The Proposition of a Lifetime

The beauty of the D/s world is that it pushes both Domme and sub to explore their limits, to see just how far they could go. Because I’m a Domme and quite comfortable with myself and my identity as such, it’s easy for me to embrace new opportunities, to see how I might be able to taste new experiences and challenge myself to go further because I know my core, I know the center to which I will return if things don’t work out, is solid.

You don’t have that luxury. Your identity as a sub is still unstable; you are still uncomfortable in your own submissive skin. You are not comfortable with the concept that a real man is strong and dominant and that if you willingly and consciously choose to be submissive, you are not deserving of the honor of being called a man. You are not what you’ve been socialized to be; and giving up that concept can be pretty scary when faced with the reality. You aren’t a man. You aren’t assertive, aggressive, or domineering, you don’t have it in you. You pretend to be in control, you play the role, but inside, you know the truth. You come with the equipment of a man yet you do not possess the inherent strength and character to be a real man. You aren’t a woman for a woman is to be revered and honored. A real woman is holy and sacred and beautiful. You are “other”. You are a lowly submissive swine. You are something to be despised, used, mistreated, and abused. You are something whose very existence is an anomaly. You are ashamed of your penis, it’s small size, and of its inability to simultaneously deliver pain and pleasure the way a real man can.

If you were to belong to me, to be my possession and my pet, imagine the possibilities. Imagine if I were to control your desires, your cravings, to transform you into the depraved, perverted, filthy, vile thing of your dreams, to allow you the opportunity to express and live your most warped fantasies. What would your life be like if I owned you like an object, if I had control of your soul? What if you knew you had the honor of belonging to me in a way that no one else could? Imagine being loved by me and despised by me at the same time. Imagine for a brief moment that your entire world revolves around your worship of me and my ability to release you from the confines of being a man and becoming a dirty, insatiable, whore whose only limits are defined by me.

If you were to sign your life over to me, to relinquish your rights as a human being and become my possession, your life would be forever altered. Let’s not pretend here that we are talking about slavery for this would be completely voluntary on your part. You could continue to go through your daily activities, appearing normal to your co-workers and the hoards of nameless strangers you encounter, but your soul would belong to me. Your every waking thought would be filled with images of me, of how I know your kinkiest fantasies and desires and my willingness and ability to make those dreams reality. Our synergy, our balance comes from my desire to see you debased and humiliated in ways that would make most people’s stomachs turn, that would shock and horrify even the most dark and disturbed minds. You long to have no limits, you long to be transformed into a sub-human sexual, feral animal and you know that I can take you there.

Your very body, mind and soul would belong to me. I would take possession of your nipples, torturing and twisting them until you screamed out in pain. The searing ache of having your tits pierced and weighted for my amusement would register in your brain as pleasure. In our world, pain would become your bliss, your state of euphoria. I would deliver crushing blows to your useless nuts, that I would derive enjoyment from seeing you doubled over, on the verge of consciousness, your pain connecting us as lovers, however non-traditionally defined that may be. It would all be worth it I’m sure. You would endure tremendous pain to be able to feel my warm breath whispering in your ear, telling you that you were a good boy, that you made me proud. Your reward would be my soft hand, wrapped around your throat, choking you, my spit dripping from your face, depriving you of air and toying with your life. What a strange sensation that would be, to have your cock throbbing and hard while you feel yourself passing out, while your mind struggles to stay alive but you surrender your will to me, knowing that I will not let you die. Your fight or flight reflex completely abated in deference to the ecstasy you derive from knowing that your life is literally in my hands. Will you beg and plead for more while I reign down blow after stinging blow on your ass with my whip, making your flesh searing hot from the pain? What sort of thing experiences delight from having their faced slapped, feels arousal when their mouth filled with my slimy green snot and phlegm, gets hard from eating their own puke after being forcefully face fucked and gagged? Certainly not a human being, and certainly not a man.

Your pussy would be in a constant state of arousal under my control and direction. Giving up the pretense of being a man would allow you to accept that your cunt is insatiable and slutty, the center of your sexual being, your source for stimulation. Kept in constant chastity, the only time you would be allowed to orgasm would be through stimulation of your prostate. How many months do you think it would take for you to be able to accomplish that, your nuts swollen, tender, and sore, desperate for release. I’d have to completely re-wire your brain until your asshole got swollen and wet like a real pussy when you were aroused, until you lived to feel your hole stuffed with the hard, pounding cocks of real men. You’d have no choice but to give up the pretense of only wanting dildos and strapons in your fuck hole. Released and free to be who you are meant to be, you’d have to acknowledge that your cravings for real, hot, hard, thick, long dicks pounding you is real and undeniable. Being a cum whore is your natural state of being and it would be up to me to protect you as my pet and possession from harm or disease. It would be at my discretion to provide you with your source of men who will satiate your thirst for cum in your mouth and pussy. Needing to please me, however, knowing I derive pleasure from seeing you used and fucked like a cheap slut, you would never get enough. The minute one filthy dick would be pulled from your gaping, used hole, you would be screaming for another to replace it, knowing that seeing you get fucked makes my real pussy wet and swollen with arousal.

To earn the honor of being allowed to pleasure my body must be an intimidating and scary thought. I have to think that you would count the days until I get my period, knowing that your mouth will be my pad, your tongue my tampon, tasting my blood, treasuring it, licking the soft, wet folds of my pussy and longing for the sweet release of my cum in the process. Oh the torture of having your mouth so near my divine center, tasting my hot, salty piss, never knowing if I’m going to gift you with the opportunity to have my pussy lowered to your face, smothering you, suffocating you with the sweetness of my pussy, feeling the full weight of my body on your face, smelling the musky scent of my ass. On those special and rare occasions when I am pleasured by a real man, to know that you will be able to service me by licking my pussy and asshole clean, to feel my explosive cum flavored farts, tinged with flecks of feces, after my body has been satisfied and pleasured will surely be a privilege. Tasting the mixture of cum and sweat from REAL love making, knowing that you will never again in life, as long as you belong to me, feel the sensation of penetrating a woman again. Feeling my hardened black nipples in your mouth as you suckle them while you call me Mommy and know that I am your primary care giver and owner must be a delight incomprehensible to your feeble mind.

Belonging to me, being my possession, praying at the altar of my asshole would mean that my shit would become your sacrament, your holy communion. You long to feel that connection, that intimacy, that gift of servitude and submission, the ultimate act of degradation. Only you don’t see it as humiliating, do you? You see it as your gift to me, our connection and bond cemented by the fact that you CRAVE my shit in your mouth, in your body, as symbolic of your life being mine. You are shit. You are nothing more than a worthless, pathetic piece of shit and having my shit in you makes you somehow more worthy, more validated. Your arousal is perversely tied to my shit. On your hands and knees, getting savagely fucked by my strapon, with your head in the toilet filled with my foul-smelling turds, you can only breathe in their toxic fumes and feel pangs of jealousy and envy that you were not allowed to be my toilet, crying out in pleasure as you feel me pound your asshole and you can see the contents of my bowels mere inches from your face, intoxicated by the stench, salivating and distraught at the sight of my brown gifts being flushed away.

Know, dear one, that if you did belong to me, I would treat you as my perverted little plaything with great pleasure. Your little clit would get hard every time I told you that I was going to prepare you to get fucked, bending you over and filling you colon with water, only to have you go outside and evacuate your intestines in the backyard like some sort of animal. Sliding that nozzle in, filling you with water, caressing your balls gently while I tell you what a nasty piece of trash you are, making you moan in pleasure as I allow the water to fill you to capacity, the cramps blinding you with pain and discomfort, the pleasure unspeakable as you release the disgusting contents of your rectum, shit splattering all down your legs, your face in my hands as I tell you how wet it makes my pussy to see you do something so foul and degrading for me.

Transformed, your entire being would be meant to ensure that I was as pampered, catered to, and indulged with any and every nicety life has to offer. Truly living to serve me, laying at my feet, fulfilling my every whim, wish, and desire. Every chore, every errand and task, you would complete with joy, knowing it might make me happy, that it might bring a smile to my face. Your role as the breadwinner and primary provider for our little “family” would be to give all of your earnings and savings over to me. I would make the financial decisions, choosing which investments would be most fruitful and provide me with the most benefit. Your allowance would be minimal at best, allowing you to exist but certainly not experience luxuries. Your wallet is tied to your manhood, and being less than a man, you would gladly hand over your credit, your cash flow, and your potential earnings so that I might be your queen. You will pay me to own you, to allow you to be the nasty, putrid, degenerate you long to be, that lurks under the surface of your mediocre existence now, desperate to be set free.

