The DL man versus the AfroerotiK man

The DL man is so afraid to admit to himself that he can’t live up to the narrow role of manhood that society has afforded him that he goes off and engages in unprotected and dangerous sex acts with other men because he can distance himself from the act. It’s not really “him” doing those things, being unmanly, so he can turn off his moral compass and separate himself from his actions. The DL man, in his heart, believes that his manhood is defined by how he receives sexual pleasure, in how many women he can conquer so he doesn’t feel guilt or remorse for telling women how much he despises homosexuals when, in fact, he, feels compelled to have sexual experiences that fall outside that reality without ever having to face up to his own desires or the motivations that drive him to them.

The opposite of the DL man is the AfroerotiK man. The AfroerotiK man is a man who can acknowledge that wearing that role of super-macho, emotionless, manly man isn’t working out for him. The AfroerotiK man, one who can acknowledge the truth that he finds arousal in the arms of another man for many reasons, not the least of which could be the concept of feeling loved, nurtured, protected, and even submissive, is healing and transformative and has no shame in that fact. The AfroerotiK man is one who can redefine manhood to mean something more than paying bills and having a woman on his arm that other men desire. The AfroerotiK man is one who acknowledges that honesty, commitment, integrity, compassion, empathy, courage, and being able to admit your fears, insecurities, and flaws is the TRUE measure of a man. The AfroerotiK man realizes that a woman is more than a pretty symbol of how successful a man is, that she is a partner, a friend, an ally, and someone with whom he can build a solid future with.

Black and White Love

Interracial relationships are one of the most highly controversial issues that the Black community deals with. Black women feel justifiably slighted by Black men when they choose white women as partners proclaiming them as symbols of status or beauty or behind the cry that white women are more supportive. Black men feel a sense of betrayal and rage when they see sistas with the proverbial “slave master.” All too often, the reasons why white people pursue interracial couplings are based on the objectification of Black people and racist, stereotypical perceptions of our sexuality. There are a host of reasons a great many interracial relationships operate from of an unhealthy perspective. That is not to say that they don’t work for some people. Obviously, with the numbers of interracial relationships, a great many do work for the people who engage in them. For a great many others, they refuse to see how their preferences are not born out of colorblind love but of deep-seated beliefs that white people are better.

As more and more African Americans become completely assimilated, distancing themselves from the Black people and culture in all areas of their lives including the workplace, church, social outlets, in every aspect of their lives, it’s only reasonable to assume that those people would have more in common with people who don’t look like them. Does that signal the end of racism or a model for all Black people to emulate? Adopting someone else’s identity to distance yourself from your own unique culture, heritage, history and culture is never psychologically healthy. The mainstream would have us believe that we as Black people should disavow ourselves from anything and everything that has to do with our African identity in order to be more like them. The real problem lies in the fact that African American identity was born out of oppression and slavery; it was formed out of inferiority and self-hatred. Africans who were enslaved had to form their identities, beliefs, customs and coping mechanisms because they were beaten, whipped, and tortured, because they were raped, bought and sold like property, they were taught to hate anything that was inherent to their African identity and to covet those things that their owners possessed. Many African American behaviors are, in fact, unhealthy. Not through our own devices, however, but because of our unique history of enslavement. It is in the restoration and recognition of healthy African principles, re-establishing and redefining an African centered identity that one should be able to form healthy relationship with someone of another race.
How could anyone love themselves when everything in society tells them that they are inherently inadequate, that they are less than human? Slaves couldn’t love their own hair, their own facial features, their traditions and customs when white people repeatedly beat into them that they were inferior. But that was a long time ago, right? That has no effect on anyone today, right? While no one wants to admit or believe that slavery has had any long-lasting effects, while everyone wants to believe that they are beyond any of the messy realities of an ugly past, unfortunately, there are far too many Black people today who don’t want to be Black. Add a whole bunch of clichés and rhetoric like, “color doesn’t matter,” and “love knows no color,” and you get a whole lot of denial about how many interracial relationships are formed. If you can’t find beauty in the features that stare back at you in the mirror, if you want to distance yourself from the people who look like you, if you feel validated because white people find you attractive, then you’ve set up an internal struggle with your subconscious mind, fighting with your external desire to be someone other than who you are.

