AfroerotiK

Erotic provocateur, racially-influenced humanist, relentless champion for the oppressed, and facilitator for social change, Scottie Lowe is the brain child, creative genius and the blood, sweat, and tears behind AfroerotiK. Intended to be part academic, part educational, and part sensual, she, yes SHE gave birth to the website to provide people of African descent a place to escape the narrow-mined, stereotypical, limiting and oft-times degrading beliefs that abound about our sexuality. No, not all Black men are driven by lust by white flesh or to create babies and walk away. No, not all Black women are promiscuous welfare queens. And as hard as it may be to believe, no, not all gay Black men are feminine, down low, or HIV positive. Scottie is putting everything on the table to discuss, debate, and dismantle stereotypes in a healthy exchange of ideas. She hopes to provide a more holistic, informed, and enlightened discussion of Black sexuality and dreams of helping couples be more open, honest, and adventurous in their relationships.

Sunday, January 30, 2011

Key Elements for a Healthy Relationship


I wrote this in 2005 (and updated some of the political references for today) but I really think it needs to be explored again now.  Not only because I'm going through some relationship drama in my life but because the principles outlined herein are more relevant today than they were six years ago. 

It’s become more and more apparent to me, over the course of the last couple of weeks, that most people are absolutely clueless when it comes to what constitutes and establishes a healthy relationship.  What’s worse, we aren’t even interested in changing our behaviors in an effort to move to a different place, we want to hold on to obviously dysfunctional and destructive patterns, justify them, and then blame other people for hurting us.  The choices we make in our relationships are blatantly unhealthy and then we cry and boo hoo that the other person has wronged us.  I know that everyone isn’t on the same path of healing but it seems almost incomprehensible that it’s 2005 and people are not even willing to make efforts to examine their lives in a conscious effort to build a stronger relationship.

NOW, I’ll be the first to say that I’m not an expert on relationships.  I haven’t been in a relationship for almost 15 years.  In those 15 years however, I’ve spent a lot of time trying to analyze why I’ve chosen the relationships I’ve been in, what I did wrong, what belief systems I need to change, and trying to conceptualize exactly how I want any future relationships I enter into.  I’ve tried to determine exactly what I want my partner to be like, how I want to interact with my partner, what I bring to the table, and what things I will and will not compromise on in a partnership.  I’ve come up with some things that I think are essential for building a healthy relationship and I’m going to share my thoughts on the subject with the hopes that some other people will come up with criteria that will work for them in building a strong relationship.

  1. First and foremost, in order to build a healthy and strong relationship, you must, you MUST look at why you are the way you are.  You have to figure out why you like the men that don’t like you, why you choose the women that need to be rescued and then you resent them when they ask you for security.  You have to look at the reasons behind why you fall in love in a week and then three months later you hate that person like they are a serial killer.   Why do you continue to love people that don’t love you?  Why do you feel like your life is over when you get rejected?  All of the reasons why we behave the way we do are set up in our childhood.  We duplicate the things we experienced in our childhood so we must figure out what caused us to be the way we are.  Your dad wasn’t around, your mother played the martyr “Strong Black woman” icon, you saw her have a string of no good men come in and out of your life, you wanted your daddy to love you, you wanted to be like your daddy, cool and aloof and unattached . . . whatever the belief system, you have to figure that out first and foremost so you can identify the pattern in your relationships and work to correct it.  When you see that red flag pop up, you can understand where it comes from and then work towards moving to a healthier place.  The problem with looking at our past is that it’s painful.  We don’t want to have to face the fact that we think we are unworthy of love because we feel fat, ugly, insecure, or flawed.  We don’t want to admit to ourselves that we have fears of abandonment from when we had to go live with our auntie when we were little.  It is that acknowledgement and that ability to examine YOUR OWN LIFE that will make you a better person in a relationship and without that, you are doomed to continue to perpetuate those same horrible relationships over and over again.

