There are times, during meditation, when I get a revelation, some nugget of divine truth, and I grasp that truth on a cellular level, I understand the concept in my being. After meditation, throughout the day in my daily interactions, I can remember the words of my revelations but I don't retain the understanding, the knowing, the sensation of it being an unshakeable truth that resides within me.
Recently, I have been charged to remember throughout my day that everyone believes what they believe to be right and true in the world based on their own personal experience and worldview. There is no amount of arguing, convincing, there is no civil debate, there is no sarcasm or quick-witted take down that is going to get a person to challenge the core beliefs that they hold dear and true about how life works, myself included. Only empathy, compassion, and love will change a person's heart, only light can cast out dark. Every single person believes that they way they see the world is the way the world is. Every person believes that their opinions are facts, that anyone who disagrees with them is bad and wrong and anyone who agrees with their their beliefs is good and right. The challenge for me going forward is to see myself in every person who holds beliefs that don't share the same experience and worldview as me so they can't truly understand the pain I feel in navigating a world as a Black woman that, I perceive as being more hostile to me than to white people.
I forget that when I'm arguing with white people about racism. I forget that they didn't make a conscious choice to believe the things they believe. I seem to forget in the heat of the moment that the white people who hold the most offensive and racist beliefs weren't raised in a cave by animals, away from all human contact and media, only to emerge espousing hateful Republican/Fox News talking points from the ethers of the Universe; everything they believe is a direct result of their life experiences, just as mine is. No one says, "My opinion could be wrong and I should keep an open mind so that I can see the error of my ways in this discussion." No, no, no. Everyone says, "This bitch is wrong and I'm right and she's so dumb she can't see how wrong she is." I know, because that's exactly what I say about them when I'm angrily explaining why they are, in fact, very racist despite their insistence that they aren't.
I forget that white people and I have one thing in common and that is that we have all come through the world with parents and family and society and religion, all telling us who we are and what is truth, all outside forces with agendas, shaping our opinions of of what's right and wrong. No matter how many times I think I have embraced the concept and that I understand on a deep, intrinsic level that white people see the world exactly as they have experienced it, not the way I see it, I always seem to forget.
I go on the attack when I deal with overtly racist white people because I believe they are intentionally trying to participate in my oppression rather than seeing themselves as victims of the same system that shaped my identity, just in reverse. I call their ideas stupid. I insult the very beliefs they have have known as truth their entire lives. I expect some sort of "rational and enlightened" acknowledgement that they don't know anything about racism and that 1. They need to acknowledge that they are racist, and that their beliefs are wrong, and 2. They need to graciously and humbly let me educate them on how everything that they have ever thought and believed was wrong. The issue isn't that white people aren't racist or that their perceptions don't need to be evolved. The problem is in how to communicate with people to get them to understand that what they have been taught, what they believe infringes on the self-determination of people of color. And I need to understand and remember that they believe equally that I'm wrong and need my beliefs changed to align with theirs. Finding the balance, finding the compromise is the key.
In order for me to live my best life, for me to fully manifest the life I deserve, it is my very strong belief that racism must be addressed and healed. The very strongly held beliefs of white people that dictate that I'm inherently inferior, the behaviors and practices that they engage in, the political and financial decisions they make are based on those racist beliefs, are detrimental to my well-being so their thinking must evolve to allow for my humanity. I know of know other way than to continue to speak my truth with the hopes that someone will read and understand that we all win when they begin to see that the narrative that has existed about Black people for centuries is false and there there is nothing inherently inferior about us.
It is my desire for white people to understand that we can all live in peace and harmony when they come to truly understand and embrace that people of African descent are human beings, deserving of the same respect, dignity, and rights of white people, that racism is the poison that hinders us all, white and Black.
White people are the undisputed champions of racism; they invented it, they are invested in believing in t, so if they say that there’s no way in hell that all of Trump’s supporters are racist, because that would exceed the ARC, the standardized Accepted Racism Comfort level, which I believe was last measured at around 30% of the white population. Any figure higher than that represents a flaw in the methodology. Yes, white people have an actual Council of Racism, with elders and bylaws and quarterly meetings and everything. And the Council has decided that Black people in the United States should be perfectly fine with 30-40% of the white population being overtly and offensively racist. It’s true, it’s so true!