For me, my ultimate arousal will be in seeing your uncontrollable tears as I threaten to release you from my control, to send you back out into the world, un-collared and un-owned, to fend for yourself. Your tortured pleas, desperate and pathetic, begging me to keep you, use you, degrade and humiliate you in ways beyond anything you’ve already endured will be sweet music to my ears. I might just tease you with empty threats to see how far you would go for me or I might make good on my word and dispose of you like used toilet paper. I get aroused at the idea of seeing another submissive brought in, paraded in front of you, your replacement, so that you can suffer the insecurity and low self-esteem of knowing that another will be gifted with the opportunity to perform for me. My twisted and perverse pleasure comes from knowing that I could make you so depressed, so despondent at the thought of being cast aside, that you would be reduced to a whimpering, whining, shell of a human being. Knowing that I have that much control over another person makes my fucking pussy unbelievably wet.

In public, you would be my companion and friend, behind closed doors, you would assume your true role as my servant, slut, and plaything. You don’t think you are deserving of belonging to me. You are afraid that you will have to completely redefine yourself and your worldview if you were to belong to me. It terrifies you more to think of what might be than to remain alone and unfulfilled, masturbating to fantasies that could become a reality if you were to only let yourself experience letting go of the pretense of being a real man.

Copyright 2009 AfroerotiK

What am I to do?

It’s Spring. The weather is getting warmer, everything is coming back to life, the flowers are in bloom, it’s time for planting and new beginnings. It’s time to form new relationships. It’s time for romance and passion and sensuality; it’s time for eroticism and love. I want all of those things. I want flirt and kiss and . . . I want to have sex. I want to have more than sex, I want mind-blowing, brain-numbing, hot, sweaty, intense love-making. I want to have sex for so long I’m dehydrated and exhausted. I want to fuck the sheets off the bed and annoy the neighbors. I want someone to share my bed with, someone I will go out to dinner with and leave early because we can’t wait to rip each other’s clothes off.

I want all of those things and sadly, they are all elusive. I can’t find a partner. I can’t find someone to even be my lover for a few months, someone whom I can trust and let down my guard with enough to be to satisfy my very carnal and very real desires. I need chemistry and attraction. I need someone who takes my breath away and who stimulates my mind. I want someone who wants me, all of me, not just my body but someone who can see me as more than a booty call. I don’t even mind a summer fling with some dark and mysterious stranger who has to leave for Sudan in September to fulfill his Doctors without Borders responsibilities. I want is man who isn’t terrified of me saying I love you and who understands the concept of intimacy and monogamy. I crave a man who knows how to seduce me, mmmmmm, and who knows how to whisper in my ear and get me wet. WHY, dear lord, is it so difficult for me to find connection?

I am in awe and wonder at the people who can go out and find a partner in no time at all. I know people who are the most dysfunctional, the most oblivious individuals possible who can get a new boy/girlfriend every year. I haven’t been in a relationship since Bush, Sr. was in office. Sad but true. I don’t know what to do. I want to have sex. I deserve that. I have to wonder what act of God would it take for me to find a lover. I’m trying not to be melancholy about it but the thought of spending the spring alone, celibate, is making me depressed.

Contemplating going Pro

I’ve been in the lifestyle for many years. I’ve spent a great deal of time perfecting my craft, honing my skills, defining my brand of domination and becoming really comfortable with it. I retired, mainly because of boredom, mainly because I was looking for a vanilla relationship with a brotha that doesn’t seem to exist. I’m out of retirement, not because I was bored with the vanilla lifestyle, only because I haven’t found the partner of my dreams. I’ve never taken money for my domination because I have never wanted a white man to feel as if he’s purchasing me, that I have to conform to his fantasies.

The opportunity to join a dungeon and become a pro has presented itself and I’m really unsure of how to proceed. On one hand, I think becoming a pro will eliminate a lot of needless communication. I have no interest in cyber domination; I have absolutely no interest in prolonged emails and excessive chatting. If I’m a Pro, I advertise on pro sites, describe my brand of domination, if a sub wants to pluck down the money for my services, then he does. If he doesn’t, he moves on.

I’m not sure about the legality of my particular brand of domination. I’m going to have to do some research. I know that the bisexual servitude that I require would be considered illegal. I would have to imagine that my particular brand of strapon domination would be considered illegal as well. I’m not at all interested in breaking the law, especially to satisfy the desires of some white dude, but I’m also aware that just spanking some dude, no matter how painfully, is not who I am as a Domme. I’m really not going to pay to give showers. I can see it now, the second my book comes out, the line of white men lining up to say that they paid me to shit on them would be lined up around the FOX News studios, whether I had or not.

I know it also exposes me to the psycho stalkers who are obsessed with me. The dungeon will have security and a screening process but I don’t think that will stop the twisted fucks who think they are in love with me because of some story they read, or they commissioned me to write for them, from having access to me. That creeps me out. On the other hand, I don’t think it’s anything wrong with profiting from my skill set. I am an exceptional Domme. I’m not a woman pretending to be dominant to make money. I’m not a woman who is trying to feel empowered to compensate for some childhood issues or who is taking out her frustrations on men. I know I have a large following because of my writing and that has value. It’s something that I will have to give great consideration.

Interracial Domination Broken Down in Black and White

It seems that all my work, all my efforts, all my time and energy trying to educate and enlighten white people is nothing but a waste of time. All the time that I take to construct stories where people of color are shown as multi-dimensional, complex, well-rounded HUMAN BEINGS is futile if all white people get is that I’m promoting some sort of Black sexual superiority. Time and time again, white people write me and compare my work to the most outrageous, degrading, stereotypical, offensive interracial websites imaginable and, not surprisingly, get offended and arrogant when I point that fact out. I do NOT use the N word in any of my stories. I do not think it’s flattering, a compliment, or the meaning of the word has changed. I will not tolerate any white person (or Black person for that matter) using the word with me or suggesting that they know better than I what the real meaning of the word is. Black people in my stories are masterful in every sense of the word but not merely because they have Black skin but because they are intellectually, mentally, spiritually, psychologically, culturally, and emotionally more evolved. I’ve never implied that ALL Black people possess such characteristics (oh, but I long for the day we do) only the characters in my stories.

I don’t even write about the concept of Black supremacy, intellectually or erotically. I believe that Africans were, prior to our enslavement, UNQUESTIONABLY, ethically and morally, more evolved than white people. It’s a point that can’t even be argued. Any race of people that would slaughter, kidnap, brand, torture, and enslave another race of people simple because of their skin tone is clearly morally bankrupt. As to the lame arguments that Africans enslaved other Africans, and it was Africans who sold their brothers into slavery, those distortions and lies are the fairy tales of white people who refuse to accept responsibility, accountability, or blame for the actions of their warped ancestors.

Slavery in African wasn’t race based. It was also not inhumane. If and when Africans engaged in war with another community, the resulting slavery was not that of chattle slavery where individuals lost their rights as human beings. They could retain their names, their families would stay in tact, they could marry and practice their own religions, they were not treated as objects. Clearly they were not ridiculed for their hair, facial features, or bodies because they possessed the exact same physical characteristics of their captors. Africans who had engaged in the trade of human beings with Europeans could have no earthly idea that they were participating in the dehumanization of their brothers and sisters. White people perpetuate that falsehood because they want to appear innocent in their transgressions. It would be akin to a recruiter today getting commission to recruit people to work overseas during this bad economy only to find out that they were essentially selling people into unspeakable conditions. Once Africans on the continent learned of the hellish, nightmarish, disgusting fates that befell their sisters and brothers, they rebelled, and were often captured and enslaved themselves. I’ve said time and time again however that our greatness as a people and race has been diminished and stifled by slavery and that if we are ever to return to our greatness as a people, that it will take nothing short of a miracle to erase the centuries of brainwashing that we have endured. Even then, if and when we assume our true role in the universe, our skills, talents, and abilities should be celebrated as different, not superior.

I have never written about the concept of “getting back” at white people for slavery. It can’t be done. To enslave white people and inflict similar punishment on them is probably the most vile and horrific concept I’ve ever heard of. To assume the role of our oppressor is not to exact revenge for the millions of men, women, and children whose lives were destroyed by slavery, racism, discrimination, oppression, and bigotry. We can not claim superiority and then act as lowly, evil, and immoral as white people. There is no tit for tat, not quid pro quo, no act or acts that can be done to restore the world to the way it was supposed to be had Africans not been enslaved. I DO however write about white people experiencing what it is to be a slave. White people want to sanitize the experience, to make slavery into some Dixieland/Mark Twain fantasy where “it wasn’t so bad” for slaves and I allow them with my work to see exactly what Africans who were enslaved felt. I work diligently to dismantle the delusion that white people have that their sexual servitude is in any way akin to that of the slavery that my ancestors endured that was far from a sexual fetish. That’s VASTLY different than saying that I’m getting back at white people for slavery. Again, it can’t be done.