  1. You must have a set of emotional criteria that you feel is essential for what constitutes a loving relationship for you.  You must define your emotional boundaries and establish what you need emotionally in a relationship and you have to demand that from your partner.  What does that mean?  Everyone has different things that would make them feel loved and valued, you have to have that clearly defined in your head and then seek a partner that is willing to help you paint that picture.  If you meet someone and they can’t subscribe to your vision of love, if its too much of a burden for them to do the things you need to feed you emotionally, that’s not the person for you.  For some people, you need a partner that will call you every day and check in with you just to make sure you are doing okay.  For others, it means you need physical affection, constant hugs and kisses, and intimacy.  Others still might need a relationship in which there is no fighting.  You have to know what you want your relationship to look like in order for you to be able to achieve it.  The trick is to identify the emotional things that build strong relationships and not the material things that damage them. 

Suppose, as a woman, you think love is having a man buy you all sorts of thing and pay all your bills.  You seek that out in a partner and then he beats you, controls your every move, you feel trapped.  What you’ve done is identify a selfish material need, not an emotional need.  The emotional need would be to feel security.  Security comes in many forms and can be expressed in lots of ways.  If your man helps you organize your bills so you can pay them on time yourself, helps you get your resume together so you can get a better job with more income, quizzes you with interview questions, if he helps you plan a budget so that you can save to buy a house and you won’t have to be uprooted once a year, that’s meeting your emotional needs, not your physical ones.  If, as a man, you want a relationship where you have a woman that looks like she stepped off the cover of a magazine or a video set every day in order to show other men that you are better than them, in order to prove that you have what it takes to get the best looking woman, what you are looking for emotionally is confidence and self esteem.  That can’t come from a woman; true confidence and self-esteem must come from inside.  That woman that has her hair done all the time, her nails and toes painted to match, that wears the designer outfit in her two-seater, convertible sports car will not honor you as a man, she will use you for your money and move on when the next man with more money offers to buy her.  The woman that will help you go back to school and get your degree, and who will get up at 5 am on a Saturday morning to help you train for that marathon is the woman that will support your accomplishments and be a loving partner.  As long as you go for the packaging and not what’s inside, you’ll be doomed to be miserable in your relationships.

3.      A healthy relationship must be built on integrity and selflessness.  Integrity means steadfast adherence to a strict moral or ethical code and selflessness means exhibiting, or motivated by NO concern for oneself; unselfish.  Those are foreign words to most people these days because we’ve been socialized to look out for self.  The idea of putting another person’s feelings above our own is impossible for some people to grasp.  You can’t be in a healthy relationship if you lie, cheat, or make choices that benefit you and not your partner.  Every choice, every decision, every move you make has to benefit your partner or your relationship.  Now, here’s the rub.  Your partner has to have the same commitment to the relationship in order for it to work.  You can’t say, “I love John/Mary, but I have to go out on Friday night to party because that’s what I love to do and if they don’t like it, too bad.”  Well, that’s not entirely true.  You can say that but you will be in a very unhealthy relationship if you do.  To be in a healthy relationship, you have to put your needs last and have a partner that is willing to put their needs last as well.  If both of you are working on building a relationship where you honor and love the other person, where you put the other person’s needs ahead of your own, both of you will be in a relationship where neither on will jeopardize the relationship by doing something selfish.  That means you can’t have instant gratification all the time.  That means you won’t cheat when the opportunity comes up because you think you can get away with it because you will think about your spouse and know that your actions would hurt them.  You won’t stay out all weekend without calling because you will know that they will be worried to death about you.  You won’t buy the super expensive hot tub or the entertainment system you’ve always wanted without asking permission first because you know any selfish choice you make for yourself in the relationship will negatively effect how you get along.  You will ask your partners opinion on things and come to a compromise that honors both of you. 

4.      It almost goes without saying because it’s so essential and most people will say they want it in a relationship but hardly anyone at all practices it.  Honesty is the foundation for a healthy relationship.  Honesty means telling your partner all your dirty little secrets, fears, fantasies, dreams, and insecurities.  Honesty is the ultimate measure of respect for your partner and it’s the cornerstone for two people relating in a way that will grow and build.  You must start by being honest with yourself.  That means you must be able to admit to yourself that you really do like the idea of having sex in a tub of chocolate pudding and that it’s not going to go away, no matter how much you want it to.  You have to tell be able to tell your partner all of the things that make you tick or otherwise you are only presenting a shell of yourself to your partner and you are not allowing them to love all of you.  If you have a sexual fantasy that you are afraid to share you’re your spouse, that means you are ashamed of your fantasy.  If you are ashamed of your fantasy, that means you are not being true to yourself.  “But my wife will never understand that I want to get fucked in the ass with a strapon, she’ll think I’m gay.”  “My boyfriend will never understand that I want to be gangbanged.”  If you are with a partner who will not be willing to communicate and love you for who you are, you aren’t in a healthy relationship.  There is no consensual sexual fantasy or fetish that should not be able to be discussed.  You, as an adult, should be able to  A.) point to the emotional need it fills in you and work to get that in other ways, and B.) keep in mind that if you choose to fulfill a fantasy without your partner, you’ve violated the rule of putting your partner’s emotional needs first. 

