and made to feel humiliated during sex to
experience arousal and that is a very valid desire but I'm going to say that in
an alternate, parallel world, sex would not be about degradation and shame but merely
pleasure and connection. I think it would be a wonderful world if people were
to experience exaltation, celebration, and validation while getting the bejesus
fucked out of them. If we eliminate this
entire belief that sex is bad and sinful, we eliminate the sexual compulsion
and dysfunction that surrounds it, we heal ourselves.
Schools teach that sex is
bad. The church teaches that sex is bad. Our parents spank, shame, and punish us for
our normal childhood expressions of sexuality. Politicians try to regulate our sexuality so
that we are criminalized for our own natural desires. The entire world is convinced that we need to
be ashamed of our sexuality and it’s created more pain and dysfunction that can
be imagined. Sex is as natural as eating
and we need to restore a sense of beauty and reverence to our sexuality in order
for us to collectively heal from the abuses that have left us fragmented and
dysfunctional.
Copyright 2013 AfroerotiK All
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