To be a Black domme

Probing into the motivations and core beliefs of white submissive's serves a key and essential function in Black women being able to dismantle negative images of ourselves and redefining ourselves. Knowledge is the key to transformation, and understanding the motivations and drives of subs helps Black women empower themselves to be able to assert their power and control over submissive’s. Being able to tap into and manipulate the subs hot buttons rather than just randomly stabbing in the dark with hit or miss tactics that leave both domme and sub feeling frustrated and unsatisfied ultimately. It's the difference in being a true master of someone, actually controlling their essence, their thoughts and desires, and trying to feel empowered by being an irrational bitch that makes subs jump through hoops and inflict pain based on some desire to feel in control. Just as true dommes know how to identify true subs, true subs know the difference between a woman who is truly in control and a woman who is pretending to be in control to boost her self esteem or take out her frustration on men.

As more and more black women embrace our power, it's essential that we at least come to the table with the information that will enable us to be more than fetishized Black stereotypes, that we will understand that being dominant can be a healthy expression of our sexuality and not just a way to have someone to hurt because we haven't dealt with our own issues of hurt inside. Being a domme doesn't mean you are rude, being a domme doesn't mean you are inflict pain on someone to prove you are superior, and it certainly doesn't mean you come to the table without being fully prepared. Being a domme means you are confident and aware in your self and can experience pleasure from mutual play that fills both the needs of your subs and yourself. No longer do we have to be the sassy Black mammy that yields her strapon and whip to control the naughty white boy. We can be the informed, intelligent Black woman who tenderly and gently breaks down the vestiges of arrogance in her subs and completely controls his desires based on her insights into his motivations. Can the church say amen?

Certainly it helps me as an amateur anthropologist understand the phenomenon of white submission, how it's evolved and the factors perpetuating it. With that information I can either figure out ways to exploit the trend for the betterment of my people or identify commonalities that might lead to me recognizing the same behaviors in men I deal with that are in positions of power. I recognize that an individual's preferences aren't formed in a vacuum.