It seems I have to spell out the lessons to be learned by white people in each of my interracial domination stories.

1. Black Beat: Tracy was a Black woman in a relationship with a white man. They were a couple, a loving couple in fact. Rick desired extreme racial domination with more extreme and cruel punishments. Tracy wasn’t capable of it because she wasn’t secure in her own sense of self as a Black woman. She’d been conditioned by society to see white men as superior so she could barely do more than a light spanking or playful slaps to her partner. It wasn’t until she met Mistress Khadijah (meaning premature daughter) that she became empowered enough to explore her mate’s more masochistic desires.

2. Black Maled (Or Blackmailed on some sites): Ron and Tricia were arrogant, oblivious, perverse, and they objectified Black sexuality. They only saw Black people as objects to satisfy their racist desires. They had no human consideration for Black people other than fodder for their submissive sexual fantasies. Kamal (meaning perfection) was bright, intelligent, articulate, well-read, culturally identified, and wanted nothing to do with playing the Mandingo buck. (For the real definition of Mandingo http://www.accessgambia.com/information/mandinka.html ) He used Ron and Tricia’s perverse lust for him to his advantage and was able to secure a position at work he rightfully deserved.

3. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory: It seems apparent to me that the story describes a celebration of Black women who were the victims of institutional racism from insurance companies. The policies of many companies and the people who administer those policies carry with them a great many biases and prejudices. This story was an attempt to show that the kink community could acknowledge that discrimination and contribute to the betterment of Black women while having fun at the same time.
4. Dominant Black Tales and Submissive White Tails: My most popular story and certainly the longest. This story chronicles the evolution of a white man who goes from online fantasies to real time experience and how he tries desperately to hold on to the fallacy of white supremacy every step of the way. Desiree and Derrick are more intelligent, more attractive, and more in tune with their sexuality than Bryan and Becky. The powerful couple masterfully orchestrate and manipulate the white couple. They are superior in that they are more sophisticated, more adept at psycho-sexual torture. They are clearly more than lust-driven ghetto dwellers. Their characters drive the plot; they don’t just act as fillers for white lustful fantasies.

5. Goddess Initiation: This has to be one of my favorite stories I’ve ever written. It’s a story about a secret society of Black people who are trying to restore African ceremonies, traditions, and rituals to their spiritual and cultural practices. They place the woman as Goddess and the men are not inferior, they are protectors and guides. The sole white man in this story is merely there to observe their ritual. He acts as an object in this story, a receptacle for the sperm of the 15 men (or was it 20, I forget). It doesn’t even matter. It shows how Black people can take something like a gangbang that white people would partake in as vulgar and crass and transform it into something spiritual and holy like a Goddess Initiation.

6. Hotel Bonaventure: Steven, the white character, never gets what he wants in this story. Theresa and Carl skillfully play him, making him orally satisfy Carl while not being allowed to touch or taste Theresa. Again, it seems obvious to me that Steven is not made to suck Carl’s dick because it is humiliating and degrading, but its an honor. Steven is the one driven by his lusts, his compulsions, not the Black couple.

7. Jungle Fever: I’ve written extensively already about the social issues of this story. It’s not truly a tale of domination but rather it’s the story of how white people’s racism and obliviousness drive them to act out sexually and it also details exactly how Black men can get sucked up in the hysteria of believing that white women are better and that they are sexual studs simply because of the color of their skin.


8. Neighborly Hospitality: It’s not really a story of domination but it explores the cuckold fetish. Syreeta and Dixon were two highly successful, sexually aware individuals who happened to be Black and who happened to move in next door to a sexually dysfunctional couple, Lisa and Brad. Because Lisa and Brad didn’t talk about their fantasies with each other, because they weren’t open and honest with each other about their sexual issues, it was easy for Dixon and Syreeta to use those things to their advantage. The typical cuckold story doesn’t include a Black woman. This story is woven around the Black woman and her approval and orchestration of the events. The typical cuckold story doesn’t show the lives and backgrounds of the Black man, this story shows Dixon to be an epicure, a jazz lover, a cultural powerhouse, and a LOVING partner to his mate.

9. Plantation Lullabies. This was originally supposed to be a 1250 word story written for a client. It ended up almost 7000 words and what I consider to be one of the most powerful pieces I’ve ever written. The words poured through me and I was awed by how they were being transcribed at my fingertips. It is about replicating the true slave experience, just as the fake website indicates. It’s not about getting back at whitey for slavery. It’s not about proclaiming Black supremacy. Just as the concentration camps at Auschwitz today allow people to see what it was to be a Jew in Nazi Germany, the fictitious plantation on Dewees Island in South Carolina (http://www.deweesisland.com/ )was created to allow white people to see and experience what it was like to be an African who was enslaved. It is a living museum; it is a classroom like none other. At no point does Mistress Emmanuel ever say she is getting back at white people for slavery. She is breaking white men of the notion that slavery is something voluntary, she is divesting them of the false and offensive concept that sexual slavery is in any way comparable to what real slaves had to endure.

10. The Making of a White Sissy Slut: If there was ever a story written to illustrate how a Black woman can use and discard a white man like a piece of trash, this is it. White people assume that because I write stories to show Black people in a positive light, that automatically assumes that I have some responsibility to show white people in a positive light as well. My job is to hold white people up to the mirror of racism and make them see their ugly reflections. My job is to show white people that Black people are more than just one-dimensional savages. If this story were written about two white people, the Female Dominatrix would be considered the quintessential Domme. Black women are allowed to be sexually dominant without that being ALL they are allowed to be. We can enjoy our power as women, as Black women, and enjoy D/s kink as much as any other woman without that being our sole identity. We can be masterful and sadistic in the bedroom and be vulnerable, sensitive, empathetic, compassionate, and very humanly flawed outside the bedroom.

11. Black Daddy Domination: I’m not even sure it’s worth identify the glaring social issues of this story because white people aren’t going to get it even if I do. All they will read is the white man worshipping the superior black cock.

I don’t see the reason for even writing interracial domination stories anymore if white people can’t grasp the social commentary that seems blatantly and painfully obvious.

Copyright 2009 AfroerotiK

Anal Ramblings

I am to be counted among the women that love anal sex. I remember when I was a teen and I found my mom's collection of porn, I was fascinated with the pictures of anal sex. I don't know if that influenced my desire or was a premonition of my proclivities. When I got to college I was preoccupied with trying to make sense of my bisexuality so anal sex got put on the back burner for a while. When the urge hit me, it hit strong. I thought about it all the time and didn't really know what to do about it. I would try to wiggle and moan more when my boyfriend's fingers got close to that area but I never asked him to do anything. I don't even think I was bright enough to finger myself there at the time.

I asked my boyfriend at the time to try it. He wasn't interested; he kept saying, "that's gay, I don't want to try it." (It was the 80s, anal sex wasn’t popular back then) The very first time we tried it, I was on top and in control of everything. I went slowly, I think the curiosity kept me going more than anything. I was fascinated with wanting to feel it. It was uncomfortable, not painful. The discomfort didn't last long and it soon became a sensation like I'd never felt before. The only way I can describe it was it was like not being able to take a deep breath. It was pleasure in every pore of my body. The very first time I did it, it felt orgasmic. I didn't cum, I didn't even know how to cum at that point in my life. I got scared and stopped and my poor boyfriend at the time thought he had hurt me. We didn't do it for more than a year after that because he said he didn't like it but I wanted to feel it again. I started masturbating by myself at the time with something I'm sure was unsafe. If I remember correctly, it was some sort of arts and crafts glue stick.

After about a year, my boyfriend and I tried it again. I loved it even more. We would save it for special occasions and he took his time every time so by the time we got to it, I was like a crazy woman. When we broke up, he made me promise and swear that I wouldn't do it with anyone else ever again in life and I kept that promise for many, many years. Many years later, during what was the beginning of my life of sporadic celibacy, I would masturbate every day and stimulate myself anally. I couldn't cum without it. For a year I think I did it once a day. Then I went into my phase of not masturbating at all. Went through that for almost three years. Now, on the rare occasion that I have sex, I try to get my partner to finger or lick me there, but its so rare that I am with someone at all, and even then it's not someone that I can let down my guard with.

Few years back, if I wanted to masturbate, I would have fantasies about anal sex. I wouldn't penetrate or stimulate myself there, just think about it. I would watch anal sex porn almost exclusively. Now, I rarely masturbate at all, three or four times a year. I think about what it would be like but the sensation is so distant in my memory that it doesn't motivate me at all anymore. I love to fantasize about what it would be like when I find my twin flame and experiencing it with him, but the fantasy is more about seducing him, teasing him with the idea of it, making him crave my ass, more than about anal sex in particular.