If collective white consciousness had it’s ugly way, they would expect Black people to band together and sing in united harmony that ole Negro spiritual that has been passed down for generations, “Oh, Lawdy, Lawd, up in de sky, judgmental and separate from me, Lawd. Lordy-Lawd, who sees me down here sufferin and don’t never be cutting me no damn slack, Lawd. Oh, yes Lawd, dat white man is a nasty, vile, evil racist son of a bitch, Lawd, who don’t sees me as a humans beings, Lawd. And he be constantly trynta’ keep his motha fucking boot on my neck, Lawd. But I kint complains too much, good ole Lwd, cuz, 60-70% of the population is only passively racist and their hearts be in da right place, Lawd! Praise you to the highest blue-eyed and blond-haired, white Jesus who is gonna save me when I’m dead, LAAAAAWD! Aaaaaamen!” There are even an updated rap version and an Electric Slide-type wedding/dance version.
It's easy to be distracted with my snarky commentary but clarification is necessary because racism is a complicated and complex situation for sure. It’s not true that 30-40% of white people are racist. Goodness no! It’s way more than that. And it’s not true that Black people are in any way comfortable with any percentage of racism whatsoever; that’s just the collective delusional consensus that the media tells the public that is the researched and polled percentage of white people who are racist, +/- 4% margin of error. That is the collective misunderstanding, that Black people are supposed to be tolerant of a certain amount of racism because white people have a right to be racist and oppressive, even at the cost of Black people’s rights of life, liberty, and the pursuit of some mother-fucking, well-deserved happiness.
White people collectively believe that Black people are not allowed to protest, riot, strike, complain, pout, dislike, or roll their eyes too hard when it comes to discussing racism. And as long as Blacks stay in their place, don’t complain, and show sufficient gratitude for the many blessings of living in a 40% racist society affords us, white people won’t spend every waking moment dedicating their lives to trolling Black people online telling us how not racist this county would be if only we unappreciative Negros would just accept that only 40 percent of white Americans are the hardcore, “I hate niggers,” variety of racists.
Black people are expected to tolerate racism. We are expected to suck it up, deal with it, and not get our panties in too much of a bunch because blatant racism is still very prevalent in every facet of society and we can’t be expected to change that too fast or make our demands too extreme because it’s just going to be too upsetting to some racist white people. It’s an unspoken nod to the fact that . . . well, slavery . . . just the word slavery is sufficient, no need to describe the ways slavery was horrible. Who wants to hear about those sorts of crimes against humanity when we can collectively pretend that slavery was a great opportunity to rescue those Black savages from heathen Africa and give them unpaid jobs, it was to help them, right?
While most white people have never once had a CONSCIOUS thought of telling Black people that there is an exact percentage of racism that we should be willing to tolerate, when questioned about what percentage of racism Black people should tolerate before rioting and burning shit to the ground, white people tell you that the destruction of property, protesting, that anything that tries to change the way things are now is just too radical. It's evidence that things are more valuable than Black lives. And their justification, white people's justification for things staying the same as they have always been will fall under the . . . “that’s just the way things are,” rationalizations for racism responses that is so commonplace it can’t even be questioned.
White people subconsciously and collectively feel that white people have a right to be racist without too much getting too much flak from Black people because . . . follow the thought process all the way through . . . because Black people really are inferior. That has to be the core belief, that Black people really are dumb and worthless and subhuman and all the standard KKK bullet points on Blacks. Even the most ardent anti-racist has to believe that some Blacks are just undeserving of the same luxuries and privileges that white people enjoy. There is a certain collective belief that Black people really do just need to suck it up, shut the fuck up, and deal with the reality that a certain percentage of white people are racists and that’s always the way it’s going to be because . . . the subconscious belief is . . . that, “You niggers are undeserving of equality and justice like the rest of us whites.” Hear that collective sigh of relief, from all the white people who are assured they aren’t racist because they would never say that about a Black person? It’s false confidence.
For white people to say that Black people should tolerate living in deplorable and impoverished ghetto conditions without protesting, without DEMANDING justice and equality as if our lives depended on it, and they do, is to say that the color of our skin means that we really should just deal with the cards we are dealt and not complain too much, even if the dealer cheated.