Honesty goes far beyond just sharing your fantasies.  You have to be able to tell your spouse that you peed your pants in the third grade when the teacher called you to the blackboard and you were nervous because you didn’t know the answer.  You have to be able to tell your spouse that your cousin molested you when you were 10 and it’s fucked with your head ever since.  You have to have a commitment to telling your partner that you’ve made a mistake and were unfaithful and let them choose how to process that information in a way that is healthy for them.   You have to not keep the information that the IRS is going to repossess your home for tax fraud you had before you got married.  Any time you keep a secret from your spouse, any time you lie, and time you allow dishonesty to come between you and your partner, you are chipping away at the foundation of your healthy relationship. 

“Well, I’m in a relationship and I know that he or she will leave me if I told them the truth about all the shit I’ve done.”  That is a glaring indication that you are in an unhealthy relationship.  There are too many things that will work to destroy your relationship outside your front door.  Again, you have to have a commitment to telling the truth and you have to have a partner that is equally as committed to telling the truth.  If you start letting dishonesty in your relationship, your partner will not have your back when the shit hits the fan.  Having a healthy relationship is not easy, in fact, it’s very hard.  Lies and healthy relationship just don’t mix.

5.      Good communication is essential in building a healthy relationship.  You and your partner must have a way to disagree that doesn’t include yelling, screaming, and calling names.  Most of us don’t know how to do that so go get a book on communication or go to counseling.  You must be willing to let your partner be mad without getting defensive.  You must be willing to let your partner have the space they need in order to process their emotions.  You have to be willing to look things from their perspective and see things as they see them.  You have to be willing to find a partner that is committed to having the same standard to communication as you or else you’ve just entered into another dysfunctional relationship. 

6.      Similar belief systems are a key ingredient to building a strong, healthy relationship.  I’ve heard many people say that they want a partner who shares the same social interests as them but they don’t care what their philosophical, or political, or spiritual beliefs are.  That is a recipe for a shaky relationship at best.  It would be great if you and your partner liked the same music and movies and you both liked to bowl.  Those things are entertainment and it would be great to share those things with your partner.  If, however, you are looking to build a healthy relationship with you partner, those things are icing on the cake and not the key ingredients to building a relationship.  If you are a radical libertarian and you get involved with someone who thinks Sarah Palin will make a great president (which is saying a whole helluva lot) then you are going to be setting up arguments in your relationship about your core beliefs.  If you like skating and your partner likes chess but you both are staunch Green Party, Pro-Choice, Anti-war, vegetarian, Hassidic Jews then you can go out skating, your partner can go out and play chess and when you come home you’ll be share your thoughts and feelings over a plate of curry lentils and plan out a strategy to hug a tree and rally for legislation to bring our soldiers home.  Those are the things that will make the community better and building a strong community starts with building a strong family unit first.  If you like 50cent and your partner like Cold Play, you can set times to listen to your music and his or her music that doesn’t piss both of you off.  If you believe in your heart that a gay couple has a right to adopt and your partner does not, you are going to go to bed pissed off and mad many, many night. 

7.      Compromise is a huge keyword for relationships.  People seem to confuse compromising with your partner and compromising your standards.  If you have done your homework and you are really interested in building a strong relationship, you’ve already decided what you need to emotionally fulfill you.  With that list in hand, you need to compare every person you meet to that list and decided which things are must haves, which things are “nice to haves.”  On your emotional list, you must be rigid in the selection of your partner because if you compromise on what you need, you’ll end up unhappy and miserable and you’ll end up sabotaging your relationship by trying to make your partner feel as unhappy as you are.  Now, there’s another list of things that you want in your partner, the physical things.  You want a partner that is a certain height, weight, complexion, hair length, etc.  Other than hygiene, treat everything on that list with a grain of salt.  “Oh, but I know what I like and I can’t change what turns me on.”  That’s great.  Mature adults in healthy relationships, however, can see far beyond the outside of the package.  Make your priority the qualities of the heart you are looking for and not the 38DDDs or the 10 inch dick.  I’m not suggesting you partner with someone you think is ugly, but if you find someone you find attractive and they aren’t as tall as you’d like, or they don’t have small feet or something superficial, look past that. 