I have used a strapon on men and I love it. It's not about power; it's about giving pleasure. There is something intensely erotic and intimate about seeing a lover in the throes of ecstasy. Hearing him moan and beg for more . . . that is SUCH a turn on for me. I'm not into giving pain so if there is even any indication of discomfort on his part, my hypothetical dick goes down. For me, it's about him sharing a part of himself with me that is secret and private. It's our little secret. When I'm hitting that Gspot and he's working his ass on my "dick", it's like no other sensation in the world. It's not about domination for me.

Sometimes, I occasionally fantasize about making love to my partner in the same way that he would make love to me, slow and tender and gentle, as an act of us showing our love for one another. Ever since I first tried it almost 18 years ago, I have never thought anal sex had anything to do with being gay. The physical anatomy of a man and a woman is the same anally; if a woman is able to enjoy it then a man has the same thing. In fact, a man has a prostate gland, which makes it more enjoyable for him than a woman. (I suspect that I have something similar to a prostate however because I even like to have my pussy fingered towards the back, not the front where my g spot is supposed to be) Sexual preference is sexual preference, either you are attracted to men or you aren't. If you are attracted to women, then a woman should be able to help you experience that level of intimacy and pleasure.

Two interesting notes. One, I can't tell you how many brothas have expressed to me that they want to be penetrated by their wives but they are afraid to ask. Women, talk to your men because their desire to experience it and their fear of talking about it might drive them to engage in unsafe sex in shame and desperation. These aren't feminine men, submissive men, or confused men. I get brothas every day tell me that they would like me to write a strapon fantasy but and that they can’t find a sista to do it to them. When I ask them how many sistas they have asked, they usually say. none

Two, I suspect that the need to experience the sensation of anal penetration has a lot to do with opening up channels for kundalini to flow up the chakras. I'm completely convinced that those dastardly Europeans were made aware of the spiritual potential anal sex held and made it a sin so that the masses would not be able to tap into it's power. I'm not at all suggesting that everyone that has anal sex is more spiritually aware. Sex has become so crass and base that it's spiritual elements have been dormant for centuries.

Psychotic

I'm going to copy and paste it EXACTLY the way it was sent to me. Nothing changed, edited, or deleted.

servilebych on 4/8/09 at 9:51 PM:


Good Evening,

Thank You for the time it took to read my humble message. i am an inferior white man and i acknowledge my weakness and the unfair and unrealistic "advantages" society has thrust upon my inferior person. i want to make up for them and learn my true place in life. i feel the only way to do this is to offer myself to be humbled and degraded by a Goddess like Yourself who understands my true place which is at the foot of African Gods and Goddesses. Is there anyway You might allow this inferior creature to worship You and serve You as Your slave?

humbly,

tom

servilebych on 4/8/09 at 10:32 PM:

Im reading Your wonderful blog and learning a great deal. Thank You.


servilebych on 4/10/09 at 2:16 PM:

After reading your blog and other information about you Ive come to the conclusion that you are the white men you write about. It is you that has these fantasies. You also seem to blame just about everything on slavery. You say the President is not liberal enough for you. Would you prefer to transfer all the wealth from whites to blacks? Maybe even live in a communist society? If Blacks are as superior as you say they are they shouldnt want nor should they need the help of the Federal Government. Most of the peopple you say have an unfair advantage got there either because of their own hard work or from the hard work of their ancestors. Many people who currently live in the US came here AFTER slavery ended. If you know anything about American history you realize that there was a huge wave of immigration after the Civil War. You would also realize that only 1/3 of the people in the Antebellum South actually owned slaves. Maybe this is why it is so hard to find Americans whose ancestors owned slaves. If you are angry because other races and or ethnicities complain of mistreatment or prejudice you should study world history. The Jews in Russia were not only oppressed but they were killed on a large scale in pogroms. Of course you are also familiar with the Holocaust, maybe the Irish famine? Your people are not the only ones who have suffered. You seem to be the only ones who whine continually about it. Maybe you should read Thomas Sowell or Walter Williams, 2 African American authors/economists who refuse use excuses. Perhaps you should talk to all the African American males who abandon their wives and kids. Im sure you would find a way to blame that on slavery too. The point is that after awhile, you have to start taking responsibility for your own actions.

Whose ancestors DID own slaves?

In every conversation I've ever had about race in my life, and that's been quite a few given my political and social leanings, I've yet to meet ONE white person that has said to me, "Yes, my ancestors owned and profited from slaves." I’m beginning to think that white people only know how to say, “MY family didn’t own slaves.” Well . . . I’ll be god damned, somebody’s family had to own slaves. Where are those descendents?

If I use the barometer of white people’s assertions, slavery didn't exist at all and it played no role in making the US the richest nation in the world. Apparently, the youngest and most violent nation is the richest because it's inhabited by intellectually superior white men not because they stole the land, its resources, and enslaved free labor.

Then there’s the ever popular, "My ancestors were (fill in the blank with some obscure ethnicity), they were immigrants that arrived after slavery, and they were discriminated against too." Which is in essence saying, “My ancestors endured the exact same thing as slaves and they were able to make it.” Which again is saying, “Blacks are just inherently lazy because if my ancestors were able to not speak the language, open a store, become successful, anyone can.” Let’s not take into account that Black people were denied the right to read and write for generations, that they were treated as sub human for 100s of years, that they were beaten, raped, bought sold, tortured, and brutalized for generation after generation. That has NOTHING whatsoever to do with our current standing, that’s just an unfortunate and uncomfortable fact that needs to be dismissed so that white people don’t have to think about the fact that the playing field isn’t really level as long as they don’t share the same history.

Apparently, slavery has no long term effects whatsoever. “Color doesn’t matter, slavery was in the past, let it go.” What conversation about slavery would be complete without white people saying, “Jews suffered during the Holocaust and look at how well they are doing today.” Sure, Jews were imprisoned for 7 years, not enslaved for generations so of course the effects would be vastly different. I'm not interested in comparative "Oppression Olympics" or proving that anyone suffered more or less than anyone else. I would like someone to stand up and say, my family had money passed down generationally that was the direct result of owning slaves.

I wonder what happened to the descendents of slave owners because they certainly don't exist anymore. They must have all evaporated into thin air at the end of the civil war. I would love to have someone say to me, my family didn't own slaves, but they did benefit by using the cheap labor of Blacks during the depression. Or my family was known to traffic in the illegal slave trade after slavery was abolished or some other such shocking revelation. Fuck that. Where are the white people who can say, “Hell, I benefited from slavery because my family didn’t have it as bad as Black families did, pure and simple.” It’s incomprehensible to almost every white person under the sun that NOT being the victim of racism, bigotry, oppression, lynching, and discrimination is a benefit. I had one white man write a three page letter telling me that the poverty stricken white people of the Appalachian Mountain region were the ONLY descendants of slave owners alive because slave owners were stupid and poor and they didn't survive after the Civil War. He seriously believed that.

Fuck that, how about a white person just admitting to me that they have no clue as to the extent of what the psychological damage to enslaved Black people was nor do they understand what its ramifications are today.

Big and Beautiful

Hold Me Close

Midnight Tango

It was not a night to sleep; it was a night for sweltering passions. The humidity hung thick in the air and the temperature was as unforgiving as the Sub-Saharan sun at midday. A sexy sheen of perspiration bathed your body as I lay silently watching you. The white cotton sheet wrapped sensuously around your legs, a tangled mass, was evidence of our previous intense, sweaty lovemaking.

“Dance with me,” I whispered as I saw your body stir. Come; let’s use the moon as our spotlight and the rhythm of the night as our music. I pulled your sleepy frame from the bed and put my arms around you. You laughed at my silly suggestion but the intensity of our naked bodies moving together, the electricity between us as we held each other close, inspired a dance of erotic expression.

We fit together perfectly, our bodies like pieces in a sensual puzzle. The drumbeat pulsed like the blood coursing through our veins. The Afro-Cuban rhythms heard only in our heads were genetically encoded in our DNA. We moved together like two well-choreographed dancers; our dance was of romance, intimacy and erotic expression.

Our skin stuck together and our bodies moved together in unison. Your hands slid down the small of my back. My lips tasted the salty sweet nape of your neck. We danced. We danced the dance of mythical lovers until our heat could be contained no more. I melted into you and you melted into me . . . doing the Midnight Tango.

Copyright 2004 AfroerotiK

White Male Submission

One can’t pick up a magazine or listen to a discussion about the black community these days without reading about “DL brothas”, or black men that have sex with other men while representing themselves as heterosexual. There is a homoparanoia and fear that is largely media driven that is telling black women that they need to question every black man they meet because he might be having sex with other men. Certainly, one has to believe that black men must be driven by their desires more than any other portion of the population because this “DL” trend is so rampant among black men, according to every single, solitary book, article, and discussion prevalent today.