What about those Black people who don’t look Black? What about those African Americans who don’t have African features? One could argue that it’s perfectly okay for them to date interracially because they have the same features of white people, they look closer to white than they do Black. That ignores the fact that the history of light skinned Black people is that of rape by slave owners. It discounts the generations of ancestors who did everything they could to maintain their light privilege. Concerted efforts were made to ensure that darker skinned genes didn’t “infect” the family line. How can anyone deny the dysfunction in that sort of thinking? Many do, most people adamantly deny it because they refuse to see the connection of the tragic history of mulatto slaves being given preferential treatment and how that made them want to distance themselves from their Black-featured brothers and sisters.

All too often, when Black people come into an interracial relationship, the assumption is that they have somehow raised themselves up to a level in which they can be equal with whites. That basic assumption is based in the racist belief that black people are inherently inferior. If a person has to have no cultural identity to be with a partner, if they must conform to a set of standards and behaviors that denounce their unique background and heritage, there is something terribly wrong with the balance of that relationship. No interracial partnership should be formed without both parties willing to share equally in cultures and histories and traditions that support the equal and balanced footings of both partners. Black people have a history of slavery, racism, oppression, discrimination, and suffering that has shaped our collective consciousness. To deny that from, from both black and white partners, is unhealthy.

All too often, the selection of a white partner is based on an inheritance of passed on “mental enslavement.” During slavery, white people were heralded as the most attractive, more intelligent and overall better race. The features of white people, thin lips, small noses, flowing hair, and fair skin were held as the standard of beauty for Black people. The nappy hair, thick lips, wide noses and dark skin of African people was thought to be ugly and that belief was instilled in slaves for generations. Those messages have been passed down generationally and have never been addressed on a collective basis to rid our consciousness of those poisonous beliefs. To many Black men, the only women that are attractive are women that look as close to white as possible, so it’s little wonder they would migrate to white women. Dark skinned women represent what they believe to be ugly.

Lots of Black men justify their choices to fuck white women, to have them as sexual partners and not romantic partners, by saying that they are doing it to get back at the white man. Black men do not make a conscious decision to sleep with a white woman because so many Black women were raped at the hands of white men and to seek revenge. The conscious decision to fuck a white woman is made because they like feeling the supposed “power” they have in the beds of white women where the sexual stereotype is reinforced, where they are told that they are superior because of their savage sexuality. I have never met a brother who was so proud of his Black heritage and culture that he decided to seek his own brand of reparations from society and have his way sexually with the white woman to make up for the years of degradation that Black women have suffered. In almost every case, you hear Black men saying how sexy white women are, how beautiful, how uninhibited they are in bed. It’s usually followed by a litany of reasons why Black women are unattractive as partners because they have too much attitude, aren’t sexual enough, or they simply say, “I can’t help who I’m attracted to.”

The thought processes of the plantation are not that far removed from our consciousness. During slavery, light skinned women were allowed the luxury to be in the house, thus, as a Black man, to get one meant you might have some special privileges. White women were even more privileged. Those were the reinforcements that our grandparents were taught by their grandparents. Just because we have stopped delving into the origins of our sickness, does not mean the disease is not rampant. Show me the man that says, “I want my child to have short, wooly hair, a wide nose, thick lips and blacker than coal skin.” Those things are not revered in our society. I'm not saying a man with that consciousness does not exist, I'm saying that in this society, the Black man (and woman) is taught to love everything opposite of that.