Compromise inside of a relationship is essential.  Once you’ve found the person who has looked at their own issues, that is committed to being honest, and putting your feelings ahead of theirs, that is interested in communicating without yelling and has the same passions as you, THEN and only then can you compromise on what movie to go to Friday, whose parents you are going to for the holidays, and what to name the children.  In order to get the sort of person that is worthy of that sort of compromise, you must BE that sort of person first.  All too often, we say, “Oh, I’ll change when I meet the person that is worth it.”  Sadly, you have to change who you are first and then you’ll attract the sort of people that will be worth it. 

If you aren’t in a relationship now and you want to be, how do you ensure that the next relationship will be healthier than your last?  Go down the list and start by making a commitment that you are going to work on all of those things before you enter into a relationship again.  Practice being honest, it’s not easy.  Practice resolving conflicts in a different way.  Decide what emotional needs you want met in your relationship and be willing to put them on the table as non-negotiables.  When you find a person and they fit the outside criteria and not the emotional needs, make a commitment to pass and continue to invest your time and energy into relationships that is healthy.  Sit down and write out all the things that shaped your personality.  Take the time to really get to know a person BEFORE you commit to them.  Take some time to get to know yourself.   That means stay in the house for a few weekends, don’t talk on the phone every night trying to find someone to hook up with.  Don’t be so desperate to be in a relationship that you throw yourself at the next person that shows interest in you.  I’d say if you did any combination of those things, you’d be on your way to a more fulfilling, satisfying, enriching relationship than the ones you’ve been in in the past.

Copyright 2005 Scottie Lowe






Saturday, January 29, 2011

I Want a Lover with a Slow Hand



Life is always giving us opportunities to grow and evolve, right?  Ever the introspective one, I’m always attempting to look within, challenge my beliefs systems, and heal my wounds by being radically honest and self-aware.  I had the opportunity recently to connect intimately with a potential partner.  For several reasons, I decided that it was going to be several months before we had sex.  Of course, there were times when I was hot and bothered and I rationalized how several weeks rather than months would be sufficient for our self-imposed abstinence.  Of course, at times, I was so incredibly aroused I was willing to say, “To hell with weeks, days, hours, or minutes, I need you inside me NOW!”  Calmer heads prevailed and we didn’t have sex.  I’m fortunate that we didn’t because I subsequently learned that he was not anywhere near the quality and caliber of man that I was looking for in a partner and sex would have not only made me more intimately bonded to him, it also would have made it virtually impossible (or, more accurately, extremely difficult) for me to break that bond when he revealed his true, disingenuous colors.  In our erotic exploration, however, I learned a few things about myself and my erotic needs.  

I have a clear vision of what I want, crave, and need from a lover.  AfroerotiK is not just my company, my brand, a vehicle for my writing, it is my philosophy.  AfroerotiK is how I live my life.  My lover, the man who will ultimately get to share my body in ways that few will ever tastes the pleasures of, is someone who does not feel the need to degrade me during sex.  While I understand clearly that the prevalence of porn and women who have been socialized to be objects creates an almost understated forgone conclusion that women will want to be called a bitch, whore, and a slut during sex, that we will want to be pounded, slapped, and made to suck dick, gag, and willingly accept cum on our faces or down our throats and enjoy it, there are some of us, at the very least I am absolutely NOT aroused by or interested in any such treatment.  That doesn’t mean that I need slow and gentle lovemaking with candles burning and Teddy Pendergrass playing every time in the background.  I just need the simple acknowledgment that he understands that my body is a gift to him and that I don’t feel any arousal at being objectified, used, or humiliated.  I love getting fucked.  In fact, I adore the concept of my lover being so incredibly aroused that he is driven to fits of almost maniacal lust inside me.  My lover will not need to spank, slap, restrain or call me names during sex.  That means that I want him to see me as the special, unique, and wonderful woman I am.  I cannot and will not tolerate being called names in the heat of passion in order to appease a male ego that needs to degrade women in order to feel arousal.  