I have the unique opportunity to be in a position where people come to me and tell me their fantasies as a function of my career. There is a HUGE and very stealth underground sexual movement that is growing that has escaped any mainstream examination whatsoever. While black men’s sexual practices have been put under a microscope and they have been demonized in the media as sexually irresponsible and morally bankrupt latent “faggots,” white men have been able to slip under the radar, with stealth efficacy, with their sexual secrets. The numbers of white men that come to me and tell me that they have fantasies of being sexually submissive, not only to black women, but also to black men, is STAGGERING. Literally, thousands of white men have approached me in the last several years, all reiterating very much the same themes in their desires, that they believe that white people are inferior, that they want to pay for the atrocities of slavery by their sexual servitude to black people, that black people are more beautiful.

There are common themes and consistencies in their fantasies and the types of white male submissive men can be grouped into three main categories: white men that want white female partners to engage in interracial sex, white men that want black female partners and white men that want domination by both black men and black women. The first group of men, the men that want their white wives or girlfriends to engage in interracial sex, are known as cuckolds. Cuckolds are men that get arousal from having a white wife, commonly referred to as a “slut wife,” that has multiple black lovers. The husband is forced to live a life of sexual denial and servitude while the wife has sex with these so called “superior black bulls.” Servitude can include anything from getting the wife ready for her lover to cleaning her orally after her lover has ejaculated inside her, to orally or anally servicing the black lover himself. Many times, the sexual component is heightened if there is some level of implied “extortion” or money demanded of the white submissive male to perform theses homoerotic acts. I’ve had innumerous white men tell me that they want their wives to be “black bred”, meaning impregnated by a black man and they are sexually aroused by the idea of their wives forcing them to raise a biracial child as their own. There’s little doubt that the origins of these fantasies are steeped in the mythical “Big Black Mandingo” stereotype as they profess love for his abnormally large penis while begging to be taunted and humiliated for their comparatively small endowment. Sexual submission is usually limited to the bedroom for these men because they seem to be able to compartmentalize the fact that they are only inferior because of their perceived, small penis and, on occasion, express angst that they have fantasies of seeing the black man as superior, even if it is only in a sexual situation.

The second category of white male submissive is the men that hold black women in the highest esteem. These men love and desire the black woman far more than white woman and very often admire the natural features of black women that have long been rejected by society at large. Big butts, dark skin, full lips, natural hair, and sassy and domineering attitudes are the attributes that they most readily describe as the epitome of beauty, black or otherwise. The number of occasions when white men have said they want a black wife to pamper and provide for, to put her on a pedestal as the true mother of all civilization, are too numerous to mention. Many times, they reiterate the same sorts of fantasies of the cuckold husband: they want her to have a black lover, but more often than not, they describe feelings of inadequacy because they believe they are unable to satisfy or undeserving of having sex with a black woman. They describe fantasies whereby they are forced by a black woman to engage homosexual acts as an act of punishment or for her amusement. They reiterate they same sorts of fantasies about cleaning Black woman of ejaculate deposited by her lover, being denied orgasm, being “forced” to humble themselves before the black man to show their unworthiness and inferior status. The instances of white men telling me that they want to serve as human toilet to black women are so commonplace, so frequent, I don’t blink an eye any longer when the topic is broached. These men describe how it would be an honor to receive the waste of a black woman and how it is their duty as a white male to do so. Many desire to be subjected to perform household duties for black women, seemingly with no sexual gratification in return, only the desire to be humiliated for their whiteness. Most desire to form lifelong, loving relationships with Black women as adoring pets or servants and most refer to themselves as slaves.

The third category of white male submissive is interested whatever forms of degradation they can receive from whatever Black source that sees fit to dish it out. They are unashamedly bisexual and, in many cases, prefer to perform sexual acts with black men. Among this group are the most masochistic of the population. They are constantly asking for approval and validation that they truly are inferior to black people. They confess that they want to become slaves, stripped of their rights as a human, that they want to pay for the sins of any white person that owned slaves, and that they want to be degraded and humiliated for their whiteness. Their fantasies are extreme, many expressing desires to be lynched and beaten reminiscent of true slavery as part of their sexual fantasies. Many tell me that they desire to become black and have romantic notions that they will become well-endowed athletes or big-bosomed matriarchal archetypes. Several have requested books to read to tell them of a more accurate Black history than the limited exposure they’ve received. I’ve had white men tell me that they go out of their way to hire black people, support black businesses, or provide daily acts of kindness to black people as their own personal form of reparations.

These examples are the norm not the extreme and I’m confronted with these examples on a daily basis. It should be noted that almost 100% of the time, white men use the singular adjective black to describe the collective of people rather than as a descriptor. i.e. “I want my wife to fuck black, I am attracted to black, I am a slave for black” rather than the proper usage, “I am attracted to black women, I want my wife to fuck black men, I desire to be submissive to black people.” Their grammatical objectification of us is but a minor indication that they have yet to shatter the racist beliefs that they claim so boldly to have done.

If there is any level of validity in my findings, my observations lead me to believe that there is no concurrent movement by black people whereby we, on any sort of collective basis, are expressing desires to make white people pay for the atrocities of slavery or to restore a Black supremist racial hierarchy and to do so by the sexual subjugation of white people. We seem to be naively playing into the role of dominatrix and Black bull and walking away from the experience and not being particularly braggadocios about them either. Those few African American individuals that have confided in me of experiences with submissive white men seem to take pity on them that they are so warped in their thinking that they could actually believe that black people could be superior. In my amateur anthropological opinion, these black people feel guilty for holding a position of power over white men, even if it’s only sexually and for brief periods of time. I’ve yet to meet the black person that has engaged in a sexual liaison with a submissive white man that has truly recognized the larger political implications. Many black women have seen this as an opportunity to capitalize on their “most coveted object” status and made attempts to use white men for money, which seem to backfire more often than not according to their tales. While very few black men confide in me about their experiences with submissive white men, (and one can only assume from the reports of white men that the numbers of black men that are engaging in these behaviors are equally as staggering) I can only assume that they feel some sort of temporary reprieve from the stresses and strains of a racist society while engaged in the act, and as they go on about their daily lives, they replace their societally-imposed veil of powerlessness, never recognizing that their true power does not lie in their penis. Black people, still largely ignorant of our own past, the origins of African greatness, and still largely brainwashed to believe that white people are better, are sadly, too uninformed to assert that they will not be made pawns in a sexual game to rid white people of their guilt or fulfill their dark continent lust.

There are a multitude of larger implications that are happening beneath this absolutely HUGE movement that need to be discussed and simply can’t be unless the topic is put on the table so that society at large can examine the trend and not have it kept as white America’s dirty little secret. First and foremost, these men are still, for the most part, holding onto racist, stereotypical and degrading beliefs about Black people while they are insisting that their desire to submit to black people indicates that they are free from all such beliefs. They assume that because they are sexually attracted to Black people that automatically means they are not racist. Many white men claim they used to harbor racist beliefs and some sexual event with a black person cured them of their racism, which is obviously an absurd assumption. If these white men are in fact engaging in sexual acts with black men as they claim, then the source and spread of HIV in the Black community needs to be examined. These white men should be spreading the virus to their partners in equal proportions to black men.

I imagine that there are scores of therapists, counselors, sex workers, medical practitioners and journalists in this country that have the same knowledge as I. Why aren’t there medical journals and articles that are discussing this trend and the psychological implications? Where are the 20/20 and Dateline exposes, where are the radio talk shows that are discussing this phenomenon, why isn’t every magazine warning white women about the potential hazards of white men that are engaging in unsafe sex with black men? Given the current political climate in this country, with this move to the ultra-moral, ultra-conservative right, what conclusions can one draw about this population of white men that have this race-driven guilty, envy, and lust? Are there white men that are secretly harboring these sexual desires in positions of power and exacting stricter punishments on black men to assuage them of their desires to “submit to black?”

Race in America is still and extremely volatile topic. If there are, as I’ve experienced, multitudes of white men that are having these types of fantasies and desires, there needs to be an open and honest discussion in a public forum to determine the origins, the implications, and to form support groups and allegiances to address the very important issues that these types of issues bring to the table. White men are begging, even if it is only privately, to be immersed in a black sexual experience, and they are being led by individuals that don’t have the ability to train, instruct and accurately inform. This issue can not be swept under the table because it upsets the equilibrium of the status quo. White men are desiring to be submissive to Black people in phenomenal numbers and the reasons why and the social implications thereof must be discussed.

