AfroerotiK
Erotic provocateur, racially-influenced humanist, relentless champion for the oppressed, and facilitator for social change, Scottie Lowe is the brain child, creative genius and the blood, sweat, and tears behind AfroerotiK. Intended to be part academic, part educational, and part sensual, she, yes SHE gave birth to the website to provide people of African descent a place to escape the narrow-mined, stereotypical, limiting and oft-times degrading beliefs that abound about our sexuality. No, not all Black men are driven by lust by white flesh or to create babies and walk away. No, not all Black women are promiscuous welfare queens. And as hard as it may be to believe, no, not all gay Black men are feminine, down low, or HIV positive. Scottie is putting everything on the table to discuss, debate, and dismantle stereotypes in a healthy exchange of ideas. She hopes to provide a more holistic, informed, and enlightened discussion of Black sexuality and dreams of helping couples be more open, honest, and adventurous in their relationships.
Monday, November 21, 2011
My Romantic Resume
It's time. It's time for me to be in a healthy relationship. I'm not getting any younger, I've done the work on myself to be a great partner, now is the time to manifest the man who can share my life.
The following is Scottie in a nutshell. I'm putting myself out there, being open and receptive for getting and sharing a divine love.
I'm Miss Non-confrontational and Pleasant to be Around. Most men want a woman who is sweet. Sweet is for bunnies and women who are emotionally submissive. I'm not sweet. Granted, I don't like to argue. I don't have the need to be right. I don't need to have the last word or prove my point but I’m not complacent and I won’t cater to a man’s inflated ego. I'm childlike in my awe of things that move me but I’m far from childish. I fly into a rage when I'm lied to but other than that, I'm good to go.
I'm Ms Radical Black Feminist. I don't hate men, I don't hate white men, I DO hate the privilege that a penis and/or white skin affords some people without merit and I work to dismantle the fallacy of male domination and white supremacy with my words and deeds. If you don't like the idea of me saying that (white) men have unfair privileges in this society, I'm not the one for you.
I'm Ms. AfroerotiK. I write personalized, customized erotic stories for a living. My life is dedicated to showing African Americans in a healthy sexual light and dismantling the stereotypes of Black women being ghetto hoochies and Black men being thugs and pimps. I write stories about all facets of Black and interracial sexuality, including individuals in the GBLT community, giving them a voice and an outlet to feel validation and respect. I'm more open minded about sex than the vast majority of the population. That being said, I'm not physically sexual with anyone unless I'm in a relationship with them so while I can discuss any kink, fetish, or fantasy under the sun, while I can be as brutally forthcoming and open in my discussions of the specifics of what I like, I’m not going to have sex with anyone unless I am 100% positive that they are committed to me for more than my physicality.
I'm Ms. Flexible who can adapt to most situations and not afraid to decline an offer if it isn't to my particular liking.
I’m Ms. Straightforward . . . Do I even have to expound? I don’t play games, I don’t expect a mind reader, I’m not pulling any punches.
Independent is my middle name. Actually, it's my confirmation name but let's not get caught up in minutia. You needn't worry that I'm going to give up my goals, aspirations, and dreams or lose my identity in being your girlfriend because I have more drive, ambition, and pure spunk than most people could even dream of. While I adore being partnered, and I'm EXCELLENT at being a girlfriend (loving, nurturing, supportive, the whole nine) I am a woman with a mission that can’t be distracted.
I’m Ms. Loyal, faithful, and monogamous to a fault. When I'm with someone, I only have eyes for him. If I feel the relationship is not providing me with something I need, I'll address it with hopes of a resolution or end the relationship before I look elsewhere. I expect the same in return from my partner.
I’m Ms. No Pressure. I don’t want a ring, I am not planning on how to get you to marry me, I’m not looking for you to spend every minute of your time with me. I just want companionship, intimacy, and connection. Anything more than that is a bonus.
I’m Ms. Low Maintenance. I'm considered attractive by some, not so much by others. My looks, appearance, and wardrobe don't define me. I am grounded, down to earth, non-pretentious and humble.