I desire a lover who understands well that intimacy, sensuality, and passion are intricately tied to lovemaking and that sex is an expression of spiritual and emotional communion and love as well as lust and desire.  I need a lover who understands that making love is not just fucking slow.   He will understand that the more time he takes to get me wet the more I will be willing to show my passion for him in virtually unspeakable and unthinkable ways.   He will be willing to take his time to learn my body.  And by take his time, I don’t mean 30 minutes of foreplay and dirty talk, I mean weeks if need be to understand what buttons to push to make me soak the sheets and wake the neighbors.  I need a lover who will slowly, sensually, caress every square inch of my body in an effort to provide me with pleasure, not just a perfunctory, half-hearted massage that barely masks his thinly-veiled attempts to get to get directly to my pussy.  The man who understands that my asshole needs slow, tender gentle attention in order to get to the fast, furious earth-shattering fucking that will come when he takes his time.  I am not the first woman you fucked when you were 16 years old and what she liked is surely not what I will like.  I need someone who can understand that my body is sensitive in ways that most other women’s is not and that biting, pinching and grabbing will not get me anywhere near the place where I’m begging to have a man inside me.  Quite a few men would do well to learn how to give a good massage, not trying to squeeze and knead out tension like a sports therapist but to play my body like an instrument, coaxing it to arousal with soft caresses.   

One of the traits that is essential for me in a man is his ability to control his lusts.  If a man feels he must masturbate every day, look at porn every single day, then it’s apparent to me that he can only see sex as a physical outlet and that I am nothing more than a receptacle for his sperm, a masturbatory aide.  Masturbation is healthy, it feels good, it’s a much needed release.  Being unable to go a week or even two weeks without ejaculation is a sign of sexual immaturity and dysfunction.  Yes, I fully understand that men tend to have higher sex drives than women and I’m almost sure I understand that what they feel is vastly different to the sensations I feel when I orgasm.  That being said, however, a sexually mature individual is someone who can appreciate delayed gratification.  I’m sure there are lots of men who are offended by the concept of me suggesting that their daily masturbation is somehow wrong.  For them, perhaps it is not.  For my potential lover however, it most certainly is.  A man who is driven by his need to cum is a man who will lie, cheat, and manipulate in order to get sex.  That man has absolutely NO chance of ever experiencing my body.  I might add that there are some men who say that they never masturbate.  I think I am to understand that they say that masturbation doesn’t feel as good as the real thing, that it’s not manly, or there is some biblical reason to abstain from self pleasure.  Those are the very same men who will fuck anyone without standard or discrimination in order to get off.  Needless to say, those men are not the men who will gain access to my sacred space either.  Balance and maturity are the keys to my treasure.  

My AfroerotiK lover is one who will use his lips, tongue, and mouth gently to explore every inch of my body.  He will be willing to take the time to bathe my body, anoint me with oils and lotions, lick my pussy softly and sensually until I’m creaming in his mouth and begging for him to penetrate me.  He will use his dick, not as a weapon to stab but as an vehicle of pleasure to drive me to fits of pleasure, orgasm, and ecstasy over and over and over again.  

Copyright 2011 AfroerotiK All Rights Reserved



Sunday, January 23, 2011

Transformation




The bartender noticed the slight movement of hand and the universal nod as the gentleman discreetly ordered another round of drinks while his date wasn’t looking.  He wasn’t trying to get her drunk; he was actually trying to work up his nerve.  Who would have thought that Doug Rivers, President and CEO of Major Conglomerate, Inc., or some such corporate plantation, would be nervous on a date with the overnight security guard in his office building? 

He had seen her for months.  He would leave his office at midnight and return at 6 a.m. and she would be there, competent, friendly, efficient and smiling.  Even with their brief interaction, Doug could tell that she wasn’t the usual overnight lackey that used the job to catch up on sleep or play video games on the computer.  She always looked him in the eye, anticipated his wants and followed up with details above and beyond what Doug required. 