In very recent years, Black women have decided to make a mass exodus of sorts in terms of romantic relationships and start dating white men. For many, it’s a choice because they say that the pool of good Black men is shallow, for others, it’s a variation of the same theme as it is for Black men. White men are seen as validation. The message implied is that if a white man is attracted to a Black women, that has to mean she is attractive that she’s achieved the ultimate acknowledgement of acceptance. White men are the final say on everything so their approval has to indicate overcoming the insurmountable stigma of Blackness. The desire to have kids with good hair, and light eyes is rampant in the discussions of Black women who date white men but it’s drowned out by the discussions of how so much more supportive white men can be. How can that be healthy? The answer is that it’s not but those of us who speak out about the REASONS why so many of us find comfort in the arms of people who don’t look like us, we are attacked by the masses who refuse to acknowledge that there are a myriad of contributing factors to the interracial dating trend, most of which are dysfunctional.

Interracial dating is still the forbidden taboo on many people’s lips and in many people’s hearts. The taboo is the people who aren’t willing to look at the reasons why they date interracially. The taboo is in not peeling off the layers and seeing that the true reasons for interracial dating are self-hatred at its most extreme in far, far too many cases.

Copyright 2006 Scottie Lowe

Air AfroerotiK

Welcome aboard Air AfroerotiK Flight 694U headed for the beautiful, sunny shores of pleasure and delight. My name is Scottie and I’m going to be your erotic stewardess for your sensual journey today. The captain assures me it’s going to be a VERY VERY bumpy ride so we ask that you unbuckle your belt, on your pants that is, and any other constricting clothing that limits your mobility and freedom of movement. If you look in the compartment on the back of the seat in front of you, you’ll find a bag to place bras, underwear, or any other unnecessary undergarments that might impede your stimulation and fun. Please take note of where the rest rooms are located aboard the plane for anyone who is interested in redeeming their Mile High Member Club points today. Veteran Mile-Highers are welcome to move freely about the cabin in order to engage in fast and furious fucking inspired by the thrill of getting caught but first time and novice members to the club are asked to restrict their participation to late night flights and first class accommodations only.

We ask that you please observe the smoking signs when lit because the sex you are going to have is going to be smoking, scorching, sizzling, steamy, and hot. Forget peanuts and overpriced mini bottles of alcohol, the meal aboard the flight today is going to be tempting and tasty cum, the kind that erupts from throbbing hard dicks and slippery wet pussies. Cabin pressure is bound to be uncharacteristically high as the entire flight should be dedicated to erotic foreplay that sets the stage for unbridled, raw, passionate, down and dirty sex.

In the event of an emergency, a blanket can be used to obscure prying eyes from the sensual and seductive stroking that comes from throbbing hard erections or aroused and swollen nipples. Very vocal complaining about being too cold from the air conditioning or casually mentioning how sleepy and jet lagged you are will appease those nosey neighbors who might otherwise raise an eyebrow or two as to why someone is scrambling to hide their private parts from view. Do keep in mind that it’s just a rouse in order to get to the more hardcore play.

By now you should have set the stage for some hot and heavy fun. You should be able to pretend to be sleeping so that prying eyes won’t be able to see female passengers freeing their traveling companion’s dick from his pants. Skillfully, slowly, gently, glide your hand up and down that shaft, coaxing it to a fully engorged and aroused state. Once he is in the fully upright and locked position, ladies should whisper in your partner’s ear how you are going to fuck him senseless.

Make sure and tell him exactly how you want it, letting down your guard and exploring all your fantasies. Be sure to tell him things like, “I want you to beat this pussy up. Bend me over and spank my ass while you are ramming your hard dick in me and making me scream and beg for more.” Be liberal in your descriptions, saying things like, “I want you to pull my hair and flip me around like your little rag doll. I want to be your nasty little girl, daddy. I want you to fuck me until I pass out and then fuck me some more. I want my pussy to be sore and my legs to be weak from too much sex so that all we can do is order room service in order to replenish our energy so we can fuck again.”

That dick should be leaking precum by now which can be used to stimulate the sensitive spot where the head and the shaft connect. Continue to stroke slowly, causing the blood to fill that stiff member. Increase pressure and speed slowly, so as to not cause any uncontrollable moaning, building the momentum until that boiling hot cum is ready to erupt in spurt after spurt of orgasmic bliss. Just as that pressure builds, slow down your movements to allow for the procedure to be repeated several times almost to the point of ejaculation and then starting all over again. More than pleasure, you should be eliciting erotic torture so that once behind closed doors, he will be forced to show no mercy and pound . . that. . fucking . . dick . . in . . your, , , pussy. . .so . . . hard . . . you . . . scream.