Copyright 2004 Scottie Lowe
CEO and Founder of AfroerotiK

We Must Excel, Not Just Exist

We Must Excel, Not Just Exist

We, as descendants of slaves, as people of color, MUST strive for excellence in all that we do. We must live according to principles of excellence in our daily lives, spiritually, emotionally, physically, and mentally. Living in alignment with excellence means making a conscious choice to do what’s right over what’s easy, what’s comfortable, or what’s familiar. In lieu of spending hours gossiping on the phone or endless hours on the computer in the pursuit of meaningless sex, we must examine our selves, our lives, and look to grow, mature, and evolve.

I challenge you to stop thinking of yourself as better just because you go to church every Sunday, dressed in your overpriced fineries to show off to the congregation, when you step over the homeless on Monday without so much as an ounce of compassion or love in your heart for those who need a helping hand. We must stop trying to get over on the system, trying to figure out the easy way to get something for nothing, and rather make the choice to have integrity, to do what’s right for the community, not just yourself. It’s time now to consider the ramifications and consequences of our actions and stop living for the moment or the almighty dollar. If we consider the feelings of others, if everyone considers the feelings of others, we can transform ourselves from a selfish, insensitive, immature community to a compassionate, giving, enlightened family. Find a reason to see the good in someone, to reach out to another because you connect on a deeper level, not just because you think they have something to offer you, or because you want to feel insecure and petty jealousy.

Speak truth to power. Hold your tongue when you feel the urge, the driving and compulsive need to lie, and utter only those words that are true. Embrace honesty with your entire being and reprogram your brain from your conditioning that tells you to create stories and deceptions that make you feel better about yourself and learn to be honest and truthful with yourself so that you might be able to be honest and truthful with others.

We must accept our greatness, our royalty, and our divinity with humility, grace, and modesty. Would a Queen exchange her body for a car payment or money to get a new pair of shoes? Would a King create a prince or princess only to leave them unprotected and un-nurtured? Would a true manifestation of the Divine be more concerned with a car, clothes, or plasma TV than in helping those less fortunate?

Ask yourself, are you living a life of excellence or do you merely exist? Are you striving to become a better person every day? Are you actually trying to become a better person: not richer, not more attractive, not get more stuff, not sleep with more women, not use more men, not cheat the system, not beat the man. Are you striving to dispel the myths and combat the stereotypes? Are you daily striving to learn more, to push yourself further, to excel in all you do?

Pick up a book, go back to college, take a night class, use the Internet to learn out our history instead of just wasting your life away.


Copyright 2008 AfroerotiK All Rights Reserved

Gender vs. Sexual Orientation

There seems to be quite a bit of confusion, misinformation, and general ignorance about sexual orientation and gender.

Let's get some clarification.

Your equipment identifies your GENDER

Male- you are born with a penis and testicles.

Man- you were born a male, grew into a boy, and matured to an adult.

Female- you are born with a vagina, a womb, a uterus, fallopian tubes, ovaries.

Woman- you were born a female, grew into a girl, and matured to an adult.

Intersexed- Ambiguous genitalia. You are born with genitalia that could either be a female with a large clitoris and labia that are semi closed or genitalia that closely resembles that of a male with a small penis with a scrotum that resembles a vagina. In many instances, the parents and doctors assign a gender and perform surgery at birth to "correct" the problem but many of the individuals are then left with gender confusion as they mature. Intersexed babies are born at a fairly high rate, as many as 1 out of 100 births.

Transgendered- your identity doesn't match your genitals. Your body is either male or female but your identity, the way you navigate the world, the way you feel, the gender you identify with most is opposite to the packaging. In most instances, the brain of a transgendered person is physically formed similar to that of the opposite gender as well as their chromosomal makeup more closely resemebles the gender of the sex they most identify with. Some trans men and women desire gender reorientation surgery to "correct" their gender. Some trans individuals are content to simply live as passable (with breast augmentation and/or hormone therapy, etc) and don't feel a need to have sex reassignment.

Cross dressers or transvestites- individuals who don't live 24/7 as the opposite gender, who don't want gender reassignment surgery, but who simply enjoy wearing the clothing of the opposte gender for sexual arousal.

Hermaphrodite- you are born with a penis and vagina. VERY rare.

SEXUAL ORIENTATION identifies to whom you are attracted.

Heterosexual means you are attracted to the opposite gender. There's no room for creative definitions. If you are aroused, attracted to, or participate in sex with a person of the same gender, you can not consider yourself heterosexual. Being in denial or lying doesn't make you heterosexual either.

Bisexual means you are aroused by, attracted to, or have sex with people of the same gender. There is no rule that says you have to be attracted to both genders EQUALLY to be bisexual. There are 14 types of bisexuality that covers curiosity, to emotional attraction, to physical attraction, to situational experimentation and a whole host of other levels of bisexuality.

Pansexual means you are attracted to all genders, including the transgendered and intersexed.

Asexual means you don't experience sexual arousal

Hope that clears some things up.

In Loving Color

Exactly how submissive are you?

Exactly how submissive are you?

Do you enjoy pain?

Do you enjoy humiliation?

Would it make you proud to show me how you enjoy being degraded like less than an animal?

Do you enjoy the concept of nipple torture? Do you like the feeling of excruciating pain as weights are applied to your mantits while you beg for more.

Does the thought of my tender soft hand around your throat, choking you, suffocating you, taking you to the very edge of life . . . or death, awaken your senses?

Would you like me to shove my strapon in your throat until you gag and choke? Does it arouse you to think about me forcing you to eat your own putrid, vile puke, cleaning it from my monstrous strapon as I force it down your throat, suffocating you, slapping your face while I do?

Will you be my gangbang whore; offering your mouth and your asspussy to be used and abused by men for my entertainment and pleasure? Will you spread your legs and take big dicks ramming your asshole and eagerly accept those filthy pieces of meat in your mouth to clean and suck to completion? Are you prepared to be my faggot slut who needs to get fucked and bred and pumped full of hot cum, in your mouth and in your boicunt on a daily basis?

If I give you an enema, filling you with HOT soapy water, bloating your stomach, making you cramp, plugging your fuckhole with a fat butt plug and making hold it until you are screaming in pain, will you pledge your undying devotion to me as I hold your face in my hands and call you my dirty shit boy while you shit out that smelly, pasty, hot sludge from deep inside your colon?

Will you clean my pussy and asshole after you’ve watched me get fucked and I have several loads of hot cum dripping from my well-used holes? Do you consider it a gift to be able to taste my sweet juices after I’ve been pleasured and the sperm of a real man mixes with my cum to tempt your tastebuds?

Do you crave the taste of my hot piss, filling your mouth, taking in my salty, strong urine, feeling it fill your belly until you are aching in pain and pleasure?

Perhaps your desires are darker, nastier. Perhaps you want my filthy asshole on your mouth, tasting my heavenly ass slime, shoving your tongue deep inside me to satisfy your desires to taste my nastiest offerings. Will you clean me? Will you be my toilet paper? Will you be my toilet that I use to accept my smelly waste? Will you cherish the gifts I give you from deep inside me?

Can you satisfy my desires to inflict excruciating pain? Will you offer up the flesh of your ass for me to beat and whip to my heart’s content and prove your devotion by begging and pleading for more?

If I take out my frustrations on your dick, beating it, whipping it, slapping it, kicking your nuts for good measure, will you worship me above all others?

Dogs eat from bowls, they piss and shit outside, they sleep on the floor at the foot of the bed. Will you be my doggie?

How many hours of relentless, ruthless pounding can you take from my black strapon? How many inches can you handle shoved deep inside your guts? Are you the desperate ass slut who will take all I’ve got to give and still scream for more like the slutty ass whore you really are? Will you ever tire of me bending you over and making you my bitch any time of the day or night that it pleases me?

Can you give your life to me? Will you let go of all the pretenses you have of being a man and become my toy, my plaything, my pet?

Are you depraved enough to handle all that and more?

I’ve OFFICIALLY Given Up!

It’s official; I’ve finally given up all my dreams, hopes, and aspirations of ever finding love. More than that, I’ve given up all hope of finding even companionship. I’ve resigned myself to the fact that I’m going to be alone forever. I can put to rest my dreams of finding my perfect mate. I can mourn my dreams of “happily ever after” because they are an impossible state of being for me, I’m unworthy of being loved in this lifetime.

Don’t feel sorry for me; it’s liberating. For years, I’ve been holding on the to hope that I can find someone for me, someone with whom I can share my life, who compliments me, who meets my criteria emotionally, spiritually, intellectually, socially, and sexually. Now, I can relax and not have to feel frustrated and anxious about trying to meet someone, impress them, trying to get them to like me, only to have them reject me. Now that I’ve come to accept that my life will be lived in solitude, I can just not give a fuck anymore, literally and figuratively.