Regina Marvel took her job seriously but it wasn’t difficult to do.  The job was beneath her, she dangerously underemployed and could do the job with one hand tied behind her back.  It fit her schedule perfectly however, she could go to school in the evenings, use the overnight shift to study and do research and sleep during the day.  It was the perfect gig for a grad student and she was going to take advantage of the situation as long as it was beneficial to her. 

There was something about Regina that absolutely fascinated Doug.  He found himself lingering in the lobby on his way home for inexplicable reasons.  He would actually look forward to their brief encounters on his way to the lobby in the elevator, aware that she could see his every move on the security cameras.  He wanted to strike up a conversation with her but he wasn’t sure exactly how-- or why for that matter.  She was a freakin’ security guard for God’s sake.  AND Black.  He was almost positive that he wasn’t attracted to her.  Regina was NOT his type.  Doug could get any Playboy centerfold of his choice.  If he met a bimbo and something wasn’t exactly to his liking, he had the money and the wherewithal to hire the best plastic surgeons money could buy to remedy it.  Surely, Doug Rivers could have any blonde-haired, blue-eyed, size 2 woman he wanted.  Why on earth would he find himself looking forward to seeing her every day?  Sure, she had a pretty face but she was every bit of size 18.  The top button on her navy blue uniform did little to hide her ample cleavage and Doug found himself trying to not stare occasionally. 

His curiosity could not be contained one night when he peeked over the desk one night and asked, “What are you reading back there?”

“Re-reading actually.  It’s a standard.  Patricia Hill-Collins’ Black Feminist Thought.  I’m dismantling the womanist vs. feminist argument YET AGAIN for my professor. 

Doug froze.  He’d never expected a response like that.  “Wow, I’ve never even heard of Patricia Hope-Collins yet alone can I articulate what the hell a womanist is.  I didn’t think you were that smart . . . “   He felt like an idiot the second the words left his mouth.  He never intended to be disrespectful, even to the hourly employees.  He knew he had insulted her and the sincerity in his voice was apparent as he said, “ I’m so sorry, that didn’t come out right.”

“It’s Hill-Collins and don’t sweat it.  I get it all the time at this job.  People expect me to be functionally illiterate and stupid all time.  It’s part of the job . . . It’s part of your white privilege.  You don’t have to see me as a human being.  I’m just the black body behind the desk to wait on you hand and foot.”  Regina had never been one to censor her true thoughts and the words flowed from her mouth without even the slightest hesitation. 

Doug felt the blood rise up in his cheeks.  He was mad at her for being so blunt and mad at himself because she was right.  He couldn’t let her know that he was so shaken by her forwardness.  “I’m not racist . . . I see everyone the same . . .  color doesn’t matter.”  He was spewing out clich├ęs left and right, stumbling over his words in an effort to ease the guilt and the fact that he was painfully aware the that higher the floor number in his company the lower the numbers of African Americans.  “I don’t think that at all,” he mumbled.  “And to prove it,” gaining more nerve as he spoke,” how about I take you out for a drink on Saturday night to make up for my stupidity?  You can explain to me what womanism is.”  The words came out before he knew what he had said. 

“Mr. Rivers, I don’t need your pity date.  I’m quite confident in who I am and I don’t need to validate my intellect or personhood to alleviate your white guilt.” 

How dare she!  The gauntlet had been thrown.  How dare she challenge his motivations.  Did she have any idea who she just turned down?  Doug wondered if she had any idea how many zeroes he had in his net worth.  He was incensed that she would be so bold as to reject his offer.  There was some movement in his slacks that indicated that she had pushed the right buttons however and stirred him to an almost maniacal competitive passion. 

“This isn’t a pity date and I won’t take no for an answer.  I’ll pick you up here at 8 on Saturday,” his ego dictating his words more than common sense at that point.  “I sincerely want to get to know you better.” 

Regina laughed at his persistence and said, “If you are going to pick me up you will pick me up at my home, like a gentleman.  Unless you are afraid to come to the ghetto, Mr. Rivers . . . ,” her voice trailing off leaving a trail of innuendo and challenge. 

At that moment, Doug wanted to say, “My roommate in college was Black,” but he had attended enough of those damn sensitivity workshops to know that would be digging a deeper hole for himself.  Regina had scribbled her address on a post-it and extended it to him as an unspoken invitation. “Eight it is,” he said.