White people who are serious about doing anti-racism work should be charged with the assignment to picture themselves switching places with a homeless Black person. Imagine switching places with them, them moving into your home, driving your car, having your phone, eating your food, bathing in your bathroom, sleeping in your bed. Now, living as a Black homeless person would, imagine yourself without money, food, water, shelter, without family and support and even without respect from other human beings. Imagine that you stink so bad that your stench comes to define your very identity. Imagine that you are spit on, chased, beaten, and called names by incredibly affluent, rich white men for sport. What does that feel like? How does that make you feel? What sensations do you have when they are kicking you, making fun of you for being homeless? Imagine yourself with your every belonging you own in the world in a bag or shopping cart. Imagine how you would want people to treat you. Imagine how you would want people to speak to you, what you would want them to say to you to help you.
Now, imagine if you go back to your house and the homeless person decides that they deserve to live in your house, that they deserve to live nicely and that you deserve to be unbathed, unhoused, and unsafe. What if the Black person decides that they can roll up their windows and lock their doors when they drive past you? How would that make you feel? How would it make you feel if they looked down on you, told you that you it was your fault for being homeless and they couldn't help you and that it was your responsibility to get yourself out of your own situation, even if you aren't responsible for being there in the first place.
Do you feel outraged? Do you believe that you are only a certain type of person deserve to be homeless? What sort of person is that? What sort of person deserves to sleep on the cold ground? What did they do to deserve that? What did you do to deserve it? Can you imagine a scenario where you don’t feel like you deserve respect and privilege and the comforts you take for granted every day? The feeling of entitlement to live a life that is nice, is innate to human beings. Black people have the same exact feelings and desires, the same needs for living free of stressors and
If you’ve never felt empathy for homeless Black people empathy that you would want extended to you if you were in that situation, if you’ve just now considered that homeless Black people feel exactly what you would feel if you were in their situation, not in an imaginary anti-racism workshop exercise, not homeless of your own poor choices and will, but because RACIST forces manipulated all of society to create an environment where Black people are poor and uneducated. We are not inherently dumb and criminal, and I am deserving of living in comfort.
Racists will defend racism. Racists will say that the fact that there are homeless white people and that they don't deserve any special considerations so Black homeless people are there of their own choosing and reprehensible and lazy because people get what they deserve in life and if they are homeless, it's their fault. Racists actively believe that Black people absolutely do not have an inalienable and inherent right to designer, suburban, affluent things in the same ways that white people are deserving of their middle-class, privileged existence. Black people seemingly aren’t deserving of granite counter tops and walk in closets, we didn’t earn those nice things the way white people did! That's the false belief.
White people fail to grasp that have been systems in place, systemic, institutional, political integrated systems in place to keep Black people poor and uneducated without agency to control their very own manifest destinies. According to racists, the playing field has been even since 1865 according to them. Or slightly after Martin Luther King was assassinated; one or the other. The belief that Black people are deserving of being ghetto, living in squalid living conditions is based on the racist belief that slavery had no impact, that racist political policy hasn’t intentionally created a socio-political system that oppresses people of African descent. The truth is, we are NOT inherently inferior, that our status has always been dictated to by warped individuals who defined us as less than human.
And let’s hope there’s a concurrent tsunami wave of collective shame and recognition that is moving across legions of woke anti-racists who just realized that they have a lot more work to do in seeing the inherent humanity of Black people. White people must come to understand that Black people are not poor and incarcerated because of genetics or skin color but because of racist policy and practice. I hope that white people can read my words and understand that their core beliefs have rationalized that Black people should accept horrid living conditions, substandard medical care, and intentionally designed horrific school systems created to keep Black people uneducated without complaining, because that's the way things are. The realization that white people would NEVER allow themselves to be situation where someone else has determined their fate of poverty and despair and that they would never find comfort in conforming to that injustice is the objective.
So, as long as the good Negroes conform and don’t complain about racism too much, white people will allow us to wallow in the quagmire that is racist AmeriKKKa in relative peace and simultaneous terror and depression. So, that was absolutely the longest possible way to explain that racism is so innately and intrinsically woven into American culture that dictate the unwritten code of how tolerant/disgruntled Black people are allowed to be and what level of outrage we are allowed to express in this oppressive racist society.