Gone are the days when I jump through hoops, giving brothas the benefit of the doubt because they are emotionally stunted. Goodbye forever to those days of trying to make the best of a situation that is flawed from the start just so I can have companionship. Never again will I have to suffer through the pain of white men trying to convince me that we can have some sort of unequal and warped relationship based on their attraction to me and my repulsion of them. And thank God in Heaven I will never again have to look myself in the mirror and ask myself why aren’t I lovable.

For all the scores of people who think they can comfort me with empty clichés of, “Now that you aren’t looking, you’ll find him,” I say to you . . . KISS MY ASS. I’ve been alone for 17 years. I’ve worked on myself, I’ve looked, I’ve not looked, I’ve prayed, I’ve done everything a human being can do. I’m not meant to be in a relationship. It’s my lot in life. Accepting that has been the healthiest thing I can do. At least now, I don’t have to hold on to the pain of thinking that there is someone out there who will love me. Now I know that there isn’t and I can move on with my life. There’s not much of a life without having someone by your side, but apparently, this is my sentence for a crime I don’t even know I committed.

The Role of the Modern Day Black Psychologist

Truth is not a constant. Only a few white psychologists publicly accept the idea advance by Dr. Jenson that Black people, according to his research findings, are at birth genetically inferior to whites in intellectual potential. That sentiment, while obviously driven by racist, supremacist aggrandizement, and proven fallacious time and time again by Black intelligencia, might be the basis for investigation if examined from a purely Afrocentric perspective. If the genetics of Africans in America have been altered by the atrocities of slavery to render us more susceptible to physical maladies such as high blood pressure and diabetes, is it not fair to suggest that the genetics of things intangible, such as our emotional, psychological, and spiritual health have been altered thusly also? That is not to say that Black people are inferior, not even to suggest that. There needs to be a study of the genetic modifications of slavery to assess what that process did to our ancestors and how those behaviors are being perpetuated.

To not have a branch of African centered psychology directed towards dismantling white supremacy is irresponsible. Not only does it ignore the pathologies that could potentially create another Maafa, but it also leaves those individuals in a perpetual state of dysfunction and disharmony within the universe. The focus should not be a reactionary stance but one of assistance and guidance. The Afrocentric psychologist must stand up and teach the Eurocentric one. We must let go of the position that any interaction with the oppressor means that we are taking an inferior position. We must do what the ancient Kemetians failed to do: open up the world of spirit to the Europeans. To say that they are not capable of learning based upon some genetic precursor is to be guilty of their thinking that brands Black people inferior. Of course, helping them will not be a priority. The first thing African psychologists must do is heal the collective consciousness of African people throughout the world. Those that have been subjected to the tyrannical reign of Europeans. If African people are truly the original mothers and fathers of psychology, we must behave as such. The Afrocentric view that says that white people are independent entities that never have to be dealt with is still assuming a position of inferiority. African people must assume a position of superiority, not to oppress but to enlighten.

Our Sexuality is Fucked

There are two very separate factions of Black folk. There is the "I'm a freak" faction, who claims sexual promiscuity is their birthright. They are the sexually immature, thinking that any bump and grind, with whomever, without connection or intimacy is all good. Mind you, most people who identify themselves as freaks don't do anything more sexually adventurous than anal sex and swinging and if you were to suggest something truly sexually adventurous, they would cry "NASTY". Then there are the sexually retarded, those Black folks who think that any discussion of sex is offensive, inappropriate, and disgusting. They are the ones who look at vulgar and offensive images of porn in private but are so ashamed of their sexuality that they deny that they even have sex in discussion. Both factions are disabled, neither perspective is healthy.

I had a friend who feigned indignation at my work, she was ashamed to tell her friends and associates what I did for a living. Mind you I WRITE about sex, I am not having sex for money. She would admonish me for being so open about discussions of sexuality but she would have unprotected sex with any man who showed interest in her and bought her a nice dinner. This isn't some ghetto chile, this is the bougiest of the bougie. She is also the same woman let me borrow her laptop only to have Ghetto Gaggers, anal fisting, and a whole host of other degrading websites in her bookmarks.

I have found that Black women in particular have been socialized to think of their bodies as commodities. We, as a culture, do not understand sensuality, seduction, intimacy, romance. We understand fucking. We understand money in exchange for sex. We get emotionless sex. Love is what we don't get. Communion is what we don't get. Men think they are great lovers because they give women multiple orgasms, when in fact, being a good lover is being honest, attentive, caring, nurturing, listening, being vulnerable.

Redefining Black Relationships

A good partner is one who puts the needs of their union above their own. One can't be a good husband or wife if choices and decisions are based on their own desires, wants, and preferences first and their partner is left to deal with the consequences come what may. The key to a good relationship is having two individuals with the same commitment to selflessness. A relationship can't work if one person is committed to the union and the other person is looking out for self. Once you are pair bonded, whether it be in marriage or not, you must stop living for yourself and live for the entity that has been created anew with your partner.

One should expect honesty from their partner, respect, concern, and a willingness to communicate. I don't think gender has anything to do with that. I think one is entitled to a partner who will not jeopardize one's safety or well-being for pleasure, greed, or narcissism. As far as traditional roles, I think they are dysfunctional and based on a sexist model that is only slightly better than the post-modern roles that reek of dysfunction and reign supreme today. A man is not entitled to sex or dinner on the table at a certain hour nor should he be allowed sexual transgressions in the name of "manhood." A woman is not entitled to money in exchange for her body nor to behave like some sassy stereotypical caricature where she can condemn, criticize, and nag simply because she has ovaries. Women should not be expected to be the primary care givers of children and men should not be expected to be the primary bread winners. Ideally, one's talents, abilities, and weaknesses should be weighed against the talents, abilities and weaknesses of one's partner and a mutual decision should be made as to how the roles and responsibilities should be divided. If my partner is the same gender as myself, then the same rules should apply. I personally think we've not seen a healthy model of Black relationships since before we were captured and enslaved. Adhering to "traditional" masculine and feminine roles is to assert that there is an inherent inequality to the sexes. The truly healthy model for relationships should be based on an equality of the sexes with a healthy reverence for the differences each gender brings to the table.

Acting “White”

If a Black person looks to better themselves with an education, he or she is accused of acting white. The Black community loves to throw that saying around like it’s an insult. What exactly does that mean? If you speak well, if you embrace education, if you don’t identify yourself as ghetto, that means you are acting white. It is our way of embracing ignorance, claiming that we have some inherent birthright, based on our color, to poverty and stupidity. Moreover, white people LOVE to feign insight into the Black community by denouncing those who don’t want to “act white” and embrace African Americans who are anxious to divorce themselves from the Black community and identify themselves as colorless. There is no such thing as being colorless in this society and intellect, articulation, and excellence are not exclusive to white people. If we are ever to evolve as a people, we must stop this absurd notion that white people are equivalent to excellence and that being black means we are dumb.

Pick up a book, go back to college, take a night class, use the internet to learn out our history instead of just wasting your life away.

Copyright 2009 AfroerotiK All Rights Reserved

The New and Improved, "I'm not Racist."

I've noticed a recent trend. Any time a white person says something racist, insensitive, or just plain uninformed and I correct them, they immediately respond with, "Hey, I voted for Obama." It doesn't even matter what the topic is. Their immediate, knee jerk response is to say, "I voted for Obama." It's the new, "I'm not racist."

I have to wonder how many of these people are lying. Not every white person voted for Obama. Many didn't vote for him because he is Black. It seems white people have an instant out now by claiming that they voted for Obama and that is supposed to absolve them of any of their misdeeds.

Mr. AfroerotiK Application

Mr. AfroerotiK Application

I’ve given up on finding love. It’s just not going to happen for me. I’ve learned my lesson and I’m prepared to spend the rest of my life alone. I’m not saying that there aren’t any good men out there; I’m saying that the men that I attract are not emotionally mature nor are they capable of vibrating on the same level as I am.

That being said, I’ve created a fool-proof method to get rid of any potential bothersome men who might try to distract me and convince me that true love might in fact be possible for me. I have the quintessential disqualifier of sorts. I’ve composed a series of application questions that I’m going to give to any suitors who may catch me when my guard is down and give me a glimmer of hope that companionship and intimacy might be an actual possibility for me.

The following is a list of questions that any man who is interested in me must complete in full. Those who are unwilling to even attempt the questions are automatically seen for the insincere boys that they really are. Those who complete some of the questions and not all of the questions will prove themselves to only be capable of handling the good situations in life and not the rough or difficult situations. Those who complete all the questions but their answers reveal some hidden misogyny, insecurity, immaturity, or personality flaw will be politely dismissed and summarily discarded with a quickness. That combination of disqualifiers will ensure that no Black man will ever earn the title of “Mr. AfroerotiK.” I demand a man who is introspective, who has examined his life, who can be honest even when the answers are painful.