Doug was pleasantly surprised at the neighborhood that Regina lived in.  Half because he expected her to live in the ghetto and half because it looked relatively affluent and ALL Black.  He knocked on the door promptly at 8, hoping he could ease his guilt, have a drink and have her home by 9:30.  Then it would be on to a wild night of drinking and partying with the boys. 

Doug could barely believe his eyes when she opened the door.  Gone was the navy blue polyester uniform and conservative demeanor of the night security guard.  Before him was an astonishingly beautiful woman.  Her hair was down, rather than in a severe bun, and it framed her lovely face.  Her eyes were dramatic and smoky and her lips were seductive red.  She was wearing a gold colored blouse that came off the shoulder and a rust colored silk skirt that hugged her full hips, thighs and round ass.  Her smooth legs were bare and she had the tiniest high-heeled sandals that looked like nothing more than a delicate leather string that went across her perfectly pedicured toes and around her ankles.  She smelled like a mix of coconut and jasmine and something else . . . something feminine.  Her brown skin was luminescent and staring at her curvaceous figure and dazzling smile he wondered momentarily how he had not found Black women more attractive previously.  Regina was nothing less than breathtaking.

At that moment, Doug knew he was in over his head.  He quickly changed his game plan and decided to take her to his favorite exclusive martini and cigar bar.  If there was ever an atmosphere for seduction, it was there.  It was dark and secluded and the perfect environment for some sensual interplay . . . or foreplay if he was lucky.  He wasn’t sure if this was a game anymore or pure desire. 

Regina controlled the conversation, her wit, charm and intellect completely blowing Doug out of the water.  When she laughed she leaned in close and put her hand on his thigh, when she listening to his tales of mergers, takeovers and general male bravado, she licked her lips seductively and maintained her seductive eye contact.  The semi-erection Doug sported all night served to make his stories more animated and his movements guarded. 

After a few drinks and more than enough flirtation, Regina took control.  “Mr. Rivers,” she leaned in close,” Let’s drop the pretenses here, shall we? There’s enough chemistry between us to win the Half Hollow Hills Annual Science Fair.  Let’s go back to my place and see what happens.  No strings.” 

Doug swallowed hard.  He had never been with a Black woman before.  He wondered silently if it would look different, taste different, feel different.  What would his friends say?  Would they be able to tell just by looking at him that he was “different”?  A million thoughts raced through his head.  Only one word came out.  “Sure.”

He was out of his element in her home.  It was beautifully decorated, immaculate and filled with exquisite examples of Black artwork.  Doug never before considered that Black people would have all Black people in their artwork.  He hadn’t even considered that such a genre existed.  He sat nervously as she went to make herself more comfortable.  She emerged from the bedroom in a white satin nightgown.  Her nipples poked through the shiny material and her full breasts were overflowing.  In her bare feet now, she sat close to him to resume her seduction. 

Doug’s eyes couldn’t focus.  He wanted to touch her hair to see if it felt different, touch her skin to see if it felt like the velvet he imagined it to look like.  His body was alive with electricity.   “What am I doing here,” he kept thinking to himself, “she’s the overnight security guard?”    No matter what her job, or his for that matter; he knew he wanted her with every ounce of his being. 

Breaking the ice, Regina leaned in close and kissed Doug.  Her lips tasted like the slightest hint of strawberry.  Doug closed his eyes and felt his male instinct take over.  Gone were the roles and the titles, this was a man and a woman and she was about to receive every bit of his all out maneuvers.  He was intoxicated with her full lips and soft tongue.  As he cradled the back of her head he marveled at how soft her hair was.  His hands roamed freely over her curves, caressing gently her small waist and sexy bottom. 

At that point Regina was a simmering hotbed of hormones.  She didn’t give a damn if it was Duke of Windsor on her sofa, she was aroused, he was a man, and she was a woman.  They kissed more passionately, the fever rising higher.  She could feel the wetness between her legs increase.  She felt for his dick, half expecting to be disappointed.  It wasn’t the biggest dick she’d ever felt in her life but it seemed formidable enough to do the job.  It certainly was hard and it belonged to a man that was the object of her desire at that particular moment.  She placed his hand in hers and said, “let’s go.” 