If the oxygen masks should fall, please attend to the needs of your partner first as one good turn deserves another. Similar techniques can be used to simulate hot wet pussies and stiff erect nipples as well. If our female passengers are appropriately attired, a gentlemen can slide his hand up the smooth warm thighs of his beloved and sexy partner to that soft, wet pussy. Some ladies will be reluctant to let go of their typically cautious and demure demeanor. In this particular instance, it might be necessary to pull out the big guns and hit her with an arsenal of words that will release the inner wanton slut that is longing to get out. One might try saying things like, “I want you to ride my face, sit on it, let me lick that wet slit, drive my tongue up in your hole, tongue fuck it. I want to feel your juices coat my face while you use my mouth to make you cum. Yeah, I can’t wait to feel those soft lips spreading open to give me that delicious honey that pours out when you cum. I want to suck that clit in my mouth and feel your thighs gripping my head, letting me taste all those sweet folds of that pussy I love to eat so much.” Should further inspiration be needed to coax her out of her shell, additional descriptions should be given of how desperate you are to fuck her. For example, if you say to her, “I want to see that sexy ass of yours when you are riding my dick, using it to get off on, working your tight, hot, wet pussy to make yourself cum. Play with my balls so I can shoot my hot nut deep in that pussy and see it leaking out as you collapse on the bed. I want to slide my dick between your sexy lips and let you taste your delicious cum after I fuck you.”

If fingering her wet pussy is not logistically possible due to clothing restrictions, direct all the erotic tension to the sensitive nipples of the passenger. Those passengers sitting next to the window are encouraged to completely expose their breasts beneath the blanket, adding to the excitement and thrill. Using a soft and gentle technique, slowly pull and pinch those nipples, causing the passenger to squirm with frustration and desire. If done correctly, the passenger should be wet and ready for serious fucking the second the landing gear is lowered.

Once again, thank you for flying Air AfroerotiK. We hope you have enjoyed your flight and we hope you will consider traveling with us again.

Vanity is a Sin

As distorted by man (read males) as I know the bible to be and their oppressive agendas, I do believe that it holds within it some truths that the co-opters of the original text did not understand and thus remnants of truth can be found there. We, as a race of people, as human beings, have become so removed from our true natures, from our true divine selves, so superficial that our logic has been stunted. We no longer know how to extract the truths from spiritual texts because our minds no longer function at the level at which we were created to perform; we no longer are capable of comprehending anything more than our current state of diseased thinking. Because Black people specifically learned our religion at the end of a whip, at the base of enslavement, because we had no choice but to believe what the slave master told us was true, we are crippled that much more from our true spiritual selves. Ignorance is truly bliss, because when I lived like the masses, when I thought like the unconscious, I was happy to repeat clichés and never question the things I’d been told.

I remember when I was growing up that my grandmother used to tell me that vanity was a sin. I couldn’t wrap my mind around that concept because I couldn’t figure out how being vain could possibly offend God in any way. I could understand murder, I could understand adultery, but I figured that God created you, why would he be upset if you boasted about his work. Now, I know that there is no such thing as “sin” in the sense that God will punish us for our bad behavior. I now understand that “sin” is really that which prevents us from realizing our true God nature, that which keep us from realizing enlightenment and peace. Studying the mind, dedicating myself to the study of consciousness, I now realize that vanity, narcissism, and self-absorption are states of being that keep us dismembered from the body of the Creator and distort the balance of the universe.

The U.S. is funny in that we are the most dysfunctional nation and yet we parade ourselves the best. This over-inflated ego of the entire nation is an interesting phenomenon but it’s led, in large part, by individuals who can not acknowledge flaw, who have an over-inflated sense of self, whose worlds don’t revolve around the sun, but their egos. It’s a crippling state of mind. The sicker we become, the more arrogant, the further we get from a state of consciousness that is as we were intended to be.