I need someone to remind me that I am a woman in my lonely existence, that I do have value more than my aesthetics. I want a male friend with whom I can express my fears, doubts, and insecurities without being labeled damaged or imperfect. I’d love a male voice to tell me goodnight and someone with whom I can share the details of my day. I’d like to think that I could make life’s journey a little less daunting as I’d like to hope that you might be able to do for me. Not many men would be open to a woman like me but nothing ventured is nothing gained for sure, right?
Peace and many blessings,
Ms. Trying to stay sane in this crazy mixed-up world.
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Learning to Love
Monday, September 20, 2010
I Am Not Mediocre
I am unique (and nothing less than blessed) in that I have huge numbers of people who like and respect me, even if they don’t agree with everything I say. I try to stay as humble as possible and recognize that those people who like my work, who validate me with compliments and praise, are worthy of my recognition and gratitude. There are times when I couldn’t make it through the day without the kind words and accolades I get from friends and fans alike.
I’m baffled, however, by the number of people who seem to express a hatred, disgust, and venomous rage towards me. By every conceivable measure, I am a nice person. I treat people fairly, with respect, I am kind and considerate, I don’t gossip or backstab. So I am taken aback at those times when people attack me personally, with malicious intent, who try to hurt me, who seem to get some sort of pleasure in saying hurtful things to me.
It’s always my nature to ask myself at those times, when I’m the victim of attack from people, “what did I do wrong, what’s wrong with me?” Intellectually, I have to recognize that there is something inherent in me, something unique, different, and special that makes people uncomfortable with my energy, my aura, my being. It’s precisely because I’m not average, because I am have done the work to evolve, grow, and transform that people find me sooooo offensive. I realize academically that the very people who hate me most, who direct so much energy trying to tear me down and hurt me are the very people who have not done the work to mature or evolve themselves. They would rather I stagnate and wallow where they are, in their complacent, satisfied existence where they don’t question or challenge their worldview or try to grow and evolve. The people who love to wallow in their dysfunction, the ones who have lived their lives rationalizing and justifying their pathologies in order to elevate themselves, in order to make themselves feel good are the ones who HATE me, who feel the need to try to tear me down.
I am different. I see the world differently. I’ve challenged myself to see beyond the mediocre trappings of this society. I’ve redefined what beauty means to me, what masculinity and femininity mean to me. I’ve seen the lies in organized religion and let go of the brainwashing that controls the masses. I work hard to heal the detrimental messages that were forced down my throat about sexuality, relationships, and that have tried to silence my independence. I am HONEST. I speak truth to power. I attack ideas, not people. That offends many people. They hate that I can expose my flaws and shortcomings so easily, so truthfully with the world and they have to hide their true feelings behind a façade of being perfect. My vulnerability and candor makes them angry. They hate me for going against the grain, for not succumbing to the capitalist, materialistic, superficial trappings that hold them captive, by which they measure their worth. Because I can’t be defined by an income amount or a type of car but because I live my life in integrity and in truth, in pursuit of higher goals, they want to do and say whatever they can to hurt me. It seems that they feel better about themselves if they denigrate me.
I am not mediocre, nor will I ever be again. I will not be entertained by Meet the Browns or The Housewives of Any Place. I will not my spend money on any form of entertainment that uses the N word; I do not tolerate the use of the N word in my presence. I do not consider myself a bitch, I’m not aroused by bad boys, I do not want a man with a Hummer or a basketball contract. I do not think Zane is a good writer, in fact, I think she’s horrible and while I have nothing against her personally, I hate what she has done to generations of black girls and women in terms of warping their view of relationships and sexuality. I don’t listen to commercial urban radio with their monotonous, talentless songs and mediocre talk hosts. I do not idolize Oprah or anyone just because they have a big back account. I don’t think my beauty is in my pedicured toes, the length of my hair, or how much of my ass I can show off in my tight jeans. I speak out about racism. I identify the diseased mindsets white people have and black people buy into that perpetuates oppression and bigotry.
I embrace the fact that I’m not average. I accept with graciousness that I have been given the gift of mastery of the written word, insight, and a level of honesty that does touch people. I’m not mediocre and I accept that, I celebrate that. If that means that I have to endure the virulent, bitter attacks of people who wish to tear me down, I will accept their attacks with the understanding that if I weren’t living my life, outside the box, In Loving Color, they wouldn’t be moved to hate me so vehemently.