The trail of men’s clothing that led to her bedroom looked like a fitting room at Saks during their annual blowout sale.  For a moment it was looking doubtful that they would make it to the bedroom at all.  Regina had lit candles and incense when she had changed her clothes so the room was warm, almost too warm, and the scent made Doug slightly light headed.  She stood before him and lowered the straps to her gown and sensuously stepped out of it, glowing in the candlelight. 

Doug was so hard it almost hurt and he was leaking precum like a teenager.  His own insecurities flashed in his mind momentarily.  “Will I be enough to satisfy her,” he thought?  Sensing his reluctance, Regina kissed him again, this time more animalistic than before.  She stroked him and whispered in his ear, “I want you,” to allay any of his imagined and unfounded fears. 

“Suck my titties, Mr. Rivers,” the exchange of power completely evident even with her use of his surname.  Regina was in control of this ship.  The weight of her breasts captivated him.  He had never in his life felt tits that big AND real.  He suckled and nursed for pleasure and comfort, wanting to bury his face in between them. 

Regina eased herself back on the white down comforter and Doug sucked and followed suit.  He positioned himself between her legs and made himself more comfortable.  His hands found her sweet center and he said, “Oh my god, you are soooo wet.” 

He held his fingers to his nose and inhaled deeply her scent.  He licked her fingers and tasted her sticky, sweet, salty, earthy juices.  He was in heaven.  He spread her legs further apart to view all of her.  He clit stuck out and was begging to be sucked.  Her lips parted to reveal a pink center that was glistening with moisture.  Regina spread her pussy lips and finger fucked herself just inches away from his face.  He was mesmerized.  She pulled her fingers out and sucked her juices. 

Her raw sensuality almost drove Doug over the edge.  He put his lips to her core and tasted her sweetness, assured it was the best tasting pussy he’d ever had.  He wanted to live up to the reputation white boys had about being the best at oral sex.  He licked, sucked, tongued, and licked some more.  He kept his eyes open so he could see everything.  Regina grabbed his head and held it to her pussy as she had a series of mini orgasms in his mouth.  He had no desire to stop eating her.  He licked even more, encircling his arms around her thighs to ensure that she could not get away. 

“Oh shit, white boy, eat my pussy,” the sweet melody of her voice a different kind of honey to feed his appetites.  He was ready to explode.  “Come here baby and let me return the favor.” 

Doug’s head was spinning.  He had to make a judgment call then and there.  He was at the peak of his arousal.  A few seconds of those soft, wet lips on him and he was surely going to shoot his load.  He had to prioritize.  Feeling that pussy was first and foremost on his agenda.  This might be a once in a lifetime opportunity.  He paused, and as if reading his mind, Regina whispered, “Don’t worry.  Before the night is over I’ll have you in my mouth, pussy and ass if you are lucky.” 

He groaned in a fog of disbelief and arousal.  He straddled her face and hesitated.  For a brief second, he wondered if it was politically correct to assume a superior position over Regina.  Not only was she an employee but the centuries of disproportionate power whites had over blacks also played on his mind.  He knew deep in his heart that she was every bit his equal but he hesitated.  All reservations quickly disappeared as he felt her full lips envelop him.  “Oh shit, suck my cock, that feels so good.” The magic her lips created erased all doubt.  Her mouth was an erotic vacuum, coaxing his cum out of his balls.  He closed his eyes for the first time during the evening and fucked her mouth like it was a pussy.  He saw lights behind his eyes as he shot spurt after spurt of cum in her mouth. 

He collapsed in silence next to her and lay in silence.  Embarrassment and insecurity crept over him.  Tonight had been an eye-opening experience and quite possibly the best sexual experience of his life.  He wanted more but was unsure how to ask for it.  Unsure of what to say or do he lay there motionless, pretending to drift off to sleep, fully awake and semi erect. 

Regina snuggled next to him and stuck her tongue in his ear as she whispered.  “Come on lover.  I’m going to give you the ride of your life.”  She got up on her hands and knees and presented him with a view of perfection.  Sweet, soft mounds of Ebony flesh presented to him for his pleasure, the promised land lay within his reach.  He knelt behind her and held his erection to her opening; the contrast in color was intoxicating.  Never in his life had he seen anything so sexy.  Never in his life had he felt so alive.  Transformed, it seems by the overnight security guard. 

Copyright 2004 AfroerotiK