It’s not too much to ask for a man to answer these questions. If I am to give you my heart, my body, my love, then it certainly should be a privilege for a man to take the time and answer these questions because what he gets in return will be a woman who is loving, nurturing, supportive, challenging, and who will love the dirty socks off him. We as women, myself included, are too quick to allow a man access to our hearts when he hasn’t proven himself worthy. I refuse to get hoodwinked by evil, manipulative, pathological liars and cheaters who know how to say what they think I want to hear but really feel another way. The questions are constructed to weed out the brothas who think they don’t have to do a damn thing to be in a relationship, the game players, the boys, and the emotionally immature.

1. What did you do wrong in your last serious relationship to cause its demise?
2. What does it take to make you happy?
3. What are you going to be doing 10 years from now?
4. What can you say to reassure me that you will never cheat on me?
5. What would you do if you discovered that your wife was cheating on you?
6. Who are your heroes?
7. You are writing our own wedding vows. What would yours be? (roughly)
8. What mistakes did your parents make in raising you?
9. What are you better at than anyone else in the world?
10. If we were in love, how would you SHOW me that you loved me?
11. What is the worst thing your ex’s could say about you?
12. What do you consider your responsibilities in a relationship?
13. Describe in detail your religious, spiritual, philosophical outlook.
14. Why do you think most marriages fail?
15. How would you make our relationship last if one of us were to have to relocate to a distant location?
16. What causes infidelity in relationships?
17. What traditional roles, if any, do you expect your mate to fill in a relationship?
18. What traditional roles, if any, will you be willing to fill in a relationship?
19. What is the sexiest thing a woman has ever done for you?
20. What’s the sexist thing a woman could ever do for you?
21. What do you think is the most important issue facing our country today?
22. What do you think is the most important issue facing the Black community today?
23. Describe the events in your life that made you grow up the most.
24. Describe your position on the following topics: abortion, welfare, homelessness, unemployment, reparations, the war in Iraq, legalizing marijuana,
25. Whom is the person you hate most?
26. Where would you go on your ideal vacation? Describe what you would do.
27. Describe your perfect wedding, honeymoon, and dream home.
28. What’s the biggest regret you have had in your life?
29. What is the stupidest thing you’ve ever done in your life?
30. What’s the smartest thing you’ve ever done in your life?
31. What aspects of your personality would you change if you could?
32. What will they say about you at your funeral?
33. How do you feel about going to counseling?
34. What is the biggest improvement you need to make in your life?
35. How many women have you had unprotected sex with?
36. When will you know when you have found Ms. Right?
37. What makes you think you are ready for a long term relationship?
38. Why do you like me?
39. What is the most important thing you want to teach your children?
40. What is the most important thing that your parents taught you?

Any man who can answer those questions will have proven that he has done the work on himself that is deserving of a chance to be my man.

Pregnant with Desire

Pregnancy can be erotic. Explore the sensual side of being full with child in this selection of images and audio that celebrate the beauty of the ultimate gift of womanhood.

Sexual Healing

In the Shadows

Do openly bisexual Black men really exist?

I'm only interested in openly bisexual Black men as partners. I'm not attracted to bi men who are DL, the ones who can't admit that they are physically or emotionally attracted to other men. I'm not looking for a super freaky threesome either. The last reason I'm looking for a bisexual man is sexual. I'm interested in openly bisexual Black men for many reasons, primarily because I'm attracted to men who have let go of absurd notions of gender and sexuality. I’m interested in bisexual men who can acknowledge that their manhood and masculinity aren't defined by how they experience pleasure. I'm only attracted to men who can distance themselves from the misogynist, patriarchal, sexist, oppressive notions of what it is to be man and how society tells men to relate to women. Men who have redefined their notions of top and bottom and see themselves as sexual beings without labels arouse me. I'm attracted to bisexual men for a host of socio-political reasons but I can't seem to find a bisexual man who is interested in forming a relationship with me. They either prefer men or they find some excuse to display knee jerk homophobia in front of other people. I desire an openly bisexual man. That doesn't mean that he has to wear a t-shirt in public saying "I like Dick," but he at least has to speak up when people say antiquated, homophobic comments. He can't pretend to be straight around people and then only admit his sexual attraction to men behind closed doors. We are so distorted and warped as a people; our sexuality is so unhealthy and dysfunctional that I'm beginning to think that openly bisexual men don't exist.

We are Family

Healthy Black Sexuality Part 2

I don't even think we can get to a discussion of making love vs. having sex (or God forbid vs. fucking) if we can't even mention sex without the morality police stepping up and deeming that sex can't be discussed, mentioned, or debated.

Black Enterprise Magazine approached me, approached ME, about doing an article on my work as a Black female entrepreneur. I was excited as I was about to get the national exposure I have so long been seeking to combat that wretched Zane and her horribly offensive and degrading crap she calls erotica. Finally, I was going to get a national platform to talk about healthy Black sexuality. They told me that I would be getting a list of interview questions in an email and that I was to fill them out and send them back. I waited for that email, and waited, and waited. Finally, I contacted the young lady again and I told her that I hadn't received the interview questions and that I was anxious to get them. She then told me that Black Enterprise readers weren't interested in "my topic" and that they had a much more conservative readership. At which point I asked her if Black Enterprise readers had sex and she promptly hung up on me.

There is a knee jerk reaction in the Black middle class community that kicks in every time there is mention of sex. We can't even have academic discussions of sex without someone deeming that "those sorts of conversations aren't appropriate for this forum." The more we compartmentalize our sex, the more we allow our sexuality to be defined as dirty. Sure, not every conversation is appropriate for every venue but not every one is inappropriate either. The very same people who are sooooo quick to try to silence me at the mere mention of the word erotic are the very same people masturbating to images of pornography that degrade, demean, and objectify us as a people because they refuse to allow any other avenue of sexual expression to be acceptable.

People ask me all the time why I started writing erotica. My response is and has always been, that I am a single, highly-educated, African-centered, Black woman who is not aroused by dogs, thugs, pimps, drug dealers, basketball players, or rappers and I'm not a ghetto hoochie, ghetto whore, nor am I a ghetto big booty freak. Where do I turn for sexual arousal? I started writing erotica because there was nothing that spoke to me. I started writing erotica because I don't find interracial images of black men fucking white women to be arousing and I'm not represented by Black women with weaves, fake nails, and stripper shoes who have no clue what it is to be sensual, only sexual. I'm a 42 year old woman who hasn't been in a relationship in so long that it boggles the mind and I'm tired of men approaching me and thinking that just because I have a big booty and they have a big SUV, that I'm going to have sex with them. That's why I started writing erotica. I wanted to have something that spoke to men, that represented the types of relationships that I was looking for, that get me wet, that allowed me to masturbate to something that represented my view of Black life. I can't be the only woman, the only Black person, who wants or needs to find a sexual outlet that isn't sanitized and sterile but that isn't degrading and cliche either.

There is always this "what you are doing is corrupting children" backlash that I get. I had sex when I was 16 years old. I was far from the first girl of my peers to have sex, in fact, losing one's virginity at around that age was pretty average among my very middle class, suburban peers. That was LONG before BET made Black women out to be freaks, bitches, and ho's. That was long before Zane's books, portraying Black women as nymphomaniac adulterous gold digging, superficial whores, were passed around like a virus. That was LONG before children had access to the internet where every vile, disgusting, perverse sexual act is available to view for free with the click of a mouse. To assert that children, young teens, are going to be warped by my discussions of sexuality is laughable. I'm the only voice that is speaking out and saying that sex should be about love, intimacy, openness, communication, freedom, and responsibility. If anything, young teens need to be exposed to my brand of erotica in order to counter the negative images they see at every turn and to combat the oblivious parents who think that if they don't talk about sex, that their children will somehow escape being exposed to it.

Of course, there's always the, "Blacks aren't the only one's who are victims of the same behavior" argument. My concern is not other communities. My concern is the fact that 7 out of 10 Black children are being born out of wedlock. My concern is that a Black woman in her mid 30s is more likely to be struck by lightning than to get married. My concern is that African Americans are dying of AIDS at a disproportionate rate than any other race. So while other races, creeds, and whathaveyou may very well be steeped in sexual dysfunction, it is affecting US more detrimentally. There are scores of Black men who are impregnating white women to feed the sexual fetish of white couples to have their wives "bred black." There are scores of Black men going into white couples bedrooms every night of the week to feed white couple's racist Nigger Buck Mandingo fantasies. There are young Black women who have never had sex unless it involves some sort of exchange of money or services. Those things are the perils that will destroy our race if we continue to censor our conversations about sex and let some absurd religious/pious sanctimony dictate that sex can't be discussed.