We have become a nation of people who only care about the very things that are spiritually debilitating. “I know I look good. What wo/man could resist me, because I am so hot.” Any time you hear those words you can be assured that the person uttering them is prone to drama, they can’t form healthy relationships, they aren’t capable of realizing how there are consequences to their actions beyond how it directly affects him or her. The obsession with looking good, with clothing, hair and makeup, cars, whatever accouterment is outside the Self, is a sign of death of the spirit. If Jesus is truly supposed to be our model, then the pre-occupation with our appearance, our obsession with proclaiming how we are better than everyone else is, is glaring indication that we are un-Christlike in our carriage.

Just look around at the people who are supposed to be our spiritual leaders. They are the flashiest, the most outwardly oriented people in our society. Turn on the TV and look at any reality show that is created around competition for affection of someone. People who can not admit flaw, people who are determined to be the most desirable, the best looking, the best dressed are the most shallow, superficial, insincere people and the ones that blame everyone else for the issues that they create.

This younger generation seems laser-like in their agenda to be self-absorbed. Relationships can’t be formed if the only person you are intent on pleasing is the reflection in the mirror. I used to think, when I was growing up, that men were more guilty of a distorted sense of self than women. I would meet the biggest, fattest, sloppiest, man who would be unappealing in every way and he would proclaim how sexy he was and I would scratch my head in wonder. A part of me thought that it was a good thing that people could find something attractive in themselves when the world around them didn’t. Women, to a much, much greater extent, seemed to have more low self-esteem and more humility and I always thought that there was something tragic about a beautiful woman who couldn’t see her own beauty. I can no longer say the same thing today. Brothas now demand that the world revolve around their distorted egos and women are socialized to think that their value is to be found in how sexy they are and how many people desire them. I can only imagine how distorted things will be in 20 years from now when this generation’s children are grown having been raised by parents whose only concern are themselves.

Now, before you respond and say, “Yeah, it’s really sad how other people are so vain today, I’m glad I’m not like that,” realize that you are guilty of it yourself. There is an absence of humility that has infected you if you feel you are somehow above anyone else’s behavior. Are there some individuals who have been able to transcend this trend? Yes, of course. Are they the individuals intent on proving to others that they are more enlightened than everyone else around them is? No.

Vanity is surely a sign of dysfunction. A growing cancer is spreading rapidly, killing our spirit, and keeping us from God. Vanity is a sin that is staring us in a very dirty, clouded, cracked mirror.

Neurotic White Women

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This is a Test

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I'll probably have to shut the forums down again but I'm just checking to see if I've found the problem.

There’s a new breed of Black women in town

It’s funny how life sends you circumstances when you resist your internal urges. For a few days now, I’ve been thinking about writing a little something about this new breed of Black women. I kept putting it off and now it seems I must do so because a young lady has put forth a call to have a civil discussion about an article she reposted supposedly to incite people to think.

The said article was nothing less than ignorant, repulsive, misogynist crap. I won’t even quote what it said because it was so vile and offensive that it doesn’t even deserve any more attention. Suffice it to say, it was from the type of emotionally retarded black man who feels free to degrade women for not conforming to his sexist oppressive definition of a woman. The article did NOTHING to make people think. Its sole purpose was to spew sexist rhetoric, displace blame for any wrongdoings men do and place it unfairly on the shoulders of women, and to get women to blindly follow along and jump through chauvinistic hoops in order to degrade other women.

My concern is not the young man who wrote the initial article however. I write enough about that sort of Black man who feels so threatened by Black women that he takes every opportunity to denigrate us and claim he wants to go back to the good old days when men were King of the castle, yet he has NO CLUE how to reign as anything other than an oppressor. You know the one, the guy whose only response is to call a Black woman angry or imply that she doesn’t have a man because she dares to challenge Black men’s obvious short comings. This dude wasn’t even particularly unique, he was typical, stupid, no, ignorant is a better word, and just disgustingly sexist. This dude is laughable and cliché. He’s symptomatic of this ever growing portion of Black men that need to degrade Black women in order to feel manly.

Like I said, my main concern is not the dude who wrote it. My overwhelming concern is the young lady who reposted it, defending her repost of it by saying that it “had validity and truth to it.” My main concern is the generation of young women who can’t articulate, or even recognize and identify, men who are blatantly sexist and offensive. It’s not just this one particular young lady, it seems to be scores of Black women. These women, who, by all measures, should be reasonably intelligent, seem to be as dumb as a bag of rocks when it comes to defending the honor of Black women or even articulating an argument that seems reasonably cogent when such flimsy attacks on us are made. Not only do they not take offense, they celebrate these men.

It’s what I like to call the “Michael Baisden Fan Complex”. No matter how offensive and sexist his comments, no matter how disrespectful his is to Black women, women callers are waiting on the line to say, “Yeah, Michael, you are right.” It’s a new breed of women who defend, coddle, agree with, support, and otherwise glorify the sexist, offensive, divisive, vitriolic filth that emotionally immature men spew and they sign on for it, lock stock and barrel. We’ve raised several generations of Black women to be enslaved to their own oppression. We, as a society, have taught women to conform to men’s sexist demands and to never question, speak out, or confront men whose only interest is in getting women to appease their grandiose and diseased egos. They are so blissfully ignorant, they don’t even have a concept that they should be offended. We’ve let them believe that being called a feminist is a far worse thing to being called than a bitch.

There is something pathological and sick about a man who feels the need to denigrate a Black woman for what we stand for, for what we’ve had to endure, but the sickness is even greater when Black women don’t scream out in outrage. What does it say about us, about our mental health, when Black women pat men on the back for their offensive beliefs? It’s like these young ladies are incapable of even recognizing how detrimental these types of statements are.

What have we done to our young Black women? We teach them that their beauty is in the length of their hair, the roundness of their behinds, the price of their high heeled shoes and pocketbooks. We cripple them by never making them question the status quo and telling them to conform to an ideal of beauty that doesn’t look like them. We celebrate them when they fall in line with the narrow definition of femininity and we try to silence and denounce them when they stand up and say, “No, I won’t be your black Barbie Doll, I’m far more than that.” When Black men say stupid shit like, “What’s wrong with the Black community is Black women haven’t raised Black children right,” these young ladies don’t even have enough common sense to say intelligently in response, “Black women are doing the best they can with the broken tools we’ve been given considering Black men are absentee as fathers, only interested in fathering sons not daughters, and emotionally immature fathers at best when they are around.”

We are in peril as a people as long as we let diseased men define us and Black women follow along like hypnotized drones. Black men keep making the box smaller and smaller for what is acceptable for Black women and Black women keep redefining themselves to fit into that tiny box. As long as our value and worth is placed in appeasing the distorted beliefs of sick men, in feeding their needs as egomaniacs, then we will perish as a people. If Black women can’t even identify blatantly offensive rhetoric that is undermining to Black women as a whole, we are doomed as a mentally enslaved people.

Scottie Lowe

Sex Sells

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Life Imitates Art

Sex is not that big of a deal for Norma. She never really understood why everyone gets so excited about it; in fact, she doesn’t even really like it. She has to rethink her position, she has to re-evaluate and re-examine her entire life, however, when she meets up with a woman who turns her world upside down, re-ignites her passions, and makes her want to live life in an entirely different way. Check out this sexy excerpt from the story Life Imitates Art from book In Loving Color and pick up your copy TODAY!

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Final Curtain Call

When the artistic director of the Sankofa Dance Company, Isisara Imhotep, finds her spiritual, emotional, intellectual, and social equal, she struggles with the fact that he doesn’t quite come in the package she’d always hoped for. Jacques is certainly tall, dark, and handsome . . .but he’s white. She is challenged with the implications of dating interracially as he quells her fears with his insight, tolerance, and determination to sweep her off her feet to be all the man she’s ever wanted.

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